Sorry about the delay for the third chapter. Shinn angsting over his dead sister made me to sad to write. That and the perverted part. That was funny though.
If I owned GS/GSD, those riots wouldn't be happening because all the crap in Fuduka's interview wouldn't exist, and Mayu would live. But guess what! I don't! Oh yeah- I also don't own the bike rack joke. ;points to digital-dragon-master; Tis hers.
Anyway, the next chapter of School is Hell!
School is Hell
By: yamihawkeye
Chapter 3: Stellar's Innocence
"Where do you go, Shinn, when there is no one else to turn to?"
Shinn swore loudly and chucked a pebble into the water. The stone made only a small splash in the lake, however, infuriating Shinn even more. He wanted an explosion, to completely ruin something, like his life was blown apart. The wind whisked around him, pressing hard upon his face. The boy blamed the wind for the watery feeling in his rust-colored eyes, but he knew the real cause. The sunset gave his hunched figure a bold outline, black etched over an orange sun; darkness upon light. And the light was slowly sinking, sinking beyond the horizon, moving past Shinn's reach. While the sun, the beacon of light, would rise again, he felt as if the world was thrown into eternal darkness.
Mayu...
Screw the world, screw this life, screw the system, and everything. Give it what you got- forget peace, and make a difference...
Shinn frowned and threw his headphones against the wall. He was bored- bored and angry- and that never makes a good combination. He stalked over to his computer and smashed his hands upon the keyboard. It was highly unlikely that anyone would be on this late- it was 1:00 am after all, but he decided to check anyways. He glanced at his screenname, Shinn'sShin. Mayu had picked it out for him a few years back, when she was seven.
"But it's funny! Shinn'sShin, get it? Shin is spelled like Shinn!" she chirped.
"Fine, if it'll shut you up," he scowled, although inside he did admit it was cute.
"YAY!" his sister squealed. Shinn had to hide his smile in a smirk.
"Silly girl..."
"Silly girl..." he whispered, his voice cracking, on the verge of a fresh bout of tears. He sighed and sat back for a few minutes, trying to strangle the sadness that had welled up inside of him. After he had regained his composure he realized he couldn't use that screenname anymore, he probably would become depressed everytime he looked at it. It was time for a change.
He clicked the New Name button eagerly; new sn's whirling around in his mind, ripe and ready to be chosen. But as he stared at the box, they all vanished. Did he really want to get rid of his memory? Did he really want to throw away this, his dead sister's choice? His sister who had been hit by a drunk driver? His sister, who he had expected to see the minute he walked through the door, but was instead greeted by cops? His sister, who he swore to avenge? Thoughts of vengeance brewed in his head, and he grew angrier and angrier by the second.
Type New Name
Here
CrimsonMidnightRage
Fllay frowned and twirled in her chair lazily. She couldn't sleep, not one bit. Meyrin had guaranteed her that she would be able to snare Kira, and the adrenaline rush she had received from that statement, though hours ago, kept her going. She spun around a few more times before facing her computer again. None of her friends were on. She scowled and began typing in usernames randomly, once or twice she found a couple of real ones, like FllayLuver101 and BusDriverBob13, but none of them were online. By fate or coincidence she chanced upon typing CrimsonMidnightRage. She didn't know what compelled her to do so, it was an unusual name, but this person was online.
xichigoburnx: hey
On the other side of the internet sat Shinn. He stared, confused. Who the heck is xichigoburnx? he muttered. None of his friend had that name as far as he knew, and who would be on at this time anyway?
CrimsonMidnightRage: who are you?
Fllay began to type her real name, then paused. What if this man is some kind of pervert? she wondered. He could be out to molest young, innocent, teens like moi! Is it even a guy? She sighed and typed another name.
xichigoburnx: sakana. call me saka
CrimsonMidnightRage: I don't know a sakana
xichigoburnx: well, i was typing random names into the search and found you
CrimsonMidnightRage: oh
xichigoburnx: so, who are you?
CrimsonMidnightRage: Shinn
Fllay frowned. Shinn… that sounded familiar. Hadn't Luna mentioned him in passing once or twice? I wonder if he's the same one…
xichigoburnx: man, its like 1:15 am here
It was Shinn's turn to go into shock. Someone else is up? I wonder if they're from around here. Regardless of the fact that they could be anywhere within the time zone, Shinn figured that they had to be nearby. How right he was.
