"Beautiful Desire"
By: Princess Sassafras
Notes: Nightcrawler/Storm. My first X-men fic, and I KNEW it would be with these two when I decided to write it. I LOVE Nightcrawler! He's my sweet blue boy.
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There have been too many sins since my inauguration, since I became part of the X-men, the protectors of the peace and of our kind. But there had been some before, and never have I risked sin for a better cause than I do now. I had never known our kind. I grew up a devil among men, feared and hated, and my heart rebelled against it. I regressed into celibacy from a life I did not even comprehend. It was too bright and frightening to comprehend. Food, lights, music, and women dancing... Quick glimpses through chinks in dank walls were all I allowed myself. I kept my vigils with candles for warmth, with the rain on the beaten chapel roof for music, and with the blessed Mary—the Mutter Gottes—as my lady.
I remember the first time I saw her eyes looking back at me from someone's face. Not a statue or a mural but a real, breathing entity.
Two women came to the street-broken chapel looking for me, and I was guilty of a crime. I was already deep in repentance, and full of grief. So soon came forgiveness, blessed forgiveness. Then came my discipleship. My inauguration, my salvation. To fight the true fight—for that unnamable cause—with the disciples of one called Professor X.
Such a creature as I am should not be allowed the pleasures I have been shown since that day when the women came to me with questions—one 'Gene'… and 'Storm,' the dark woman named Ororo. Since then I have faced new temptations each day, but in a form that I am unused to. Tortures I have stood, the hatred of men I have born, but never have I desired anything to the point of this madness. I often torture, often despise, myself.
To worship her from afar, I am able, through chinks in the walls. Always, always moving quickly and silently past her door. They are mere glimpses, sweet accidents. I take them on purpose, and then cut the lines across my skin. The first time I saw her brushing her white hair, I drew the lightening symbol on my thigh. It was my most beautiful sin.
I will never be content, living this way, but I will always desire something. And that is what makes us—man and mutant—truly alive.
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IF I'M ENCOURAGED, I MIGHT JUST WRITE MORE X-MEN! Would that be a good thing? Review me!
Princess S.