Title: A Little Respect
Author: Misty Flores
Teaser: Pursuing a relationship with Aiden after discovering Bianca in bed with Babe, Maggie begins to question even her own self worth when she finds herself delving deeper into a baby kidnapping mystery, and an intense love triangle.
PART NINETEEN
I've been made blue
I've been lied to
When will I be Loved?
I've been turned down
I've been pushed 'round
When will I be Loved?
-- When Will I Be Loved, The Everly Brothers
Every single inch of her was overwhelmed with so much feeling Maggie was really afraid that she was about to explode.
It came together in a maelstrom of emotion blurring together: lust, love, hate, anger, sorrow, joy- seared and branded and so burnt into her soul she had no idea how to sort them out, how to make sense of anything.
Instead her brain focused on her rapid breathing, on the dazed look of Bianca's face, the swollen mouth, and the tingling on her own that had her licking her lips, fumbling for purchase as she stumbled away, stepping back from whatever demon that had just taken over.
Bianca had kissed her. She had kissed Bianca. Not innocent pecks, not soft barely there flutters that could have been thrown away to the heat of the moment. No, there had been tongues and mouths and straddling and hands in unexpected places, and Maggie KNEW, she KNEW, that if she hadn't stopped it when she did, it would have gone much further.
So much further.
She shuddered erratically, rubbing at her arms, waiting in the deafening silence for Bianca to explain how the hell this had happened, how she had once again taken whatever comfort and safety she offered to her and decimated it, shattered it to pieces
There was a deafening moment of silence, enough for Maggie to be overcome with a wave of dejavu, enough to remember the champagne incident. Enough to become really and truly pissed.
When Bianca began to stammer, Maggie had had enough.
"What?" she suddenly snarled, breathless and scared, "Did you lose it for a second? Confuse me for Frankie again? Fall back onto bad habits-"
"NO!" Bianca pushed off the couch and immediately, Maggie stepped back, eyes suddenly stinging with tears, breath panting. "Maggie, that's not what this is-"
"No?" she repeated, tone hard, angry, as Maggie pushed palms against her face, felt warm and feverish, and still, her heart wouldn't stop beating so harshly, as she whirled and suddenly found Aiden's discarded shirt, left forgotten on her desk. And the guilt came and invaded everything else, and Maggie found herself groaning, sinking down, burying her face in her hands. "I keep doing this to him - I keep trashing him-"
"Maggie-"
"Don't touch me," she snapped, jerking away from Bianca's hesitant touch, eyes opening and narrowing as she took in her beautiful best friend, who came in with her stupid flower and her stupid smile and tore down every protective brick Maggie had build for THIS VERY REASON.
She took in a haggard breath, trying hard to calm herself down, wrapping arms around herself as she kept her gaze on the floor. "Just tell me what that was," she finally managed, in this low, desperate tone.
A pause, and then her eyes fluttered closed, as Bianca's answer ripped through her. "Maggie- it's exactly what I said it was before I did it," she heard, from a gentle, easy tone. "I'm in love with you, and I guess I got carried away-"
"Stop," she said, shaking her head fervently, "Don't tell me that."
"I know you're surprised, Maggie. It's a shock to me too-"
"Oh, please."
"Things have been so confusing." A short, bitter chuckle ripped out of her throat, as Maggie wiped desperate tears from her eyes and stumbled to her feet, moving away from Bianca, trying to ignore her best friend who stood beseechingly next to the couch. "And I guess that it made it impossible for me to see how I feel for you-"
"Right-" Maggie snapped, shuddering as she looked at Bianca, who had the nerve to look so hurt and vulnerable, like what Maggie could say had any affect on her. "Tell me, Bianca - how did Lena feel when you told her about all these confusing thoughts?"
She could see a gulp visibly bob its way down Bianca's throat. "That's just it, Maggie - Lena and I..." She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to hear it. "Lena and I aren't together anymore."
She shook her head, the chill going down her spine and riding up it like a wave, setting her heart beating even faster and the pit in her stomach even deeper. "I don't believe it-"
"It's the truth." Bianca's tone had a hint of anger in it now, her sincerity making her cheeks flush, tinge red with emotion. "We broke up earlier tonight, and I knew I had to see you-"
"So what? Then you knew I'd jump in your arms? Like some willing standby girlfriend?"
