The first thing Willow did when she left the station was buy a untraceable cell phone and place a call.
"Hello?" The woman on the other end answered.
"He is not dead. He is back! You need to move right now. Take her and go. Call me in a month. Don't contact me until then. No, don't say anything just go. You know what to do. The money is all there for you. Just go." Willow said into the phone then hung up dropped the phone onto the ground and smashed it. No one must be able to trace that call.
After making the call Willow gassed up her car and left Lanview there was somewhere she had to go. She had to go talk to Darren.
Willow drove back to New York and to the cemetery that she had not been able to face years ago. She drove in silence for what seemed like eternity, but in reality was only a couple of hours. As she neared the cemetery Willow's stomach tightened in dread. She hadn't been able to face coming here. Hopefully now she could handle it. There was something she needed to do. To say.
Willow had pulled into the cemetery and gotten out of the car looking for Darren's grave. A quick search revealed its location and soon Willow was standing in front of a head stone marked Darren James 1978-1999. As Willow stared at the stone tears streamed down her face.
Thoughts of her beloved Darren swirled in her head and she was transported back in time. Their first meeting, their first date, kiss, the first time they made love. "God Darren. How did we end up here? I didn't know what I was doing when I made that choice. I'm so sorry. Its my fault your dead!"
Willow stood there talking to Darren's headstone as the tears dripped off her face. "I wish I had done things differently. But I didn't know. I thought that he was dead. I stabbed him in the chest. How could he survive that? I should have checked I should have made sure. God I'm So SORRY." Willow yelled into the air before breaking down completely.
Willow started sobbing and dropped down on her knees beside the headstone. She cried for all that she had lost. She cried for Darren's life which had been cut so short. Most of all she cried because it was because of what she had done that Darren was in this grave.
She cried for what seemed like hours, cried bitter tears of sorrow and loss, till she had cried out all her tears. She cried until she felt empty inside. And still she sat looking at Darren's headstone. Soon a different emotion began to fill her. One that cried out for vengeance. She had to find out who this guy was. He had to pay!
Willow pulled out her knife that she always wore in her boot and brought it to her other hand. With a slashing motion Willow sliced a thin line on her palm and held it over Darren's grave, letting the blood fall.
"I will find out who did this, I will make them pay!" Willow vowed in a grim voice filled with determination and violent fury. She watch in morbid satisfaction as the blood dripped onto the ground. "I SWEAR TO GOD, HE WILL PAY!" Willow vowed again.
That's how John found her. He had told Natalie and Rex to wait in the car for a minute so he could talk to Willow alone. John had walked up quietly behind her as she was sitting there holding her hand over the grave, blood flowing freely from her palm.
At first he hadn't know what she was doing and then he had heard her vow and the tone in which she had said it. He knew she meant every word. John also knew he couldn't let her fulfill it. It would destroy her. He loved her too much for that.
He searched his mind for something to say to her, nothing came to mind. Probably because he knew there wasn't anything he could say to make her feel better. When Caitlyn had died he had felt like a part of himself had died as well. Knowing it had been his fault had led him to shut himself off from the world for 5 years. Until Natalie. He didn't want that for Willow.
"Hello John." Willow said in a flat voice.
John jumped. He hadn't realized she knew he was there.
"How are you Will?" He asked gently, not wanting to push.
"How do you think? I just found out that I caused the man I loved to get his throat slashed. How would you be?" Willow asked sarcastically.
"I'm sorry" John said sounding hurt.
Willow sighed, "No I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Rex asked gently as he and Natalie walked into view.
Both John and Willow started. They hadn't heard them come up. Rex looked at Willow and gasped when he saw her bleeding hand. Kneeling next to her he took her hand in his. "What happened? Were you attacked? Are you ok?"
Willow looked at John unsure if he knew what she had done and said. He didn't look like he knew so she said, "Nothing I just snagged it on a branch," putting the knife back in her boot swiftly, undetected by anyone but John. She smiled slightly at the concern in Rex's voice.
Natalie ran back to the car and then came back with a first aid kit to bandage up Willow's hand. When she saw the cut she sent a questioning look to John. This wasn't a branch snag, this was a knife wound. Natalie had seen enough of them living in Atlantic City to know the difference. John nodded slightly and mouthed "I'll tell you later."
"So do you want to talk about it? It helps, I know from experience." Natalie said as she finished tending Willow's cut hand.
Willow looked from Rex, who was silently holding her hand, to Natalie and John, who were kneeling beside her. She looked at the grave again and again at John and sighed.
"Ok, but we will have to do it in Lanview at the station."
"Why?" John asked softly.
"Because I am only going to say it once so everyone who needs to know will have to be there." Willow said sadly. "Mikey and Mom will have to meet us there. They need to here it too. Natalie you and Rex need to be there too. I also might need a lawyer." With that she stood up.
Willow stood up with determination only to have everything go black and her knees buckle. The ground came rushing up to meet her. Before she could reach the ground both John and Rex rushed to catch her. Rex got there first and swung her up in his arms and carried her to John's car. John and Natalie followed close on his heels.
As Rex sat her in the passenger seat of John's car Willow started to come too. "Wha..? What happened?" She asked.
"You fainted." Rex said gently.
She looked at him with a faint smile, "did you catch me?"
