(October 24, 2005) I finally update!
Just to warn you, parts of this chapter had to be dragged out of me with a big meat hook on one of those really heavy chains, so in other words, certain parts of this chapter bothered me to write them at the time... They still kinda disturb me (poor Fluffy!) but I'm kinda over it since the story has gotten progressively worse since, with no outside encouragement...
CHAPTER YON
OMIGOD!
The bishies were led into a huge dining hall with a huge table in it.
"Ladies, show them to their seats," the ringleader girl said. All the fanatics swarmed over and latched onto their favored bishounen, dragging him to his assigned seat. As it turned out, all the guys sat on one side and the girls sat across from them. Sesshoumaru's fanatic was at the head of the table, so lucky him, in order to sit across from her, sat clear at the other end, far, far away from her. Unfortunately, the closest guy to him was Karasu. He didn't know it was unfortunate, though, because Karasu hadn't made any advances to this point.
"You each had a meal prepared especially for your tastes!" a girl said, then walked down the table pulling the silver covers off all their meals. Of course, in typical Mary Sue wannabe fashion, they screwed up and half the guys ended up with something they wouldn't want. Lucky Inuyasha got his ramen though. Yippee. "Dig in!"
Sano, Yusuke, Inuyasha, and a few others got appealing meals. Sesshoumaru looked at his plate unfavorably and sighed, resting his cheek on his fist and his elbow on the table.
"No elbows on the table, dear!" he heard from across the room. He glared at the girl and put his other elbow on the table, just to piss her off. Karasu grinned and picked up his chopsticks.
"Didn't you hear her?" Inuyasha called. "Get your elbows off the table, Sesshoumaru!"
"Shut up!"
"Make me!" He stuck out his tongue.
"Keep your tongue in your mouth or I'll rip it off and shove it in your ear."
"Sesshoumaru!" the fanatic down the table snapped. "Mind your manners!"
"Shut the hell up."
The girl frowned and said something to the nearest girl that sounded something like, "Men..." Sesshoumaru snorted.
Karasu, meanwhile, had been staring at him the entire time. When the demon lord finally glanced at him, they locked eyes. Karasu grinned and picked up some ramen noodles with his chopsticks, tilting his head slightly and sticking out his tongue. He wrapped it around the noodles hanging off the chopsticks and sucked them into his mouth slowly, his eyes not leaving Sesshoumaru's. Still grinning, he slowly licked the broth off his lips. Sesshoumaru's expressionless face did not change, save for him raising one eyebrow ever so slightly. The crow picked up more noodles and opened his mouth wide, lowering them onto his tongue, which he then slid between the chopsticks to pull the noodles into his mouth.
The only reaction he got from Sesshoumaru was a sigh and a slight eye roll before he looked away. Pervert. Nobody else had noticed his antics. Lucky them.
Eclipse sat up suddenly and looked around. Sniffing the air, her eyes widened. "I smell food."
Shadow sat bolt upright, also looking around. "I smell ramen."
They looked at each other. "Let's go."
A gaping swirly hole appeared. Shadow stood up, one hand on her hip and the other straight up in the air. "ONWARD!"
"THROUGH THE HOLE!" Eclipse added, mimicking Shadow's pose.
"Me first!" Shadow moved towards the portal.
"No, me first!" Eclipse grabbed her arm and pulled her away.
"No! Me!" Shadow pulled her away. Eclipse shoved her. They tried to strangle each other, in effect falling through the gaping hole. It closed behind them.
Back in the dining hall, Sesshoumaru was being pestered by his fanatic.
"C'mon, you have to eat!"
"I don't eat human food."
"Just try it. It couldn't hurt you! You're Sesshoumaru!"
He glared. "I don't want it. Leave me alone."
Rather abruptly, a gaping hole appeared above the table and two wrestling girls fell--CRASH!--right into the middle of the table, knocking over the candles and centerpieces and such. And the table. They put a hole right through it.
The nearest guys were on their feet in a second, while the fanatics screamed and fell over each other in an attempt to get away. Shadow and Eclipse stood up, glancing around curiously.
"Huh. Nice place," Shadow noted casually, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
"FLUFFY!" Eclipse screamed, pointing.
"Fluffy! FLUFFY!"
