Author's notes:

To King Sephiroth: A biiig hug Thanks for reviewing. So you found it interesting, huh? Since you are my first reviewer, I dedicate this chapter to you.

To Stickykeys: Thanks for calling it whitty. I'm glad you liked it.

Other notes: I realize Chapter One had quite a few errors. I apologize for that and promise a significant reduction in errors.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story aside from Sioris, Melvin, and Jenna. All unowned parties, franchises, ect. Are once again used without permission.

Chapter 2: Fighting the Darkness 101

Ahem...Sioris found himself-

Coming soon to a theatre near you:

WTF? Movie previews? This must be Disney's doing. DAMN YOU TO HELL!

He killed his mother...

"He killed my mother..."

Last time...he was just a plot tool...but now, this time, its personal.

"No! Please don't kill me!" Screamed a hunter being charged by a buck.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the woods...

Bambi 2: Bambi's Revenge

"I'll stomp anyone who gets in my way...even you, Thumper."

Fall 2005

Okay...that's one movie I'll be sure to skip. Now on to the story:

Sioris found-

Coming soon to own on video and Disney DVD:

Damn it!

There really wasn't any reason for another sequel...

"Why in all the hells did they make another damn sequel?"

Now, Simba's back for no other reason then to put more of your hard earned cash into our pockets.

The Lion King 3: For No Apparent Reason.

Own it Tuesday on video and Disney DVD.

Umm okay. Are we done with the previews already?

And now your feature presentation:

Finally!-I mean...Ahem...

Sioris found himself bewildered and amazed.

"I'm bewildered and amazed." He said.

Well, it seems you know what's going on here, so, I think we can skip the chit-chat and get strait to the point. Now, if you could just move a little closer to the middle of the painting that would be most helpful.

I seem to be living out the story of Kingdom Hearts in the afterlife. Sioris thought to himself.

Brilliant deduction Holmes!

"Shut the hell up with your sarcasti..."Sioris began." Now wait just one cotton pickin'...oh never mind." Sioris looked around at the stained glass depicting Snow White below his feet. And the endless darkness that stretched out before him. "Oh well, as long as I don't have to be in Chain of Memories..." He said, finally making up his mind to walk to the center of the pedestal.

There was an earthquake, or some kind of vibration, when he stood at the center. Then, three smaller pedestals rose from the large one that Sioris is standing on. Each one had a weapon hovering silently above it. A sword, a shield, and a scepter.

Power sleeps within you...If you give it form...Well...You'll have power.

"Profound." Sioris said facetiously.

Choose well.

"I think I'll choose the sword."

The sword? Sioris, I expected more from you! Is that all you know how to do is fight?

"Fine, I won't choose the sword. Well then, how about the shield?"

The shield is for woosies. Choose something else.

"Whatever. I thought this was my choice. I'll take the god damn scepter,"

Suddenly, a completely different voice was heard all over the cosmos.

SIORIIIIIIIS!

"My mom? WTF?"

Sioris, put that accursed thing down! Witchcraft is a sin and you know it!

"Oh, good dear lord..."

And don't use the lord's name in vain!

"Sorry..." He said stepping down from the pedestal. "You got anything else, Mysterious Disembodied Voice?"

Hmmm...Let me see...Oh. I have a copy of the book "My Life" by former president Bill Clinton. Look, it's even autographed!

"And what am I supposed to do with that?"

Short of effectively cheating on your wife with your secretary without her finding out, I have no idea.

SIORIIIIIS! DON'T YO DARE READ THAT DAMN BOOK! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT DEMOCRATS- rant, rave, ect.

Well, that did it. The sound of Sioris' loud, nagging mother's voice had caused the stained glass painting below Sioris to crack.

"Oh, shit."

WHAT DID YOU SAY? SIORIIIIIS!

"Listen, just gimmie the book, quick!"

Sioris had received to book moments before the glass gave way. He fell seemingly for thousands of feet, though he didn't fall any distance at all for it was all in his head. Speaking of Sioris' head, he landed on it, hard.

"Oww! Shit!"

Sioris got up and looked around. Another pedestal, with a stained glass painting depicting Sleeping Beauty.

You've gained the ability to fight.

"With a book?"

You chose it. No complaining.

"But nobody would let me choose anything else!"

Excuses, excuses. Look, there's a-

"Heartless! Got it! Die!" Sioris smacked the Shadow with the book, ruining its collector's value.

"Ow! That hurt, bitch!" Said the shadow, retaliating with a claw to Siors' gut.

