(Wednesday, Dec 7, 2005) Yay for over 200 reviews. As a reward, you get a chapter. I like this chapter, personally...

I have to go to my school's Christmas concert tonight cuz I'm gonna video tape my friend... I hope he messes up. Cruel, but that's half the reason I'm going. The other half of the reason is because I feel like going, so yippee.

CHAPTER JUUICHI
Simple Pleasures

"I told you, it's broken!"

"Yes. You have told us. Only about a million times more than necessary," Yusuke groaned.

"Well, it's in this room, but it doesn't work, like I said."

"We're feeling redundant today, aren't we?" Shadow taunted. "I bet it does work, and you just don't want us to send the guys home." She was holding Hiei's hand, and, come to think of it, had been ever since she'd stopped kissing him earlier.

"I don't want them to get hurt in a faulty machine!" Yuri insisted.

"We can handle it, we're big boys," Koga said.

"Open the damn door," Roy snapped. "Let's just get home already, dammit."

She opened it, and they walked into a room that was large, square, and sterile. The only other thing in the room was a large spherical object with a rounded doorway into one side with a ramp leading up to it.

"This is your time machine?" Shadow asked, sounding unimpressed.

"Yes, it is. Got a problem?"

"No problem."

Kurama led Yuri up to the control panel on one side. "How does it work?"

She explained the buttons to him, then insisted again, "But I told you, it's broken."

"Yes. You told me," the fox replied curtly.

They'd only brought Yuri along, and only because she knew the way around and knew how to work the machine. All the other girls were still tied up in the control room, probably bawling their eyes out because their bishounen were leaving.

"Well..." Kurama hit the button to activate it. "Who wants to go first?"

"Me!" several people cried in unison. An immense fistfight burst out. The bishounen were on their last nerves. It took Shadow screaming to break them up. At the ear-piercing sound, everybody suddenly cared more to protect their ears than murder their companions.

"How does this sound: We go from farthest in the future to farthest in the past. Sound good?"

"That means we go home first, correct?" Kiba asked.

"I suppose it would, yes."

"Then I'm all for it."

"I told you, it doesn't work! It'll explode! Please don't put yourselves in danger!" Yuri whined. Kurama gagged her mouth.

Kiba and Tsume went into the time machine. Shadow waved and said good-byes and blew them kisses. A door closed over the arch they'd entered through, a bright light flashed, and they were gone. Shadow sniffled.

"I'll never see them again... Never stare at Tsume's long, sexy, leather-clad legs..."

Hiei cleared his throat. She shut her mouth and looked at him. "Oh, Hiei, I love you! I would so much rather gaze at you in leather pants than Tsume. But you gotta admit, he has nice legs, being a wolf and everything."

The fire demon just shook his head.

"Who's next?" Kurama asked. He glanced through them. Everybody looked like they were from the past, with few exceptions.

"We are," Hiro said. Shadow pointed her finger right in his face as he took a step.

"Never! You're from the same place and time as myself and Yusuke and Karasu and Eclipse and Hiei and Kurama. You will return with us. As will you, Yuki-san."

"Joy."

"Okay, then... Next...?"

Ed and Roy were next. Shadow patted Edward on the top of his head like a dog, making him growl (also rather like a dog). She hugged Roy, who gave her a sort-of one-armed hug back, considering how she was still clinging to Hiei and making him too close for comfort. Especially since the little guy was carrying a sword and looked like he knew how to use it.

"We'll see you guys some other time!" Shadow said cheerfully. Ed was all too happy to get into the 'faulty' time machine with the colonel, and shortly they were gone. A faked tear rolled down Shadow's cheek.

"What's your problem!" Inuyasha asked, noticing.

"I... I felt so close to all of you over this time... and now... you're all leaving me!"

"Thank the lord."

"Isn't Hiei good enough for you?" Sesshoumaru pointed out. Shadow stopped fake-crying and looked at her boyfriend.

"Oh yeah! I have Hiei! What do I need with you losers?" She flung her arms around the fire demon and hugged him tightly.

"I'm glad you think so highly of us," Saitou muttered.

"We're next," Aoshi reminded. "Get us the hell out of here."

Shadow let go of Hiei's hand to cross her arms over her chest. "Aoshi Shinomori, I want to know just one thing before you leave."

"What?"

"Why the hell are you so goddamn tall?"

"Because this is how tall I grew. Can we leave now?" He looked to Kurama for an answer. The fox gestured towards the entrance.