"No! Maggie that's not what happened here." Bianca came forward, tried to touch her, and Maggie couldn't let her. Not right now. She couldn't trust herself to allow one digit of Bianca to touch her highly sensitized flesh, already she felt overheated and flushed and ready to go insane. Bianca wavered, swallowed, sighed. "Maggie, what happened has been coming for a long time. It was beautiful and intense, and I know you felt that, too-"
Maggie couldn't get past Lena. Couldn't get past Bianca's phrasing, and almost as if her brain was searching for ways to deny this, she latched onto a thought.
"Who broke up with who?"
Bianca blinked, obviously thrown by the quiet interjection. "What?"
"Who broke up with who?" Maggie enunciated, arms crossed, voice like flint. "Did you call her up? Tell her that Maggie suddenly rocked your world?"
"Maggie, I don't see how that's relevant-"
"Trust me," she snapped, cutting her off. "It's very relevant. Who did it? Who started it?"
Bianca looked confused, eyes shifting away from her, voice gone dizzy from her the direct questioning. "It... It -"
"What?"
"It was mutual," Bianca managed.
"I don't buy that," Maggie said. "One of you must have started it. So who said the words, Bianca?"
"Maggie, I don't see-"
"Just answer the fucking question, Bianca!" Her sentence ended in a shout, and it threw Bianca off, caused her beautiful best friend to finally shut her mouth, the indecision flitting off her face as watery eyes met with hers.
"She did," she said slowly, thickly. "She gave me an ultimatum and I didn't take it."
"What was it?"
"Maggie-"
"What.Was.IT."
Bianca's hands tangled together, digits holding on to each other, a sign of anxious frustration. "She told me to get on a plane to Poland tonight."
"And of course you couldn't do that."
"No, I couldn't-"
"Because that would have meant committing to something."
"NO! Maggie, it doesn't change things, it doesn't change the way I feel-"
"Bullshit," Maggie breathed, suddenly wiping at her eyes, furious at herself for letting even this much show. "Face it, Bianca, if it wasn't for Lena and her finally growing a spine you wouldn't be here right now. You would have dropped off your letter and taken off to Florida because you still had someone." Maggie's heart was rapidly growing hard, increasingly numb to the number of ways Bianca could hurt her. "You didn't love me then, and you don't love me now."
--
At night, the hospital was alien in its starkness.
Aiden had spent enough time in these walls to grow almost comfortable in the plastic chairs, and as he shifted, curved his spine along the molded hardness, he was slightly disturbed by the fact.
Anita, the beautiful brunette with the kindest eyes he had ever seen, offered him a tired, tight smile, as she pressed a coffee into his palms, accepting his thanks with a nod, and sinking down beside him, holding her own steaming cup to her nose, taking in the cheap aroma with a grimace.
"You don't have to wait with me," she told him in a low tone. "It'll be another few hours yet."
"No, I'd rather wait," he assured her, blinking away the sleepiness as best he could. "I know Maggie's anxious about these results, and I'd rather come home with some sort of answer for her. Maybe it'll cheer her up, I don't know."
"She's upset."
"Yeah," he said, bobbing his head automatically. "Couldn't get it out of her this morning. One thing about Maggie, she's got all this pain, and she keeps it all inside." Aiden licked his lips, rubbing roughly at his chest, heart suddenly shuddering at Maggie and all the pain she locked away. "To get it out of her I have to work hard, pull every trick I have out of me-" He managed a tiny smile. "She's harder to crack than any criminal."
Anita smiled weakly back at him. "I suppose it doesn't help that you love her."
The way she said it struck a twinge inside Aiden, and suddenly he winced, eyes flickering down to her bare, ringless finger. "Bloody hell, Anita - I'm sorry-" Going on and on about his Maggie, and Anita on the evening of her divorce-
"No, it's fine." Anita's gaze was on her coffee, as she twisted the Styrofoam cup in her fingertips, watching the liquid swirl. "The way you talk about her - it... it answers a lot of questions."
He blinked, momentarily confused. "What questions?"
She hesitated, and he leaned forward, ready to pry out her obvious distress when she glanced up, suddenly staring at him with dark, honest eyes. "Bobby told me that the reason I was divorcing him was because of you. Because of my feelings for you."
The words, he was ashamed to say, still affected him, but Aiden was good enough to do nothing but furrow his brow deep, taking in a deep, affecting breath and wait Anita out, as she searched his eyes, his face, for any indication as to what he was thinking, feeling.
