(November 14, 2005) Somewhere around 130 reviews to date.

Now. Youko is in this chapter. Must I say more? I must? He's being a pervert. More? Hiei's the only other one around.

CHAPTER NANA
Know Thy Anemone

Morning found everyone asleep, even Sesshoumaru, who had some how ended up lying down, with Shadow in his arms and Eclipse behind him with her arms around his middle, her head resting against his back.

Everyone else was dispersed around the room, some sitting up and some laying down, some sleeping like bricks and others waking up every time someone exhaled louder than normal. No matter how deep a sleeper they were, a very annoying noise woke most of them up.

"Rise and shine, darlings!" the overly joyful voice of Ayame called over the intercom.

There were some groggy mumbles and blinkings of eyes.

"Come on!" She clapped her hands a couple times. "Wake up! Get up! Rise and shine!"

Yusuke rolled over and yawned widely, then sat up and wiped his eyes tiredly, blinking himself awake. He glanced around as the annoying voice continued its cheeryness and all around the room people sat up, looking tired and grumpy.

Sesshoumaru woke up without all the slow, groggy, tiredness of the humans, but he didn't bother opening his eyes. The two girls were clinging to him, so really he saw no point. He didn't think they were awake, nor did he think they would wake up anytime soon, unless he got up.

"Is everyone awake!" the annoying fanatic voice continued. The screen flicked on and she glanced around the room, noticing that most of them were awake to some degree. Then her eyes fell on Sesshoumaru and she screamed.

"OMIGOD! YURI! YURRIII! COME QUICK!"

Shadow and Eclipse shot to either side of the room like lightning, leaving Sesshoumaru alone and innocent-looking in his 'sleep'. They continued sleeping as if they hadn't even taken a breath out of rhythm. Yuri's face appeared on the screen.

"What? What is it?"

"Omigod Yuri, those two whores were sleeping with your Sesshoumaru!"

"Only Shadow is a whore. Get it right," Karasu said. He smirked at the girl on the screen to show he was joking. "Good morning, Ayame."

"Oh, good morning Karasu, koishii! How did you sleep?"

There were several gagging noises from all around the room. Shadow got up, walked over to Karasu, and put her arm around his shoulders, guiding him in the direction of the wall. Ayame, on the screen, freaked out.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM!"

"Karasu, let me tell you something," Shadow said, ignoring the fanatic.

"What?"

"By being even mildly friendly towards that girl, you're getting in the bad favors of every fanatic-hating man in this room. And let's not even go into what I think of it."

"But Shadow, she's nice to me."

"It's just because you're attractive! She doesn't care about you. Just your image. I bet that if you put on something like a Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts and sandals, she'd think you were a total gay-bo and ditch you like that!" She snapped her fingers for emphasis. "Just stick with me, my sexy little bitch. I know what's good for you." Standing on her tip-toes, she kissed his lips quickly.

"Shadow, I'm a hell of a lot older and more experienced than you. At everything. I can handle my own life."

"But Karasu, you're new to the whole notion of having feelings. Other than bloodlust and the desire to kill, you pretty much didn't feel anything before. No compassion, no love, no happiness... I've felt those things since I was this big!" The girl made a millimeter between her fingers.

"You were that big once?"

"Boy, was I! ...Was I?" She appeared to contemplate something for about a second while the fanatics screamed in the background and Sesshoumaru plugged his ears with his fingers while snarling under his breath to block them out. Then she just shook her head. "I digress. Point is, Karasu, my sexy little bitch, if anyone can get you what you really want, it's me. Stick with me, boy... Stick with me..." With a knowing, solemn nod of her head, she turned and walked back to the side of the room where she'd been laying. She fell over and started snoring instantly.

"Karasu! Oh my God, don't listen to her! She's out of her mind!" Ayame screeched.

"That, I am," Shadow said coldly, sitting up abruptly again and very wide awake, a deadly serious look on her face. "I am out of my mind, I'll give you that."

She got up, "But..."

She took a step towards the screen, holding up one finger. "But I know what I'm talking about." Step.

"I know all." Step.

"And those who interfere in the training and complete submission of my sexy bitch will very much regret it." Step...

...Step, step.

"Very much." Step.

"Keep that in mind." Step.

