Title: A Little Respect
Author: Misty Flores
Teaser: Pursuing a relationship with Aiden after discovering Bianca in bed with Babe, Maggie begins to question even her own self worth when she finds herself delving deeper into a baby kidnapping mystery, and an intense love triangle.
Part Thirty-Five
Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
But I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how
To let you go
I don't know how
To let you go
-- Do What You Have To Do, Sarah McLachlan
There was no shade on that rooftop.
Letting herself out of her mother's arms, Bianca hurriedly wiped a tear away, somehow suddenly too weak to do much else.
A splash of faded color caught her eye, and Bianca was careful as felt herself sink down onto cold concrete, to pluck a small, discarded, dying rose. The remnants of her giant, idiotic feat.
She smiled bitterly, rolling the desaturated flower in her fingers, watching as it danced carefully in a circle, above the curved stem.
"Was this part of your plan?"
Casting a look behind her, Bianca watched as her mother took one of her own, a white rose that was still clinging to life, brown at the edges, but still beautiful.
Rising to her feet, Bianca stepped forward, carefully taking it out of her mother's hands, putting it together with her red one.
"Bianca. Darling, you know I love you. And I know in the past we've had our problems. But, I've never seen you this selfish."
Startled, Bianca's numbness gave way to instant pain, as she exhaled sharply, locking eyes with her tiny mother, who wore a look of disappointment, the likes of which Bianca hadn't seen before.
A last bit of pride, stubborn defensiveness kicked in, as her palms fell and her voice grew hard with hurt and determination. "Mother, I love Maggie. I know you don't believe it. I know you've never approved-"
"I realized how deep your friendship with Maggie went the moment she took that dive with you off that balcony, Bianca. The moment that Maggie, bruised and broken, cradled you in her arms and cried, I know the love that existed between you was something much more than friendship."
Frozen, Bianca could only gape, until she shook herself free with a fierce snort, disbelief causing her to shake her head. "Then why did you offer her and Aiden all that money? Why did you-"
"I thought it was all one sided, Bianca." Erica's voice was heavy. Stark. "I believed Maggie had a hopeless crush and I was doing what I could to help her move on."
"How could you do that?" she whispered, so beyond her own control she could barely manage the words, pushing them out of a crushed chest.
"Because, while it's all very well and good to tell me and everyone else in Pine Valley how much you love her, this," she snapped, lifting Bianca's palm with surprising strength, shaking her own hand and roses in her face, "Isn't exactly proving it." Stupefied, Bianca's mouth opened, than closed, hesitant, overwhelmed breathes gasping in and out, as her mother's dark, fierce eyes bored into her with the calculated intelligence of a snake. "In all of this, Bianca - you never took Maggie's feelings into account. You never stopped to consider what it would do to her reputation in this town, to her own turmoil."
She was crying, she realized, as the wetness slid hotly onto her cheek. Lifting a finger against her skin, she swiped at a tear slowly, carefully. Trembling, Bianca felt like a child again, staring beseechingly at her mother, lost and drowning.
"Mother," she whispered, an aching, scared plea. "Don't you want to see me happy?"
She said it so brokenly, so frightened, that her mother's eyes warmed, and Bianca closed her eyes when her heart jumped as her mother tenderly caressed her cheeks, a loving touch.
"Oh, darling," she heard, her mother's voice stained with tears. "Of course I do."
Her eyes open, shining beacons into her desperate, fragile turmoil that came from having so much of her life stolen from her.
"Maggie," came the ragged words. "Maggie, Mommy. Maggie makes me happy."
"Oh, honey, I know that. I do." A small, careful smile lifted her mother's mouth. "But is how you want to start your future? With lies? With this hurt behind you? Is this how you want to remember the story? What brought you and Maggie together was scheming and hurt?" Bianca's eyes closed, her shoulders shook. "Baby, you might think I'd be the last to give you advice, but honey, I've done everything this way. It never lasted. It never worked. The love of my life? Jackson? It took us 17 years to get it right."
Her eyes opened slowly. "What if I can't wait that long?" she managed roughly.
Erica's gaze was tear streaked, but firm. "If you truly love her, Bianca, and if it's how long it will take for this mess to undo itself, then, honey, you have to wait. You have to be willing to wait for Maggie, no matter what. That's the only way you'll ever see that girl in your arms now."
--
The MacDonald's bags made noise as Jamie wrinkled them in his hands, juggling between them and the sodas, shooting Maggie not so subtle glances of concern.