"Feel free. Good luck."

Aoshi went in, then Saitou, then Sanosuke. Sano put a safe space between himself and the two guys who had kicked his ass at least once in the past. Kenshin waved good-bye, smiling.

"Take good care of yourselves, everyone."

"You too," Shadow said politely, the added under her breath, "Pansy."

As Kurama hit the button to send them back, Eclipse looked to Yuri. "I thought it was bro-ken, hmmm? Why's it working, then?"

As the Meiji era guys vanished from sight, the machine sputtered.

"Oops," Eclipse muttered.

"Spoke too soon," Yuri said, smirking.

Smoke started rising from somewhere near the bottom of the machine.

"No..." Inuyasha muttered. "No... no... This is NOT happening."

"I, uh... I think it's gonna blow up," Kurama said, backing away. Yuri ran for the door and opened it, and the remaining members of the group hurried out. There was a loud explosion from inside. Everyone gazed at the door until it was silent behind it, then, slowly, they all turned to look at each other.

"What now?" Yuki asked.

"Now...?" Shadow said. "Now, we panic." Instant mood swing. "OH, MY, GOD! HIEI, IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! IT--IT'S SO TERRIBLE! AHHH! OHHH! EEEE! AHHH! GODS, HELP US IN OUR QUEST! WE HAVE TO SPEND EVEN MORE TIME WITH SESSHOUMARU, AND HIS ALMOST PAINFULLY SEXY PANTS, AND--"

Sesshoumaru sighed as she continued her fake 'woe is me' speech, going on about how horrible it would be to spend another minute around him and his godly beauty.

"Well," he said, getting a Look from Hiei and an entirely different Look from Inuyasha, as well as a Look from Karasu, which he ignored, "if I ever need an ego boost, I know where to go."

Hiei snorted.

"Anyways," Kurama snapped, clamping his hand over Shadow's mouth, "to focus on the matter at hand..."

There was a long pause.

"We could always leave them here," Yuki suggested. Inuyasha and Koga exploded on him, and Shadow and Eclipse flung themselves in front of the irritated novelist to protect him from the two canines.

"Okay, knock it off," Kurama snapped. Nobody listened. Shadow and Eclipse started beating the crap out of Inuyasha and Koga. The fox raised his voice. "ECLIPSE, KNOCK IT OFF." Her disobedience this time might have had something to do with the hanyou inuyoukai sitting on her and tugging her arm up behind her back. But, the fact that he was ten years in the future, had just been reunited with his girlfriend, couldn't go straight home and spend time with her, and had been handcuffed by fanatics earlier and yelled at by a moody author who he now was apparently going to have to take home, all these things piled up on him, and he was very angry.

"Goddammit!" he cried. Something similar to an explosion occured around him, vines flying everywhere and grabbing at the fighting pairs, and anything else in the way. Hiei flung his arms out and pushed Yuki and Hiro against the wall, as far away from the questing plants as he could. When the smoke cleared, Youko was standing there looking po'ed. Hiro and Yuki looked a bit pale, their eyes twice as large as they should have been. Yusuke and Karasu had plastered themselves against the opposide wall, both also looking startled.

"Wa-ow..." Hiei muttered, eyes following the vines away from the fox, along the now-busted up hallway to land on the six others tied up and looking a bit pained. "Stress."

"You're HURTING ME, Youko Kurama!" Shadow growled.

"I wish you all would just shut up and listen to me," the fox snapped. The vines dropped their prisoners, but only withdrew enough to give them room to get up. "Would you just shut up and get along for two seconds?" He pointed one clawed finger at Yuki. "You most of all, Mister Pissy."

"That's Mister Sexy to you, Youko!" Eclipse snapped. A vine lashed forward and grabbed her, dragging her towards the fox. He smirked. "What in the seven hells are you doing!"

"Eclipse... I need a favor when we get home."

"A-a wha...? A favor!"

"Yes."

"What kind?"

"You'll find out when we get home."

"Is it bad?"

"You'll like it."

"It must be bad," Shadow whispered to no one in particular. Youko grinned lewdly.

"You may be right, Shadow."

"Aaagh... Forget I mentioned it..." she choked.

"Back to the matter at hand," Hiei snapped. "We're all grouchy and tired and we want to go home. Why don't we just use the time machine to go back to their time and dump them off, then go home?"

Youko shook his head. "Silly Hiei." He dropped Eclipse onto her ass on the floor. "Don't you think a big silver torpedo would be noticeable dropping from the sky in fuedal Japan?"

