(Sunday, December 4, 2005) Some number of reviews... Thank you for all your reviews. It seems I've been getting less and less on this story as it progresses... Real inspiring. Oh well.
I need money... COME FASTER, CHRISTMAS!

CHAPTER JUU
Shallow and Three-Lips

Shadow stopped and sat down heavily. They'd been crawling for what seemed like ages, and she was getting extremely claustrophobic. Twice, they'd had several bags worth of trash come plummetting down the chute towards them and they'd been covered in anything from candy wrappers to a thong. That had been a particularly traumatic experience that had delayed them at least half an hour until Shadow had stopped screaming and thrashing about and shrieking and having a seizure.

"IT BURNS!" she'd screamed. "IT BURNS WORSE THAN THE HOTTEST FLAMES OF HELL!"

But she'd gotten over it, and was now crawling in the tunnel behind Eclipse. She was getting very tired of seeing nothing but grey metal walls and a black leather-clad ass in front of her face. So, she was going to take a break whether Mrs. Leader Lady liked it or not.

Mrs. Leader Lady liked it. She dropped down next to Shadow and groaned. "My knees and hands hurt... and my eyes are going to have the images of plain boring metal walls burned into them for the rest of eternity."

"That's okay," Shadow said. "My eyes are going to have an image of your ass burned into them for the rest of eternity."

"You know you like it."

"Psh. Like hell. Now, if it were Sesshoumaru..."

Little did they know, they were in a garbage chute right behind the wall of the white room, and every guy in there heard them.

"You're very disloyal," Eclipse retorted. "What would Hiei think?"

"Hiei would think Sesshoumaru has a nice ass too."

"What? Are you calling Hiei gay?"

"I'm saying Hiei has an appreciation for beauty."

"Oh, so now you're saying Fluffy has a beautiful ass."

If there was ever a time Sesshoumaru wished he could vanish, it was now. As it was, he just sat there and pretended not to hear them, and pretended everybody wasn't casting him looks to see his reaction.

"No, I'm saying Sesshoumaru is beautiful, and Hiei would admit it with the proper... coersion."

"Coersion. You mean like blowing him."

"Oh, come on. It wouldn't take that much for him to tell the truth about a simple matter such as the godly beauty of another man."

"Has he ever said Youko is beautiful?"

"No."

"Precisely."

"I've never tried to coerse that out of him, though. And I won't. I bet Youko is feeling him up as we speak."

"...I wanna watch..."

Shadow snorted. "Right. Let's get our boyfriends to fuck and let us watch."

In the white room, Yusuke's eyes widened and he couldn't help himself. He walked over to the wall they were behind and pounded on it with his fist. "YOU GUYS ARE SICK!"

The girls' heads snapped towards the voice in an instant. "YUSUKE?"

"YES, YUSUKE! YUSUKE OF THE WHITE ROOM WHERE EVERYONE IS HEARING YOU BATHE SESSHOUMARU'S ASS IN COMPLIMENTS!"

"WE AIN'T BATHIN' HIS ASS WITH ANYTHING!" Eclipse shouted, then thought, "But we'd like to."

"WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING THAT INVOLVED DISCUSSING HIS ASS, WE HEARD EVERY WORD OF IT! HE'S EXTREMELY EMBARRASSED RIGHT ABOUT NOW!"

"No I'm not," the inuyoukai denied.

"I'M SORRY, FLUFFY!" There was a loud thud and several curses. It could be assumed that she'd just tried to fling herself through the wall. It could also be assumed that it hadn't worked.

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING IN THERE?" Miroku shouted. "Aside from the ass comments."

"THEY TRIED TO KILL US!" Shadow returned.

"Shadow got a thong on her head when they shot garbage at us," Eclipse called. There were sounds of a scuffle from inside the wall.

"It's like having two giant talking mice in the wall," Sano noted absently. A few people cast him a funny glance. "What?"

"You didn't answer me," Miroku reminded.

"Do you know where we are right now?" Shadow asked angrily.

"In the wall."

"We're in the ducts in the wall that lead to various garbage disposals all over this frikkin' damn building. They threw us down the main chute into the incinerator, but my lightning reflexes and instincts saved both our asses," Shadow replied. "We haven't come across an exit yet. We have been crawling through this labyrinth of metal tunnels behind the walls, through all sorts of nasty garbage, for hours. We're totally lost, I'm feeling sick, and we haven't found an EXIT YET!"

"Well look at it this way," Yuki said. "If you throw up, at least no one will have to clean it up."

"Shut up, bitch!"

