Disclaimer: See Chapter. 1

Note: I have taken some liberties as to how Josh and Sam met, so bear with me. (I guess I'm allowed since this is an AU fic.) Sorry it's taken so long to update, I didn't have access to for ages.

Dear Sam,

As I sit here, writing the most difficult set of prose I have ever written in my life (yes, including Bill drafting); all I want is to be able to come to you for help for you are DA man for words. I can express myself politically and get any politician to listen to me but we all know that when it comes to personal feelings, I'm absolutely hopeless.

You may be asking why in that case I didn't tell you earlier. Trust me, there have been times when I wanted nothing more than to just spit everything out and pretend that it will all be okay but I simply could not be so selfish and dump this on the administration. You may think me silly or stupid but I hope you will understand.

Just before I leave, I feel that I have one confession to make: what I was a junior staffer and you an intern, I was sceptical about sharing a flat with a young, good-looking, Princeton graduate (yes, you read right, I just acknowledged that you are good-looking. Don't you DARE tell CJ or Toby and certainly NOT Donna, I have a reputation to keep, you know.) but it was one of the best decisions I have made in my life (and believe me, I have made a good many excellent decisions in my lifetime.).

Buddy, you are my best friend and the brother I never had, I'm sorry I will never head any of your campaigns, I'm sorry I'll never see you standing on the steps of the Capitol at inauguration and I'm sorry I'll never be your CoS (assuming you want me that is.) but most of all, I'm sorry I wouldn't be there to be cool Uncle Josh to your kids and tell them that their daddy was the recording secretary of the Gilbert and Sullivan Society at college and spent an entire day figuring out why we need pennies.

However, these things can't be helped, fate always has ways of messing up my life and this time it is no different, I don't even know why I am surprised anymore. At least I will leave knowing that despite all the problems we have faced and all the mistakes we've made, we have done some good in the past 8 years and your children will benefit from that.

Thank you for all the help and support you have given me in the past but I'm afraid I have one last favour to ask from you and I hope that you will agree: please look after my mother for me? I know that I don't have to worry about her financially but she has no one left and she's always liked you and treated you like her son. At least it'll give her someone to pester and brag about at the community centre with her friends.

I'm sorry I had to say goodbye this way but I wouldn't have been able to do it any other way. Good luck Sam. Don't EVER lose your idealism. Just remember that anything, no matter how small, as long as it is right, is worth fighting for.

All my love,

Josh