Title: The Handbook
Author: Jmaria
Rating: PG
Fandom: Hercules/Xena
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm broke
Challenge #16 - Books
Word Count: 363
Pairing: FfA #1828 Xander / Joxer/Iolaus (Herc/Xena) (friendship)
A/N: It's been a while since I've seen either Herc or Xena.

The Handbook

In retrospect, he should have known better than to speak Latin in front of the books. How many times had Giles told him not to? But Xander was always a slow learner, and he'd read aloud in bad Latin in front of what he thought were Grecian texts.

The next thing he knew, two bodies were crashing to the floor of the New Watcher's Council's Library. And just his luck, they were both guys. One was a little stouter, with shaggy blond hair. The other was leaner with short brown hair. Xander blinked his remaining eye in surprise when the two men groaned.

"What happened?" The blond asked his companion. "Joxer, how did you get here?"

"Iolaus! My old sidekick!"

"I was never your sidekick, you buffoon."

"Where's the old Hercster?"

"Good question. Where's Xena and Gabrielle? I heard you were traveling with them now."

"Ah, my little Gaby," Joxer sighed. "She's been busy with some spiritual self discovery or something. I changed my theme song since I saw you and Herc last. Ya wanna here it?"

"No, that's okay. I'm good, really."

"He's Joxer the Mighty -" Joxer started singing until Iolaus clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Maybe later. Right now, we have to figure out where we are."

"Just ask the war veteran over there," Joxer said shrugging.

"The what -"

Sure enough, both of the men were looking at the slack-jawed man with one eye in confusion. Iolaus cringed at Joxer's callousness. Plastering on a jovial smile, he opened his hands in welcome.

"Hello there, friend. I'm Iolaus and this is Joxer. And you are?"

"Huh?" Xander said blankly.

"Do you know where we are, Huh?"

"What kind of name is Huh?" Joxer hissed.

"Shut up, Joxer."

"Huh?"

"Yes, you're Huh and I'm Iolaus and he's Joxer. Do You Know Where We Are?"

"Great, we found the village idiot," Joxer groaned.

"No, that'd be you."

"Hey!"

"Shut up, Joxer."
"Hey, look it's my book!"

"You're what?"

"My book on the perfect kind of sidekick! I mentioned you a few times."

That was how Giles found them twenty minutes later. Xander was staring blankly at them and the two other men were bickering and hitting each other.

"What is going on here, Xander?"

"I don't know, it's all Greek to me."