CrimsonMidnightRage: o0 wow
xichigoburnx?
CrimsonMidnightRage: same here
Now it was Fllay's turn to gasp again. "It's gotta be him," she muttered.
xichigoburnx: small world
CrimsonMidnightRage: yeah
Fllay began to squeal under her breath, she couldn't believe she had stumbled upon someone she knew just like that. She rolled her chair back and forth, not noticing that her father had heard the racket and was standing in the door way. The red-head began to spin in a circle, but caught herself immediately when she saw him.
"Hi-Daddy-I-love-you!" she squeaked, trying to think fast.
"Fllay," Siegel Clyne frowned deeply, "what at you doing up? Go to bed."
"Alright, but let me say bye first," she whined and turned back to the computer.
xichigoburnx: hey shinn- my dad woke up gotta go
CrimsonMidnightRage: k
xichigoburnx Signed Off
Morning…
Meyrin was running, running as fast as she could; after all, she had to. Not for gym, but to start a conversation. Nothing like a brisk morning jog, she thought sarcastically. She was nearing her target now…
Meyrin shut her eyes tight, bracing for the impact. Three… Two… One…
BAM!
Meyrin slammed into Kira and they both toppled over, books and papers scattering everywhere. She turned bright red and scrambled to pick herself up. "I'm so sorry!" she shrieked, and began to babble incoherently. Suddenly this idea seemed like a disaster. "I didn't mean to, I wasn't looking and- and- and-" she gasped, hefting Kira off the ground. Kira's friends didn't know what to think, none of them could react. By the time they deciphered her rushed words she would already have said two more sentences. Annoyed, Sai frowned.
"Who are you?" he sighed. Man- she's worse than Kuzzey when he rambles…
"Meyrin- Meyrin Clyne," she gasped before continuing her long, drawn out, narration of nothing. Suddenly, a puzzle was solved in Sai's mind.
"Wait a minute, Clyne? Are you related to Fllay?" he cut in.
"And Lacus?" Kira chirped.
Meyrin nodded solemnly. So, this plan worked after all. They knew her now, so talking wouldn't be too hard.
"Cool," the boys chorused before everyone lapsed into an awkward silence.
"Sooo… why were you running, anyway?" Kira ventured.
Meyrin's eyes widened like a deer in the headlights. What am I supposed to say? Oh, sorry Kira, but I'm helping my evil, bitching sister, Fllay, seduce you so she doesn't put a knife in my head- and this was the only way I could think of starting a conversation. Hope you don't mind.
"I- I was running from those guys," she stammered- pointing to some juniors. It was a pretty believable lie; after all, Yuuna Seiran was a part of that group. Yuuna was supposed to be a senior, but poor grades had held him back. Rumors have circulated about how he purposely stayed back to hit on the junior girls, whom he thought were pretty than the ones his age. Besides, there were witnesses who heard him say that he had a dating advantage over the other guys in his grade because he was older. He needs the advantage though- since his hair style isn't doing anything for him at all.
Kira frowned. "Seiran, again?" his friends nodded in agreement.
Meyrin smiled inwardly. Her plan had worked. "Oh yeah, they were calling me wimp and crybaby because they think pigtails are for babies." Okay, time to bring in the tears. The red-haired girls blinked once, twice- and her eyes took on a glassy, watery look. I ought to take drama, she mused as Kira patted her shoulder awkwardly.
"Hey, its okay, don't listen to them. What does Yuuna know about style anyway? Seriously- light purple mullets are so 1970 A.D." He smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Don't worry, alright?"
Meyrin smiled shakily and nodded. "Okay…" There was a pause. "You know, you remind me of how nice Fllay is." Kira's eyes widened as Sai smiled.
Of course Fllay is kind, the fiancé figured.
Kuzzey was the smart one. Fllay… nice… please God, don't let me choke.
"I… I do?"
Meyrin nodded eagerly. "Yes. I think you two would get along well with each other." There was a stunned silence. Meyrin shifted uncomfortably before running off.
"Well," Sai frowned, "that was weird."
Passing Period…
"You never lay off, do you Shinn?"
"ALRIGHT! THAT ONE WAS AN ACCIDENT AND YOU ALL KNOW IT!"