They lunged up on the table and ran down it, kindly knocking over everything in their way, and lunged on Sesshoumaru. Luckily, he'd been one of the people to jump to his feet when the girls had appeared, so he managed to keep his balance (whereas, in the chair, he would have tipped over, which would have been humiliating). Shadow and Eclipse both kissed his cheeks, making him wince, then nuzzled up to him.
"We missed you!"
"Did you miss us?"
"GET OFF HIM!" the fanatic screamed. She spun to face the door, screaming, "SECURITY! SECURITY! GET IN HERE!"
Shadow and Eclipse had decided they were hungry, so they started snatching whatever food they could find. Karasu's ramen, what was left of Tsume's chicken, whatever parts of Sesshoumaru's meal looked edible... The girls were like starved scavengers, eating anything they could get their hands on (as long as it hadn't been on one of the slutty fanatics' plates. They probably had STDs). The wise people quickly grabbed whatever they wanted to eat before Shadow and Eclipse reached them. But the two girls were smarter than that (smart? Oh my god). They grabbed the food right out of peoples' hands if they had to.
Then security finally came in, headed by what Shadow recognized as the fanatic who'd gushed about Hiei being her husband and the father of her children.
Security had guns.
Shadow and Eclipse... didn't need guns.
"OH MY GOD!" Eclipse screamed. Shadow pointed a finger at the leader, looking dangerous, then paused, chewing her food. And chewing. And chewing. The girls started to get impatient, so she quickly swallowed.
"OH MY GOD!" she cried mockingly.
"THAT'S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY! YOU MADE US WAIT SO YOU COULD SAY THAT! YOU LOSER!" The leader of security/Hiei fanatic started shooting. Shadow screamed.
"OMIGOD!" She and Eclipse lunged out of the way.
"DON'T SHOOT! YOU MIGHT HIT THE BISHIES!" the ringleader fanatic screamed.
"I DON'T CARE! THIS GIRL STOLE MY HUSBAND! MY PRECIOUS HIEI!"
Shadow crawled under the table and came out on the side the girls had been sitting on, which was nearer security. She picked up a handful of mashed potatos and flung it at the Hiei-fanatic.
Splat.
It hit her right in the face. She screamed.
"OH. MY. GOD! You BITCH!" She grabbed a spoon and flung spaghetti sauce at Shadow. She ducked and it hit one of the fanatics. Shadow straightened back up and grabbed a piece of turkey soaked in gravy... looked at it... looked at the fanatic whose food she was flinging... looked back at the food...
"You do know this shit's full of carbs and junk, don't you?"
"Omigod!"
"You really don't need this. It's not healthy."
"Omigod! Are you calling me fat! You slut!"
"I'm a whore. Get it right." She took the turkey and dropped it down the girl's shirt.
"OMIGOD! OMIGOD! YOU FUCKING HOE!" She grabbed some of her mashed potatoes and smashed them in Shadow's hair.
"OMIGOD!" Shadow mocked. She poured the girl's glass of milk over her head. "TAKE THAT! SKANK! YOU'LL STINK LIKE ROTTEN MILK SOON!"
The fanatic sputtered indignantly. Shadow reached across the table and grabbed Inuyasha's bowl. All that was in it was ramen broth. But that was perfect. She stalked up to the Hiei-fanatic and turned the bowl upside down over her head.
"WOOHOO!" Eclipse cheered. She grabbed a plate of spaghetti and hurled it at the nearest fanatic.
Soon enough, a full-scale food war had broken out. Shadow and Eclipse led the attack, standing on the table and hurling anything they could (food or not) at the fanatics. Any bishounen who didn't want anything to do with the fight had quickly gravitated towards Sesshoumaru, because he was farthest from the fray as it was, and had moved farther away when the attack broke out.
However, just cuz they were out of the way didn't save them entirely. A stray piece of pizza flew over and hit Saitou. Right in the face. Kenshin snickered and nearly got Gatotsu'ed. A pea flew over and hit Aoshi, right after Saitou had got his face cleaned off (with his sleeve) and ducked behind him. Then another, and another.
"STOP IT!" the ninja screamed. Shadow's head perked up above the rest of them and she waved at him with a straw in her hand.
"Gomen nasai!" She dove back into battle.
