Hi, this is what happens during math when I'm bored and hyper and my friend Jessie ( who is now the Phantom of Randomness Muse, cuz she wanted a name) says, "Scientific evidence has proven that the world does in fact revolve around me." I wish I owned that quote. I don't.

So after consulting myself, and the few people who come visit me, I decided that this sounded like something that would probably be in Hitch-hikers Guide-I don't own that either. So, enjoy.

The World does in Fact Revolve Around Me

Some scientists (or philosophers) believe (or have come to some kind of conclusion) that the world/galaxy/universe does in fact revolve around Me; a point billions and billions and billions and billions... of miles away. Me is basically and extremely large roundabout. All of the stray matter and galaxies in the universe (and the universe itself) revolve around this unknown object. It has however, a very rude personality (and a rather volatile temper). So we (the universe) are trying to move away from it. The progress is slow though because if Me notices, it will throw a very loud tantrum.

This is also the cause of the idea that the world revolves around us, or more singularly, 'me.' God said something about Me in passing to Adam and gave him (and all of his other 'Adams') the wrong idea, resulting in rather inflated egos. That's why Adam ate the Apple. He got the idea that since the world apparently revolved around him, the rules didn't apply, so he wouldn't die if he ate the fruit.

God had to have a talk to him about that. In this conversation he mentioned that if the world did revolve around either of the first creations, it would be Eve; since Me was, in fact, female, and certainly had the temperament of one during PMS. Why did he invent PMS? And perhaps he shouldn't have said -that. Yes, definitely the wrong thing to say...chocolates...or maybe roses were in order. Adam had a girl, what did he think? God then left Adam to himself (BIG mistake).

This brings several things into question. Why were chocolates or roses in order? What did God say? Was God dating Me, and if so, is Me a planet, roundabout, or perhaps the traffic cop? Is God still dating Me, or is he now interested in Her? Who is Her? And where does Mary come into it all? Is Mary Her? And how does Jesus feel about all of this?

We were lucky enough to interview Jesus moments before the humans of earth attempted to crucify him:

Interviewer: So, Jesus, does Me exist?

Jesus: Yes, Mary and I send cards on every holiday and she sends a rather interesting -tree- on my birthday.

Interviewer: Mary, your mother?

Jesus: Mary Magdoline a ...friend of the family.

Interviewer: Right. So, how does Me feel about your mother?

Jesus: I don't know what you mean. (rather pointedly)

Interviewer: Oh, well, um how's your father?

Jesus: He's doing very well. He's working in another galaxy at the moment.

Interviewer: Well what does he think about that knew book, Does God Exist?

Jesus: I'm afraid you'll have to ask him, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for an appointment with Pontious Pilat.

Interviewer: Oh, sorry. See you later Jesus.

Jesus: Goodbye.