"So you mean yesterday wasn't?"
"Wha? No- I mean- I mean you know what I mean!"
"Do we? Do we really?"
Shinn Asuka had done it again. This time, he fell backwards onto the hallway floor. In a rush, Stellar rushed over to help him up… only problem was, he saw under her skirt. Luckily, this time she didn't understand why everyone made such a fuss, so Shinn still had a head. It however, did not save them from the groups teasing him like he hoped it would. He knew it was foolish; Luna, Auel, Vino, Rey, and Meyrin wouldn't forget prime embarrassment material like that.
"Pervert," scoffed Auel, dragging Stellar away from him. "Now, Stellar, you be careful around Shinn, understand? Shinn is a very bad person." He began in mocking tones, like a brother giving guidance.
Stellar just cocked her head and smiled a sweet smile, clueless. "No, Shinn seems nice."
"Yeah," the scarlet-eyed boy smirked, "and if I remember correctly, weren't you slapped yesterday too? Leaning on Meyrin a little too hard? Perverted freak."
Meyrin turned red at the recall of her actions, they seemed so childish to her now. "Well… it was only a reflex! Since he was choking, when Auel was leaning on me he..." she trailed off before continuing again, "...grabbed my bra strap... My hand moved on my own! I swear!" Her friends stared, it was so silent you might have heard a pin drop.
"Lemme guess, I shouldn't have said that." she whispered meekly.
"Yes, you definitely should not have." Rey smiled slightly as he spoke, watching a red-faced Auel inch away from a furious Lunamaria.
"Heeelp meeee!" Auel whimpered, scurrying around to hide behind Meyrin as the older sister lunged. He clutched her arm in mock fright. Big mistake.
"Let go of my sister. Now."
"Eep!" The boy jumped back a foot before proceeding to go into a mood that Vino once described as glooming.
"Awww. You really do care," Meyrin grinned cockily at her sister.
"Shut up…" Luna snapped. She had to save her face, and fast. "I- I just didn't want you to lose your virginity first. Yeah…" she muttered, her cheeks turning different shades of read, until it finally matched with her hair. Oh God, that had to be the worst excuse ever. They probably think I'm so sort of slut! She wanted nothing more but to bury her head right then, to creep into a bomb shelter, lock the doors, and then blow it up.
Everyone went red; Meyrin and Auel began to choke, and Shinn, even Rey, turned bright red at this thought.. To be more exact, everyone but Stellar did. She just smiled, unsure of what Lunamaria said.
Science…
Lacus glanced down at the note Cagalli had slipped her before it was torn out of her hands by Yzak Joule.
The Note
C: What the heck is he doing?
L: I don't know, but I'm sure he has his reasons.
C: Come on! I mean, its not even math!
L: True, maybe he-
"Excuse me, but could you please give that back?" Lacus frowned, reaching for the paper. Yzak sneered and shifted over to the side of the desk, out of the girl's reach.
"What's this?" he smirked as he read it. "Mr. La Flaga is a dunce, isn't he? Mr. Le Crueset always said so." Tossing the note back to the girls, he motioned towards the board. "Look, now he's not only writing equations- but getting them wrong too."
It was true:
1+4917 is 5, 12-813 is 48, 1x370 is 0…
"I don't get it," hissed Cagalli. "How can he make those mistakes!"
"Since you're a girl- I guess you wouldn't understand," Athrun Zala whispered after hearing them converse.
"What's that supposed to mean!"
"Have you noticed where he's looking yet?" the blue haired boy stated it as if it were obvious. Surprised, she turned about and tried to follow his eye line. What she saw…
"That pervert!" The malicious gleam in her amber eyes showed that it took all her strength not to shout it out loud. Of course it wouldn't matter- you could scream Row Row Row Your Boat in his ear while doing the Chicken Dance and he still wouldn't notice. That's probably the only reason they could even get away with the rest of their conversation. Not to say that the woman didn't hear- she obviously knew what they were talking about by the glares she sent them- but she couldn't do anything about it.
"I take it you get it know?"
"I don't blame him," a third party, Athrun's friend Rusty, cut in. "That Ramius really has a nice rack. Of course he wants to score with her! Besides, she's the inspector of the teacher's isn't she- maybe it'll get him some extra points. You know, do a more thorough check- get to see another side of him… Hey! Watch it!" He swore as he dodged Cagalli's palm. "Temper temper now."