The smell of the fast food was making her a little sick, but she didn't have the heart to tell him now. Jamie's wide-eyed, careful concern was the only thing that didn't frighten her now, and haunted by Bianca and her words, said over looking the hell that had become Pine Valley, Maggie wanted nothing more but to sink into his arms and cry.
"Hope the fries aren't cold," he said, peaking into the bag.
She arched an eyebrow, a moment of bemusement filtered through her tired haze of desperation. "You mean the ones you didn't already eat?"
He actually looked offended. "Hey! I left almost a whole bag for you!"
There wasn't time for a retort. Turning her head, Maggie found herself nearly tripping on her cast, when she discovered a pretty brunette, slumped against Jamie's door.
"Robin," she breathed, as Jamie slowed down beside her, and they both took in Aiden's cousin, scrambling to her feet, eying them both.
"Hey..." she managed, nervous as she brushed fingers behind her ear, nodding to them both like a energetic chicken, mouth pressed together. "Hey." Chest tightening, Maggie began to search the hall. "Oh, he's not here." Robin stepped forward, arms wrapped around herself. "I just... I didn't come... for him. I just wanted to... I wanted to see if you were okay. Consider me Switzerland from now on." Maggie licked her lips, sighing deeply, as Robin, anxious blush making her almost animated, switched focus to politely nod to Jamie. "Hi. I'm Robin."
He watched for a long moment. "Jamie," he said finally. "I'd offer to shake, but..."
"No, it's fine, I just..." Maggie only kept looking, and Robin shoulders slumped, sighing raggedly. "I can go."
In that, Maggie found her voice. Shaking her head, she smiled half heartedly. "You don't have to. I have two cheeseburgers. Feel free."
Head down, she moved past Robin and fumbled with Jamie's spare key, opening the door, and staring into an apartment that had nothing to do with her.
In that action, she lost herself all over again.
Moving forward, she searched the apartment fitfully, looking at Jamie's old furniture and t-shirts hanging all over the place.
"Maggie?"
The couch was soft and hard at the same time, and she clung to it fitfully. Two bodies surrounded her, watching her like she was a bottle about to go off at any moment, and she closed her eyes against it, filled with sudden loathing.
"I just... I hate this place," she whispered suddenly. "I just want to leave. I just want to pick up my stuff and get out of here. Just leave Pine Valley for good. Get away from this place and every thing it means."
Her companions had nothing to say to that, until there was a shift and a heavy, male body slipped in beside her.
Jamie clasped his hands together, looking hard at the carpeted floor. "Are you really ready for that?"
"I have to be," she said quietly. "I have to go. I can't be here anymore."
It was her fight of flight instinct, and now, sitting here, she found herself unable to resist it, to break the hold of Bianca and Aiden and every person she could never please and now hardly wanted to.
"If you go," Jamie said gruffly. "I'm going with you. But Maggie, I ran away. I ran away and it didn't help."
"You ran away with a baby," she snapped, the words acidic and harsh. "Don't make this the same."
Maybe she hurt him. She didn't care.
"Hey Jamie?" There was another voice, thrown in, one that Maggie had almost forgotten was there, until Robin stepped forward carefully, eyes on her friend. "Can I speak to Maggie for a minute?"
Swallowing, Maggie watched as Jamie silently nodded, and Robin settled down in front of her, beautiful face, pale and eyes bright despite their somber quality.
"What?" Maggie asked, dull, careful.
Robin stared at her for a long minute, as if struggling, and suddenly, she glanced down, hands nervously twitching, before looking back up.
"This isn't about Aiden," Robin said suddenly. "I'm not asking you to stay for him." Maggie narrowed her eyes, watched her carefully. "I want you to stay for Anna."
A slow chill ran down her spine. "What?"
Robin let out a ragged breath, and somehow began again. "Okay... I get this is..."
"You're pulling out your mom?" Jamie asked. "Is that why you're here? Pulling another one for Aiden by sticking your mom in her face?"
Robin's head shot up. "NO! That's not what I'm doing!"
"Is she just some wild card in your arsenal? You don't give a damn what's best for Maggie, you just care about your damn family!"
Robin looked absolutely dumbstruck. "You don't know anything about me, Jamie. And I know about what you did so don't start getting self righteous and hypocritical on me now. I've done plenty of running myself, and all it does is make you more miserable and more alone. This isn't about Aiden."
"Then what is it about?" Maggie's voice was tired, flat.
