Message from the writers: Now if you have read any of our other stuff you will have figured that we are comedy writers. So this chapter here is a little bit on the softer side and more of a fun chapter.

Disclaimer: We do not own SSX or any of the characters but we do own the plots so don't go stealing them.

The Moron Convention Part 3

Marty woke up, by an alarm clock. Which was confusing at first because he didn't have one. He looked at his chest and there seemed to be a piece of paper on it. He sat up and put his feet on the ground, which was covered in glass. He swore to himself and pull out a piece that got itself lodged in his foot.

Hmm I must have dropped it, or something, Marty thought to himself. He got up and grabbed a broom. He swept up the glass wondering if he dropped his glass or did Nate. Either or, he was going to blame it on Nate, made himself feel better. Though he promised himself never to ask Nate who actually did, cause it was probably his.

His attention then went on the note. He picked it up ad read it.

Dear Marty

GET DOWN TO THE MEETING ROOM BY 9:00 OR YOU WILL DIE

love

EA Canada

Oh, someone seems pissed, Marty thought to himself. He looked at his clock and it read 8:50. Marty swore to himself loudly and ran out of his room. When he got to the bottom level he was really pooped.

He entered the meeting room though, walking slowly and with a smile on. In the room was a "U" shaped table with a very high member of EA Canada in the open area of the table. He also looked like he was about to kill every member. This is going to be fun.

It took thirty more minutes for all riders to show up. When they did the guy seemed about to burst a vein. He was wringing his wrist's and what sounded like saying a prayer. "Okay, now that you all seemed to be here, I will now tell you why I call you all here. Because ... You are all fucking morons! First there is a stabbing at a club where there is half the SSX riders! Then you fucking dip shits have the great fucking idea of killing each other in the biggest fight ever to happen in this fucking hotel! Do you dumb asses have any fucking idea about how much Fucking bad fucking press we are getting! Do you know what you are supposed to do after something goes very fucking wrong and illegal when you are at a place, while you are a celebrity! Do you know what! Jesus Christ I bet you fucking dumb fucking fuckers don't even know! You lay low! You don't start a fight in a completely different place!

"You know what, your lucky I don't fucking suspend half of you! Do any of you know why this fucking dumb ass shit thing happened? From what I hear it is because Viggo was making out with someone else and Allegra caught him and so Eddie decided to fucking punch him!" Then the EA guy walked up to Eddie. "What the fuck? That is what do fucking celebrities do! They fucking fuck other fucking fucks who they are not suppose to be fucking!"

Then he moved over to where Mac was "And You! Instead of just leaving it to those two fucking morons. You fucking get involved! You don't even like Viggo or hate fucking idiot over there but you still get fucking involved. And of course Marty here has to fucking take his chance to get revenge for the fucking shit he doesn't even know Mac was fucking involved in! Now fucking fucktard Moby now has to go after Eddie! Why? Who fucking knows! And now it has overly escalated,"

Now the guy walked over to where Psymon and Zoe were sitting. "And now these two fucking retards take the stupidest fucks alive award. Not only do you two fuck each other in the elevator. Even though you're in a fucking hotel, you can't control your fucking hormones. And not only that your in the high class hotel were staying out. And we spent enough fucking money bribing the security staff to not sell the fucking security camera footage! You then go partying and a person of the media who you both have shown aggression against. GETS FUCKING STABBED And your right next to the fucker at the fucking time of fucking stabbing! Then you go back to the hotel and join these dumb shits at the fucking moron convention! Where your crowded King retard and Queen Stupid Bitch! Then you have a Fucking Victory FUCK! And guess where? Not in you fucking room!"

"Uh...Jake...do I have to be here? My kids are waiting for me in the front lounge," Jurgen asked.

The guy turned to face Jurgen. "Oh...sure you can go sorry. Hey say hi to Betty for me,"

"I will," Jurgen got up and left.

