(October 16, 2005) Yay a new chapter I am so excited. Teehee on monotone no-punctuation sentences.
So, how is everyone? Marvelous? That's excellent. I'm currently writing chapter seven, I believe... I never know where I am in the story... It doesn't really matter when you don't have much of a plan. I think this story might make it up to 10 chapters... 9, at least, I think. Which means I'll probably be posting it for another month and a half at this rate...
Speaking of this rate, I'm sorry I'm posting so slowly... I totally forgot all about posting, since I didn't get some great influx of reviews like I usually do... I think I have about 50 right now... My review ambitions aren't too high for this story... 250 should make me happy, if this rate of reviewingcontinues and I really do end up having nine chapters...
So anyways... No warnings for this chapter, I think it's actually fairly innocent... Amazing...
CHAPTER SAN
Hello. Now Go Away.
Hiei, Kurama, and Kuwabara arrived at Reikai shortly after Hiei had announced that they were going. Koenma was stamping papers and an unusual number of ogres were rushing in and out of his office. Hiei led the way in, straight up to his desk, and slammed his palms down on the surface. Koenma nearly jumped out of his underwear.
"GOD! Hiei! What are you doing here?"
"Shadow's missing."
"What?"
"And Eclipse," Kurama added.
"And Yusuke," Kuwabara said.
"Yusuke's missing!" Koenma cried. Hiei growled. "Er, and Shadow and Eclipse, too?"
"Yes."
"What do you want me to do about it? They probably ran off together! I don't have time--AHHHH!"
Hiei's aura exploded the second Koenma insinuated that Shadow was so disloyal as to ditch him for Yusuke. The toddler was now hiding under his desk. Kurama fished him out and held him by his collar. He poofed into his teenage form so Hiei wasn't so much bigger than him, but was still just as threatened by the fire demon.
"Search for her, stupid," Hiei stated plainly. "And apologize for being such a dick."
"Sorry! I'm sorry! And searching for Shadow, I'm sorry to say, is not my highest priority--AHHHGGGG!"
"WELL MAKE IT YOUR HIGHEST PRIORITY!"
"Jeesh, shorty," Kuwabara said. "Calm down."
"Shut up!"
"Sorry!"
"And you can look for Yusuke too if you want at the same time," Kurama suggested. "Just find the girls. They simply vanished." He snapped his fingers. "Just like that."
"They vanished? But isn't that normal?"
"No," Hiei said. "Not in the middle of the night."
"And they usually come back after not all that long," Kurama added.
"And my Jagan can find them."
"You can't find them with your Jagan?"
"No. So they aren't in Ningenkai."
Koenma sighed. "Fine. I'll look for them. But there have been multiple time warps and disappearances all over the place. So far the only reports have been males, aged anywhere from 14 to centuries old." He returned to his desk as Hiei and Kurama relaxed a bit and started shuffling through papers. He handed a few to each of the two demons. Kuwabara peered over their shoulders.
"Himura Kenshin?" Kurama muttered thoughtfully. "Isn't he...?"
"I know these names," Hiei agreed, pretty much finishing Kurama's thought. "Sagara... Saitou... They were the ones..."
"In that room with us when we were abducted, yes," Kurama finished. "Inuyasha and Miroku and Sesshoumaru..."
"Oh, God... Sesshoumaru..." Hiei muttered.
"He was the one Shadow and Eclipse--"
"Chained themselves to. If this is what I'm thinking it is," Hiei said, handing the papers back to Koenma, "then Shadow's disappearance was an accident, and..."
"They meant to get us."
Kuwabara was staring. "What are you talking about, and would you please stop finishing each others sentences?"
"What?" the two said in unison.
"What do you mean 'if it is what you're thinking it is'?" Koenma asked.
"Remember that time a few years ago that you refused to help Shadow and Eclipse find us?" Kurama asked.
"And they ended up killing some guy to get a time capsule or something?" Hiei added.
"We had been kidnapped by fanatical girls and taken into the year 2010 to be put through the..."