"For!" She spread her feet to shoulder-width and pointed her finger at the screen threateningly, eyes widened psychotically.

"For... I never, ever punish my minions." She stabbed forward with her finger.

"Never." Stab.

"Ever." Stab...

...Stab stab.

"I merely punish..." She relaxed her arm and stance and took a step.

"I merely punish those who cause my minions to stray from the beaten path." Step.

"And if you are one of those people..." She stopped again and narrowed her eyes dangerously.

"If you are one of those people... Your soul... WILL BE MINE!"

She struck a psychotic dramatic pose, feet wide apart, right hand fisted in the air, eyes focused towards it, left hand fisted at waist level. "HA! HAHA! HAHA! HAHA!"

And she proceeded to laugh until Sesshoumaru got up, walked over to her, and smacked her upside the back of her head. Then... Then she fell flat on her face.

"Owww!" she whined.

"Get over yourself," Yuki snapped. Shadow glared at him while rubbing the back of her head.

"You're so boring. I would think an author would have appreciation for melodrama."

Yuki snorted and said nothing more.

"Thank you for your amusing little show, you whore," Yuri said, "but I don't take anything you say seriously, in the least. I just thought you might like to know that."

Shadow was suddenly over her pain and stood up, glaring. "Have you bothered reading those fanfictions you found yet?"

"What has that got to do with this?"

"Know thy anemone!" Shadow snapped, pointing. "KNOW thy ANEMONE! Keep friends close, but keep your anemones closer! I mean, look at me! For all you know, Sesshoumaru is my mortal anemone! But look how close I am to him!"

"You're just a whore. That doesn't mean you're close to him."

"I'm very close to Sesshoumaru-sama, my lord and master of all. Too close for him to ever be an anemone."

"Would you stop saying ANEMONE?" Inuyasha snapped. Shadow pointed at him.

"Silence, mortal!"

"I'm not--"

"SILENCE, MUTT!" she amended angrily. He glared. Koga smirked. Shadow continued in a much more casual tone, "Point is, you shouldn't not take me seriously. Read the chronicles of the past three and a half years of my life to see why."

"I don't have time to read a bunch of crap about somebody I hate," Yuri snobbed. Shadow rolled her eyes.

"Your loss. But when this entire establishment explodes because you failed to properly contain my stupidity, it's your own fault."

There was a short pause, then Yuri turned slightly on the screen to face Sesshoumaru more. "Did you sleep well, Beautiful?"

Shadow shrugged. "Your ignorance is my bliss..." She wandered off as Sesshoumaru replied coldly to the fangirl, "Actually, I did." A smirk curved Shadow's lips. Take that, slut!

"That's good!" Yuri continued cheerfully. "We have something fun in store for everyone today!"

There were multiple groans of disgust.

"No, it's seriously lots of fun!" Ayame added.

"It's not sexual," Yuri said. "It's a game!"

"I don't play games," Saitou stated coldly. Several others looked like they felt the same way.

"You'll like this one," Yuri told him. "Or else."

"Or else? So you're threatening them now?" Eclipse said suddenly, getting up from where she'd been laying through their entire exchange so far. "Threats, for your information, do not effect such strong and dignified men. Men like Sesshoumaru and Aoshi-sama and Mr. Sexy do not respond to threats... They overcome such things..."

"Shut up," Ayame snapped.

"YOU shut up!" Eclipse retorted.

"No! You!"

"You!"

"Ayame!" Yuri barked.

"Sorry," the other girl apologized.

"Heh heh heh..." Eclipse snickered. "I win."

"Shut up!"

"AYAME!" She turned toward the screen, "And YOU, stop, NOW!"

"Myeh, myeh, myeh," Shadow mocked. "Hey, by the way, I'm hungry."

"I don't care!"

"So am I," Yusuke pointed out suddenly. "I didn't eat dinner!"

"We'll get you breakfast!" the fanatics assured them. "Afterwards, we're going to have fun."

Several derogatory snorts echoed around the room.

Kurama was bored. Extremely bored. With no school work to distract, he had very few alternative options. So here he was, laying on the couch in his best friend's house. Just laying there. Doing nothing but laying. Glancing across the room, he saw that Hiei was suffering the same.