"Of course I did. I'll always catch you?" Rex answered fondly, looking at her tenderly, lovingly.
Willow looked around and asked, "But why?.. I never faint."
John answered this time, "You've been through a lot Will, this is too much for anyone to handle. Let me take you home. Rex and Natalie will take your car back," wanting to talk to her alone. There were some things they needed to clear up.
Willow sighed again looking defeated, "Ok." Then handed Rex the keys.
Willow was silent as John started the car and they drove off. Deep in thought about what she was going to say. She wondered if she should tell them everything, if she could even. That part of her life was extremely painful to talk about which was why she only wanted to do it once.
After about 30 minutes of silence John finally spoke.
"Will, I saw what happened at the grave. I heard what you said." John said gently, but firmly. "I know you want to go after this guy but you need to let the police handle it."
"The police!" Willow snorted, "No offense but the police haven't done anything to help so far. I don't have much faith in them now." She looked at John with a hard expression, "I will find this guy and when I do I will kill him!" she said suppressed rage in her voice."
"Willow you can't go around threatening to kill people in front of me." John said with a slight smile despite the seriousness of the conversation. "You have to let us handle it, whether you trust the cops or not."
Realizing she had hurt his feelings again, "I know you are a good cop John, but you have just as much of a stake in this as I do. Can you be objective knowing this guy shot you, killed Caitlyn, and strangled Natalie?" She asked, then stated, "You want this guys blood just as much as I do!"
"You don't have to do this, Will. We will find him and he will pay." John said, but a part of him knew she was right. He did want to kill the guy. He wanted to wrap his hands around his throat and squeeze till there wasn't a breath left in the scumbag's body. But he had to follow the law, he couldn't go around killing killers as much as he would like to.
Willow nodded like she agreed but kept silent. No matter what John said she was going to find this guy and when she did she was going to kill him. He had done too much to her and those she loved. If she didn't deal with him she would regret it the rest of her life. She also knew if she did get him she would probably spend the rest of her life in prison. She had to distance her self from everyone, that way they wouldn't be so hurt when she was gone.
In the other car Natalie and Rex were having a conversation of their own. "So, How are things with you and John?" Rex asked casually. Though what he really wanted to talk about was if Willow had mentioned him to her or John. He also wanted to know exactly why Willow had been obviously crying at that cemetery. John hadn't told him much when he had called looking for Willow.
"John and I are great. But that's not what you want to talk about is it? Come on Rex I know you. Just ask what you want." Natalie said with a small smile. Rex was digging for information, she knew it and he knew it.
"Ok, fine. Just what the hell is going on? Why was Willow in the middle of a cemetery and Why was she crying. Willow never cries. Who is Darren James?" Rex wanted to know.
"I don't know much Rex." Natalie said. She really didn't want to be the one to tell Rex that Willow had been in love with Darren James and probably still was.
"So tell me what you." Rex demanded sensing Natalie didn't want to tell him. "Nat, I think I am falling in love with her. I need to know." He said softly.
Natalie nodded like she had already known that, and indeed she had she could tell the signs, then sighed, Rex was her brother and she didn't want him to be hurt by what she said but she had to tell him.
"Ok, Rex. What I know is the killer sent a engagement ring to John. John thought it was to warn him that the killer knew we were engaged and that he was going to come after me," she said pausing to look at Rex. The next part would be harder.
Rex nodded. That made sense. He motioned for her to go on, and said, "I'm following so far."
"John called me in and told me about it and convinced me to get body guards and then called Willow to come down to convince her to get bodyguards as well. She came down and everything was going fine, John actually convinced her, then John told her about the ring and explained what he thought it meant." Looking over at Rex to see if he was still following her, Natalie shivered thinking about the rest of what happened. Willow had really scared her. Vicki, John, and Willow were the strongest people she knew and it was freaky to see Willow react that way.
"Go on," Rex urged after Natalie was silent for a minute.
"When John actually show her the ring willow freaked out and started saying that everything that the killer had done, shooting John and Caitlyn and strangling me was all her fault. She told John to show her of the music boxes and when she saw it she was convinced everything was her fault. Kept telling John not to touch her and mumbling that she was sorry. She said because of what she did people died."
"What did she do?" he asked.
"I don't know. She didn't say." Natalie said worriedly. She wondered that her self. "Willow will have to tell us when we get to Lanview."
"But I still don't understand why the ring would set her off like that." Rex said confused. "Did she say?"
"She said she had seen the ring 6 and ½ years ago. When Darren proposed to her. She said Darren's throat was cut and she was shot in the back." Natalie explained to a stunned and horrified Rex reaching out to give his hand a gentle squeeze.
"Oh my GOD," Rex burst out shaking off her hand to run it through his hair in an agitated manor, "no wonder she is so scared to get into a relationship. What do I do? How can I help her?"
"I don't think there is anything you can do but be there for her when she needs you. I know she cares a lot about you but she has to heal before she can move forward with her life. Frankly I'm concerned with what else she has to tell us. If it is any where near as bad as I think it will be she will need all the support she can get." Natalie said in a concerned voice.
Rex nodded, but was quiet. He would do anything he could to help her get through all this. Both Natalie and Rex were quiet the rest of the way back to Lanview.