"Ultimate Bishounen Challenges," Hiei spat. Koenma snickered.
"Oh yeah," he chuckled. "That caused a lot of problems in the time-space thing..."
"It also traumatized us," Hiei muttered, "but far be it from you to care."
"So our point is," Kurama pressed on, "if that happened again, sometime in the future of their future..."
"And our future, too," Hiei reminded. "Their future is our future."
"Whatever. So if that happened, and they were kidnapping bishounen again... Perhaps... they somehow got Shadow and Eclipse."
Koenma stared. "But they aren't bishounen."
"Obviously not, but..."
"Do you have pictures of these guys?" Kurama asked. "Eiri Yuki, Hiroshi Nakano, Edward Elrich, and Roy Mustang."
"Yes..." The screen displayed four pictures and Koenma pointed to each one and named them.
"Yes. That's what happened, I would bet anything," Hiei said.
"Those are definitely bishounen," Kurama agreed.
"So are you saying the problem's solved and you can leave me to my work now?" Koenma asked hopefully.
"No, the problem is not solved until I get Shadow back," the fire demon snarled.
"And Eclipse," Kurama added. "Don't forget her."
"Whatever. So we just have to find the time they're in, correct?"
"Yes. How long will that take?"
"A few days to a couple weeks," the toddler muttered.
"WHAT!"
The first face to face encounter with the fanatic girls occured a full day after their capture. The screen fuzzed, then a face appeared.
"Please prepare to meet your wives or wives to be!" she announced.
"What about us!" Shadow and Eclipse called in unison.
"You will be going to the dungeon," the girl said sourly, "where you will be beaten to death."
Shadow shrieked and fell sobbing into Sesshoumaru's arms. Eclipse sniffled.
"I can't die! I've never had sex!"
Shadow leapt on her and pulled her hair. "I'M the one who should be more concerned with that! At least I've had my boyfriend longer than like, two months! You little freak!"
Eclipse screamed until Roy yanked Shadow back and made her let go of her best friend's hair.
Then... ZAP!
All sixteen bishies found themselves in a room alone with a girl. In most cases, she was either skantily clad, dressed seductively, or in some way all prettied up.
Shadow and Eclipse found themselves in a dungeon, side by side. Before they had a chance to take in their surroundings, they were shoved back against the wall and roughly forced into shackles. Their evil tormentors stepped back, and Shadow stared. Identical twins. And fairly hot, too. Guys, of course.
"Are you gonna kill us?" she asked.
"Those are our orders." Her tormentor paused. "Though... you're such pretty girls, I wouldn't mind having a little fun first..."
"Ooh, fun, huh?" Shadow teased, thrusting her hips forward a bit. The second the guy laid hands on her, she screamed like somebody had just ripped her kidneys out her back with their bare hands. He lunged back, and would have fallen if his twin hadn't caught him.
"FLUFFYYYYY! HELP ME, THEY WANT TO RAPE ME AND BEAT ME TO DEATH! FLUFFY!"
Eclipse joined in. "FLUFFY! HELP! FLUFFY! FLUFFFFFFYYYYYYYYY!"
Way, way upstairs, Sesshoumaru was a bit busy with his own problems to care about the girls he did indeed hear screaming their lungs out several floors below.
"Sesshoumaru," his particular fanatic purred, slinking closer to him as he backed up, "I know you've been alone for oh so long, with only Jaken and Rin for company... I bet you never get any satisfaction..."
"I don't want any," he stated plainly, dodging the bed (only furniture in the room) and backing towards the wall.
"Oh, honey... You know you don't mean that... You love me!"
"I've never met you, and if you come any closer, I'll kill you." His hand glowed threateningly.
The girl stopped and clenched her fists, stomping her foot down. "You let those two stupid girls hang all over you but you want to kill me!"
"Yes."
"EXPLAIN THAT TO ME!"
"They aren't sick, slutty, and delusional."
"WHAT? How can you say they aren't sluts! Did you see what they were wearing?"
"Yes."
"And it's not slutty?"
"They aren't trying to seduce me."