Hiei was bored. It was highly obvious. He was sitting in Shadow's recliner with the foot rest out, one leg straight out and the other bent. The side of his face was resting on his fist, elbow on the armrest, the fingers of his other hand occupied by sliding through Kokuei's long fur as she sat next to the chair.

"Hiei," the fox muttered.

"Eh."

"Wanna play cards...?"

"No."

"Didn't think so... Neither do I."

"Then why'd you ask..."

"I 'unno..."

'Heey, Shuichi.'

Kurama scrunched his eyes closed tightly when Youko's voice spoke in his mind.

'Hey Shuichi?'

He let out an annoyed groan, and the fox snapped, 'Hey Stupid! Just respond, dammit!'

'What do you want, Youko?'

'Your brooding is extremely boring. I find it hard to believe that you could become so attached to that girl. What happened to everything I taught you?'

'You never taught me anything useful, kitsune.'

'Well fine, unappreciative brat. Whatever. Point is, you know there's currently nothing you can do, so just make the most out of your time. Hiei was. He was training excessively... Then he got drunk, but that's beside the point.'

'There's a point?'

'Stop brooding.'

Kurama sighed. 'I'm not brooding.'

'Bullshit.' There was a short pause of silence. 'Well. If you won't entertain yourself, your host, or me... I will.'

With an extremely unexpected surge of energy that Kurama was definitely not prepared for, Youko switched their roles. Kokuei's ears perked up and she tilted her head to the side. Hiei didn't even bother opening his eyes.

"Hello, Youko."

"Hello, Hiei. Been a while since I've been about, hasn't it?"

"Yeah... Didn't miss you."

"Your love for me is evident."

"Love is the last thing I feel for you, fox."

"Aww. Is little Hiei being grouchy?" He got to his feet and crossed the room. Kokuei jumped up and scurried away. Hiei took this as a warning and finally opened his eyes, a bit too late, as he found himself suddenly swept off the chair and into a tight hug.

"Argh! Get off me you dumb bastard!"

"Stop brooding, Hiei!" He set the smaller demon down and Hiei glared up at him, straightening his shirt. "C'mon. Get off your little ass and do something amusing."

"How about if I catch your hair on fire?"

The fox grinned and ruffled Hiei's spikey hair. "Aww, you wouldn't."

"Dare me?"

Youko's face grew serious. "If you caught my hair on fire, Hiei, I would be forced to make sure you regretted it."

"Ha."

"You don't believe me?"

"I don't think you could do anything to me to make me regret it."

The fox's smirk grew wide again. "Oh really? Is that a challenge?"

Hiei allowed himself to smirk as well. "I dare you."

Youko chuckled. "Oh, Hiei. You shouldn't have said that..." His hand shot forward, and Hiei suddenly wasn't there.

"Too slow." The fire demon stood in the doorway. Youko spun and ran at him, very nearly hurdling the couch, and the fire demon turned and sped out of the house, slamming the door behind him to delay the fox further.

Quickly exiting the house, Youko spotted Hiei headed for the forest and smirked. Silly little demon ought to know better... Regardless, the fox took off after him.

Hiei quickly realized his error when, after about five minutes of chasing, the fox was gaining steadily, and he was encountering obstacles that had not been there the previous day.

"Damn fox!" he snapped, narrowly dodging a vine.

"It's your own fault," Youko said, catching up to the fire demon and running next to him.

"Shut up!" he swung at the fox and vines shot out of nowhere and wrapped tightly around his wrist. His eyes widened, and he quickly found his other three limbs bound tightly by the leafy plants as Youko stood in front of him, smirking.

"Dirty fox!" he snapped. The fox just smiled.

"I'll tell you again, Hiei. It's your own fault. Now... What shall I do to make sure you never do anything to me you'll regret...?"

"Can't I just promise?"

"A promise is just words, Hiei."

The fire demon jerked his arms in towards his body, trying to rid himself of the plants which held him captive, but it quite effectively failed, drawing a sharper smirk from his captor.

"Oh, come on, fox. I didn't even do anything. This is stupid."

"Aren't you having fun, Hiei?"

"No! This is stupid!" He struggled again, and the vines slithered further up his arm, getting a tighter, more secure hold. "Stupid fox! I'm serious!"

