SUMMARY: Hermione looses her two best friends in the war against Voldemort. Because of this, she becomes depressed and flees from the world she loves. To London she goes and chooses to live as a muggle. Six years pass. Hermione slowly begins to forget how to use magic. Will the staff of Hogwarts be able to teach her again before the damage becomes permanent?
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter.
PAIRINGS: Hermione Granger, Severus Snape (eventually); Rated M
A/N: Thank you to iloveseverussnape, Katyes, KieraLee, GerryPhanatic, septentrion, mysticpam, Lady Saffron of the Daggers, ConciaJames, hpobsessor, kiwi6498, KellyRoxton, coldqueen, bRaTsKi, Bobby, screwtheperfectlife, Joani, weirdpeopleandthepickle, and SeverusSnape'sLove for your reviews.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Nearly another month had passed.
Christmas was fast approaching, and both Hermione and Snape had decided not to act on their feelings for one another. Of course, we must keep in mind, that neither of them knew about each others emotions or thoughts.
They naturally kept their distance, only saying the occasional hello or good morning. No one seemed to notice at first. But then, Hermione became aware of whispers. Not from the staff, but from the students.
Apparently, they believed something was going on between her and Snape. They believed they were an item. Them being apart so much, clearly gave the impression of a couple's fight or argument.
Hermione knew it was nothing of the sort. She wasn't sure if Snape noticed. Dumbledore, however, did notice. The children's murmurs had even reached the Headmaster's ears. And he was determined to get to the bottom of it...
"Ah, Hermione. Severus. Please sit down," instructed Dumbledore, peering at them through his small framed glasses. Hermione made the first move to sit. Snape followed suit.
"Do you know why we're here," Hermione asked Snape in a small whisper as she took her seat. Snape shook his head no. He was as baffled as she.
"You are here," started Dumbledore, "because you two have been avoiding each other."
"Excuse me," asked Snape.
"You and Hermione have been very distant lately," said Dumbledore. "I simply wish to know why?"
"Distant?" asked Hermione, pretending to be confused. "Sir, why would you think that?"
Hermione knew perfectly well why he would think that. Her and Snape had been detached from one another. She had only heard from him once since she had made the Poly Juice Potion.
Snape instructed her to make a Calming Draught. Hermione found the directions very easy to follow. However, she did manage to make plenty of mistakes, by accident of course.
Hermione could feel Snape watching her as she prepared the potion. And, she often met his eyes. That action only caused her to spill various ingredients and break numerous vials. She had never been so embarrassed.
Once completed, Hermione never heard from Snape again to establish a time for her next potion project and he made no effort to assign one. And for a good reason. Hermione knew the reason behind it. She could see it in his eyes, for Hermione had seen enough of them.
Dumbledore couldn't possibly know...could he?
"Hermione, you have been showing great progress in you work." Dumbledore smiled. "Your skills are almost back. I am very pleased. However," his smiled faded, "the work you have been excelling in, does not include potions." Hermione swallowed. "I understand you have not been practicing."
"Well...well, I've been-"
"And Severus," Dumbledore cut Hermione off, "you have not been making an effort to even try to teach her."
"Headmaster-"
"Why," Dumbledore asked simply. "There is most certainly something wrong. What is it? What is the problem between you two?"
"There is no problem, Professor," said Hermione, trying desperately to believe her own words.
"Are you sure?" He turned to Snape.
"Headmaster," said Snape, "I have been rather...overwhelmed."
He's overwhelmed..., thought Hermione.
"Overwhelmed, Severus," asked Dumbledore.
"With my other students, sir," replied Snape casually. "They require an extreme amount of attention. I knew I would have to cut my lesson with Ms. Granger short because of it. She had no problem with it."
I what!
"Well, I had no idea your students were such-"
"Can I talk to you outside," interrupted Hermione. She had turned completely around in her chair, facing Snape in a less than friendly way.
"What-"
"I want to talk to you outside," she repeated. Snape didn't make a move. "If I have to drag you there I will." Hermione stood from her chair and made her exit.
Snape opened his mouth to speak to Dumbledore, but Hermione's voice cut him off in the distance.
"Now would be lovely, Professor," she screamed. Snape reluctantly joined her outside of Dumbledore's office, closing the door behind him. When he arrived, she had her arms crossed and was tapping her right foot on the floor.
"Problem, Ms. Granger?"
"I can't believe you just lied to him," answered Hermione. "Everyone knows you have the most well behaved students in this castle. Well, except for Joyner and Steele, but they don't count. I'm convinced they were born hooligans."
"Your point would be?"
"My point is," she said through tightly clenched teeth, "I want..." She trailed off. What did she want?
"You want, what?"
Hermione knew what she wanted.
"I want to know why you kissed me." Hermione was breaking every rule she had set for herself. She promised she would never say anything about it. Snape made the same promise. He was taken aback by her words.