"They're sitting on your lap!"
He shrugged. "So?"
"I HATE YOU! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN? YOU'RE USUALLY SUCH A SWEETHEART TO ME!"
"I'll repeat this: I've never met you before. I hate you. I will not hesitate to kill you. I want you to return me home."
The girl sat on the bed. She was silent for a moment. "I won't send you back. I'll get you to love me some way or another."
Zap! He was back in the white room. Now he considered helping Shadow and Eclipse (their shrieks were still very audible), but being as the room had no doors, windows... walls... he wouldn't know how.
So he sat down to enjoy the time he had alone while he could. If there was one thing he'd learned about those two girls it was that they could take care of themselves.
Meanwhile, Ed was freaking out, Inuyasha and Koga were snarling at their "wives"; Tsume and Kiba were in their wolf forms glaring out from under the bed at their "wives"; Hiro and Kenshin were blushing and trying to politely decline; Saitou, Aoshi, and Yusuke were threatening their fanatical obsessive girls, while Yuki, Roy, Sano, Karasu, and Miroku were not minding the attention so much as the others. In fact, Karasu, terribly starved for attention, seemed very set on letting this girl 'seduce' him. Of course, he hadn't for a moment forgotten about Sesshoumaru, the beautiful angel, with his long, flowing silvery hair, his gorgeous, golden eyes, and the calm voice that seemed only to change when Shadow and Eclipse were being particularly psychotic towards him.
One by one, the guys who were freaking out on their fanatics reappeared in the room where Sesshoumaru was sitting. Of course, it was just his luck that Inuyasha was zapped in first.
Neither of them ignorant to Shadow and Eclipse's shrieks from somewhere else, they stood and faced each other.
"Ha. So we're finally alone, Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha chuckled. He grabbed the Tetsusaiga and smirked.
"I'm not going to fight you, Inuyasha."
"What!" He nearly fell on his face. Sesshoumaru didn't want to fight him? He had the perfect opportunity! Right now! They were alone. No distractions. "Why not!"
"Simply because you are always looking for a fight, and you always lose. And this is hardly the place."
"Why I'll... I do not always lose! I cut off your arm!"
Sesshoumaru raised it. "I have it back. Author's perogative."
"WELL WHEN YOU GET OUT OF HERE IT'LL BE GONE, AND IT'LL BE MY FAULT!"
"I hate you, Inuyasha. Killing you would be too easy, even with one arm."
"You rat!" Inuyasha lunged at him and they got into an uncharacteristic brotherly fistfight. Of course, the younger of the two ended up on his back with Sesshoumaru over him. The demon lord drew his fist back to knock a few of Inuyasha's teeth out when lo and behold, Tsume and Kiba simultaneously appeared.
Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha looked at them. Tsume gave a wolfy shrug and turned his back, his tail swishing out behind him. Kiba glanced at them, then followed Tsume's example and sat down calmly.
So, Sesshoumaru slammed his fist into the side of his brother's face. Once, then twice, then Kenshin appeared.
"AHHH! Brothers shouldn't fight, that they shouldn't!" He rushed over and tried to drag Sesshoumaru away, of course failing miserably. He did manage to stop further assault on the half demon by clinging to Sesshy's arm so he couldn't move it without waving the swordsman around.
"Get OFF," the demon snapped, flinging his arm wide and sending Kenshin sailing. He smacked into Saitou just as he appeared.
He abruptly became aware that Shadow and Eclipse had stopped screaming. It only concerned him the slightest bit. Inuyasha had got to his feet and now seemed ready to stupidly lunge right back into the fight.
Yusuke zapped in, then Ed, Aoshi, and Hiro almost simultaneously. A minute later, Koga appeared, just as Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru lunged at each other and continued their pointless, pretty much unprovoked fistfight. He watched Inuyasha get beat down and laughed at him when his brother left him twitching on the floor to go sulk around away from the group.
Shadow and Eclipse, meanwhile, had broken free of their shackles and beat the crap out of their would-be tormentors. Now they were sitting in the dungeon making s'mores over a fire fueled by said would-be tormentors' clothes.