"So am I."

"Come on! This isn't right, what if Koenma finds out something about Shadow and I'm tied up in the forest at your mercy!"

Youko looked quite unconcerned. "Then you'll have to get free, I suppose." A slightly lecherous smirk curved his lips. "And you are at my mercy..."

Hiei's eyes widened. "Y-you're not gonna..."

"I'm not gonna what, Hiei?" He stepped closer and bent down to be more at the captive demon's level.

"Rape me."

"Rape you?" His ears twitched as his eyes widened with surprise. "Hiei, I've never raped anyone! If I had any desire to have sex with you... You'd be begging for it by the time I was done with you."

"Well then it's a good thing you have no desire to have sex with me," Hiei said in a voice that struggled to hide the underlying question. Youko tilted his head.

"Did I ever say that?"

"...No..." he answered with widened eyes. "...You don't, do you?"

The fox straightened and sighed, crossing his arms and turning away. "I don't know," he sighed vaguely, his voice holding a smirk.

"Youko Kurama! You don't, do you!"

He turned back to the fire demon. "Hiei, I'm just about willing to have sex with anyone after these eighteen or so years without."

"Anyone? Good, then when Karasu comes back--"

"Anyone but Karasu."

"Kuwabara?"

"Anyone but Karasu and Kuwabara."

"Then how about you just seduce Yusuke and fuck his brains out?"

Youko's ears twitched. "Now there's an idea."

"Then again, you could always give Kurama a go at Eclipse, then you can have her afterwards."

"Poor girl. She'd never want him again."

'Thanks a lot, sick fox.'

'You're welcome, Shuichi.'

'Why don't you let Hiei go?'

'I want to make him squirm first...'

'You're doing a bad job of it.'

'Shut up. I haven't even started yet.'

Hiei was looking at the fox curiously when he returned his attention back to him.

"I apologize," he said politely, smiling. "Shuichi wanted word with me."

"About you claiming that his girlfriend wouldn't want anything to do with him after you were through with her? Yes, I can understand why he may want a word with you about that."

The fox shrugged. "Now, where were we?"

"We were at the point where you were about to let me go free so I could kick your ass for tying me up."

"No... I think we were talking about how horny I am."

Hiei faltered and paled almost undetectably. "Were we now..."

"Yes..." He stepped closer to the nervous captive. "Yes we were. We were talking about how I want to have sex with anyone... preferably someone very attractive..."

"Good thing I'm terribly unattractive, then, isn't it. Would you let me go now!" Hiei snapped.

"Oh, but Hiei... You are attractive..." He poked the tip of Hiei's nose with his fingertip. "Cute, in that sexy sort of way."

Hiei pulled away from the fox. "That's what Shadow says."

Youko sighed. "Of course you have to bring her up."

"What do you expect me to do?"

"I'm hitting on you!"

"And I'm trying not to think about that!"

"What if I started kissing you? Would you try not to think about it then?"

"Yes!"

"You wouldn't be able too. I'm too gifted."

"Let's not go there. Will you just let me go?"

"Hieiiii! You totally spoil my fun."

"My girlfriend is dead for all I know, and all you care about is having fun."

"She's not dead. You would know if she was."

"How?"

"You two have a bond." He shrugged. "It happens sometimes even if you don't want it to."

"So I'd know if she was hurt?"

"Yeah. Even across time. Do you have some sick feeling in your stomach?"

Hiei paused, then shook his head. "No."

"Then I'm sure she's perfectly fine."

"OMIGOD, I'M BEING RAPED!"

Shadow spun around to punch whoever had just tapped her on the shoulder and found it was Karasu. So she punched him anyways.

"You scared the shit out of me!"

He rubbed his cheek. "Well it's not my fault you're so raptured by eating Sesshoumaru-sama's breakfast that you wouldn't notice if your hair was on fire..."

"I would so!"

"Then how come you haven't noticed yet?" Eclipse asked. Shadow screamed.

"My HAIR'S ON FIRE!" Her hands went to her head and she patted around insanely, then shrieked, "IT IS NOT!" Eclipse stole her portion of Sesshoumaru's breakfast and inhaled it before she'd calmed down. When Shadow turned back to get her food, she found it quite gone. Accusing red eyes shot to Eclipse first, whose cheeks were puffed out from the stolen food like a hamster's. The blue-eyed girl cowered, and Shadow stood up, towering over her... and spun around to point across the room at Inuyasha.