Sesshoumaru glanced around the room. Maybe he could make a break for it while they were distracted. No. Dammit. The door was closed and there were several food-splattered girls in front of it. Damn them.
A chicken wing (what remained of it after Shadow had peeled every bit of edible meat off it) came flying across the room and hit Tsume in the side. He yelped and snarled, his fangs gleaming. Then he picked up the meat, sniffed it, and hurled it back in the direction it came. It smacked into some random girl.
"ENOUGH!"
Everyone froze. Shadow flung her handful of peas down and to the side, hitting some girl and sending them rolling into her shirt.
"I SAID STOP!" It was Sesshy's fanatic. She was covered from head to toe in stains.
"They started it!" Shadow whined, pointing at Security.
Yusuke looked at himself. "Ew... I'm covered in mashed potatoes..." He shot a glare at Shadow. She'd been the main potato-flinger. A halo appeared above her head and she smiled innocently, waving cutely at him. Then she blinked and looked around. Spotting the mob of fairly clean bishies in the corner, she danced towards them... and fell in the hole she'd created in the table when she and Eclipse fell into the room.
"Owww..." She grabbed the edge of the table and launched herself out, flying through the air towards Sesshoumaru. She flipped as she neared him, landing on her feet and falling forward... on top of Kenshin, as Fluffy had conveniently sidestepped. This, of course, effectively covered Kenshin in gravy, mashed potatoes, ramen broth, and chocolate pudding.
Not caring in the least about this, Shadow merely pet his hair while he lay there with swirly eyes, then stood up and looked to Fluffy.
"Are you unharmed, Lord Sesshoumaru?"
He raised an eyebrow. "'Lord'? You've never used any respect with my name before."
"I love your name! It's so beautiful!" She made a move to hug him and he sidestepped again. She hugged Karasu... thus, covering him in most of the same food stains as Kenshin. Noticing that she was not hugging Sesshoumaru, she lunged away. "EW!"
Karasu sighed. "I feel loved." Sesshoumaru glared at him.
"Fine, if you won't let me hug you... Are you unharmed?" she asked Fluffy.
"Yes, I'm unharmed."
"Are your clothes still angelic white?"
"Yes."
"Really?" She walked a circle around him. "Wow. Your clothes are like... anti-stain."
"...Sure. Whatever. Maybe it's just because nothing hit me."
Inuyasha grabbed a handful of spaghetti and hurled it at his brother. Eclipse lunged to block it, but it was too late.
Splat.
It hit him in the arm (I would NEVER hit Sesshoumaru in the face with spaghetti! I'll have Karasu lust after him, I'll sic Shadow and Eclipse on him, but to hit him in the FACE with SPAGHETTI... That's a death sentence). He looked at it and narrowed his eyes. He looked at Inuyasha with his eyes narrowed. Inuyasha smirked and waved.
Shadow grabbed Sesshoumaru's wrist as his hand glowed. "Don't kill him right now!"
"I thought you wanted to see carnage?"
She paused, brow furrowed. "Oh yeah." She let go. "Go for it."
Kenshin jumped on Sesshoumaru's arm and clung to it fiercely, arms and legs wrapped around it. "You shouldn't kill your brother, that you shouldn't!"
"GET OFF ME YOU MORON!"
He swung his arm wide and Kenshin went flying, landing on his back halfway across the room, on top of Roy, getting even more stains, this time on his back. Shadow looked at them with raised eyebrows, as did most of the other people.
"Huh," she said. "Anyways..."
Eclipse groaned and stood up. Yeah. Remember when she flung herself in front of the spaghetti? She's just now getting up.
Looking at Sesshoumaru, she gasped at the sauce stain on his arm. "I FAILED!"
"YOU FAILED, YOU LOSER! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!" Shadow snapped, pointing an accusing finger at Eclipse.
"AT LEAST I TRIED! I DIDN'T SEE YOU SACRIFICING YOUR HYGEINE TO SAVE HIM!"
"MY BACK WAS TURNED, HOEBAG!"
"WELL WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR DEMON INSTINCTS!"
Shadow narrowed one eye. "What 'demon instincts'?"
"I don't know. You're a half-demon. Don't you have those?"
"Do you?"
"...Do I what?"
Shadow rolled her eyes. Then she walked over to Yuki. "Are you unharmed too?"