Hiei paused. "You have a point."

"Of course I do. And also, I don't know if we have enough fuel."

"Fuel? What fuel? What do we need fuel for? We disappeared, then appeared. It's not like we went anywhere."

Youko shrugged. "There was a fuel gauge on one of the panels. Didn't you notice? Oh wait, you were too busy not fastening your safety belt and getting a concussion."

"I don't have a concussion, kitsune."

"Well that's a pity. If you had gotten a concussion, I could have taken care of you. I really do have excellent bedside manners, Hiei."

"Yeah. Your bedside manners probably get you right into the bed."

"Why of course."

Shadow snapped her fingers. "Back to the matter at hand," she said mockingly.

"Right. Let's get the hell out of here," Hiei said, starting down the hall.

"But what about us!" Miroku asked. The fire demon paused and looked at him thoughtfully, then shrugged.

"We might think o' somethin'." He jogged down the hall with Youko, Yusuke, Karasu, and the two girls not far behind.

"They might think of something! How the hell is that supposed to help us?" Inuyasha cried.

"It probably isn't," Yuki pointed out, starting out at a walk, then grudgingly increasing pace when he realized that he would not keep up if he were slow. Hiro hurried after him.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" Inuyasha complained.

"Probably nothing," Sesshoumaru told him, turning and jogging after the others.

"GODDAMMIT!"

They all left Yuri sitting there looking stupid. Unbeknownst to anyone, Youko had slipped her drugs that erased all her memories past the age of ten. How he'd done it, even I don't know. The magician doesn't tell me his secrets, and I don't ask. Some things, you'd rather not know.

The group managed to get out of the building unaided and unhindered.

"So where are we going?" Shadow asked.

"We are going outside the city..." Hiei paused and looked around. It was the middle of the night in 2015 Tokyo. "Nobody's out and about. Let's just run in the shadows. Most people won't see us and wonder why a were-fox and a wolf-man and a guy with dog ears are hauling ass down the street with a group of semi-normal humanoids on their tails.

"If only it were Halloween, we wouldn't have to worry about 'Why the hell is Koga wearing a skirt' and the like," Shadow sighed sadly.

"Yes, well it isn't Halloween. Now let's run," Hiei said.

And they did. They ran full out on the darker side of the street until they reached the sleek silver vessel that was to take them home.

"What in the name of--" Koga started.

"You're in the future; you get really weird-ass stuff in the future," Inuyasha said.

"What do you know, mutt!"

He opened his mouth to argue, but realized Koga had no idea Kagome was not from their time. He shut his mouth again.

"Okay, troop!" Shadow said. "Into the extremely large and conspicuous silver vessile of doom!"

"Indeed," Youko said. He ushered them all into the time machine, they all strapped in, coordinates were set, then, shiZAM! And they were gone, headed back to 2005.

And then they were back in 2005.

The time machine plummetted down from the sky and smashed into Shadow's front yard.

"SWEET JESUS!" she screamed.

"At least it wasn't the house," Hiei muttered, one hand over his heart like he had to hold it inside his chest.

They all piled out into the yard and Shadow made a damage assessment. It was very quick.

"There's a giant crater in the middle of my front yard."

"Toldja we didn't have much fuel," Youko reminded.

"Shove it, fox," Hiei snapped.

"Where would you like it?"

"This is NOT the time for flirting," Shadow said. "We have guests, and I'm here. If you wanted to flirt with my boyfriend, you should have done it when I wasn't around."

"He did."

"YOU DID? YOU FLIRTED WITH MY BOYFRIEND WHILE I WASN'T AROUND?" Shadow grabbed Eclipse's shoulders. "I TOLD YOU OUR BOYFRIENDS WERE CHEATING WITH EACH OTHER!"

"Youko isn't my boyfriend! If he fucked Hiei, then he's in trouble, but my boyfriend is off the hook!"

"I'm not your boyfriend?" Youko asked pathetically. "I'm hurt, Eclipse. I'm realy and truly upset. I thought you liked me."

"I do like you. But you sure as hell ain't my boyfriend."

"Why not?"

"My boyfriend is more tactful than you."

"This is not the place for this discussion," Sesshoumaru snapped. "I'm not sure that this is the place for anything."

"Ah, yes. Sesshoumaru, I welcome you to my humble abode," Shadow said, gesturing to her house. She took his hand and led him towards the porch. Hiei watched her go inside, then rounded on the others.