"Just sayin'..."

"Hey Shadow!" Yusuke called.

"What?"

"Why can't you use your powers of doom to get out?"

"Because that would be USEFUL!"

"No it wouldn't. It would cause a lot of pain and grief to all the fanatics, and plus, you could get back in here and cause a lot of grief and sorrow by harassing and molesting Sesshoumaru!"

"BUT IT WOULD BE USEFUL!"

"WELL WHAT EXCUSE DO YOU HAVE FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU ESCAPED DEATH BEFORE? WAS IT NOT USEFUL TO SAVE YOUR SKINS THEN?"

There was a long pause, then the ones with sensitive ears heard a quiet, "He has a point... How did you do it?" Everyone else just heard the crash and cry of pain that resulted from her comment.

"Are you okay?" Kenshin asked, concerned.

"I am," Shadow replied calmly. "I can't speak for Eclipse... She just got the heel of my boot impacted into her face... But I'm okay, and I feel better."

"Well that's all that matters, isn't it," Saitou muttered sarcastically.

"Yes! It is! Good boy!"

"Well..." Yusuke murmured thoughtfully. "When you find a garbage disposal and get out of those ducts, see what you can do about getting us out of this room and back home."

"Noo," Shadow said sarcastically. "I was just gonna try to get myself back into that room so I could sit here and wait for Koenma to get in gear and save our asses. Knowing him, we'll be here for another two months."

Hiei woke up early and in a bad mood. Koenma had pissed him off yesterday, and he hadn't gotten much sleep, so he was tired, and he didn't feel like making breakfast or even getting out of bed. After about half an hour of lying there awake with no hope of getting back to sleep, he decided he felt like lying there a little longer and pretending he might fall back asleep even though he knew he wouldn't.

There was a gentle knock on the door not long afterwards. "Hiei?"

It was Kurama. Not Youko, but the red-haired human. That was good. Hiei didn't feel like putting up with the fox's flirting. After a while, it started to get to you in more ways than one.

"Are you awake, Hiei?" His voice was soft. The door opened, but he didn't come any closer. After a minute, Hiei spoke up.

"Are you just gonna stare all day?" Kurama jumped. Hiei knew it.

"Oh, you are awake."

The fire demon rolled over and sat up. "Yeah. Have been for a while. What do you want?"

"You want some breakfast?"

It was barely light outside. "I want to sleep."

A soft smile shown on the redhead's face. "Koenma wants us in Reikai early. We have time for breakfast and showers, I'm sure. But we should be there early. I want Eclipse back."

Hiei sighed. "I know." He wanted Shadow back pretty badly as well.

"Take a shower. I'll make breakfast."

A short time later, Hiei ambled into the dining room wearing nothing but a pair of pants. Kurama was just walking in with two plates full of eggs and bacon and toast. He set one in front of Hiei and set the other in front of himself as he sat down. They started eating silently, but after a minute, Kurama stopped.

"Hiei, I'm sorry about what Youko did yesterday."

The fire demon glanced at him, chewing slowly on a piece of bacon. "Hn," he managed, then swallowed. "Don't bother."

With that settled, they finished breakfast in relative silence. Afterwards, Hiei cleaned up while Kurama took a shower. All set for another day slaving over paperwork in the name of love, they opened the door and it crashed into something on the porch with a dull thud and didn't move any more. Hiei looked perplexed and pulled the door closed and swung it open again with more force. Again, it stopped with a thud.

"What the..." He pushed and it slid slowly open farther. He managed to push himself through the space, ready to maul whatever was in the way if that proved necessary.

It didn't.

"Hiei, man, I haven't seen you in like, a long time!"

The fire demon started blankly. Kurama, curious, slid through the space as well, and peered around the door.

"Random Surfer Dude?"

"Dude! It's like a great big, like, reunion!"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Hiei asked, no anger in his voice, just confusion. "And why the fuck are you sitting outside the door so I couldn't open it? And why the fuck didn't you get up when I hit you with the door? Are you stupid?"

"Dude, I'm like, so sorry I didn't, like, tell you I was gonna drop by, but like, being random and all, it's like, totally kind of against the rules, dude."

Hiei blinked. "You have a point. Now why were you sitting outside the door like that? And why are you still sitting there?"

"Well, dude, you needed some help, so, like, I showed up... But, well, like, I had to carry your time machine, like, all the way here on my back, so, like, I'm kind of beat, dude."

"Time machine!" the two demons cried in unison. "Where?"