"MR. SEXY!" Eclipse added, waving.
"I'm fine," he said, just to humor Shadow. How much can food harm you, anyways?
And suddenly Security came up and grabbed Shadow and Eclipse, dragging them away kicking and screaming. After a few minutes, once everyone had settled down after the two psychos left, the ringleader clapped her hands together.
"We can't have you guys going around with so many stains, can we? C'mon, get undressed. We'll wash your clothes and you can all bathe."
Everyone looked at her incredulously.
"What?" she asked.
"Get undressed?" Yusuke asked. "Right here? In front of you?"
"Why not?"
"I won't even get undressed in front of my GIRLFRIEND!"
"But you're going to spend the rest of your life with us! You should be more casual!"
"One, I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with you. Two, I'm not going to undress in front of you."
Another girl walked over and whispered something in the ringleader's ear. She smiled. "Good idea! Do it!"
The second girl ran out of the room. The leader giggled.
"What's so funny?" Koga asked bitterly.
"Oh, nothing." She continued giggling. And giggling. And giggling. Until...
ZAP!
All the guys found themselves in a large swimming pool-sized in-ground bathtub sort of thing full of hot water. The room was full of steam. There was a walkway along one wall, up near the very-high ceiling.
Once they got over the initial shock of being zapped from a messy dining hall into hot water, they realized that they were all undressed. Completely.
The water hid them, of course, but the fact remained that sixteen bishounen were suddenly bathing together.
Karasu was in heaven.
Everyone else was pissed off. A few were embarrassed (Ed). But mostly, they were pissed off.
And, of course, who did Sesshoumaru end up beside but his own little brother. And Karasu. Yes. I am cruel. I know. It's a gift and a curse.
The demon lord glanced to his left. Inuyasha glanced to his right. They both narrowed their eyes evilly at each other. Sparks flew between them, yet neither would move or break eye contact.
Suddenly, Sesshoumaru's eyes widened. Something was moving along his skin under the water. From his hip, down his leg a little ways, then back up. Then back down. Inuyasha looked confused by his brother's countenance, then the demon lord spun suddenly and grabbed Karasu's wrist, pulling it up out of the water.
"What the hell are you doing?" he snarled. Inuyasha's eyes widened when he realized what he'd just witnessed, then he peered around his brother to look at the crow.
"Your skin is really smooth," Karasu said.
"Never. Ever. Touch me. Again."
Inuyasha coughed, then snickered, then exploded with laughter. Sesshoumaru swung his fist back and cracked his brother in the face without even blinking. The dog hanyou fell backwards into the water. Miroku had to drag his head above water to keep him from drowning.
Yusuke had noticed the situation and hurriedly was crossing the pool towards them. Of course, he had to be clear on the other side, and the pool was big, and everyone was in the way. Of course.
Karasu glanced at the wrist Sesshoumaru was holding in his clawed hand, then looked at the demon's face and smiled slightly, moving closer to him, putting his other hand on his cheek.
"You're more beautiful than Kurama."
Sesshoumaru snarled, baring fangs. Karasu was unruffled as he pressed against his victim. (AHH! I feel so bad for Fluffy!)
"SESSHOUMARU!" Yusuke yelled, shoving a few more people out of the way to run the last few feet. "Don't kill him!"
"Why shouldn't I!" His grip on Karasu's wrist tightened, his eyes taking on a slightly reddish hint, claws digging into the crow's pale flesh.
"Well... um..."
"Shadow would be mad," Karasu offered calmly, his hand slipping off Sesshoumaru's cheek, down his chest lightly.
"I'm gonna need a better reason than that," the demon growled angrily, his eyes turning fully red as Karasu wrapped his arm around his waist.
"Don't stain the water with his blood," Saitou offered dryly.
"I'll kill him out of the water."
"Oh. Okay."
"Hey! You're not helping!" Yusuke snapped. "Um... You can't kill him because Shadow would be mad, and because it's a waste of your energy, and because the fanatics would be mad, and because I said so!"
"Ready?" Miroku whispered to Inuyasha.
"For what?"
"To suppress him!"
"Who? Sesshoumaru! I'm not touching him! He's naked!"
"Does that really matter? He's your brother!"
"SO!"
"Families bathe together all the time! Besides, it's better than him killing someone!"