"I wonder if Fluffy's worried?" Eclipse puzzled.
"I bet he is!" Shadow realized. "We shouldn't worry him so! Let's go!" She grabbed her s'mores and jumped through a window that appeared out of nowhere. Eclipse followed, and they plummetted downwards to slam into the floor on either side of Sesshoumaru. He glanced at them and sighed.
"I see you didn't die."
"No!"
"Were you worried?"
"We're so sorry for making you worry!"
"Do you forgive us?"
"Do you love us?"
"We love you!"
"I don't care," he stated plainly.
"Aww, we know that deep down you don't mean that," Shadow taunted, hugging him.
"You know that deep inside you're really touched that we love you," Eclipse added.
"No."
"Yeeess!" they argued in unison, grinning.
"Oh!" Shadow said suddenly. "What did they do to you?"
"What?"
"When they zapped you up!" Eclipse added, adding hand motions to emphasize.
"What did they do? Did they molest you?"
"Rape you?"
"Beat you?"
"No," Sesshoumaru replied. Shadow grabbed the armor on his chest and shook him back and forth.
"Be more VOCAL! You must use many words! Tell us what they did!"
He grabbed her wrists. "She has delusions I love her and that we've been married for some amount of time, and she called me honey."
Shadow and Eclipse gasped in unison. "That BITCH!"
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened a little bit at their reaction. "It wasn't that bad..."
"I can't believe she called you honey!"
"Did she touch you?"
"She better not have!"
"I'll make her pay if she did!"
"She'll suffer anyway for thinking you, the great Lord Sesshoumaru, could possibly love! Anyone! Especially not some complete stranger!"
"A puny human stranger on top of it!"
"That bitch!" they said in unison again.
"If you say so."
"Did she touch you?" Shadow asked.
"No."
"Did you kill her?"
"No."
"Why NOT?"
"She put me back here before I could."
"What! You, with your inhuman abilities, were out-speeded by a puny human?"
"No."
"Well then what happened?"
"She said she'd make me love her after I threatened to kill her, then I was back here."
"Oh," they said, seeming satisfied enough with that. "Okay."
Shadow looked around. "Where's Karasu?"
"And Miroku?" Inuyasha muttered, glancing around. Sesshoumaru flung his arm out and sent his brother flying with a lash from his whip.
"What was that for!" Kenshin cried.
"The hell of it," Sesshoumaru said, surprised to hear Shadow and Eclipse snap the same thing angrily at Kenshin at the same time.
"Oh," the swordsman muttered. "Well... it wasn't very nice... that it wasn't..."
"It was funny though!" Eclipse piped up, then promptly proved her point by cracking up laughing hysterically to the point of falling over.
"Delayed reaction," Shadow muttered. She kicked Eclipse in the head. "Baka."
"Owie..."
Sanosuke promptly appeared, looking a little out of sorts. Kenshin looked at him curiously.
"Sano, what happened?"
"I, uh... Nothing."
Shadow snickered. "I bet he got some," she whispered to Eclipse.
"That was a quickie, then. It's only been like, fifteen minutes..."
"Maybe a little longer. You can have sex in fifteen minutes, can't you?"
"I don't know! Why ask me?"
"You're the one with the Slut of Makai as your boyfriend..."
"Hey! I take offense at that! Kurama's not a slut! Kurama is a highly dignified fellow."
"Fellow," Shadow snickered. Eclipse ignored her.
"He only slept with people he found attractive. Sluts sleep with people who pay them. Like Hiei. Hiei's a slut."
Shadow stopped snickering instantly. "What!"
"I sense an imminent cat fight!" Yusuke yelped. He ran over and grabbed Shadow. "Relax... Don't kill her... Hiei's not a slut... Hiei's a very... um... selective... person..."
"Nuh-uh! He had sex with Mukuro, remember? She's only got one booby!" Eclipse teased.