Robin glanced back at her, mouth opening, closing, before she shook her head and her shoulders slumped, as if battling herself. "I'm sick, Maggie. I mean, I'm healthy, now, but I don't..." She lost her composure, head ducking, voice breaking. "I don't know how long I can keep- Every day it's T cells and - every night I go to sleep thinking I can wake up sicker than I was, and I don't ever care, I just..." Robin's hands pressed against her face, shaking in her emotion. "I just know that there's a very real possibility, that my mother will outlive me." Her eyes sparkled in their sincerity. "She thinks of you as a daughter. And God, Maggie. I don't want her to lose both of us."
In that selfless plea, Maggie's tears began to slip, Robin's sarcasm and ill mannered jokes falling aside to reveal her deepest fear, and there was nothing she could do, but take the trembling Robin in her embrace, and hold her there.
--
Fusion was surprisingly low key, and Anna Devane kept her eyes clear and sharp, as she looked down at the two founders like a hawk surveying her prey.
"She's coming!" Kendall told her, twitching in her seat like a nervous schoolgirl. "I just called her!"
Anna cocked an eyebrow. "Thank you, Kendall."
That she hadn't done anything at all since entering but ask for Erica had probably scared both women more than if she had launched into a tirade.
Their childish behavior had to be dealt with accordingly, and like a frightening teacher, Anna did much more with less.
In the course of her enigmatic stare sternly on them both, Greenlee had lost all color, and Kendall couldn't seem to keep still.
"You know it was all her idea," Greenlee suddenly burst. When Kendall elbowed her, she glared. "What? Tell me it wasn't."
"You're such a tattle tale."
"You're such an enabler."
"You're such a bitch."
"You're such a..." When Anna coughed, interrupting the conversation, Greenlee managed a shaky smile. "She started it."
"Anna Devane."
Turning, Anna regarded her old rival, a woman who, by the looks of it, hadn't changed at all. "Erica Kane." Behind her, came a girl with tear streaked eyes, nervous and careful. "Bianca."
"This is a surprise."
"I have to admit I surprised myself in coming here," Anna acknowledged, hands in her pockets, ignoring Erica's lingering look at her short, cropped hair. "I won't bother with niceties," she said sharply. "I came to you because I want to put an end to this... war."
Erica Kane narrowed her eyes, hands on her hips. "And you assumed I had something to do with this."
"Not at all," she said easily. "But as the matriarch of this family, I figured you would be the person who would be most capable of calling this truce. Maggie's heart is not a prize, nor is it a treasure to be stolen. It is her own, to be given to whomever she seems fit. This is doing nothing to help."
"Anna..." came a trembling, young voice."I just want to say-"
"Bianca," Erica snapped, cutting off her daughter with a wave of her hand. "Is this your role now, Anna? Are you playing surrogate mother to Maggie? Looking out for her best interests?"
"Someone has to," she answered, voice even. "My reasons are as selfish as the next. I love Maggie like a daughter, it's true. I want her to be whole."
"Anna, I'm sorry-"
"Maggie-"
"No, mother." Bianca came forward, wiping sweaty hands on designer pants. "No, I did this, I have to fix it." Looking deeply into her eyes, Anna waited, as the young woman took another step, careful and reverent. "Anna, you're right. Kendall, Greenlee, I appreciate, what you did, but... it's over. I did this all wrong. I can't earn Maggie's love this way. I have to love Maggie no matter what, not with stunts or roses or... a damn tabloid. Maggie loved me without reservation or condition. It's time I do the same."
The words were mature, thoughtful, broken, and in them, Anna found her hope.
Eyes on Bianca, she let out an uneasy sigh. "Well, Erica," she said, louder, glancing at the great Kane. "Does that meet your approval?"
Erica Kane, however, seemed to be on different wavelength altogether. "Anna, I have some lovely wigs."
--
To knock on her front door like she was a stranger was surreal and she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Maggie kept the betraying doubts out of her head, as she waited, holding her hand plastered against her sling, bottom lip sucked into her mouth, a sign of her agitation.
Catching up, Robin gave her a breathless sigh, before her friend opened the door for her, careful to push it open and let her walk in first, a small, minute moment of deference, but one that mattered.
"He might be here," she warned her, low, under her breath, and Maggie smiled bitterly.
"It's okay," she said quietly, even as she stopped and spotted him on the couch, beautiful dark eyes that caught with hers, sunk her deep within herself. "It's okay."
Standing between them, Robin seemed at a loss as to what to do, until Maggie squeezed her hand and offered her a comforting smile. Glancing at Aiden, his cousin finally only shook her head, breathing out raggedly, "Where's Mom?"