"You Mother fucking moronic idiots! If you have another shit fucking damn fucking fight like you fucking had last god damn night. We will suspend half of you! And the others will all start living in a two star hotel! All in one room! With one fucking Bed!

"And you two!" Jake said pointing at Allegra and Viggo. "You are going to forget this ever happened! The only good press we have been getting lately are about you two, Hell you are almost as popular as the Mac and Kaori thing!" Which at that Kaori muttered something under her breath. Obviously she didn't like her relationship to be called a thing.

"Now you fucking dumb ass satan praising shits are to all go and think about what you have done while I go and contemplate murder!" to which the guy stormed out of the room, still swearing loudly.

"Well he seemed to be pissed," Psymon said.

Then a woman wearing a small dress, carrying a clip board walked into the room. She walked into the centre and rubbed the wrinkles off of her dress. She coughed and put on some glasses. Every SSX rider seemed to be bored. "Okay you dumb fucks you are going to have to do some things over the next few days to try to get some good press," the woman said in a very nice tone.

"Okay first, Viggo and Allegra. You guys are going to always be holding hands, Allegra, giggle a lot, kiss a lot in public and if anyone asks how you're relationship is, say it has never been better," the woman said. Viggo shrugged, while Allegra didn't look very angry.

"Second is Psymon and Zoe. No more fucking in public places, hell how about none at all, Psymon, no more attacking random people, Zoe, please stop threatening the media, and I repeat no more sex in public places." The two of them didn't really seem very affected.

"Third Griff. No more going to bars and clubs. All bouncers and bartenders have been warned. Please try to quit smoking, and stop trying to pick up chicks at the local highschool, please." Griff seemed angry by these commands, mainly because that was all he ever did.

"Fourth Seeiah. Actually this goes with Viggo too, no more none stop partying. You two were almost too tired to get to the last competition. So no more partying for 24 hours at a time." Seeiah, who didn't seem to be listening didn't move.

"Fifth Hiro, You will be clean for the next little while. You have missed the second last event. And because of that you weren't allowed to be in the last one. So stop with the drugs and be at the next few events." Hiro rolled his eyes.

"Sixth Mac and Marty, Moby and JP. Start getting along. Stop making all these big scenes all over town. No more fights, not even against other people. You heard that right. NO more fighting." Of course none of them seamed to be that pleased with those orders.

"Seventh Luther and Nate. Please stop smoking up like chimneys and drinking like your about to die. You are giving bad messages to the children fans of SSX." Luther laughed at that, he thought that was funny while Nate seemed to shrug it off.

"Eighth Eddie. Okay just stop doing what ever crazy shit you do. Calm down, do Tai Chi or something. Or at least avoid being in public when doing that." Eddie was actually confused by that request. (Afterwards he would ask many other people what that meant and none of them could really give him an answer)

"Ninth Elise and Marisol. Stop being super bitches. And when paparazzi jump out at you, don't pose please, it is not a photo shoot, your making yourselves look insane." Both Marisol and Elise seemed to be quite angered by that.

"Tenth Kaori and Brodi. You seem to be the only sane ones here ... so well keep up the good work! And finally we don't pay you millions to just sit around and do nothing. Get out there and fucking snowboard!" She said pointing to the door. There were many grumbles as all the SSX riders left the room.

Marty looked at his watch. "Fuck its only 9:50 I am so going back to bed." It wasn't long until he figured everyone had the same idea. He was the last one out of the room. After a few minutes walking on the first level. He turned a corner the see the elevator doors closing. He quickly started to run for it. "Hey Wait!" Marty yelled but right when he got to the doors they had shut. He swore to himself and looked across the hall to a door with the words saying staircase on it and sighed. Once he got to his suite he was so tired he walked over to his couch and just collapsed.

Message from the Writers: Well there you have it the end of The Moron Convention. We are pleased to announce though that the next section all three parts are finished so look for the updates through now and January.