RSD pointed out towards the yard. They turned their heads in unison. There, in the middle of the yard, sat a sleek silver object, fairly tall and wide, but still sleek. It looked like a missile or a rocket.

"You carried that on your back?" Kurama asked. "What are you, Superman?"

"No, dude. It was pretty rough."

"Well, do you want something to drink or something? Are you okay?"

"Some water would be, like, pretty radical right now, dude."

"Okay, well... Um, if you could move a little bit..."

"You'll have to move me, dude. I'm beat."

"Um..." Kurama looked perplexed, then shrugged. "Hiei, get the door." He knelt next to RSD and draped one of his arms around his shoulders, gripping his wrist tightly as he stood with the surfer supported next to him. Hiei held the door open.

"Dude, I don't need, like, a doctor or anything..."

"No, but I'm not very well going to leave you lying on the porch with a bottle of water while we're gone. That's just cruel."

"But dude, it's not even, like, your house..."

"Hiei doesn't mind. Does he?" Kurama was already helping RSD into the house.

"Of course not," Hiei said obediently. "So long as you don't blow it up or burn it down or break things..."

After situating their random helper on the couch and leaving him with a bottle of water, the demons said their hasty goodbyes, and without a word to anyone in Reikai about their destination, got into the time machine.

Some time later, Hiei managed to figure out the programming and set the date. Having thoroughly hacked every file in Reikai computer system to find the exact date, he knew exactly when and where they were going.

"Well," he said, "here goes."

"Buckle up."

"Fuck you." He hit the green button. The rocket shot up into the air like a bullet and Hiei went flying out of his seat. Kurama had time to look towards him with an expression of distress on his face before they totally vanished, POOF. Two seconds later, they reappeared, POOF. A computerized voice announced that they had arrived at their intended destination. The rocket slowly lowered down into a forest. Once it landed and the voice informed them that it was safe to unfasten their safety belts, Kurama did at once, and ran back to where Hiei was lying.

"Hiei? Are you okay?"

He nodded, but didn't bother opening his eyes. "My head hurts."

Kurama chuckled. "You gonna live?"

"Yeah." He sat up, rubbing the back of his head.

"Bleeding?"

"Nah."

"C'mon, then. Get up. We're here. We're finally going to get them back."

After another twenty minutes of crawling, the girls finally found themselves standing at the bottom of a short vertical shaft that led upwards to what looked like a door of some sort.

"I think we've just found our ticket out," Eclipse said.

"Good... If we hadn't, I would have blown chunks." Shadow flipped onto her hands and launched herself at the top of the tunnel. It broke to bits under (rather, above) her feet, and she went hurtling upwards into a room. Eclipse jumped up and caught the edge of the garbage disposal chute and pulled herself out--a much less dramatic entrance than Shadow, and thus avoiding notice.

It was the main control room. It had to be. Buttons were everywhere and a half. There were only a few people there, none of them being ones Shadow recognized, but they sure as hell recognized her. She landed on her feet in the middle of the room and a few people screamed.

"YOU!" one girl, apparently the acting commander while Yuri was off doing who-knows-what, snapped. "I thought we killed you!" Three small, flat screens were displaying an image of the white room. Clearly she'd just been talking to them, because the majority of them were looking at the screen.

"You tried!" Shadow said. "Unsuccessfully!" Her voice held that superior, showy tone to it. "An unfortunate event occured and Eclipse is currently dead, but life goes on."

"What?"

"I will destroy you now," the hanyou said. She ran at the girl. The girl screamed. Two tall, muscular bodyguards lunged in the way and flung Shadow back. She plowed into the floor several meters away.

"Kill her!" the acting commander screeched. She and all the other females in the room ran for it, forgetting to turn off the screens. The bishounen had a front row seat without any danger of being injured.

"Hey Shadow! While you're in there, try to get us out!" Yusuke called.

"Will do! My hands are a little full at this particular point in time, but 'sall good!" She dodged a punch and jumped away to avoid a kick. "ECLIPSE!"

The other girl came flying out of nowhere and attacked one of the guys, evening out the numbers so Shadow could then thoroughly whip some ass without distraction. In a total of five minutes, both guys were out cold and tied up in a corner of the room. Shadow walked over to the screens and grinned, wiping a bit of blood away from her mouth.

"Now, Shadow will see what she can do with all these buttons," she muttered to herself. Rubbing her chin thoughtfully, she looked at them all, then held one finger over them, moving it as she thought, then finally pushing a button. The screens went black.

"I don't think that was a good choice," Eclipse pointed out calmly. Shadow pushed the button again and they came back.