"He told me you had feelings for me, Aiden. Is that true?"
There was a curious dryness in his throat, as Aiden felt the reminiscence of his empty feelings, a small spark because he was, after all, a man, and Anita was a beautiful woman.
But Maggie remained in his thoughts and his heart, and he tightened his smile, taking in a hesitant rush of air to begin-
"I'm sorry," Anita interrupted, before he had a chance to try and answer. "That was unfair of me to ask. It's not any of my business."
He smiled grimly, shifting his large hands in his lap, around his cup of horrible hospital coffee, blowing out his breath.
"You're right," he said frankly, but he widened his smile into a gentle one. "But I'll be honest with you, it's what you deserve."
Anita's brown eyes were always engaging. Dark and luminous.
"I had feelings for you, Anita. But you were married, and I've moved on."
"With Maggie," Anita finished, tone trembling slightly, nodding mechanically. "I know. I see it. The way you look at her." A rush of heat beat his cheeks, and he glanced back down at his lap, like a sheepish school boy. "I hope Maggie realizes just how lucky she is."
He bit his lower lip, kept his gaze on his coffee, as his insecurity betrayed himself in the small splatter of coffee that dripped from his suddenly tilted cup, making him hiss in sudden pain.
He didn't say it, but he silently agreed.
--
Oh, God.
Bianca had imagined this moment years ago, back when she was able to admit to herself that Maggie was who she wanted. In her dreams, it had always gone over perfectly. Mutual declarations, hearts and flowers and breathless kisses in vivid Technicolor and surround sound. Teenage professions of love, together forever and going steady.
It had never been ugly. It had never been bruising. It had never been frightening.
Everything was all wrong, and Bianca's heart was trapped in her throat, mangling her words, muddling her thoughts, as her feelings lay bare and open and new even to herself, while Maggie stomped on them, like they meant nothing.
She pushed past the hurt, tried hard to see instead Maggie's anguish, Maggie's fear and desperation, look toward to the end where she could finally make Maggie believe and they could be together.
She had to get there - she had to hope it would happen.
"Maggie..." she began thickly, pushing into the side of her head with her palm, as if trying to contain her thoughts, make them make sense. "Look, it was all screwed up before - I couldn't think, I was afraid of opening up and hurting all over again. And maybe I took the long way around to figuring it out, but it doesn't make my feelings any less real. Any less true."
Maggie's eyes were shut, like she was trying to keep her out, and when her beautiful Maggie gave a delicate shudder, Bianca felt a jolt of hope.
"Maggie," she whispered, "Maggie, are you scared of what it would mean if we were together? Is that what this is about?"
Maggie's eyes shot open, taking her in with a wide open mouth and accusing eyes. "Bianca, I wanted you," she whispered roughly. "I did. I won't deny it. But you could only see Lena. She was all you wanted, and now I have Aiden."
She literally blanched at the name, snapping her head back as if struck.
"Is he just supposed to disappear?" Maggie continued, whispering brokenly. "I'm with him. I love him. We're happy together, and just because you suddenly decide-"
"Okay..." Bianca whispered, gentle, careful as she could be. She was dealing with a fragile heart, a fragile soul, a heart she had broken herself, and now had to try to put back together. "And what about the feelings you said you had for me? The ones you can't deny? I felt them, Maggie - I felt it in your kiss. And I know you felt it too, in the way I touched you. Can you just ignore that. Can you turn it off?" She was closer now, closer enough to touch, but she kept her distance, as small as it was, trying hard to at least respect Maggie's scared sensibilities. "Can you throw them away, Maggie? Because I know for sure that I can't. I tried, and here I am, in love with you, like a carousel, back to you. And I know we can have something, Maggie." Tentatively, she reached forward, skimmed across Maggie's cheek, felt a spike of unexpected hope when Maggie's eyes closed, and her lips parted, exhaling raggedly. "We can't stop this, Maggie. We can't fight it. Please tell me that you feel it too."
Maggie's eyes opened, jeweled brilliance streaked with heartbreak and fighting hesitation. "You didn't want me..." she managed brokenly. "You wanted Frankie, you wanted Lena-"
"I want you," Bianca said, so firmly, so honestly. "I want you so badly, Maggie. I want you because you're beautiful and smart and funny and God..." she swallowed, overcome with feeling as Maggie tilted into her touch. "I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you."