"You dirty halfbreed! You stole my FOOD!"

"What!" he yelped. She flew slowly through the air like a deflated balloon, all wavy and rubbery and whatnot, all the way across the room to Inuyasha. Whom she promptly tackled with all the forced of a small deflated balloon, and ended up on her ass at his feet.

"You die!" she snapped, pointing at him. Her leg swung straight up and nailed him in the crotch. Then she got up and took off on her hands and feet, scurrying across the room to where Sesshoumaru was leaning against one of the un-obvious walls, and flung her arms around his leather-clad leg, hugging it tightly.

"Protect me from your scary brother, Sesshoumaru-sama! If he ever gets up off the floor, he's bound to attack me with his scary iron stealer soul reaver!"

"Soul Reaver is a video game," Eclipse told the girl. "You got the name of his move wrong. Now he's really gonna kick your ass."

"OHH! WOE IS ME IF MY GREAT LORD DOES NOT PROTECT ME!"

Karasu crossed his arms. "Why does Sesshoumaru put up with that, but if I go near him he kicks my ass?"

"Because that is a girl," Yusuke told him. "That is a very stubborn girl with no real sexual interest in Sesshoumaru whatsoever, because she has a boyfriend."

"No real sexual interest, my foot!" Shadow snapped. "I would fuck him in a heartbeat!"

Eclipse sighed. "Wouldn't we all..."

"Well, I don't know about the rest of them, but I wouldn't," Roy said from nearby. Eclipse let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Goddd! Straight men are sooo boring."

"What about Kurama?"

"Kurama's not straight, he has secret affairs with Hiei."

Shadow risked removing one arm from its tight hold around Sesshoumaru's leg to point at her friend threateningly. "Silence, mortal! If Kurama was having affairs with Hiei, they would be no secret to me! For I know ALL! And those two never go anywhere together without me spying on them."

"I'm tellin' them..." Yusuke threatened. Shadow shrugged, returning her arm to its previous place around Fluffy's leg.

"Not like they can stop me."

Meanwhile, they'd gotten distracted from Inuyasha, who now came rocketting across the room.

"Get off my leg," Sesshoumaru snarled. Shadow was off in a second, standing next to Tsume and Kiba as Inuyasha swung his claws at his brother. Sesshoumaru dodged, having altered his usual fighting style, and swung his fist into the side of Inuyasha's face. The halfbreed stumbled from the hit, and shortly they were beating the crap out of each other once more.

The screen flicked on above their heads.

"Did everyone enjoy their--OH MY GOD!"

Inuyasha's second of distraction was enough to give Sesshoumaru the upper hand easily, and he slammed his booted foot right into his younger sibling's stomach. The hanyou fell onto his ass and coughed for a second, then wiped his mouth and looked up at his elder brother. There was a moment of silence, then he started chuckling.

"What are you laughing about?" Sesshoumaru snapped.

"It's just... really hard to take you seriously... when you're dressed like a man-whore!" He cracked up. A growl bubbled up from deep in the inuyoukai's chest, and Miroku and Kenshin quickly ran over and dragged the laughing hanyou away to avoid further injury on his behalf.

Eclipse and Shadow were quickly at Sesshoumaru's sides.

"You don't look like a man-whore, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"You look beautiful, as always, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Inuyasha doesn't know what he's talking about, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Inuyasha is a very stupid child, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Do you want us to take out your revenge for you, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"We would be very glad to, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"We'll do anything you ask of us, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Go away."

"Except for that, Sesshoumaru-sama."

He sighed heavily.

"HEY!" a voice snapped. It was Yuri again, on the big screen. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!"

"No," Sesshoumaru said calmly, his hands landing on the two girls' shoulders.

"No?" Yuri seemed confused, then chuckled slightly. "S-Sesshoumaru, darling, you're confused. Those two are the bad ones. I'm the good one."

The demon lord shook his head. "I like these two a lot more than I like you. And I don't even like them."