"You ought to get anger management. I have a number if you'd like." Put in Rusty's best friend, Miguel. Both sat in front of Athrun and Cagalli.
"WHY YOU-!" Cagalli seethed as quietly as she could.
Yzak and Athrun rocked back and forth in silent laughter, but Lacus sat there with a frown on her face. She didn't hold much with movies and TV shows that had the type of slang Rusty and Miguel were using. Naturally, she could make a pretty close guess- but the exact meanings were unclear.
"Rack? Like bike rack?" she smiled, unsure. She didn't want to think anything perverted. The others exchanged glances, each sharing the same message; how were they going to explain this. Rusty and Miguel decided to be evasive as ever.
"Bazookas."
"Guns."
"Big Guns."
"Certaintly not pistols, if you know what I'm saying."
"Ay."
"But what does guns have to do with racks? You earlier said "She had a nice rack." I don't imagine guns to be very nice."
"You wouldn't."
"You're a girl."
"And girl's don't like guns."
"Especially bazookas."
"Course, there's always the odd one out."
"But they all still love the fighting."
"Some even join the military."
"Yeah, but most girls like it with a sniper rifle instead."
"But not Bazookas."
"Ay."
Lacus did not understand the double meaning behind their words. "I think that is very sexist of you. Lots of girls like big guns. Cagalli, Kira Yamato was talking about you once- you were friends in grade school?" she paused to see if this was the right girl, and continued when the other nodded. "He said you liked fighting, and guns. Didn't you want to be president so you could be in charge of the military?" she smiled innocently, as if to prove her point to the boys.
Cagalli died. Athrun died. Yzak died. Rusty and Miguel died… laughing.
"Oh, so you swing that way, eh?"
"Ah well, each to his… er, her own I say."
"Suddenly the reason of why you dress like a boy comes to light."
"Hoping the difference is completely eliminated in the dark, are you?"
POW. CRASH. SLAP. CRUNCH.
The next instant both boys were lying on the ground impaled with science books and clutching their… special spot.
"Nice work," congratulated Athrun as he surveyed Cagalli's handiwork. "That shut them up. I owe you one."
"Thanks. If you ever need me again don't hesitate to call." There was a pause as Cagalli ran what she just said through her mind. "Not like that. I mean- If you ever need me again drop by and- uh- I'll help- and…" she blushed lightly.
"Hey, don't worry," he smiled warmly at her and her face became more heated.
"Oh. Alright then…" she muttered before shoving her face into a book as she wrestled with one confusing thought: Why did I even care? (A/N: Because you're destined to be.)
Lunch…
"I love lunch. It's the one class where you're allowed to goof off."
"One class? With your track record I thought you thought all the classes were goofing off periods."
"'I thought you thought?' Did you know that that was a very confusing phrase?"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Go away Elthman."
"Yes ma'am." With that, the cheeky blonde left the table and strut off to the patch of grass where some of his friends were eating.
"Well, I think Milly and I made a real connection today." Dearka proclaimed proudly as he plopped down onto the grass.
"How so?" Nicol Amarfi asked.
"She didn't tell me to go away until a whole minute went by."
"She probably was tired of saying 'Shut up, Elthman,' and was using that time to think of a new way to say it," Yzak, his best friend, said wryly.
"Actually- she's said go away, Elthman 124 times, but that's counting different arrangement of those words and when she said go away, Dearka."
There was a stunned pause.
"You…count?"
"Yeah. Don't you count how many times your crush rejects you?"
"No. I don't have a crush." Yzak smirked matter-of-factly before biting into his PB&J. Dearka pretended to die of shock and horror.
"You don't have a crush?" he whimpered.
"Yes." Yzak sighed as Nicol, Rusty, and Miguel exchanged knowing glances. Operation: Get Yzak A Date had begun in their minds as Dearka began to rant.