She was closer still, another hand gently smoothing up Maggie's shoulders, as gently as if she were touching a wild animal, working through the sweaty mane of Maggie's light brown locks, and Bianca bit her lip, watching the beautiful face as it struggled with feeling.
"I love you, Maggie," she whispered, lowering her head until her words were breathed against Maggie's, as she sucked in Maggie's essence, a whisper of touch against her lips. "I know you love me. We love each other, and it's bigger than you and Aiden, it's bigger than Lena and me. And we can take it. We can be together, we can be happy. Please, Maggie. Don't be afraid - trust me. Trust me to show you how much I can love you, how happy we can be."
Maggie's moan was audible, forehead tilted against Bianca's cheek, until their mouths met in a precious, gentle kiss. Bianca nearly cried in relief, reverently cupping Maggie's face in her palms, keeping her lips on hers for another taste.
Breaking apart, she kept her eyes closed, smoothing her cheek against Maggie's, nuzzling her skin. "I love you."
There was another slice of heaven, a few seconds of doing nothing but feeling, until Maggie broke contact, leaning back, causing Bianca to open her eyes, discover an unreadable expression, a dark, dark gaze.
"Prove it."
Bianca swallowed, but immediately nodded, managing a relieved smile. "Anything."
"Stay here," Maggie told her simply. "Don't go to Florida tonight. Stay here with me."
--
"So what happens if this test comes out positive?"
Aiden lifted his head, pausing in the middle of trying to massage the crook out of his neck, eyeing his friend with a grimace. "When."
"When," she said, accepting the correction with a smirk of her own. "When this test comes out positive?"
"Then I take it to Florida," he told her, glancing down at his wrist, pushing back his leather cuff to inspect the time. "Show the proof to Bianca and Erica Kane - to the Chandlers, get a legal test done and arrest Babe Chandler and everyone else who had a hand in this."
Anita considered that, taking in a ragged breath as she swallowed. "That's a lot of pressure to put on a gal, Aiden."
He smiled. "I wouldn't do it if I didn't think you couldn't handle it."
She rolled her eyes, ready to respond when the buzzing of his phone interrupted her before she could. Smiling apologetically, he reached into his pocket, flipping open the little contraption to study the caller ID.
ANNA, it blinked at him.
With a sudden suck of breath, he pressed the answer button, bringing it to his ear. "Anna!"
"Aiden, thank goodness."
"What is it!" he asked sharply. "What's wrong! Did the doctor-"
"Aiden- calm down! I'm fine!"
He blinked, the relief nearly overwhelming. "Why the bloody hell did you scare me like that!"
"I'm not calling for you, you silly bint. Is Maggie with you? She's not picking up her phone."
The turn of the conversation was confusing. "No, she's at home, studying. Why?"
"Aiden... tell me you remembered."
He shook his head, unsure where this was going. "Remembered what?"
"Today, Aiden. Today is the anniversary of her twin sister's death. The one that brought her to that god-forsaken town in the first place! The one who was killed by the woman who nearly killed Maggie as well!"
And suddenly, it all came pounding into him, the memories of Maggie and Frankie, and the death, and Good-Lord it all made sense now-
He sucked in his breath, eyes shutting tight, banging his fist against his temple. "SHIT."
"Aiden, get your ass home and be with your girlfriend. Now."
"I'm on my way," he snapped, shutting down the phone, already out of his seat. When Anita looked at him, open concern on her face, he managed through the lump in his throat, "I completely forgot about today being- Maggie's sister, she was killed today, four years ago."
"Oh, God..." Anita whispered.
"I have to go-"
"Yes, go!" Anita was already shooing him away. "Ill call you with the results."
He smiled gratefully. "Thank you."
He didn't wait for a response, already moving as fast as he could for the hospital doors.
--
The euphoria that had filled her was now shut down, as if a sheet of ice water had drenched her, and Bianca was left sputtering, in complete and utter shock.
"What?" she managed, heart shuddering in her chest, blinking, arms dropping. "Maggie, how can you even ask me that?"
"I feel like I have every right to ask you that," Maggie said frankly.
Bianca blinked, shaking her head now, at the edge of an abyss, her heart ripping inside of her as she took in what Maggie had asked her to do - what Maggie actually thought was feasible that she could actually DO.
"Maggie... you know, you KNOW how much I care about that little girl. You were the only one I told-"
"I know."