Shadow swung her leg back and hit Yusuke's nuts, instantly freeing herself from his grip (he has a skull of brick, but his nuts are as vulnerable as the next guy's). She lunged at Eclipse.
"You BITCH!"
Sesshoumaru watched them curiously from where he sat on the floor. They'd done nothing but fight the entire time they'd been there, but this time Shadow actually seemed... annoyed. Angry? He was sure this was bad. So...
He continued sitting in the same place.
"You'll regret that! I'll toast you! Then YOU'LL only have one booby!" Shadow yelled, forming a ball of fire and flinging it at Eclipse. The girl screamed and lunged out of the way. "Kurama will be pissed THEN!"
"Yeah, at you!" She leapt at Shadow, who flung more fire at her. Having no particular option while in mid-air, she used her demon power in a fight for the first time in her memory. A silvery ball of water appeared in her hands and she flung her hands out to the side, spreading the liquid to form a shield. The fire hit it and the combination turned into steam. Eclipse kept coming at Shadow, who caught both her hands before she hit her.
"Dude! You just used your power!"
Eclipse blinked. "I did!"
"Yes, stupid, you did!"
"...I don't... remember..."
Collective face fault, minus all those too dignified. In other words, Sesshoumaru. Shadow smacked her across the face.
"STOOPID!" She paused. "Dude, you musta really been pissed at me for all that stuff I said about Kurama... Not only did you try to kill me, but you used your power..."
"I didn't try to kill you, you tried to kill me!"
"I did not! I would never do such a thing!"
"I called Hiei a skanky dirty slut, remember?"
"Just a slut," Yusuke said helpfully. Eclipse flung a rock at him.
"BUTT OUT!"
He shrugged. "Just trying to help. I figured it'd be better Shadow knew you hadn't called him skanky and dirty the first time, y'know? Cuz--YIKES!"
Shadow flung a really big rock at him. "Shut up, skank!" She zoomed over to Eclipse, grabbed her hand, and zoomed back over to Fluffy. She plopped down and pulled Eclipse down too.
"Now!" she said. "Do it again."
"Do what again?"
"Use your power, you slut!"
Eclipse burst into tears. "I'm not a slut! You are!"
"I'm a whore, get it right. Now... um... what were we talking about?" She looked to Sesshoumaru for help.
"You were talking about E--About how much you'd like to leave me alone."
Shadow paused and looked at Eclipse, then Sesshoumaru, then Eclipse. "Not much."
"Nah," Eclipse agreed.
"Ha ha!" Inuyasha laughed from across the room, pointing.
"I can still reach you over there," Sesshoumaru reminded, barely glancing at him.
His brother zoomed over and hid behind Tsume. "Ha ha!" he repeated, still pointing. The wolf sidestepped and Sesshoumaru hit his brother with his light whip again. "OWWW!"
"You're lucky I didn't aim for your face."
"Aww, why DIDN'T you?" Eclipse demanded.
"He couldn't kill his own BROTHER!" Shadow snapped. "That'd be like you killing Kei--Okay, never mind. But Inuyasha isn't a lecherous pervert like your little brother, and Fluffy isn't a soulless demon who could do such a thing as kill his own brother and not regret it."
"Aww, yeah!" Inuyasha said, appearing right next to Sesshoumaru (he's using his super anime speed to seem to appear, yes? He's not appearing like Shadow & Eclipse do). "Sesshy loves me, doesn't he?" He pinched his brother's cheeks in the grandmother 'you're sho kyute!' manner.
Sesshoumaru grabbed his brother by his face and slammed him into the floor.
ZAP! appeared Miroku. He got his bearings, glanced around, and saw Inuyasha thrashing around on the floor while his brother held him down by his face and snarled threats and obseneties.
"It seems I came back at a bad time," he muttered to himself. Shadow and Eclipse, who'd been too utterly fascinated by Inuyasha nearly getting his face melted by his brother's poison claws, glanced up. Shadow jumped to her feet and ran to Miroku and jumped on him, hugging him.
"Miroku, you're back! Did you get all sexed up?"
"I would never betray Sango like that!" he said defensively.