"Let me rephrase that… YOU DON'T HAVE A CRUSH! YOU ARE MISSING A VITAL PART OF YOU'RE TEENAGE HOOD! ATHRUN ZALA! GET OVER HERE AND TELL YZAK HE NEEDS TO HAVE A CRUSH!" Dearka shrieked at his blue-haired friend. Athrun had been sitting with Cagalli, Kira, Sai, Kuzzey, and Lacus. It wasn't really sitting exactly, more like curling up in the fatal position. Cagalli had been trying to convince Kira to be Rusty so she could reenact what had happened during science class. He had been laughing hysterically until Cagalli suggested that he'd be Miguel.
"NO WAY AM I LISTENING TO HIM!" snapped Yzak. "I DO NOT NEED A CRUSH TO BE A TEENAGER!"
"YES YOU DO!" the other hollered back. "JUST LIKE YOU NEED TO REBEL! I BET YOU'RE MISSING THAT TOO!"
"I AM NOT! IN FACT- I REBELLED LAST NIGHT!"
"Sleeping without a nightlight doesn't qualify," Rusty said in a tone of mock seriousness.
"Same goes for no blankie," added Miguel.
"FOR YOUR INFORMATION! I DO NOT SLEEP WITH A NIGHTLIGHT OR A BLANKIE!"
"We're sorry, we forgot about Mr. Chumpykins." Rusty grinned.
How did they know…? Yzak frowned briefly before shouting, "I GOT AN EARRING!" The boys became deathly quiet.
"You what?"
"I got an earring! See!" Yzak tucked his hair behind his ears to reveal a diamond stud glistening brightly in his right ear. The other boys unconsciously inched away from him.
"Why did you get that earring?" whispered Nicol.
"Well, I thought, how can I rebel while still looking cool, yet subtle enough so that Mother won't notice? So I got an earring!" Yak grinned, looking extremely pleased with himself.
"…"
"What? What'd I do?"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"…ATHRUN ZALA! GET OVER HERE AND TELL YZAK HE NEEDS TO HAVE A CRUSH!"
"You know, I have half a mind to go over there so I don't have to endure this torture," Athrun's muffled voice broke through his fetal position.
"Oh fine. I won't hurt you. Just get up." Cagalli sighed and sat back down. "Honestly- you two are wimps."
"Better to be a wimp with a head then a brave fool without one," Kira responded cockily.
"Whatever. You're still wimps," she shot back.
"Yeah," Kuzzey echoed. "Wimps."
"I wouldn't talk Kuzzey, you wet your pants and you weren't even the one she was threatening." Sai chastised.
"… Shut up."
"You wet your pants! That is pathetic." A cold voice cut through the friendly, happy-go-lucky atmosphere.
"Oh, h-hi Fllay." Kira stammered, Meyrin's words from this morning rung clearly in his mind.
"Hello Kira!" she chirped sweetly. '…Lacus…" she nodded her head in a brief acknowledgement before continuing. "Kira, I heard about how you helped my sister when she was being bullied this morning," she smiled, pulling Meyrin, who had been standing half-hidden behind her into view.
"What? Oh, it was nothing really."
"Yeah," Kuzzey and Sai chorused, wanting to be credited too. Fllay's eyes switched towards their direction.
"Oh! You too Sai!" she added, before continuing once again. "I was wondering if maybe you could help her? You know, take her under her wind and protect her from Seiran? Be her Sempai." Kira's eyes grew wide.
"Well, uh, I guess, I mean-"
"Great!" Fllay took advantage of his pause and thrust Meyrin into the circle before dashing off.
Meyrin glanced at the shocked and upset faces in the circle.
"Hi?"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Shinn? Will you go to the park with Stellar after school?"
"Sure."
Afterschool at the Park…
Innocence- such a wonderful thing, to be naïve and young. Stellar was lucky. Had she known she probably wouldn't have asked the fateful question.
"Shinn?"
"Yes, Stellar?"
"What was Lunamaria talking about?"
"Huh?"
"What's virginity?"
Shinn's face became flaming red in a millisecond.
"Uh… I… What do you know the Birds and the Bees?"
"They fly?"
Silence.
"Shinn…? Why are you twitching?"
"It's nothing, nothing at all."
Stellar frowned a moment before her face brightened again. "So can Shinn tell Stellar about the Birds and the Bees? ... Shinn…?"
"You see Stellar.. Its like… turtles."
"Turtles?"
"Yeah." Shinn Asuka was being murdered. All because of some stupid little question. Who would've thought that giving "The Talk" was so hard?