"Goddammit, what happened with those two while I wasn't around!"

Yusuke shrugged. Hiei pointed at him.

"You are useless." He turned and went for the house. He'd barely gotten the door open when Shadow's hand shot out and grabbed him, dragging him inside and pinning him against the wall. Then she was kissing him. The fire demon had a brief moment to realize Sesshoumaru was standing about five feet away before he didn't give a shit that Sesshoumaru was standing about five feet away. He allowed himself to be lost in the sensations as he reacquainted himself with the girl he loved.

Kokuei walked into the room and the couple could feel her disgust. In an attempt to ignore the lovebirds, she walked over to Sesshoumaru and snuffled at him. He glanced at her, but did nothing more.

The door opened, and the first thing Eclipse saw was the couple making out. She screamed and turned her head away, shielding her eyes like she'd just looked into the sun.

"Oh, it BURNS, it burns!"

"What burns?" Youko asked. He appeared in the doorway and smirked. "Jeez, Hiei, really. Have a little tact."

'Does it really look like Hiei has any say in that?' Kokuei asked the fox. The fire demon was quite thoroughly pinned to the wall, Shadow totally dominating their contact.

'You have a point, dear Kokuei. Are you not happy to see Shadow?'

'I'm happy, dammit.'

'You sound like it.'

'Shove off.'

Chuckling lightly, the fox walked into the living room. RSD was gone--not an unexpected turn of events. Normally when you leave somebody lying on a couch because they can't move, they're there when you come back. Since that would be expected, RSD could not do that and still be random. So, he had to leave. But if you'd taken the time to reason this out, then you would have been expecting him to be gone, and he would have been trapped in the dangerous sea of indecision.

Fortunately, you didn't take the time to figure this out until he was already gone and I reasoned it out to you, correct? Of course it's correct; I said it, didn't I?

The others wandered into the house, and Inuyasha's reaction was much the same as Eclipse's had been.

"JEZUS CRIMINY!" he cried, covering his eyes and turning away. "Have some decency!"

"Lord in Heaven..." Youko muttered. "Why can't anybody handle a little kiss?"

"Because it's not a little kiss," Eclipse whispered. "I bet Hiei has a hard-on."

"I do not," he protested, finally breaking the kiss. Shadow hugged him and whispered something that nobody else heard, not even Youko or Sesshoumaru. Hiei chuckled. "I'm tired, though."

"Don't give me that crap, Hiei, you can go days without sleep."

"Who says I haven't already?"

"I says. Now go upstairs and I'll be up there in ten minutes, no more."

"Aw, Jesus. Couldn't you hold off on that shit?" Yusuke complained.

"What shit?" Shadow asked innocently. "Hiei's just... planning our... hm... celebration."

"Yeah, I bet it's a real safe celebration, too."

"Don't worry, we'll use a condom..."

Yusuke's eyes widened, but Youko laughed.

"Nice, Shadow," he said. "Just go to Hiei, we can handle ourselves down here. You have my word that your house will not be destroyed tonight, nor will your possessions."

"They damn well better not go missing, either, fox, or I'm gonna come knocking on your door."

"I don't have a door."

"It's a figure of speech."

"I am aware of that, I'm just doing the same thing you do to everyone else all the time."

"What's that?"

"Nitpick."

"I do not nitpick!"

"You do so. You also contradict people all the time."

"I do not!"

"You just did."

"No I didn't!"

"You're in denial."

"No I'm not!"

"Shut up, goddammit!" Sesshoumaru snapped. They did. Shadow hugged him.

"Sorry, Fluffy! Now, please, make yourselves at home. Youko, until I return, you are their kind and loving host. Which means, no free time with Eclipse."

"Damn you, Shadow. Damn you."

"Oh, you'll get yourself off if it's that vital to you."

"Why should you get time with Hiei but I don't get time with Eclipse?"

"Because one, Hiei is my boyfriend and I haven't seen him in a week, and two, Eclipse doesn't want to fuck with you--"

"Yes she does, she just acts otherwise."

"Whatever. Two, because this is my house and I don't want you fucking around in it, and three, you had over a week alone with my boyfriend and you didn't take advantage of that. Your loss." She started for the stairs.

"Wait, what the fuck. Are you saying that if I had screwed Hiei's brains out while you were gone, you wouldn't have cared?"

"Notso much." She was halfway up the stairs.

"WELL I WISH I'D KNOWN THAT BEFORE!" he complained.