"Sorry 'bout that..."

"We have a moron attempting to rescue us," Saitou muttered. "We're doomed."

"I just had a thought," Shadow said. "Why don't you shut the fuck up, Hajime?"

He glared and she smiled sweetly, then went back to her button examination. Her brows knitted and her lips moved as she counted silently. After a second, she muttered, "Ah, fuck. Karasu, pick a number from one to thirty."

"What!" Koga cried. "Are you going to pick a button at random based on that stupid bastard's choice?"

"Shut up, wolf!" Shadow snapped, pointing a finger threateningly at the screen. "I like Karasu! I know he may be a bit of a pervert, but I like him! Now, Bitch, pick a number!"

Karasu winced. It had been a while since Shadow had ordered him around as if he were a slave.

"Pick!"

"Eighteen." Why? Kurama's age, of course. He did still feel something for the fox.

"Eighteen," Shadow repeated. Her eyes scanned over the thirty buttons she'd chosen to pay attention to out of the hundreds that were there. Half were probably for show, she mused. "Eighteen..." Her finger hovered over it. It was red. They always pushed a red button on TV and something bad happened. Not a good sign. But she pushed it anyways.

Big red letters flashed on the screen: PLEASE DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON AGAIN.

She didn't.

"Another number, if you feel so inclined, someone! Quickly, if you don't mind!"

"Twenty-three," Inuyasha said. Why? He had no idea.

Shadow hit the button she had designated as 23. The big red letters went away, and unfortunately so did the entire image. She pushed it again and the images were back. "Dammit! Twenty-three is the button I hit earlier! Yusuke, another number!"

"Four."

Four. She and Eclipse appeared in the white room. With crimson eyes narrowed, she looked up at Yusuke.

"Wrong choice, Yusuke."

"Great. Just fucking great," Yuki grouched. "And to top it all off, you guys smell like shit."

"I'll fix that!" Eclipse chirped.

And suddenly, it was like somebody had poured one of the dolphin tanks at Sea World into the room, minus the dolphins. Water filled the room in an instant. Anyone who didn't know how to swim was in some seriously deep shit.

"I think I overdid it," she sputtered, then started to sink. Yusuke went after her, since no one else seemed to care enough.

"In-fucking-credible," Hiro spat. Yusuke broke the surface holding Eclipse, shaking his head. His hair was hanging in his eyes, having gone days without any re-gelling. Eclipse looked a little out of it.

"Hey, but at least she used her power," Shadow said. "Now... to fix it."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"We don't, right now. First, we're gonna take advantage of this, and clean off a bit." She vanished underwater.

"I don't know about you, but I don't want to clean off in the same water two girls who have been crawling through garbage chutes are in," Sanosuke said.

"You have a point," Kiba agreed. Karasu submerged and swam around a bit until he caught up with Shadow, then got her attention and pointed up towards the surface. She looked at him funny, but shrugged and headed upwards. He followed.

"What?" she snapped.

"Nobody else wants to clean off in water you're fouling up," he stated, "and if you hadn't forgotten, some of them haven't eaten--"

"Since when are you the humanitarian?"

"I... I'm not."

"Aww, Karasu. You're concerned for all the hot guys' well-being." She drifted forwards and kissed his lips. "That's so cute. Very well. I will exhaust the hell out of myself in order to put right what Eclipse set wrong."

The water temperature began to increase.

"What the hell are you doing?" several people cried.

"Water has to reach a boiling point before it can turn into steam," Shadow said. "I'll make it quick, but you'll all likely suffer some burns..."

"WHAT?"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding... If I can be very careful... It'll take longer... But I'll only boil the water around myself... Everyone move away from me... 'Sall good, we'll get this all fixed up in a jiffy..."

Everyone swam away. They watched Shadow vanish in a pillar of steam as she heated the water around herself. She hadn't been joking when she said it would take longer. But when the water level was finally lowered to about knee-deep, the room was so full of steam it was almost hard to breathe. You can't have everything.

"It'll dissipate," she said, then fell face-first into the water. Kenshin moved forward to save her.

"It won't dissipate!" Miroku scoffed. "The room is air-tight. It's a wonder we've had fresh oxygen this long."

"The guy has a point," Karasu muttered.

"But at least we aren't swimming any more," Kenshin reminded. Always the Peacekeeper.

"Nope, just suffocating," Koga said sardonically.

"I preferred the swimming," Inuyasha said. "This just sucks."

"Indeed," Aoshi agreed verbosely.