"Ooo..." Sioris picked caught his breath. "You little mother fucker." With that, Sioris kicked the shadow off the pedestal.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The little heartless screamed to his death.

"Well...He definitely was knocked off his high horse." Sioris

Heh-heh. Good one!

"I hope that was a girl Heartless 'cause I think it's fallen for me." Sioris joked…sigh…again.

Okay, Sioris, that's enough.

"Well, we all know he was only setting himself up for the fall."

It's not funny anymore.

"I bet-"

Look out behind you!

"Humph. I don't know who you think I am but I'm not falling for that one." Sioris boasted. "Get it, falling? BWAHAHAAHA! It's a joke, see? Hey, don't you-"Suddenly, Sioris was drop kicked from behind by another shadow and sent flying over the edge.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Sioris panicked while tumbling down further into darkness.

Idiot…

And upon landing on his head once again, "ouch", he discovered he was once again on another pedestal, this one depicting three other Princesses of Heart. He had also noticed a door in the middle of the stained glass. He touched it; his hand went strait through it. It was also transparent. Then out of nowhere, a crate appeared.

You can push large crates.

"Just make the door solid!"

Fine, have it your way.

"Thank you." Sioris said, spitefully. Suddenly the door became solid as he had asked.

Go ahead, open it.

Sioris did as the Disembodied Voice had said. He reached for the handle and pulled the door towards himself slowly. Suddenly, the doors began to open by themselves, then a flash of light and…Elephants? Large elephants charging at Sioris from the other side of the door.

"AHHHHHHH!" Sioris slammed the door shut, frantically.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

The Disembodied Voice seemed to take pleasure in this.

"St…stupid…cartoon gags." Sioris said, trying to calm himself down.

Okay, okay. For real this time. Open the door.

"HMPH. Fine." Sioris pulled the door open, once again. Another flash of light, Sioris whited out.

Sioris awoke in a crowded open hall. There were hundreds of people walking in and out of booths. But they were all unimportant. Not just because no matter whom they cast their votes for, the winner will take all and the guy they voted for will fade into obscurity, but because they were all in black in white and only Sioris and three men in tuxedos were in color.

Hold on, the door won't open just yet. Now answer the questions that these three gentlemen have for you.

Sioris walked up to the first man. Immediately, the man asked him a question:

"What are you most afraid of?

"Terrorists? The effect that sending American jobs out to other countries will have on the economy? John Kerry?" The first man asked.

"I'd have to say the second one." Sioris answered. The man only gave him a disgusted look. "Ookay…" With that, Sioris went to the second man.

"What do you want out of life?

"To see balance restored to the Senate? To see Sadam Hussein executed? To prosper under the soon-to-be Bush Dynasty?" Asked the second man.

"I'd like to see balance restored to the senate. Too many Right-Wing nuts, ya know?" Sioris answered. The man looked at Sioris angrily. So Sioris went over to the third man.

"What is most important to you?

"Turning every nation to democracy? True freedom of choice for all? The economy?" Was the third man's question.

"Hmmm. True freedom of choice for all!" Sioris answered. The man merely shook his head. "What?"

You wish for the U.S Senate to have balance between right and left.

The most important thing to you is true freedom of choice over life.

"Wait, I never said THAT"

Shut up, kid, I'm talking here.

Ahem, you are afraid of Conservative plans for the economy which are so obviously right and you are a wrong Left-Wing liberal for not following it blindly.

Is this okay?

"Wait, what?"

I'll take that as a yes.

"Wait, hold the god damn phone!"

I'm sorry, but you're rights to vote have been put into question. We feel as though you are not fit to have any part in deciding the future of our country. Please leave.

"Now what the hell did that have to do with anything? And-Hey! What? I can't vote 'cause I'm liberal? You right-wing lawyer bastards! Hey, are you listening? Hey…" But before Sioris could finish his rebuttal, he whited out again.

Hey kid, don't sweat It, you can't vote. You're only sixteen anyways. So don't worry about it…even if you are a stupid pro-choice liberal bastard.

Sioris awoke on yet another pedestal tower thing. This one had yet another stained glass painting.

"You guys need some decorating ideas. These designs are starting to get repetitive." Sioris complained.

Just shut up and fight.

Sioris stared at the stained glass painting, watching it grow dark. Shadows arose from the floor, ready to attack.

"Oh crud…What the hell am I supposed to do with a fricken book?" Sioris complained. "Think…think…think… … …"

All the shadows jumped at him in unison. Sioris ducked under their claws. "Shit!"