"You can't ask me that!"
Maggie was coming forward, sliding hands in hers, and this time, it was Bianca who was stepping away from her, jerking her hands out of hers. "Bianca - Bianca! Can't you see that Bess belongs here!"
She sucked in her breath, shaking the damning words out of her head, unable to take that it was Maggie telling her these things - like a devil perched on her shoulder.
"Stop it," she begged, her tone flint. "Stop saying that. Bess belongs with her mother-"
"YES, YES, Bianca, she does!" Maggie's eyes were moist and full, and Bianca's dry throat, bruised heart, could only take so much pleading, as she shuddered against Maggie's words, Maggie's fingers on her, trying to reel her in.
"What are you trying to say!" she breathed. "That I should usurp Babe's place? Take away her mother's right just because you feel like I should! Do you think I'm crazy enough to steal that baby again?"
Her voice was rising, and as it did, Bianca realized just how angry she was, how her heart was hardening, almost against her will, in complete instinct, because raw and bleeding, the decision would have crumbled her.
"No-" Maggie grabbed hold, and Bianca tried to shake her off, tried to hard to keep Maggie's words out of her head. "Bianca, I'm not saying you're crazy. I know you love her. That's why I need you to trust me-"
"I can't believe you would think I would even consider-"
"Bianca, listen to me-" Jerking her around, Bianca was held loose, like a puppet, as Maggie now held palms to her face, jerking her eyes down to her level, forcing her to see her in the face. "Listen to me - I love you. I love you so much, Bianca, and I just want to help you-"
"Let me go-"
"Bianca, Bess is Miranda."
The words slid into her gut like a knife, blowing the air out of her, and already building up her wall, Bianca couldn't downshift fast enough to truly absorb them. Instead, she recoiled like an animal stung, shaking away the hurtful words, her love for Maggie crumbling under the weight of the pain Maggie was inflicting upon her.
"How could you?" she whispered, in a tone so low it was barely above a whisper. "How could you say something like that!"
"It's the truth! Bianca, I didn't want to tell you before, because I knew you'd have a hard time with it!"
"Stop it! Just shut up!" Already, she was backpeddling, shaking Maggie off, tears blurring her vision as she headed for the door, trying hard to escape this - escape this heaven and hell that burned and seared her. "I didn't think you'd ever hurt me like this-"
"Bianca, please! Stay here! Talk to me-" Tears stained Maggie's voice, but Bianca couldn't hear them. Her panic was pounding in her ears and she nearly crumpled with the voices in her head, the ghost of her child screaming out for protection, and Bianca stumbled toward it, unable to see Maggie anymore, not daring to, not wanting to.
"Bianca, I LOVE YOU."
She froze, fingers twitching, and shaking the her head, Bianca wiped her tears desperately from her face, and kept going, slamming the door between them, blocking her from Maggie's professions of love.
--
He opened the door hesitantly, careful as he stepped into their shared apartment, trying hard to keep this place sacred.
In his hands, the cellophane holding his flowers together crumpled, making noise, and Aiden sucked in his breath, careful as he eyed the unmoving form on the couch.
"Maggie?"
Heart trembling oddly, Aiden was gentle as he moved forward, placing his flowers on the coffeetable, one hand on Maggie's shuddering form.
She was crying.
Aiden sucked in his breath, careful as he knelt on the carpet, reaching forward to cup Maggie's tearstained face. "Oh, Maggie..."
She looked at him with such empty eyes, and it broke him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered haggardly, voice suddenly husky with emotion. "I should have been here with you. I'm sorry I didn't remember-"
She was staring at him with that frightening look, and he waited with bated breath, hands gentle over her scalp, tender and loving and scared.
Maggie rasped hard and suddenly wrapped her arms around his, pulling him closer. Aiden shut his eyes tight, and gathered the tiny form to him, let his beautiful girl cry in his arms, weep for all her loss, for the emotion she carried inside of her.
"I love you," he murmured against her crown. "I do."
She didn't respond, but she sobbed herself to sleep in his lap, clutching to him so tightly, Aiden wondered if she would ever let go.
He didn't mind if she never did.
end chapter
coming soon
Kendall tattles to Erica, who takes it upon herself to get through to Bianca's thick skull. Aiden and Maggie get the test results but have a harder time trying to get to Florida, and Bianca finally has an 'oh shit' moment of clarity.