"Keep your voice down. Get everybody a place to sleep, offer them showers and food. Good food, not that shit we had to eat--"

"Goddammit, I'm not a hospitable person. Now I'm pissed off." He vanished and the redhead returned. He gave Shadow a startled look.

"You would have let Youko screw Hiei!"

"It'd be good for them both." She vanished up the stairs. Kurama shook his head.

"I don't get that girl." He turned around and nearly ran into Yuki. "Shit! What in the world..."

"What are you, exactly?"

"What? Uh, well, that's a long story. For another time, perhaps."

"No. Tell me. Why the hell do you turn into a seven-foot-tall lewd man with a tail and ears?"

"You want something to eat? Shadow told me to offer you all dinner and a shower and bed. You hungry?"

"You're avoiding the question."

"Yes I am." He slipped passed the blonde and went into the dining room, making the general announcement, "If anyone is hungry, I'm making food. If anyone wants a shower, we'll figure that out later. If you're tired, we'll get you a bed." He left again and headed for the kitchen. After a little bit, when he had something delicious-smelling cooking, Karasu appeared in the doorway. Kurama looked up.

"What the hell do you want?"

"I haven't seen you in a while."

"You mean since you kidnapped my girlfriend?"

"Er... yeah..."

"You still after me?"

"What?"

"I noticed the way you kept looking at Sesshoumaru. Have you finally gotten intelligent enough to give up on me?"

"I haven't given up. Just... taking a break."

"Good plan. But let me tell you, Sesshoumaru is not a good choice."

"I've already kissed him twice."

"What!"

Karasu chuckled and told the fox about his close encounters of the hot, arousing kind.

"Sounds like you're doing pretty well," Kurama said, turning off the burners on the stove.

"I want him, Kurama."

"Understandable."

"I'm willing to give up on you if you can help me get him."

"Karasu, he's from like, five hundred years ago. He can't stay here and you can't stay there."

"Then just get me one night with him!"

"How do you propose I do that? 'Hey, Sesshoumaru, since we're such great friends and everything, do you suppose you could sleep with Karasu just once, for me, please?'"

"You're more tactful than that."

"Indeed."

Yusuke appeared next to Karasu. "I smell food."

"Yes, Yusuke, the food is ready."

"Yes!" He ran away to announce it.

"Can we continue this discussion later?" Karasu asked.

"As nice as it is to talk to you without worrying about you hitting on me or attempting to seduce me, there is nothing to continue talking about. Sesshoumaru doesn't like you."

Karasu sighed sadly. As Kurama passed him to take the food to the dining room, he felt the crow's hand on his ass.

"Then what about you?"

Kurama stopped. "I have two words for you. Well, actually, it's one word, and I'm gonna say it twice: Ha. Ha." He walked away. Karasu sighed dejectedly.

The second the food was on the table, Shadow and Hiei walked in.

"Did you make enough for us, too?" the girl asked.

"No. You get to starve."

"What! You insuffrable little son of a--"

"I'm kidding! There's plenty for everyone."

"Excellent."

Morning came too early for anyone's preference. Nobody woke up at dawn, having been awake until three AM due to the confusion of settling six extra people, plus Yusuke and Karasu, with places to sleep. They did manage, though, and everyone slept like they would never wake up.

Unfortunately, the state of wakefulness cannot be avoided forever. There was a knock on the door downstairs. Nobody heard it, and nobody woke up. Whoever it was knocked harder. If anyone heard it, they reasoned that whoever it was would go the hell away if ignored.

Five minutes later, a rather irritated Koenma got fed up and zapped himself straight into Shadow and Hiei's bedroom. He did somewhat regret it.

The two were asleep, holding each other tightly. The sheet on their bed covered them from the waist down. Shadow was wearing a black bra, but, part of Koenma's mind reminded bitterly, probably would have been wearing nothing if they hadn't had guests. He was about to leave and come back later, deciding facing Hiei now was a bad idea, when the fire demon spoke quietly.

"What do you want?"

Koenma jumped. "Oh... uh, you're awake."

"Obviously." He eased away from Shadow, sliding out of the bed silently and without disturbing her. Why he was so gentle, Koenma wasn't sure. Last time he checked, Shadow could be flung out a window and not wake up. The fire demon, wearing a pair of loose black pants, led Koenma silently from the room and shut the door.

"Hiei--"

"Everyone's still asleep."