Shadow and Eclipse wiped mock tears away from their eyes. "I-I feel so loved..."

Yuri's face grew cold. "I need to talk to you."

ZAP! He was gone. Shadow and Eclipse screamed, and threw themselves into the arms of the two nearest men: Aoshi and Saitou. Why they were nearest, I don't know. But they didn't appreciate the two girls' actions, and promptly flung them to the floor.

Sesshoumaru, meanwhile, was having just a peachy time being bitched at.

"I don't know why those two girls are here, why they haven't died or been killed yet, but we will find a way to dispose of them. They've gotten away every time so far, but they won't keep that up for long. In the mean time, we're going to pretend they aren't here, darling. They aren't here. If they do anything to you, ignore them. Or better yet, hit them."

"I don't think so."

"Sesshoumaru, I gave you an order!"

"I have no obligation to obey orders from a weak mortal like you."

"I'M YOUR WIFE!"

"I'm not married. And if I were, I still would not obey anyone. Not even my wife."

"But you love me!"

"I love no one."

"Sesshoumaru!"

"Return me to my rightful home."

"No! You're my husband! MY HUSBAND!" she sobbed, throwing herself at him. He sidestepped and her face met the floor real quick.

"I hate you. Not only because you have taken me as your prisoner and forced me into this disgusting outfit, but because you forced me to kiss that bastard Karasu, and because you think you can control my life. Return me to my lands."

"NO!"

"I will not ask you again."

"NO! NO, NO, NO!" She punched his shoulder. "LOVE ME!" She hit him again, in the chest. "LOVE ME!"

Freakin' psycho! He caught her wrists. "Listen to me very closely," he snarled. She looked at him with a tear-streaked face. "I. Hate. You. Now at least return me to the holding area with the others."

"No." She sniffled slightly and wiped her eyes when he released her wrist. "We're all going to play a game, remember?" Again, she sniffled. "We were going to have fun today..."

"I don't have fun."

"Please, Sesshoumaru? For me?"

"I will do nothing for you."

"IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S GOING TO HURT YOU!" she shrieked. He didn't respond, but merely looked at her with cold eyes. She glared back with puffy red eyes, then spun and strode over to a control panel on the wall.

ZAP! Fluffy reappeared, right in the middle of a fistfight between, who else? Shadow and Eclipse. They froze instantly and flung their arms around him, simultaneously squealing a short "Fluffy!"

"The second you vanished, they attempted to kill each other arguing over who you liked more," Sanosuke told him from nearby, where, from the looks of him, he'd been knocked over and stomped on a few times.

"I hate them both equally," the demon replied. The two girls made appalled, indignant noises and flung themselves away from him with pouts on their faces.

"Fine! See if we ever come to your rescue again!"

"I don't need you to rescue me. Your last attempt landed me in these... detestable clothes..."

"I like those clothes," Shadow, Eclipse, and Karasu replied in unison. The bulk of Sesshoumaru's anger was directed towards Karasu, who was sitting off to the side with his back towards the group.

Before any carnage could be inacted, the screen above their heads turned on and a girl appeared. Some of the bishounen recognized her as one of the "security" girls. Those who couldn't read the bright yellow word emblazoned on her pink form-fitting shirt were left in the dark.

"At this time, all of you will be transported to a more comfortable setting for our game."

"What's the game?" Yusuke asked before she could zap them all away.

"You'll see. You'll have fun."

Several disdainful snorts echoing around the room was all that was left of the bishounen one second later. Shadow and Eclipse were left standing, trembling and teary eyed, on opposite sides of the enclosure.

"THEY LEFT US! AGAIN!"

You love me, I know it. Well, you may now, but you probably will not like me after the next chapter... Actually, I don't remember what happens in the next chapter... So it's all good. Have fun with your lives until I update again, fanfic druggies. :P You know you love me...

By the way, you all need to check out the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series by Laurrell K. Hamilton. I have the first three books and I read them in two weeks. Around three days each. (I read the first, then had to wait a few days to get the next two). Start with "Guilty Pleasures," then "The Laughing Corpse," and third is "Circus of the Damned." Yes, all the books have pleasant titles like that. I think there's 12 in the series. I'm on a vampire/supernatural obsession right now... It shouldn't influence my fics...

-SJ