Thanx 4 ur reviews (and Marshmellows...) I am a Banana and Lemo the Lemon!(sorry Lemo, you cant have a Greenday CD...!) )

Chapter nine: The Boulevard and Blourish and Flotts

For quite awhile Barry and Mione just stared at the sign.

"Isn't there a song called-" Mione began.

"Uh huh."

"Is it a joke?"

"Nope," Barry pointed to the sign, in small print it said:

'This is not a joke'

"They made it pretty clear..."

"I guess they must get that reaction a lot. I wonder which came first; the song or this place."

"Dunno."

"Barry, please! Would you say something more...conversationalist!"

Barry appeared to snap back to reality,

"Sorry, Mione! Now how are we going to get out of this place?"

The pair looked around, perhaps in hope of seeing a sign reading: 'This way out'. Unfortunately, there wasn't one, so they decided to just walk ahead. As soon as they stepped forward though, the whole Boulevard seemed to flip upside down and images flashed past them.

"SHIT!" Mione screamed, clinging onto Barry's shoulder, "Barry, we're going to die!"

Too scared to move the pair looked down, and immediately became dizzy, the ground appeared to have slipped from under their feet and now, it seemed as though they were standing on the sky. Barry's head brushed the ground as he moved.

"Please, Barry! Say something!"

"Fuck."

"Wow that was brilliant and wise!" Mione said sarcastically, "If I wanted that kind of answer I would have said it myself!"

Images continued to flash past them.

"What are they...?" Mione muttered, as she watched Barry looking at the images. There were all sorts of horrible images flashing past; sick animals; dying humans; polluted ponds, lakes and seas; and a close up of Michael Jackson's nose.

"Mione, we're going to move...If it doesn't work as planned, then well...It's better to die quickly than to die slowly of hunger..."

"Barry..." Mione whimpered.

"C'mon! One...Two...Three..."

Barry and Mione both took a step, the world tipped back up the right way and they were in an empty street again - on the dusty ground, on their ass.

"Well, that was odd," Barry said brushing Mione's back off as they got up.

"I guess you could call it odd...I'd call it bloody terrifying - but that's just me!"

"Well, I guess we better continue!" Barry stepped forward and Mione followed, together the pair walked down the deserted street. The wind howled in their ears as the occasional tumbleweed blew past them. Perched nearby a vulture preened itself, spotting the bird, Mione let out a small whimper. Suddenly Barry noticed something in the distance, and the something was moving fast towards Mione and him.

"Oh, crap Mione. We got company..." Preparing himself for the worst, Barry stepped in front of Mione shielding her from the approaching something. Then it came into view, Mrs. Weasel and Lemo - not the something he was expecting, but still bloody scary...

"BARRY!" Lemo threw herself at him, knocking him off his feet, "YOU'RE ALIVE!"

Barry laughed,

"No shit Sherlock, go tell Watson!"

Lemo laughed as well - a little more insane than Barry,

"Idiot!" she helped him up.

"Mione! Barry! We were hoping you had gone only one grate too far!" Mrs. Weasel looked relieved; she looked Barry and Mione up and down, "Why are you covered in dirt?"

"Uhh...it kind of flipped up the wrong way and -"

"Okay dear, I'll clean you up! Now Arthur and the others have gone ahead and are meeting us in Blourish and Flotts. So I guess we better get a move on!"

Inside Blourish and Flotts was crowded and noisy as people rushed about and joined the long queue. What the queue was for exactly, Barry had no idea. Mrs. Weasel saw their group halfway down the queue and they hurried to join them.

"It's a book signing Molly!" Mr. Weasel said excitedly.

"Which author Arthur?" Mrs. Weasel asked standing on tip toes to try and get a view.

"Um...I'm not sure..."

"It's Gilderoy Knockharp Mrs. Weasel!" Emo exclaimed, Mrs. Weasel's face flushed happily,
"Really!"

Emo nodded,

"Yup."

"Oh!" Mrs. Weasel tip toed even more higher and eagerly.

Don rolled his eyes,

"Mum fancies Knockharp..."

Mrs. Weasel blushed,

"I do not!"

Finally the queue shortened enough to get a good view of Gilderoy Knockharp. He sat at a wooden desk, peacock quill raised. His blonde hair was perfect, his clothes were perfect, his smile was perfect and his eyes were the deepest blue you've ever seen. At frequent intervals he would look up and flashed everyone a dazzling smile, you could almost hear the cheesy twink!.

"Why does he have to be so old?" Mione said dreamily.

The rest of the younger females among them moaned in agreement. The males on the other hand exchanged jealous glances.

"He's such an idiot!" Don said.

Andrew looked Knockharp up and down,

"Well he is kind of hot..."

"Drew! I took the whole Falling-in-love-with-McGonagall, but I don't think our relationship can with stand you being gay!"

Andrew's face glowed red as everyone looked at him,

"I was just trying to see it from your point of view..."

"Oh! In that case! You're so sweet!"

The queue continued to shorten and Mrs. Weasel and the girls began to get more excited.

Suddenly, Knockharp looked up to flash yet another smile, when Barry caught his eye,

"Well! Isn't it the less-attractive-than-myself Barry Saucepan!"

Barry looked like a deer caught in head lights as Knockharp insisted he be brought up the queue. Knockharp cleared his throat,

"Everyone! May I have your adoring attention!"

Barry continued to look like a deer as Don looked like he might throw up.

"It appears I have been given the privilege of having the one and only Barry Saucepan as a fan!"