Madness and Utter Nonsense
By angw
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate... Atlantis or Star Trek...I'm just borrowing them. I'd like to keep Stargate Atlantis for a while though...as an early christmas present... No? ...okay then...just let me have Rodney... No? Damn.
A/N The following was the result of many hours of careful writing...nah just from email banter to the writer I beta for...and I thought I'd share my madness. Thanks to the Marie for betaing this. The tables have been turned now haven't they.
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Mmmm crossovers can be fun…
Do you recall the famous "the Stargate's falling over and we probably won't be able to get it back up" incident?
No?
So you probably wouldn't remember the original Star Trek crew beaming onto Atlantis during said incident would you.
Still not ringing any bells?
Okay, sit down and I will tell you all about it.
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The Stargate's teetering and everyone is in panic mode. At that moment during the crisis, weird lights shimmer into three human forms.
Everything in the control room seems suspended in time as the members of the Atlantis expedition witness the bizarre event.
There's a collective gasp and more than a few gleeful squeaks from the scientists - it's Star Trek - and then the rest of Atlantis exclaim as one...WHO?
Kirk looks around and says, "I...think...there...is a…prob - lem..."
Spock raises an eyebrow at Kirk's obvious speech impediment, the addition of lengthy pauses between each word. Flicking open the communicator he asks Uhura to scan the whole area with the sensors.
She then states the obvious. "The sensors indicate the circular device is going to fall over."
Scotty's voice booms over the communicator and explains how he is going to save the day. Somehow the Dilithium crystals are going to be used to fix the problem. (Handy multipurpose things aren't they?)
At this point Rodney walks away from the gate, toward the control room, in a huff and Scotty says that he is "giving it all he can"...(for some reason) and then the gate is back in it's original position.
During this time Kirk and Sheppard stand opposite the gate, to the left of the stairs, discussing the finer points of leadership and its perks.
Almost at the stairs, muttering under his breath something about how the Dilithium crystals "magical" properties are not even based in realms of science Rodney turns around, crosses his arms and glares at them.
"There can be only one Kirk in this scifi universe Colonel...there just aren't enough women in the Pegasus galaxy, on the planets or even ascended for the both of you."
"Indeed." Teal'c raises his eyebrows (ohhh how'd he get there?) then he and Spock get into a discussion about emotions and how they best serve an alien on scifi TV. There are no need for words when you have eyebrows.
Scotty and Beckett strike up a conversation about their clans, haggis, kilts, their mothers and how it is so bizarre people say they can't understand what they are saying in stressful situations.
Ronon and Teyla look around and figure it's just another bizarre Earth "custom" and leave, heading toward the mess hall.
Dr McCoy (not McKay but they do sound similar don't they...) stands there shaking his head in disbelief. They travel around in space only to arrive here, in Atlantis, and meet a bunch of people from Earth.
If you looked at Weir you could see she was assessing the unusual situation.
Mmm...we maybe cut off from Earth but at least we don't look like we are from the sixties...okay okay admittedly the scientists are experimenting with off-planet clothing, and oddly someone keeps stealing Ronon's pants, but still not everyone likes to wear the same clothing...well...except for the military. Although, she suspected Rodney must have brought 50 blue shirts with him.
Weir walks over to McCoy to express her concerns.
"Excuse me, but the uniforms we have are not quite up to scratch anymore. You see, we have been cut off from our supplier so we now have to make do with what comes to hand…" she explains waving her hands at the SGA teams then, nods to the individuals in the spandex getups "...but what are their excuse?"
"I'm a Doctor, not a fashion consultant…although I must say that is a lovely red shirt you're wearing…"
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So there you have it. The whole sordid tale.