"She's not here," Aiden returned, in a careful, odd voice, eyes never leaving Maggie's. "Maggie..." Rising to his feet, he pled to her with beautiful brown eyes, and Maggie almost closed her eyes against them, before she glanced fitfully at Robin and hobbled as best she could to the couch.
Stiff, uncomfortable, she sank down onto the cushion, so small against the tall form looking down at her.
After a minute, he sat down with her, forearms on his knees.
"I don't know how to fix this," she finally breathed, unsure what else to say.
"I know." He had a rough tinge in his throat, and Maggie's eyes shut tight, emotion and love for Aiden still inside of her, making her ache. "Listen, Maggie... I know it's hard. I know... there's a lot of work that we have to do, but... it doesn't change that I love you. And the time that I had with you was..." Rubbing roughly at his hair, he closed his eyes and sucked in his breath yet again. "I don't know what we can do. What I do know, is that if you still want me, Maggie, I will do whatever it takes, to make it work."
The door, rattling in it's frames, pervading into the silence, kept Maggie silent, shut down, saved from having to answer when Aiden's beautiful brown eyes tore from hers and lifted upon the visitors.
An uneasy, hesitant gasp filtered in behind her, as Maggie turned as carefully as she could and was struck speechless, as Bianca stood beside Anna, staring at them both.
Startled, no one could say anything, as Maggie stared beseechingly at them both, frozen in silence.
"I'm sorry," Bianca breathed suddenly, hands coming out of her pockets. "I didn't know you'd be here, I swear. I didn't -" Aiden's jaw hardened, squared, and Bianca only shook her head harder, eyes bright with unshed emotion. The visible trembling did something odd to Maggie's heart, kept her still as Bianca pressed her mouth shut, struggling for control. "I was looking for you, Aiden, I didn't... I'll just... I'll just say what I have to say and then I'll go." Her eyes lingered on Maggie, then darted away, as if Bianca didn't trust herself.
"Bianca..." Aiden began roughly, rising.
"Aiden, I'm not here to start anything." Bianca sad smile grew crooked, running long fingers through brunette strands. "I just wanted to say, that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry - I don't know - I do know what came over me, but it doesn't excuse what I did. You risked your life and your love to help me find my baby and I didn't even have the decency to thank you for it. Instead I went and singlehandedly destroyed your life and Maggie's reputation, and I can't ever say I'm sorry enough. What I can do, is say it's over. I know that's not enough, but it's all I can do." Bianca's smile became too weak to hold onto, as her eyes slid onto Maggie's, locked there.
Maggie couldn't look away, so intent on Bianca's fragile face, her soft, careful tone. "Maggie, I'm sorry. I'm not going to bother you, anymore. I'm done with theatrics and proclamations. I love you. I love you so much. I'll never stop, and it's okay that you don't believe me. It won't stop me from loving you. It's my turn to wait for you. I get that. I'll wait forever for you, and I'll accept anything you're willing me to give me. Friendship. Civility. A nod on the street when you walk my way. It doesn't matter what you do, or if you never love me back like you once did - I'll love you forever." And Bianca was crying, struggling through her words, as she reached forward with her words and her tears, and squeezed Maggie's heart so tightly she lost her ability to breathe. Nodding resolutely, Bianca didn't bother to wipe her tears. She simply nodded at them both, careful and tender, and then walked past Anna and closed the door behind her.
--
Anita came to her door at six that evening.
Bianca greeted the pretty Santos girl with a weary smile, as her friend tangled fingers in knots and asked as gently as she could if she could come in.
"Please," Bianca said breathlessly, stepping back and sweeping her hand into the apartment, closing the door shut behind her.
"I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me, after all that happened," Anita said carefully, standing in the middle of her apartment like an unsure teenager.
Bianca's smile was a sad one. "It's me that you owes you an apology, Anita. I never should have done what I did. You were right."
Anita's smile was sad. "I wish things had turned out differently. I'll never lie about that."
"You were trying to do what was right. I was thinking with my heart, not my head."
"Maybe that's a good thing." Anita sank down beside the play pen, discovering Miranda with a genuine grin, pressing her hand against the mesh wall. "You were following your heart. I only wish I had your courage."
Picking up a carefully strewn toy, Bianca licked her lips at the implication. "Well, we both did what we thought was right, and we're both back where we started."
"Without the wine and the eighties new wave," Anna corrected, and Bianca smiled sadly. "You know, Anna Devane came by WildWind. She was calling off the 'dogs'." Anita pressed her palms to Miranda's, through the pen. "She called it a war."