"I mean, that's why we're avoiding each other isn't it? That's why we haven't spoken. That's why I haven't made a potion in how many months now, two I think. There must be a reason behind it." She sighed heavily. "Why did you kiss me that night?"
Snape didn't know what to say. He was unsure of his answer. He didn't know why he kissed her at the ball. He didn't know why he wanted to kiss her when she was trying her best to prepare the Calming Draught he assigned her last. And he most certainly didn't know why he wanted to kiss her now...
"Would you say something," asked Hermione. "Your silence is killing me..."
"Why did you let me kiss you?"
"What?" Hermione was not expecting this.
"Why did you let me kiss you," he asked again. Snape felt like toying with her for a bit. It would take some of the pressure off him.
"What kind of person answers a question with a question? You're not turning this around on me, Professor Snape," she said. "I asked you first."
"And I asked you second," was his reply. "Why did you let me kiss you?"
"I don't know." She lied.
"You must know, Ms. Granger." He approached her. Hermione did not move. "There must be a reason behind it," he said, throwing her own words back at her.
"I'm sure somewhere deep inside I do know," she said, "just like somewhere deep inside you, you know why you kissed me." Hermione wasn't going to let him off the hook. She was determined to get an answer out of him.
Snape cocked his head to the side. Her words were like poetry to his ears.
"If I were to kiss you again," he said, "what would you do?"
"I'm sorry, what?" Had she heard him correctly?
"You heard me, Ms. Granger." Hermione swallowed. Her mouth suddenly became very, very dry.
"Um...why...why would you kiss me again?"
"Just a thought," he said plainly.
"Just a thought? What does that mean?"
"It means, I've thought about it," he replied.
"You have..." Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing. She must be dreaming (Note to Readers: This is not a dream!).
"This is ridiculous. No, this is insane. No, actually, this is more deranged and unreal." She put her face in her hands. "You shouldn't think about kissing me..." She laughed lightly to herself. "I shouldn't think that either..."
"You think that?"
Why did I say that, she screamed to herself. Hermione sighed in defeat. It was time to tell him. But she didn't want to tell him. Oh, how she prayed Dumbledore would interrupt them once more.
"It's now or never I suppose," she said softly. She took a step toward him. "I'm sure you remember when I brewed that potion to cure boils and the little...incident afterward. Now, I know we promised never to mention it again, but I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. It was an accident. I never meant for it to happen. But, for some reason, I can't forget.
"And to make matters worse, you come along and for whatever reason, you decide to kiss me. And to make things even more complicated, I allow you to. I don't know if you kissed me to some how even the score, which is absolutely ridiculous by the way. I...I don't know why you did it. I don't know why I let you do it.
"These past months has been very hectic for me, very confusing. It's amazing I still have a brain left. I don't know about you, but I'm almost positive I have suffered all kinds of psychological damage."
"Are you finished?" Snape finally got a sentence in. Hermione had been speaking a mile a minute. She hardly paused. It was remarkable that she had any breath remaining.
"I think so..."
"Are you sure," he asked.
"Yes."
"How sweet," said a voice above their heads. Both Hermione and Snape looked up and saw Hogwarts infamous mischievous maker.
"Peeves," said Snape. He gave an annoyed sigh. "Do you mind?"
"Aren't you going to kiss," asked Peeves, very curiously.
"This is a private conversation," said Hermione just as annoyed as Snape.
"So, you are going to kiss," asked Peeves again.
"We are not going to kiss, Peeves," said Snape.
"Why not," asked Peeves.
"Because," replied Snape. He felt like strangling the more than troublesome poltergeist.
"Perhaps you need a little push in the right direction, Professor." Peeves took the liberty of shoving Snape into Hermione. She automatically lost her balance, Snape falling with her to the floor, having the wind knocked out of them both. "That should do the trick," laughed Peeves before he disappeared into the wall.
Hermione and Snape look at each other an extra moment more before they speak.
"Are you all right," asked Snape.
"Um, I should be fine," she said. "That is, when you get off of me." She smiled.
"Oh, right..." Snape rolled to the side and pulled himself to his feet. He extended his arm and Hermione took his hand. Snape was very strong. He pulled her to her feet, swiftly, with little effort, causing her to lightly tumble into his chest.
"Thank you," she said softly. Hermione noticed that Snape was staring at her. His black orbs seemed to be penetrating through her soul. "What?"
"Do you remember that thought I spoke of earlier?"
"Yes...I remember...vaguely."
"Vaguely," he asked. "Shall I refresh your memory?"
"Excuse me," she said. "Here? With Dumbledore...in there," she pointed to his office. "I don't think-"
"That's your problem," he said. "You think to much..." And with those last words, Snape bent his head and...
"Hermione? Severus?" It was Dumbledore. They pulled apart immediately, when they heard his voice.
"Coming, Headmaster." Snape shook his head clean of all thought and entered Dumbledore's office. Hermione stayed behind a few seconds.
"He's right," she said, pausing at the door, "I do think to much."
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