"I'm not," Kurama said quietly from the doorway of his room. "Somebody pounding on the door like a maniac woke me up."

Koenma managed to look embarrassed. Then he glared. "Who am I to apologize? It's after noon. Is it my fault you felt the need to illegally travel through time? I could have you jailed."

"But you won't. And keep your voice down," Hiei said quietly, dragging the taller Prince of Reikai down the hall.

"I won't? Why shouldn't I?"

Hiei glared. "If anyone should get in trouble, it should be the girls who started the whole ordeal."

"I can't very well do anything about them. They're in the future. You, however--"

"Fine. Put me in prison," Hiei snapped. "I don't want to be around when Shadow finds out, though."

"You wouldn't be. You'd be in prison."

Hiei glared. "Look, I'm not one to sit around and wait. You know that. Now why the hell are you here? Just to tell me you plan on throwing me in prison?"

"I never said I planned on it. And that's not why I'm here."

"Then why are you?"

"I came to see if you had a brilliant plot to fix what you have really fucked up by bringing people from the Fuedal Era to 2005 Tokyo."

Hiei crossed his arms. "No. I don't have a brilliant plan. In fact, I have no fucking idea what we're going to do with them. Gonna arrest me?"

Koenma sighed. "No."

"I thought not. Can I go back to bed now?"

"No."

"Why the hell not?"

"We have to figure out a way to deal with them. And it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to erase their memories. I should take them to Reikai--"

"They'll be fine here. Now leave."

"Hiei, I don't appreciate--"

"I don't appreciate you just appearing in my bedroom while I'm trying to sleep!"

"I tried the door! No one would answer!" His voice raised angrily.

"Keep your voices down," Kurama pleaded.

"I am," Hiei stated, while simultaneously Koenma nearly shouted, "I AM!"

A door flew open down the hall and Shadow stalked out. The three guys in the hallway froze, staring at her as she stalked towards them in a bra and short shorts. Hiei and Kurama backed against the walls. She was clearly aiming for Koenma. He tried to back up, but they were at the top of the stairs. Shadow walked up and stood in front of him, and turned him so his back was to the stairs. She stared up at him for a minute before she extended her arms and shoved him backwards down the stairs. The second she was sure he wouldn't be catching himself, she turned to return to her bed.

Now, somebody falling down the stairs was bound to make a loud noise. There was a pissed-off yell of, "Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!" A door opened and Yuki poked his blonde head out. Shadow glanced at him, eyes narrowed, hands fisted at her sides, jaw set angrily.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"She just pushed somebody down the stairs, it's nothing major," Kurama said nervously.

"Anyone I know?"

"No," Hiei answered, watching Shadow return to their room.

"Ah." He vanished back into his room. Maybe he would have cared more if he wasn't so tired. But I doubt it.

Koenma dragged himself to his feet and Hiei and Kurama hastily made for their bedrooms and locked the doors. Kokuei was downstairs. If he tried anything, the dog would see to it he was properly removed from the vicinity.

When a few people started getting up, Hiei and Shadow, the dutiful hosts, also got up, showered, and found that Kurama was a more dutiful host than them and was in the kitchen making lunch by the time they got their asses out of the shower.

"Ah! You make food, Kurama. Very, very, good," Shadow said in English in an Italian accent. He glanced at her and just shook his head. Hiei didn't even pay her that much mind, even though he was holding her hand and hadn't stopped touching her since he'd returned to bed after the Koenma incident.

"Yeah, I'm making food," he said, kind enough to use a language everyone nearby spoke. "You hungry?"

"Am I hungry? Am I hungry? Oh, dear Kurama..." She shook her head calmly, then slammed her hand on the counter. "I COULD EAT A WHALE AND STILL BE HUNGRY!"

"Okay, okay, calm down..."

"I am calm," she stated calmly. "Me and Hiei are gonna go mingle with our guests, 'kay?" Before he could say whether it was okay or not, she had dragged her boyfriend away. No sooner were they gone then Karasu appeared in the doorway.

"They got you slaving over the food again, hm?"

The fox didn't move his head as his eyes darted up to glance at him. "Hello, Karasu."

"Did you sleep well last night with your... girlfriend...?"

"That's not really your business, I think."

"I guess not." He walked closer so he could hover at the fox's elbow. "What're you making?"

Kurama, in lieu of answering, slowly turned his head to look at the crow. Karasu glanced at him innocently. "Karasu. I appreciate you not feeling me up, but if this is a sudden attempt at redeeming yourself, just give up. Even if I forgave you, Eclipse would see you castrated and blind before she did."