"Stop complaining," Sesshoumaru snapped. All eyes turned towards him. "I tire of your petty whining."

"I tire of hearing you tell me to shut up," Inuyasha snapped. "Stupid bastard. I've been around you here long enough to last the rest of my lifetime. When we get out of here, if I never see you again in my life, I won't feel like I'm missing anything."

"Oh? And supposing we hadn't spent so long in here together, and I never saw you again. If I suddenly vanished from your life, would you feel like you were missing something, Inuyasha?"

"Of course not, you jackass! I'd be the happiest person you've ever seen!"

Sesshoumaru's eyes wandered to Shadow, "The happiest? After seeing these two girls, you can say that?"

"Oh, shut up, maybe not THE happiest--"

"I thought not."

"Shut up, Sesshoumaru, goddammit! I want to go home!"

"Don't we all," Tsume muttered.

Everyone looked a bit harried. Yusuke pushed Eclipse against Sesshoumaru's chest and walked over to Shadow, not really caring whether the demon lord held the girl or let her fall and drown. Shadow was also totally unconscious by now, so the teen just picked her up and carried her over to Karasu.

"Here. She likes you, you can hold her. I'll keep Eclipse's head above water. Don't let Shadow drown."

Karasu nodded, his eyes never meeting Yusuke's as he took Shadow from the boy. Instead, his gaze was locked on Sesshoumaru. Appreciating the way the white silk shirt became nearly transparent when it was wet, the way it clung to the lord's pale skin, allowing everyone a delectible view of his gorgeously perfect chest.

This didn't go unnoticed by the inuyoukai, but he said nothing. He was sick of dealing with the crow and all these stupid strangers and human girls. The general mood of the room seemed to match his: Exhausted and fed-up.

Hiei and Kurama were grateful that people didn't dress too terribly differently ten years in the future. They had to walk amidst these people, and it was really best not to attract attention. What do you tell someone if they ask what you're doing? 'Oh, we're from ten years ago, just come for a bit of sight-seeing and to rescue our girlfriends and sixteen guys from depraved teenage girls...' It wouldn't quite work.

"Any clue where they are?" Kurama asked quietly. Hiei shook his head.

"It's hard to find them without taking the ward off..."

"Three eyes still isn't in fashion here," the fox noted.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just do your best. I can't catch a scent of anything familiar at all... None of them."

Hiei sighed. His eyes roved over the city. "Tokyo is as crowded as ever."

"Yeah."

"Let's try the other side of the street."

"Will it work?"

"Probably not."

Kurama shrugged and glanced both ways, then stepped out into the street. Hiei's eyes swept from side to side as they walked. He didn't expect Shadow and Eclipse to come jumping out around the corner, but it didn't hurt to look.

Night fell, and they had no leads. Typical. They sat down to rest outside an extremely tall building. It was new, having been built sometime in the past ten years, because they didn't remember it being there.

"Well," Hiei sighed, "we've covered most of the city."

"Yep. No leads."

"So what now?"

"I guess... we keep looking," the fox said with a shrug. "They're bound to be somewhere..."

"Indeed."

There was a scream from behind them. It was echoed by several dozen others. The demons recognized it. It was the 'fanatic' scream. They turned just in time to be piled on by about ten psychotic girls. The two boys let out screams of their own as they were assaulted.

"HIEI, KURAMA! YOU CAME TO US!"

The next thing they knew, they were handcuffed and being pushed towards the big white building they'd been resting outside.

"Goddamn authoress and your coincidences!" Kurama snapped. "Who the hell are these people?"

Yes, well...

They were dragged inside and into a small elevator. Hiei and Kurama were pushed to the back so that the girls could act as a security escort and make sure they didn't kick in the walls or something. Hiei pressed his back partially against the wall and partially against Kurama in order to be away from the girls and have as much space as he could.

"It's so wonderful that we've finally managed to get you! When we brought the others here, we made a small miscalculation and got those two wretched girls instead of you. Then our time machine had a problem with its quanticular supper matrix or something, and--"

"Wait, what two girls?" Kurama asked as the elevator started upwards.

"Oh, I don't know their names. Polly and Reclips or something."

"Polly?" Hiei choked.

"Reclips?"

"Maybe it was Hannah, or Speedo, I don't know! But the point is--"

"SPEEDO?"

"The point is, we have you now, and you're safe! How did you get here, by the way? Did you sense our love for you? Did it draw you to us like a lamp to a moth?"

Hiei gagged.

"Who are you girls, please?" Kurama asked. Gentleman to the end.

"We're the security officers for the official Bishounen Rescue Mission, 2015!"