"I think he has every right to kill that guy."
"JUST SUPPRESS HIM, DAMMIT!" Koga snapped from behind them.
"YOU, YA MANGY WOLF!"
Meanwhile, Sesshoumaru was very pissed off at Yusuke's reasons. "I don't give a damn about any of that." He shoved Karasu away as the crow's hand wandered a little lower. Kenshin, Yusuke, and Miroku all grabbed the demon lord, ineffectively attempting to keep him from tearing the crow limb from limb. Only Yusuke was really useful, what with his half-demon strength, and managed to get Sesshoumaru's arms behind his back.
"LET GO OF ME."
"No! Calm down!"
Being molested by another man was one thing. Having his arms pinned behind his back so he couldn't move them, by a teenage boy no less, so he couldn't kill the guy who'd molested him, that... that just made it worse. He snarled ferally and his face changed... he turned into a little orb of light. Yusuke yelped at the sudden emptiness in front of him. The little orb of light flew up in the air, then came plummetting down and slammed into the floor outside the pool. There was time for two words before a huge white dog demon was standing there, and Inuyasha took that time.
"Oh shit."
Then there was giant dog demon Sesshoumaru, who did somehow fit inside the room, amazingly enough. There was plenty of time for words then, but Yuki was the only one to speak.
"Holy SHIT!"
Remember the walkway near the ceiling that I mentioned way back when I was describing the room? It had a door at either end. And right then, both opened. Shadow came in one, and Eclipse came in the other. Both were wearing bikinis. They echoed Yuki's sentiment, only louder, and in unison.
"HOLY SHIT!"
Everyone looked up, including Sesshoumaru (even with his poison saliva and breath).
"What is this! Some kind of... naked gladiator match with a swimming pool?" Shadow asked.
"THAT'S SESSHOUMARU!" Yusuke screamed at her. She looked around at the occupants of the pool. Fluffy was the only one missing.
"WHAT?"
"HE WANTS TO KILL KARASU! HE WENT ALL PSYCHO!"
Oddly enough, Sesshoumaru and the girls were at eye level with each other, since they were on the walkway near the ceiling and his dog form is like, a bazoogle feet tall.
"What the hell are you trying to kill him for?" Shadow snapped, hands on her hips.
"KARASU MOLESTED HIM!" Yusuke answered.
"I ASKED FLUFFY, NOT YOU!"
"HE CAN'T ANSWER! HE'S A DOG! DOGS DON'T TALK!"
"Kokuei does..." Shadow's eyes widened. "Maybe Kokuei is really a demon!"
"That's not the issue at hand," Eclipse reminded.
"Oh yeah. FLUFFY! YOU'RE REALLY TALL!"
"THAT'S NOT EITHER!" Eclipse screamed.
"Oh yeah. ... What is?"
"KARASU MOLESTED SESSHOUMARU AND NOW HE WANTS TO KILL HIM!" Yusuke screamed.
The doors on either end of the walkway burst open and about ten girls with guns came in from each side. Everyone's eyes widened, except Sesshoumaru's pure red ones, which narrowed as he snarled at the fanatics.
"Sesshoumaru, we don't want to hurt you, but we will if you make us!" one girl shouted, aiming her gun. Shadow glanced at the girl at precisely the wrong second.
The huge dog demon moved forward quickly, and his jaws closed on the walkway. Ripping a mouthful of it, and a generous portion of the wall it was attached to, away, he flung it downwards at Karasu. The girls had shrieked when they saw his huge fangs, and all thought of their guns was gone from their minds. Shadow wasn't about to remind them they had them, either. Though she hardly believed they had bullets, they may still have ended up, with their terrible aim, actually accidentally killing somebody with tranquilizers.
Sesshoumaru, meanwhile, looked down at the steaming pool beneath him. Karasu was still alive. Damn. Nobody seemed too eager to make any grand attempts at reigning in the demon lord, considering how they were all naked and unarmed and he was a giant furry dog with really big teeth and poisonous saliva.
Shadow and Eclipse took it upon themselves, two half-demon girls, to subdue the inuyoukai that was several dozen times larger and stronger and more venomous than them. With the 'security' girls cowering so close to the doors out of the room that they might as well have been part of them, Sesshoumaru's attention had been focused back on his molester. The dog demon's huge paws were on either side of the pool, one front and one back paw on either side. He dropped his head down between his legs to be more level with the crow.