"If you're going to be like that, I might as well feel you up." He made a move to do just that, and Kurama smacked him with the hot spoon he'd just been stirring the soup with. The crow jerked away. Shadow appeared in the doorway, detached from Hiei for the first time in a couple hours. She crossed her arms and glared at the two.

"Stop flirting," she stated calmly.

"Shadow, get rid of Karasu. I can't concentrate. He might distract me and make me burn your lunch."

"You're cruel, Kurama," the crow muttered as Shadow grabbed his hand. "Using food to your advantage... That's almost as bad as threatening Hiei."

"I would never threaten Hiei," the fox swore, then Karasu was gone from his sight. Shadow pulled him into the living room, where everyone else was lounging around. Eclipse shot the crow a death look and looked to Shadow with a 'was he just doing what I think he was doing?' expression.

"Lunch is almost ready," Shadow announced, not answering Eclipse in Karasu's best interests. "Why don't we start getting into the dining room, what do you say?"

"Shadow-san, I appreciate your hospitality and everything, but I should be getting home--" Hiro started. She shushed him.

"Just take advantage of the free food, dammit, Mister Hot-Shot Guitarist! I guess I can let you go after lunch..."

"What about us?" Koga asked. Shadow looked him over.

"I don't know. But you have really sexy legs, did I ever mention that?"

Hiei dragged the girl away from Koga before he could hurt her.

After a not-so-peaceful meal, Shadow hugged Hiro tightly and sent him on his way with many tears and good-byes and farewell gifts of everything she'd picked from his pockets when she hugged him. He frowned and left.

"What about me?" Yuki asked. "Shuichi's going to be having a heart attack soon from my absence."

"You could call him, I suppose... But..."

Yuki glared. "You can't hold me prisoner in your house! I'll leave whenever I feel like it!"

She crossed her arms. "You're in no shape to walk all the way home."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, look at you! You're so hot and sexy that every girl within miles will pass out! There will be multiple car accidents from whoever glances out their window at you! Let me take you home."

"It's quite unnecessary. I can walk."

"But I can also take you. And you deserve the escort. You deserve one kind act from me, after all I've put you through. Puh-LEEEZ can I take you home?"

"Do you even have your license? How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen! I've been driving since I was like, fifteen! Come on! Please?" The only reason she really wanted to take him home was to see his house. And also because she wanted to see him safely to his door, to make sure no more fanatics snagged him on the trip. After all, being a fan of his books, she couldn't very well just abandon him like that. She had to see that he survived to write more novels.

He looked conflicted. Truth be told, he didn't really feel like walking...

"Fine," he sighed. She let out a whoop. In one fluid motion, she dove out the nearest window onto the porch, rolled once, sprang over the railing, and landed on her hands, then tore around the side of the house like a rabbit. Yuki stared out the door, towards the corner of the house where she'd vanished. A second later, a motorcycle engine roared and she flew around the house, coming up to the porch from the opposite side and stopping directly in front of the steps.

"Yuki Eiri-sama, your escort has arrived!" she announced. "Hop aboard!"

"A motorcycle!" He was starting to rethink this. Shadow on a motorcycle was a bad idea. "Is it too late to decline?"

"YES! Get on the damn bike, Yuki!"

Hesitantly, reluctantly, he edged out the door and down the stairs, climbing on the bike behind her. "Do you have a helmet or--"

"You won't need it. I'm the best motorcycle driver in the city." She was wearing her leather (she'd changed sometime between jumping out the window and pulling up in front of the porch), but he was entirely unprotected. And human. And mortal.

"I'll bet."

"Hold on tight!"

He barely had time to process the warning and tighten his arms around her middle before she took off so fast the bike nearly jumped out from under them both. The next thing he knew, they were dodging traffic on a packed city street. Shadow was whooping with joy as they ran a red light and nearly got hit by a tractor trailer. Yuki, on the other hand, was on the verge of vomitting.

"HEY!" he screamed. Shadow dodged a pedestrian, a huge smile on her face.

"WHAT?" she shouted back.

"MY HOUSE IS THAT WAY! TAKE A RIGHT!"

"YOUR HORSE IS GAY IF YOU TAKE HIM RIGHT? WHAT?" She looked over her shoulder at him.

"LOOK OUT!" he screamed.

"Huh?" She returned her eyes to the road just in time to dodge a doughnut shop that had somehow gotten in front of her while she was distracted.