"Rescue?" Hiei said bleakly. "You have me handcuffed in an elevator."

"We'll let you out of the handcuffs as soon as we get you to your wife!"

"Wife!" All his claustrophobia was forgotten momentarily. "I'm not married, stupid girl."

"Um... Yes, neither of us is married," Kurama told her. The elevator stopped, and Hiei closed his eyes as the funny drifting feeling went away. When the doors opened, the girls formed a circle around him and Kurama and escorted them through the halls.

"Can I kick their asses?" Hiei asked. The fox gave him a sharp look.

"No, Hiei. Let's just see what happens. We were lucky. They showed themselves. We just have to get control of the situation."

"I can. Let me kick their asses. Please?"

"Not now, Hiei."

He held back a sigh. "If they've hurt Shadow..." The sentence trailed off as a threat.

After a bit, the girls announced they'd reached their destination. "We're here!" She did a happy little squeal. "This is so exciting! I might even get a promotion when Yuri sees what I did!"

They were outside a door. It was very plain and boring, and did not have a handle. There was a panel of buttons on one side, which the girl typed something on quickly and the handle-less door slid to the left.

Inside was a large room. Buttons were everywhere. A few girls milled around inside. One glanced up when the door opened, and the pink-clad 'security' girl ran inside screaming. She hugged the girl who'd looked at her, jumping up and down.

"Yuri, Yuri! Look who I got! Look who!"

Yuri looked towards the door curiously. Her eyes widened. "You got Hiei and Kurama! How did you get them?"

"Yuri...?" Hiei muttered quietly, skeptically.

"They were drawn here by our love! They could sense it as they sat alone by themselves at home, and--"

"Not to burst your bubble, but the only reason we're here is to get our girlfriends," Hiei stated calmly.

"Oh, nonsense," the security girl giggled. "This is the center for bishounen worship. Everybody here loves or appreciates every attractive man on anime. Love is a powerful feeling, even over time..."

There was a pause, then Hiei spoke up.

"You've been reading too many crappy romance novels," he stated frankly.

Flustered silence came from the girls, then another one spoke up. "We should take them to Ami and Sakura."

"Yes," Yuri said, attempting to recover, "Yes, yes, good idea. Shannon, go, take them to their wives."

"Can I kick their asses NOW?" Hiei snapped impatiently in his mind.

"Now sounds good."

Hiei jerked his wrists away from each other sharply and smirked as the metal of his handcuffs broke.

"Don't hurt them too badly," Kurama warned as an afterthought as Hiei leapt away from them all.

"Don't worry, fox. I only kill what tries to kill me first."

That's a new rule, the fox thought absently. There's probably a catch.

Kurama, being very secretive, managed to pick the locks on his handcuffs, and darted away from the girls as well. They weren't entirely stupid, he noted with approval. With the imminent threat of murder, they thought to form a circle facing outwards for defense. The ones who weren't with security were in the middle.

There was a difference between knowing what to do and doing it, though. These girls may have taken karate or some martial art for a few years, but not only COULD they not hurt himself and Hiei, they WOULD not hurt them. Not intentionally. And that was their weakness.

Hiei appeared out of nowhere and knocked all the girls over easily, then drew his sword--Where'd that come from! dozens of confused girls wondered. Kurama had to wonder himself. He hadn't noticed his friend was carrying his sword. Must've been a plot hole.

"Where are they?" the fire demon asked coldly.

What irony that such a hot guy can have such a cold voice, a random girl thought. Hiei's eyes darted to her.

"I heard that." Oddly enough, it wasn't the first time he'd heard such a thing in reference to himself. And he had to admit, somewhere deep in his mind where he was allowed to agree with annoying girls, it was quite ironic. A fire demon who was as cold as ice. Must be the heritage.

"Where are Shadow and Eclipse?" Kurama asked calmly.

"THAT'S what their names were!" the airheaded security girl cried triumphantly. "I didn't think somebody would name their kids Shallow and Three-Lips..."

Hiei twitched. "Where?"

"And the others. The bishounen. Where are they?" Kurama asked.

"They're all safe," Yuri stated. "Do you want to see them?"

"No," Hiei said. "We want to take them back. Fox, if you wouldn't mind restraining them..."

"No objections here." The fox drew a seed from his hair, and Hiei wandered over to the panel of buttons. There were too many to count.

"Shit," he said simply. Kurama was at his side.

"Shit," he echoed, a bit more awe in his voice. "How are we ever going to figure out what they do?"

"I could help," Yuri said.