"You know..." Shadow muttered slowly, thoughtfully. "...Something bad may come of this."
Eclipse's widened eyes turned on her in disbelief. "No, ya THINK!"
The red-eyed girl punched her fist into the palm of her other hand. "I have a solution!"
"Oh, really?"
"Swan dive."
"Swan dive?"
"Yup," Shadow said, already climbing up on the railing. She balanced with her arms out, then jumped in a perfect swan dive, shouting its name as she did so. Sesshoumaru glanced up just in time to effectively not get water splashed in his eyes when Shadow landed in it right in front of his nose. Unfortunately for her, the water wasn't really that deep. Only deep enough to hide the guys up to their waists. Thus, needless to say, her landing was painful. And it knocked her unconscious, if only for a short time, but forced Yusuke to fish her out of the water and lay her on the edge of the pool. Miroku volunteered to do CPR, but Karasu, being the closest one willing, got the honor.
Eclipse appeared out of nowhere in front of the demon lord and put her hands on her hips.
"Sesshoumaru, listen to me!"
He growled, greenish vemonous foam lining his snarling lips.
"How much fun is it to kill Karasu when all you have to do is bite once to crush his body?"
No change in the snarling red-eyed face.
"Save your murder for--"
"AHHHHHH!" Shadow screamed, waking up to find Karasu's lips on her. She grabbed his shoulders and dove into the water, pushing him in backwards. Startled eyes watched her as she flatly refused to let the drowning crow up, until finally, at the very last second, she pulled him above the water. Even then, he didn't get a break to catch his breath. The girl started shaking him by his shoulders and screaming incoherent things at him that probably weren't even in Japanese.
Sesshoumaru's snarling lessened, and he all at once glowed pure white and returned to his humanoid form by way of the white ball of light. Shadow instantly stopped murdering Karasu and dropped him in the water to gaze at Sesshoumaru.
"FLUFFY!" she squealed.
And at that moment, every fangirl came pouring into the room. Sesshoumaru's fanatic stopped with her hands on her hips.
"SesSHOUMARU!"
All eyes turned upwards.
"Get Karasu out of the water right this instant! And do CPR on him!" Karasu's fanatic screamed in horror.
"Not if my life depended on it," the demon lord replied coldly. Yusuke bent and fished around under the water until he caught a handful of Karasu's hair, then he yanked the unconscious and half-dead crow demon above the water.
"I think he's dead," the boy muttered.
"Serves him right for touching Fluffy like that," Eclipse and Shadow said in unison, and simultaneously Sesshoumaru snarled, "You think he's dead?" and Karasu's fanatic screamed in horror at the revelation.
"Well yeah," Yusuke said, directing it at the demon lord. "He's, uh... kinda not breathing..."
"Kinda?" Sesshoumaru moved forward, his hand glowing. "Let's make sure."
"NOOOOO!" a fanatic screamed while simultaneously Sesshy's fanatic said, "Sesshoumaru! Didn't I tell you to stop killing people!"
He didn't spare her a glance, just kept going towards the unmoving body Yusuke was holding. Suddenly, he felt arms lock around his and two people tried to drag him backwards. Turning his head, he caught sight of Miroku and Kenshin.
"You're touching me," he snapped, legs braced so he wouldn't move an inch no matter how much they pulled. Two humans cannot overpower a demon lord.
"Killing is bad, that it is," Kenshin said.
"You shouldn't kill Lady Shadow's friends," Miroku said, smiling. "You of all people should know her wrath is perhaps the worst I've ever seen from a woman..." He touched his cheek as if he could feel the sting of a po'ed woman's slap.
Sesshoumaru glanced at Shadow. She was looking at him curiously, arms crossed. Before he could snap at her, the fanatics on the walkway upstairs spoke up.
"DO SOMETHING ABOUT KARASU, YOU STUPID BASTARDS!" one screamed.
SMACK!
"DON'T CALL MY HUSBAND A BASTARD!"
"OMIGOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST HIT ME! AND WHO SAID I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOUR STUPID HUSBAND?"
"OMIGOD! HE'S NOT STUPID! AT LEAST HE'S NOT GAY, LIKE YOUR STUPID FREAK KARASU!"