"Inuyasha's gonna die!" Eclipse screeched. "HURRY IF YOU WANNA SEE IT!"
Shadow zoomed over and knelt, bending down to get at the perfect level to watch. "Are you hurting, Inuyasha?" she asked.
"NO!" he snapped. "I just think my skin is melting!" His voice was slightly muffled from Sesshoumaru having his hand over his mouth. "That would never hurt!"
"Sesshoumaru, um..." Miroku muttered. "Maybe you could um... cut him some slack?"
"Shut up," the demon lord said dryly. He paused, then simply tightened his grip on Inuyasha's face, lifted his head, and smacked it into the floor.
"Ow!" the half-demon whined. Sesshoumaru backed off.
"The only thing keeping me from killing you right now is the possibility that if I do, I would likely be... punished... by our captors."
"And God knows what that'll be," Shadow muttered. "She'd probably RAPE you!"
"Speaking of rape..." Ed muttered, "does anyone know where Mustang is?"
"Who?" Shadow asked. "Oh! Oh, that cute guy with the black hair? The military guy?"
"Um... yeah, him."
"Oh, probably being raped!" she cheered. "Who knows. While we're on the subject, where's Karasu and Mr. Sexy?"
"You mean Yuki?" Hiro reminded dryly.
"Yeah, that's what I said. Mr. Sexy," Eclipse said.
"You didn't say it," Yusuke told her quietly.
"That's what I said," Shadow told him.
"What?"
"Who?"
"What!" Yusuke cried, now totally baffled.
"WIGGY!" Eclipse cheered. Shadow squealed.
"WIGGY!"
They linked arms and started doing a dance. "Wiggy wiggy wiggy woo!"
"I would much enjoy murdering you," Aoshi said.
"Oh my God!" They froze, striking a pose. Then a few more... before finally pointing at Aoshi. "He speaks! Speak again, o mighty one!"
"Shut up."
Shadow snapped her fingers. "Not exactly what I was hoping to hear..." She strolled over and plopped down on Fluffy's lap. "Hello Beautiful."
"Hi," he sighed, his chin resting on his hand as he gazed at a white spot on the wall. Shadow looked at the way he was not looking at her, then slowly slid into his line of view.
"Hello, Beautiful," she repeated. He put his other hand on the side of her face and pushed her out of his line of sight without moving any other part of his body.
"Hi," he returned, not looking at her. Shadow looked at him calculatingly, arms crossed thoughtfully.
Eclipse rather abruptly dropped into Sesshoumaru's line of sight. "HI FLUFFY!"
He sighed again, and closed his eyes.
"Fluffy?"
"Hello. Now go away." He pushed her away as well. She stood in the position she'd ended up in when he shoved her away for a moment, blinking, then she straightened up and also crossed her arms and began scrutinizing him.
"Sesshy's going through BMS," she finally announced. He sighed.
"What's BMS?" he asked dryly, only to humor her.
"Bitchy Male Syndrome!"
Shadow laughed. "That's funny!" Then she got an angry face and said in a British accent, "But my Sesshy is not bitchy!"
"Yes he is," Inuyasha muttered.
"Do you intentionally provoke everyone you come in contact with?" Koga asked.
"Are you tryin' to say something, dirty wolf?"
"Yeah! You're a jerk!"
"Grrrr!"
"I can't believe you let yourself get captured like this! Who's going to protect Kagome?"
"Kagome can take care of herself!"
"She better not be hurt when we get back!"
"Well if she is it's not my fault! YOU got captured TOO if you didn't NOTICE, stupid!"
Now it was Koga's turn to growl. "Grrrr!"
Roy rather abruptly was ZAPPED into the room, right between the two bickering guys. They both yelped like hurt dogs.
"Oh. Pardon me," he said. He strolled away. Ed caught up to him and started bitching at him.
"Where were you?"
"I was taking care of something."
Ed frowned. "I bet I can make a few guesses what you mean by that..."
"Edward, my life is not your business."