"Can it, ningen!" Hiei snapped sharply. He shrugged. "My best tactic?" He pressed a button. Nothing happened. Sliding a lever from up to down, he realized that still, nothing was happening. Nothing he could notice, at least.

However, in the white room, where the lights had just been put out for the night, they suddenly rose up again. Shadow and Eclipse were still asleep. Luckily, having realized the problem, the knee-deep water had been removed by the fanatics.

"Try another button," Kurama said. Hiei did. Three little screens flicked on.

"Luck of the draw," he said. They looked at the first screen. It displayed several disgruntled-looking handsome men, as did the second screen.

"Ew, Karasu," Kurama muttered.

"No accounting for taste." Hiei's eyes fell on the third and final screen.

The good news was, he'd found his girlfriend. The bad news was, she was sleeping in Sesshoumaru's lap with her head resting on his shoulder. Why? Who knows, but Eclipse was lying with her head pillowed on his leather-clad thigh, one hand resting on his knee.

"No... fucking... way..." Hiei muttered.

On the screen, Yusuke was on his feet, looking up at them. "Hiei! Kurama!" The voice came from a little speaker on one side of the screen.

"Yusuke... It's been a while."

"What the hell are they doing?" Hiei snapped, pointing at the two girls.

"Err... sleeping. Y'see, the thing about that is--"

"The thing about it is, you're going to wake them up and they're going to tell me what the thing about it is."

"They've been hanging all over him the entire time we've been here," Inuyasha volunteered helpfully. Maybe if he pissed off Hiei enough, the irritable little guy would take it out on Sesshoumaru. He didn't know much about the fire demon's relationship with Shadow, did he?

"Inuyasha!" Yusuke yelped. Hiei merely raised one eyebrow and turned his eyes towards Sesshoumaru.

"Have they really." He diverted his attention to the panels of buttons. "I think we can deal with this." With a sudden burst of widely comprehensive knowledge of this technology, he managed to hit the correct combination of buttons, targetted his victims, and... ZAP!

Sesshoumaru, along with the two girls, appeared in the middle of the room in exactly the same position they'd been in inside the white cell. The demon lord glanced around, then decided that since Hiei was looking at him, he would look back.

Eclipse made a little noise in her sleep and nuzzled closer to her 'pillow.' Kurama grimaced. Her hands went around the demon's leg and hugged it somewhat.

"They don't even love you, look at that!" one of the fanatics cried, struggling against the vines that Kurama had tied them all together with. "They just keep sleeping like rocks even though you're here now!"

"As is to be expected," Hiei said calmly. He walked towards the trio and squatted down in front of the demon. If Hiei was happy to see Shadow, he was hiding it pretty well. Nobody had seen the relieved looks on both the boys' faces when they'd first set eyes on the two girls. Now, they'd gathered themselves together and were keeping it cool.

The fire demon put one hand on Shadow's leg to brace himself as he leaned forward.

"Shadow," he whispered, so close to her ear that his lips brushed her skin. She twitched and moved a hand to brush him away, like a fly. Undaunted, he gently wrapped one hand around both of her wrists as a safety precaution and ran his tongue up the entire side of her face. This woke her up, and she screamed and made to punch him before she realized who it was. Hiei was wise to have pinned her wrists already, and she couldn't attack. Sesshoumaru grabbed the struggling girl's head and turned it to face Hiei. She froze instantly, face taking on a look of disbelief.

"H-Hiei...?"

"Yeah," he said, smiling. Her eyes lit up.

"Hiei!" He released her wrists and she flung her arms around him, plowing him backwards onto the floor. "You came to rescue me! I love you so much! I missed you so much! I love you!"

"I love you too," he said, too happy to worry that there were about ten other people watching. Shadow had buried her face against his neck, but pulled away now, and his eyes widened. "Shadow, you look like you're gonna cry!"

Her eyes glistened wetly. "Aren't I entitled to it!"

"W-well, yeah, I just didn't think you'd be that happy to see me... Have you been treated badly or something?"

She leaned down and kissed him.

Kurama, who had been distracted by them up to this point, finally decided to rid Sesshoumaru of his other little parasite, and thus reclaim his own girlfriend. He bent over Eclipse, and the inuyoukai turned away from the make-out session beside him to watch the fox's antics. Kurama's first attempt at getting Eclipse to let go was an utter and complete failure: Force. All she did was tighten her grip on Sesshoumaru until he growled.

"Get her off, fox."

"Right, sorry." He bent closer and Eclipse and whispered, "Eclipse... Wake up and get off Sesshoumaru right now and I'll fix you a really nice dinner."