"KARASU ISN'T GAY!"
"He's bisexual," Shadow informed them all helpfully, nodding. Sesshoumaru pulled his arms out of the monk's and the ex-battousai's grips and stalked off to one side to sulk and glare. Shadow and Eclipse seemed torn between doing commentary on the fanatics' arguments and going over to the demon lord. They eventually settled on the latter, because Lord Sesshoumaru is so uber muchly more beautiful and sexy and interesting than any of the fangirls.
"Fluuufffy?"
"Hey!" Yusuke cried, noticing where they were headed. "What about Karasu!"
The girls ignored him and sidled up to Sesshoumaru slowly. His back was turned on them and the rest of the group. The two girls had their hands clasped behind their backs innocently as they looked up at him and repeated his nickname. When he didn't look at them, they both simultaneously squealed and threw their arms around him from either side. He tensed, probably ready to do some serious ass-kicking, but then slowly, hesitantly relaxed. They weren't hurting him, they wouldn't hurt him even if they could, and he didn't feel like murdering innocent weak girls at the moment.
The fanatics came swarming into the downstairs part of the room, screeching and screaming and converging on Karasu. All the bishies edged carefully away from the writhing screaming mass of fangirls.
Shortly Karasu was awake, much to Sesshoumaru's displeasure. Shadow and Eclipse held his hands (surprisingly without protest, but without cooperation either) and watched the proceedings, as his fanatic separated herself from the general mass and pointed to him.
"Come here," she said. He looked at her blankly, like he'd suddenly stopped comprehending any language. She crossed her arms. "COME. HERE."
Shadow pointed at the girl threateningly. "Lord Sesshoumaru is no dog! He does not come when called by an inferioir cretin like you! He does not wag his furry tail and beg for table scraps, and a pet on the head will not make him happy! Sesshoumaru-sama is a MAN! With a very intelligent, complex mind of his own! And YOU are a GIRL with NO MIND AT ALL! If you think he's going to listen to impolite, inconsiderate drabble from you, you have another thing coming!"
"Exactly!" Eclipse agreed intelligently, pointing an equally threatening finger at the girl.
"Why you... You should both be murdered!"
"Never," Shadow said, moving closer to Sesshoumaru. "My Lord would never allow it."
Sesshy suddenly realized he did feel like murdering innocent weak girls, moreso than he'd originally thought. But not Shadow and Eclipse. This girl in front of him who thought she had some sort of jurisdiction over his life. He would murder her DEAD. In bloody gruesome ways. Along with all the other ones. Muwaha...
The fangirl snarled. "This isn't over."
"You're right. It isn't," Shadow retorted, eyes narrowed.
The other girl addressed Sesshoumaru curtly, "Your clothes have been cleaned. They will be brought here shortly. You will all dress, then you will be returned to the holding area until we decide the proper way to deal with this."
All the fanatics were shortly gone, having hauled off Karasu with them, to ensure his survival. A few moments of silence passed, then Sano sighed.
"I think we should just cut out the murder attempts and enjoy this bath while we have the chance," he said. "Who knows when we'll be able to relax again."
Silence followed, then Miroku said "He has a point," looking hopefully and warily at Sesshoumaru. The demon lord was pointedly looking in the opposite direction.
Shadow and Eclipse seemed happy with the idea and lunged underwater. There were several unhappy and startled screeches when they did this. Recall, none of the guys are clothed (lucky girls, right?), and two teenage girls swimming around underwater could prove a rather embarassing situation. Sesshoumaru and Yusuke watched the two forms swim around gracefully underwater. One bumped into the other and suddenly it was like a feeding frenzy with the two girls thrashing around trying to kill each other. With a sigh, everyone moved away from the underwater battle and sank into the water to relax as best they could.
Wasn't that fun to read? Don't you feel thoroughly awful for Sesshoumaru? I do. And do you know how meticulous I am? The part where Karasu was eating the ramen, WAYYY at the beginning of the chapter? Since I'm such a good author with lots of attention to detail, I made my friend fix me ramen before writing that part and I ate it in much the same manner Karasu was, only with a fork instead of chopsticks, and I wasn't trying to seduce a hot, hot, hot guy... But it still was loads of fun, and I've never eaten ramen the same way since...
-SJ