Suddenly and inexplicably, Merlin appeared. (Yes, the one from The Sword in the Stone.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Proclaimed Merlin.

"Kickass!" Sioris exclaimed.

"Presto!" Merlin said.

"Uhhh…'presto'? I retract my former statement…that's gay." Sioris said.

Suddenly, a maelstrom of lightning rained from the sky, smiting the shadows where they stand.

"Okay, that is kickass."

"Well, that takes care of that." Merlin said, advancing towards Sioris.

"Dude, you have kickass magic! How do you do that shit?" Sioris exclaimed in all its vulgarity.

"Ummm…thanks…I think…"Merlin said. "As for how I did it…I am Merlin, a sorcerer and friend of King Arthur."

"Merlin? You serious?"

"Yes, yes I am Merlin the sorcerer."

"Sweet!" Exclaimed Sioris.

"Yes, I suppose it is…sweet. I'd like to show you more of the wonders of magic and even how to use it, but I'm afraid we must be going." The old wizard said.

"You're coming with me? Sweet! You'd be much better as a party member than a talking duck with anger management problems."

Merlin blinked, wondering where he came up with such a random and preposterous idea. Unbeknownst to him, however, is that Sioris already knows what is to happen in this story…or so he thinks.

"Way to give it away, man." Sioris said, somehow addressing me, the narrator.

Oh, bother…Anyways, back to Sioris and Merlin…

"Well now, we should be going. Presto!" At a wave of Merlin's wand an ascending bridge of stained glass was summoned.

"Once again, I must say, KICKASS!" Sioris exclaimed. "But why do you ruin your potential coolness by saying 'pesto' all the time? Presto is sort of…ummm…"

"Gay, right?" Merlin asked.

"Yeah." Sioris replied. "So what gives?"

"Disney won't let me say 'I call upon the dark forces of Heaven, Hell, and all natural forces abound! Deal my divine judgment and do my biddings!' The bastards."

"Oh…"

"Well, let's be going then." But before Merlin could make a full step, a large, black tentacle reached up from below and grabbed Merlin by the leg, pulling him off the platform. Luckily, He caught the edge of the pedestal, holding on for dear life as the tentacle continues to pull at him.

"I-I-Its Disney!" Exclaimed Merlin, still holding on to the ledge. "Their mad at me for what I said about them. The tentacle tugged hard. "Ahhh!" The wizard screamed, but still he held on.

"Merlin!" Sioris reached for Merlin, but it was too late.

"Run, you fool." Were Merlin's last words before being pulled into the dark abyss.

"MEEEEEERRRRLIIIIIIIINNNN!"

It was too late, he was gone.

"Hey…that wasn't some kind of cheap Lord of the Rings reference, was it?"

Ummm…no, of course not. Heh-heh.

"Okay, just checking!"

Sioris, saddened by the death of his new friend, walked reluctantly up the glass stairway, to (yawn) yet another platform with a stained glass painting. A ray of light beamed down to the middle of the platform. And not even Sioris is dumb enough to go strait into the light. ANYWONE should be aware that that is suicide.

The closer you get to the light…the darker your shadow becomes.

Guess not. Yup, Sioris walked strait into the light. Inexplicably, his shadow rose from the floor, coming to life. It grew and grew until it became a monstrous darkside heartless.

"Holy shit! I forgot about this part!"

But don't be afraid…you hold the mightiest weapon of all…

"But it won't save you money on car insurance." Said the Darkside.

"Huh?" Said Sioris, surprised that the Darkside could talk.

"Why haven't you called Geico?" Asked the Darkside in an angry, booming voice.

"Because Allstate is better." Sioris answered.

"RAAAAAAAA!" Now he's pissed.

"Holy shit!" The Darkside's fist went for Sioris, but he dodged it easily.

"God, dammit…what am I gonna do?" With that, Sioris desperately flung the book at Darkside's hand. Doing nothing, or so Sioris thought…

"AHHHHH! Paper cut!" The Darkside screamed in pain, holding his right hand. "Mooooommmyyyy! Kiss it and make it better!" It screamed running off the platform into darkness.

Sioris' eyes were as wide as saucers after that display. "W…T…F…?"

Suddenly, darkness began to cover Sioris.

But don't be afraid…

"I'm not. I know that I'm gonna wake up right after this black stuff swallows me up." Sioris said, sinking into darkness.

Fine, whatever.

Sioris blacked out.

Author's notes: Well, that's the end of chapter 2. Any good? Next chapter is a spin off of the events at Destiny Islands. Stay tuned for plenty of surprises. Please read and review. Thanks.