She sat bolt upright. "Who's fixing me dinner?" Her eyes turned towards the smiling redhead and she screamed. "KURAMA!" She jumped on him and he managed to keep from ending up on his back on the floor like Hiei had. The second the two girls were apart from him, Sesshoumaru stood up. Hiei and Shadow, finally finished saying hello, followed suit. Shadow refused to let go of Hiei, and was holding his hand tightly.

"So..." Hiei said, "what exactly happened here?"

"We were terribly mistreated," Shadow said. Hiei shot a death glare at Yuri and the fanatics tied together across the room. They cringed away.

"Okay... And, Sesshoumaru... Why are you dressed like that, if I may be so bold?"

"Because they think it's sexy and seem to delight in torturing me," the lord answered coldly.

"...Well, I'm sorry to hear that."

"It is sexy," Shadow pointed out.

"And now for the million dollar question," Kurama said, still on the floor with Eclipse clinging to him like her life depended on it, "why the hell were you two girls sleeping on Sesshoumaru?"

Both girls went rigid for a minute, having forgotten that particular detail in their joy of being reunited with their boyfriends.

"Well... We were unconscious," Shadow said, "but I woke up in Karasu's arms..."

"You what!"

"It's a long story," Sesshoumaru told him. "Have your friend Yusuke explain it."

"I will," Hiei promised.

"Speaking of Yusuke," Kurama muttered. He moved to get up, and found he had gained an additional hundred pounds. "Eclipse..."

"Are you mad?"

"I'm too happy to see you to be mad at you."

"That's good. Are you still fixing me dinner?"

"We'll worry about that once we're home."

"Yeah. How'd you get here, anyways?"

"Random Surfer Dude, of all people," Hiei informed them, "showed up on the porch with a time machine."

Shadow looked at him incredulously. "Are you serious!"

"Yeah. He carried it on his back all the way from wherever the hell he comes from. He's currently about ten years in the past laying on the couch in the living room. Kokuei's taking care of him."

"That's kinda really funny."

"Yes."

Kurama managed to get to his feet with Eclipse still hanging onto him and stagger over to the control panel. The three screens were displaying the faces of over a dozen anxious men.

"Can you get us out of here, Kurama?" Yusuke asked.

"I'm sure I can figure it out," the fox muttered.

"That's assuring," Yuki grouched.

"Oh, shut it for once, Yuki!" Yusuke snapped angrily. "Kurama knows what he's doing."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Yusuke."

Yuki, on the other hand, was giving Yusuke an 'I can't believe you just blew up on me like that, you little snot!' look.

"That's Mr. Sexy," Eclipse told her boyfriend. "He's a little pissy sometimes. But the awesome thing is, he has a boyfriend named Shuichi! How awesome is that!"

"Shuichi of Bad Luck, to be more precise," Shadow added.

"That's nice," the redhead muttered, looking at all the buttons thoughtfully.

"Isn't Bad Luck that annoying band you listen to?" Hiei asked. "The one with the pink-haired singer?"

"Yeah! The one who looks like a girl but sounds like a guy."

"I'll have you know you're talking about my best friend," Hiro pointed out.

"We know, Mr. Lead Guitarist. But you gotta admit it's true."

Kurama made a triumphant noise. "I think I got it." He shook his right arm furiously until Eclipse let go, then started typing on the buttons. One by one, each bishounen appeared in the room with them.

"See? I told you he was smart," Yusuke snapped. He threw his arm around Kurama's shoulders. "I didn't doubt you for a minute, fox!"

"Thanks."

"You either, Hiei, even though you didn't do anything useful."

"Nice to see you, too."

"Aw, c'mon, you know I missed you guys." He glanced around. "Didn't Kuwabara come along? He didn't want a piece of the rescue?"

"We didn't ask. We just kind of left. There was a big silver time machine in the front yard, somebody was bound to notice..." Kurama pointed out.

"I see where you're coming from. So now what?"

"So now... We get everyone home, and turn tail ourselves." He turned towards the bound fanatics. "Where's your time machine?"

Maaaaan, I went "christmas shopping" with Eclipse yesterday... She bought my Gravitation DVD with me standing there watching, and I DON'T GET TO WATCH IT UNTIL CHRISTMAS! I wanna cry...

Well, I must go eat dinner... Hope you enjoyed the chapter... Have fun with all your pre-holiday activities... REVIEW THE DAMN STORY! Please. I love you?
...Didn't figure it'd work. Review anyways please.