"Isn't it always?" Bianca asked softly. "Whatever it is, it's over now."
Anita glanced up. "What do you mean?"
Bianca stared down at the small bear she held in her lap. "I promised myself I wouldn't abandon Maggie. I wouldn't walk away from her. Not this time. And it didn't do much good. I think I have to now. With the tabloids and... everything. First when I got Miranda back, and now this... I don't think I've been in them this much since I was first outted." Anita's eyes narrowed in concern. "The Cambias board wants someone to go to Paris to head up the International headquarters there. I didn't take it seriously at first, but... the more I think about it... the better an idea it seems."
"You'd leave Pine Valley?"
Bianca smiled bitterly. "Does it sound like running away?"
"A little bit."
"I just... I think it's the best thing. For Miranda. For me. For Maggie. It'll give me time to breathe. To get away from Maggie and let her deal without having to... hear about me or... see me all the time. And I have to start thinking about what's best for Miranda. I want to live a life away from her mother's penchant for landing in the tabloids. I know what that's like and I don't want it for her."
Anita rose slowly to her feet, settled down beside her. "Could you walk away from Maggie, Bianca?"
"Walking away wouldn't change how much I love her," Bianca told her quietly. "Nothing would."
Anita nodded slowly, blowing out her breath.
"When do you make the decision?"
"I told Ethan I'd go about a half hour ago."
Anita's stare was dark, deep. "I'll miss you, Bianca." At the door, came a series of slow, steady thuds. Interrupted, Anita looked up, and smiling in apology, she got up, heading for the door. "I'll get that."
"Whoever it is, send them away," Bianca muttered, picking at her teddy. "Can't say I'm in the mood for the company of anyone who isn't already in here."
Anita grinned, chucked the door open.
Glancing down at the teddy bear, Bianca licked her lips, eyes lifting to her baby girl when Anita whispered a choked, "Maggie."
Jerking her head up, Bianca's eyes widened, stumbling off the couch when Maggie Stone, wearing a frozen expression and a tight, uneasy stance, glanced unsteadily from her to Anita.
"Maggie..." Bianca breathed, the teddy dropping from her hands.
"I can go if you're busy," Maggie whispered stiffly.
Battling her inward turmoil, Bianca wasn't capable of words. Instead, she stiffly pleaded to Anita with her eyes, and thankfully, her understanding friend took the hint.
"Don't," Anita said immediately. "I was already leaving."
Stepping wide, Anita let the smaller girl in, and offering Bianca an unsteady smile, closed the door behind her, shutting Maggie in with her.
The woman she loved looked exhausted and scared, and Bianca found herself frozen, completely unsure what to do, as she stood in the middle of the room, staring at her with a beseeching, surprised expression.
"Maggie..." she tried, forcing the word through the tightness of her throat.
"I broke up with Aiden." Maggie's words were stiff, but they slid into her heart like a knife through butter. "And it's not because of you, but because I'm a confused mess and I don't think Aiden deserves to deal with that. He wants to marry me, and I'm not ready."
Bianca swallowed hard, doing her best to try to keep herself from showing any emotion, to stay completely still, like a soldier at attention, waiting for the next direction, indication at how to proceed.
Her beautiful Maggie stared at her with hollow, sad eyes. "I'm not leaving. I told Anna I'd stay. But I needed to be by myself."
Bianca's throat closed in on itself, but she swallowed it down with effort, opening for a breathless sigh. "What can I do to help you?" she asked, as carefully, sincerely as she could.
Maggie stared at her, eyes boring into her with such desperate solitude, it made Bianca ache.
"I need my best friend, Bianca," she said suddenly, voice breaking in emotion. "I'm so scared and tired and confused, and I just need you. I need my best friend. I don't know, I'm not ready for anything else, and I don't know if I'll ever be. I just need you. I need my friend. The one who could tell me it would all be okay, and I could believe her. Is that okay?"
Broken, Bianca's heart flared suddenly, and she wiped at her tears, gulping down her own sob to stay perfectly still, perfectly strong for her Maggie. "Maggie, that's more than okay for me."
Her arms opened, and when Maggie carefully folded herself into them, Bianca shut her eyes, as her best friend's trembling, frail form shuddered in her arms, broken and wounded from her own love.
Carefully, gently, Bianca kept her close, running fingers gently through darkened hair, feeling her own erratic heartbeat.
Later, hours, minutes, she carefully spooned her friend on her bed, forehead falling against Maggie's shoulder, as fingers clasped against her own.
Here, at the end of all things.
"It'll be okay," she whispered.
end chapter