Full of crap House, by yellow notepaper

Disclaimer: sung to the tune of Mr. Brightside chorus

Fanfiction

Where I publish my bad songs

Which I am doing right now

For a odd odd purpose

To tell you we don't own the

Original Full House plot

But we do own this crap

Cuz we're total losers

Chapter Four

Far far away in the land of oz, an old man sat working at his desk. Sighing and closing his book, he coughed and grabbed a tissue from the nearby box. He blew his nose, alarming several birds outside, and stood up, stretching. Suddenly a long, fleshy object burst through the window and into the man's stomach.

He gasped for breath, leaning on the table for support, his legs collapsing beneath him. With a final groan, he was dead, not knowing that his long-lost son's fleshy object had finally found him.

in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps with YOUR MOM

Danny hiccupped loudly after his liver accidentally fell out of his ear.

"Bless you," muttered Jesse, wiping fluids off of his face.

"Your welcome!" exclaimed a bouncing Danny brightly.

at Disney world, a.k.a. Steve's house

"Oh DJ! You're so romantic! I'd love for you to pop my zits!" He hugged her tightly, slid his hand under her shirt, and took it off, flinging it into a corner and over a small camera that Michelle had set up.

"Aww man!" Michelle said disappointedly. "Oh well, at least the speakers are still working," she added brightly as she listened to the several moaning sounds coming from the amplifier she set up next to her bed.

"Oh Stebe," said DJ, dragging her hand over the hundreds of pimples that covered his entire body. "I lobe you so much!"

"I love your boobies…I mean I love you too!" he added quickly. Going for the gold, he reached out and grabbed one of her "boobies", accidentally pulling it so hard that it fell off into his hand. "Er… Oops…" he said sheepishly. "Well, on the brightside, now I can take a piece of you everywhere I go!" He licked his lips, and the one-boobed DJ giggled.

"Oh Stebe, your such a perb. I love your perbersion!" she exclaimed, popping several of his blackheads in her enthusiasm.

"I love it too…so so much…" Steve garbled, staring at her boobie that was jiggling in his big manly hand.

back to the future… ish… thing…

By now, Jesse and Danny were so delirious from blood loss that all they were doing was rolling around in the blood and using the wood floor like a water slide. A few hours later, Joey and "that chick" came home, hand-in-hand.

"OH MY FLIPPING GAWD!" Joey cried out in surprise. He had stumbled upon a love scene never before witnessed by human eyes. Here is the story of how it came to be.

Danny and Jesse had been happily lolling around on the floor for some time, until suddenly they realized how near to death they were. Danny started blubbering and Jesse gave an anguished cry. Suddenly a nice Faerie named Belinduh happened upon them and made all of their wounds disappear, and the blood was removed from the carpet.

"Danny!" Joey cried. "Jesse!" He hugged them both, then made out with Belinduh.

"Oh Joey," said Belinduh, giggling and poofing into dust. Apperantly being kissed made her turn into dandruff for 24 hours. Danny began to panic.

"DANDRUFF!" he screeched. "DANDRUFF! IN MY HOUSE!" He quickly reached for a small handheld vacuum cleaner (he kept 5 of them in every room in the house) and began sweeping frantically, holding the handle with his teeth.

"Oh Danny, you know I love it when you turn into a girlish clean freak," said Jesse with a silly, feminine laugh.

Danny's eyes turned smoky and dark, and Jesse could see shadowy desire in his brown eyes. He could feel his pants shrink. Actually, they shrunk so much that they burst open so Danny, Joey, and his ex-wife could all stare and gawk.

Danny suddenly dropped the vacuum and hurried up the stairs, making rather loud clanking sounds. "Hold on, darling!" he called down to Jesse.

"Ok, snugglebutt!" said Jesse, eagerly awaiting Danny's return and hiding his…thingie…behind a pillow.

"Hey Joey," Becky purred, sliding a hand up his shirt. "Lets go upstairs, baby."

Joey grinned as Becky moved her hand south, and waggled his eyebrows. He then lifted her into his arms and, ignoring her squeak, carried her upstairs.

Jesse sat down on the couch and turned on the tv, waiting for his beloved snuggling butt to return. A small cough was heard behind him, and he turned around so fast he cricked his neck.

Danny had his hairy stub-of-an-arm draped around the railing, his eyelids low and suggestive. He was draped in a long cloak that hid what he was wearing underneath, and Jesse found himself walking over to Danny and yanking off the robe, revealing a sexy black lingerie bra and underwear set that left nothing to the imagination. The bra was see-through, and since Danny had not had an operation performed to make him officially a girl, he must have had pretty big manboobs, because he actually had CLEAVAGE! His…erm…'bottom piece' consisted of a scrap of fabric tied to a string that looked uncomfortably wedged in his buttocks.

Jesse licked his lips as Danny stepped down off the stairs and began to undress him, lifting his shirt gently over his head with his foot (double jointed – w00t!) and revealing quite a lot of chest hair. Moving forward to Jesse's very cool leather pants, he promptly ripped them off with his teeth and threw them in a corner on top of a very high Stephanie, who had just stumbled through the door, un-noticed.

"Hey," said Jesse angrily. "I liked those pants!" Jesse ran over to his dead pants and began to cry like a little girl.

"Jesse…." said Danny slowly. "Wasn't I supposed to be the girl?"

"Oh yeah," said Jesse, walking back over to his man-girl and ripping off the little amount of clothing he (she…?) had left on. Stephanie began giggling madly, tripping over a couch and falling into a lamp in hysterics. "Sham hammmmmmm….." she moaned happily, quickly sticking a pillow down her shirt. "Look at meeeeeee!" she cried, waddling around the room. "I'm pregnant!hahahahahaha" Suddenly a cough was heard behind her. She turned around blearily and saw JoeJoe (the 21 year old crackhead) standing stock still in the doorway gaping at her blankly.

"You are?" he said, yawning. "Oh…I thought we had used a condom…but you never know…" he shrugged. "I was high….I think….oh yeah!" he shouted loudly, falling and twitching on the floor like a rabid hamster. "This guy gave me some granulated pigeon to smoke…wasn't half bad…" he muttered to himself.

Stephanie grabbed JoeJoe quickly and began to ravish him right then and there. They finished soon after and then went outside to smoke more animals. Danny and Jesse still hadn't noticed him, and were busy cleaning up their mess they had just made. "Oh JESSE," Danny squealed, kicking him in the chest due to his lack of arms. "You are so SEXY!"

"Yeah," Jesse said breezily, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. "What of it?"

Danny paused, then said, "Jesse, I want to have your baby."

A:N/HEYYYYYY pplz…thankies for the reviews…sry it took so long, I sent this to laur and she never sent it back, so I just finished it. Cliffie w00000t!