Disclaimer: All characters from The West Wing belong to Wells etc. Just borrowing them for fun.

Notes: Completely AU, written with original cast in mind. Tell me what you think!

Dear West Wing gang,

By the time you read this, I would either be gone or you found it while snooping around my drawers (DONNA!) Gosh, that sounds so cliché, but I can't put it any other way, that's what Sam's for! After you read this, you are going to want to kill me, but hopefully I wouldn't be there for it, well, maybe not, but I don't really have the choice.

So let's get straight to the point, afterall, I am the master politician around here and master politicians don't beat around the bush. While the President was in China, I started feeling a pain on my side and Donna bugged me about it. I just waved it off as the pain that I normally get when I'm tired. You all know very well that I get stiff when I'm tired.

So we got through that hurdle with the President, then I spent the whole weekend sleeping when the President gave an executive order to ban me from coming into work.

Even after sleeping through the weekend, I still felt a dull pain on my side, I thought I would go and talk to my doctor. Yes, despite what you may all think, I'm in fact capable of making an appointment on my own, I'm not THAT bad. Fine, maybe I am, but I did get by for 40 years without Donna. So, I went to my doctor, he ran some tests and I was diagnosed of liver cancer. After further tests, my doctor told me that I was in the advanced stages of cancer. (And yes, I can keep a secret as well.)

He told me that I have 6 months to live and I guess it took me a while to get used to the idea. I needed to come up with a plan, (and just for the record, my plans are GREAT!) meanwhile, I just threw myself into work. Every day, I come close to telling someone but I never managed to pluck up the courage to do so. It wasn't only that I didn't know how to tell you, I also didn't know what effect it would have on the administration. After everything the administration has been through, it does not deserve having a senior white house staffer being diagnosed for cancer steal its limelight in its last few months.

I also didn't want to be treated like an invalid. I just wanted to live my life. I know that if I told any of you, you would have fussed; I know it's all out of love (you know you love me really) but I really needed to finish what I wanted to do. I was born to BE a politician, my life aim was to get a President elected into the White House and I did it, I got him re-elected as well. We got through every scandal possible, I would like to think that I was part of what got us through all these scandals. (Don't laugh, Claudia Jean! I wasn't THAT much of a nightmare!)

Now that we know Santos is going to be the next President and the President is already a lame duck one, I feel that I have done my job and my deed here is done. It is therefore time to leave, I am sorry I have to leave you all and say goodbye to you this way, trust me when I tell you it wasn't what I wanted, but I didn't want you to think of me any different, I want you to remember me as the man I was, not the man I am becoming.

So I have babbled enough. (You would never think you'd hear me say that, huh?) I have left D.C. (I never thought I would do that either, but things change, I guess.) I have made arrangements for where I'm going to stay and I promise you I love it there so don't worry about me. I have all the legal side of things sorted out (Sorry Sam buddy, but I couldn't do it.) I've left an individual letter for each one of you and one for my mum as well. Please don't send her this, just send her the letter I wrote her and tell her I'm sorry but in order to leave, I had to do it this way. If you ever really really need me, which I doubt you will since I'm no use to you any more, one of you will always know where to find me.

It is only sooner or later that we all leave each other. I'm sorry I'm not going to be at the inaugural balls. Please send me pictures of it, I want to remember you all looking beautiful. It's always fun to laugh at Donna's gomers as well.

Someday, we'll meet again . For now, I'll be happy with all the memories we've shared, through the good times and the bad. You've been my family for the past 9 years and those years were undoubtedly the best years of my life. Admittedly, there have been bad times, very bad times, but I would NEVER trade those days for anything.

Thank you for making the bad times more bearable and the good times sweeter. I love you all and I'm sorry for leaving you so soon and deserting you in the final days of the peak of our careers but I hope you will understand.

With this, I leave you with a heavy heart but I know that it is all for the best. I'm sorry and I love you all.

Yours always,

Josh