"Why not? You know everything I do, so I think I should start snooping around in your life! And besides, if you're having... y'know... with a total stranger..."
"It's not your business. I wasn't, anyways."
"Then what were you doing for so long!"
"It's not your business, Ed."
He stopped and crossed his arms. "Stupid."
"I heard that, Ed."
Back with Sesshoumaru... Shadow was currently stroking his hair in a loving manner while singing a lullaby to him. He looked peeved. Yusuke, who had taken to hanging around the three of them, noticed this.
"Um... Shadow? Shouldn't you, uh, like, be, y'know... Mourning Hiei's sudden absence from your life?"
"He'll come rescue me," she said. "We'll make up. Not that he'll ever find out about all this, right?"
"Well..."
"RIGHT?"
"Right! I won't say a word."
"Excellent."
"Not that Hiei would care," Eclipse muttered. "After all, he's probably cheating on you with Kurama."
"Well then that means Kurama's cheating on you with Hiei, stupid! Is your boyfriend that disloyal?"
"Kurama would never cheat on me!"
"YOU JUST SAID HE WAS!"
"No, I said Hiei was cheating on YOU!"
"With Kurama! Therefore, Kurama is also with someone other than you, therefore, you are being cheated on by your boyfriend with my boyfriend."
The entire room silenced.
"WHAT!"they all cried in shock. Shadow jumped up.
"So my boyfriend's gay! With HER boyfriend! You got a problem with it! It's in their nature!" She broke down into tears in Sesshoumaru's lap.
"Being gay is in Hiei's nature?" Yusuke asked. "You are aware that if he ever found out you said that, he'd kill you, right?"
Shadow was instantly over her fake tears and lunged to her feet in his face. "He won't find out, will he!"
"No!" the teen yelped.
"Savior of the world, there," Eclipse muttered. Shadow looked around.
"Where's--"
ZAP! ZAP!
Yuki and Karasu both appeared.
"Yuki and Karasu!" she cheered. She zoomed over to Yuki and hugged him. She paused, looked at him thoughtfully, then zoomed over to Karasu, sniffed at him, and put her hands on her hips.
"You smell like sex."
"Thank you for announcing it."
"You're really quite welcome," she replied. She zoomed back over to Sesshoumaru and was about to sit in his lap when he stood up. Shadow fell on her butt on the floor.
The screen was displaying a girl's face again. Apparently, the Sesshoumaru fanatic was the ringleader of the Bishie Abduction 2.
"You guys must be hungry," she said sweetly. "We'll all have a nice big dinner together in about fifteen minutes, okay? In the meantime, you'll have your other needs tended to... Then we'll have dinner."
"What about our needs?" Shadow asked, standing at the front of the group with her hands on her hips.
"You!" the fanatic cried. "You were supposed to be dead!"
"Yes, well, I've defied death many a time before and I'm not about to just stop cuz my murderer is some attractive shirtless guy with an identical twin." She paused. "Actually, hot guys have tried to kill me before... Often..." She got lost in her thoughts and Eclipse took over for her.
"Her point is, you'd better give us food and etcetera before you face our wrath! And before we molest Sesshy more than we already have!"
Shadow smacked her. "We have not been molesting that poor beautiful guy!"
"That's what you say," Sesshoumaru muttered.
"We've decided the worst way for you to die is by starvation," the girl on the screen said. "So..."
ZAP! Shadow and Eclipse were alone in the white room. There was silence for a few minutes, then Eclipse described the situation in two simple words.
"This sucks."
Her stomach growled. "My stomach is eating itself."
"Eclipse..."
"What?"
"Would you be mad if I cannabalized you?"
"Did what?"
"ATE YOUR FLESH!"
Eclipse screamed and ran away. She slammed into the wall. "Ow."
The next chapter was... fun... to write... Eclipse nearly had to beat me to death to get half of it from my mind onto the screen... Note the sarcasmand the way I nearly choked on the word "fun."
(Incidentally, did I mention that chapters 1, 2, 3, and part of 4 were all written at my best friend Eclipse's house?)