"I SAID TAKE A RIGHT!" he repeated. "BUT NOW YOU MISSED IT! TURN AROUND!"

"TURN AROUND? OKAY!" She leaned to her left and they spun around, barely slowing. "A RIGHT, RIGHT?"

"WELL IT'S A LEFT, NOW! LEFT!"

"WHAT'S LEFT NOW?" she asked, going up on the sidewalk around the right turn to avoid the 90 degree angle of it.

"LEFT! TURN AROUND AGAIN! ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE YOUR LICENSE!"

"TURN AROUND AGAIN! GOOD IDEA!" She flattened herself on the bike and sped towards the nearest pedestrian crossing, flew a circle around a six-year-old, effectively making him drop his ice cream and scream like the baby he was, then she sped back the opposite way she'd come.

"HOW FAST ARE WE GOING?" Yuki asked.

"WHAT?"

"SPEED! HOW MUCH!"

"I DON'T DO SPEED!"

He tightened his grip around her and screamed right in her ear, "HOW FAST ARE WE GOING?"

"WE JUST HIT 280 KPH!"

"WHAT!"

"280 AND COUNTING!" she cheered, laughing. "281... 282!" (280 KPH is 175 MPH)

"YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME!"

"I WOULD NEVER!"

"TAKE A LEFT!"

She went up on the sidewalk again and barely dodged a police officer. A whoop of joy rang out as Yuki screamed in horror, "THAT WAS A COP!"

"I KNOW!"

"YOU'RE DEAD!"

"NOT LAST TIME I CHECKED!"

"WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG TO GET TO MY HOUSE WHEN WE'RE GOING SO DAMN FAST!"

"'CAUSE THE AUTHORESS LOVES WRITING MOTORCYCLE SPEEDING TRAFFIC DANGER FUN FUN FUN SCENES!" She gave him a moment to be confused, then added offhandedly, but no more quietly, "AND ALSO CUZ I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!"

"THERE!" he shouted. He didn't dare risk taking one arm off her to point, however.

"WHERE?"

"YOU JUST PASSED IT!"

"WHAT?"

"TURN AROUND AND SLOW DOWN!"

"Turn around AGAIN!" She did a 180 and ended up going down the wrong side of the road, but at a safer rate of 160 KPH (100 mph).

"UP AHEAD. SLOW DOWN!"

"PEDESTRIAN! TEN THOUSAND POINTS IF I CAN KILL 'IM AND STAY IN CONTROL!"

"DON'T KILL HIM, THAT'S SHUICHI!"

She was oblivious, laughing maniacally as she gained on the pink-haired boy. Yuki shouted obseneties at her and Shuichi screamed like a girl.

At the last possible second, Shadow braked and turned, skidding sideways towards the screaming musician. She slid to a stop about one foot in front of him, and the bike nearly tipped, but she was so good that neither the observers nor the passenger noticed that near-tragedy. She stomped her booted foot down onto the ground and offered her hand to Yuki's stunned boyfriend.

"So you're Shuichi, huh?" She grabbed the frozen boy's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "I like your music." She looked at the large house they were in front of. "So this is where you two lovebirds live, huh? Sweet house."

"Y-Yuki...?" Shuichi finally managed.

"Huh?" Shadow said. "Oh yeah. I brought your lover back. Say, do you guys have any lemonade? I could really go for lemonade right about now."

Yuki promptly fell right off Shadow's bike and hit the pavement head-first.

"YUKI!"

Shadow looked curiously, casually, at the stunned novelist. She shook her head. "That man has no appreciation for the simple pleasures in life. Such as going 281 kph down a city street during rush hour."

Shuichi rushed around the motorcycle and hugged Yuki to his chest protectively.

"Go away, you psycho! You hurt Yuki!"

"Psycho! Psycho? Who are you to be calling me psycho! I got that guy here in record time so you two could be reunited and love could continue its devious ways unhindered!"

"Yuki's very sensitive! I bet you gave him a heart attack! I think he's in shock! Call an ambulance!"

"What!"

Now wasn't that fun? I thought it was. It was fun to write, that's for sure.

One more chapter. I bet you're sad. But the good news is, I'm working on chapter like, five or six of the next story... So I could have something up immediately after this.
But I probably won't.
I'm glad I finally got the 'I feel like writing' bug yesterday. For the past three or more weeks I've been too lazy to write. Sad, yes, but true.

Review. I read 'em!