"What'cha talking about?" Auel Neider appeared out of nowhere at looked at the duo sitting on the ground.
"Shinn is trying to teach Stellar about the Birds and the Bees. Only he's talking about turtles." Stellar chirped. Auel stared before nodding understandingly.
"Seventh grade science videos… of course you wouldn't understand- you weren't here. Let me try… You see there are these elephants… And the male elephants have this trunk-"
"So do female elephants!"
"…" Shinn.
Auel moaned. "Scratch that. I got nothing."
"Sup?" a voice came from behind the trio. It was Sting- The Sting. As he went by, on the street. The Sting was a gangster extraordinaire. The Sting was about to face a challenge tougher than any street fight.
"We're trying to explain the Birds and the Bees to her," Auel sighed.
"Oh that? That's easy! Just use the circus bear analogy." So the green-haired punk proceeded to teach virginity by telling of grizzlies in tutus riding unicycles.
Five minutes later…
"Stellar does not understand."
"Neither does Auel."
"Neither does Shinn."
Five minutes later…
"Stellar still does not understand."
"Neither does Auel."
"Neither does Shinn."
"Come on… the bear is sitting on the unicycle…" he stopped and looked at their blank faces. "Oh nevermind."
The four sat awkwardly until…
"Yo."
"Greetings."
"Salutations."
"Hello."
"Hey Dearka, hey Rusty, hey Miguel, hey Nicol," The four chorused, the three boys's voices sounding weary with anticipation.
"What are you doing?" Dearka asked, noticing at the forlorn faces of the guys.
"We're giving 'The Talk'." Sting moaned. The other three's faces were images of pure terror.
"The Talk?" Dearka's voice was breathless in fright.
"The Talk," came Shinn's blunt reply.
"Ugh."
"Don't need to tell us," snapped Auel.
"Here we'll help," Rusty smiled grimly and began to sit down, as did Miguel and Dearka. Nicol did as well, but he stayed silent
"Yeah, I mean it's not too hard, Rusty and I gave the talk to my little brother not too long ago," Miguel grinned as the others' eyes twitched.
"You're not telling Stellar," Shinn growled. "Your brother was paranoid for a month!" Miguel and Rusty protested, but the other three remained adamant.
"Fine," Rusty huffed, "but you guys will have a lot of trouble!"
"Whatever. Anyway, it's my turn," Dearka's face, usually so bright, became serious. "Fish!" he exclaimed, grinning like a mad genius.
"Fish?" Sting muttered incredulously. "That's lamer then circus bears."
"No it's not! It's brilliant!"
"Except for when you realize the tiny fact that some fish can change genders," Auel pointed out, causing Rusty and Miguel to exchange evil looks.
"What now?" Shinn sighed, seeing the two give each other that look was a bit irritating. He hadn't known the two boys prior to this incident, but he had a pretty good image of what they were like.
"We have a new word! Fish!" Miguel punched his fist in the air.
"What does it mean?" Sting groaned. The two boys merely smirked in reply.
"What. Does. It. Mean?" The oldest boy hissed his question again. The two were starting to get on his nerves.
"Nothing much."
"Sorta pathetic, actually."
"Pay no attention to us, old chap."
"Continue with helping Stellar, Fish Boy."
Miguel never should have added those last two words. Sting was about to give up and ignore them when he said it. In a flash, the green-haired boy had magically procured a knife and was holding it at his throat.
"You've got two seconds to tell me what it means."
"It means cross dresser!" blurted out Rusty in a panic.
(A/N: Please bow your heads in silence in memory of Rusty and Miguel.)
"I'm not counting those types." Dearka said dismissively, continuing on as if he didn't notice Rusty's head rolling about on the ground. "So anyway Stellar, there's this fish and this… lizard-"
Shinn snorted. "Lizard?" he mouthed to his sky blue friend. Auel rolled his eyes and shrugged.
Stellar had cut Dearka off. "Stellar likes fish and lizards!" Her words were met with an awkward silence. The smile on her face was slowly evaporating as she spotted the downhearted looks of each boy. "Did Stellar say something wrong?"
"Forget I ever said that." Dearka paused. "Now I have it. Earplugs and blankets!"
"Stellar uses earplugs so she doesn't have to listen to her subconscienceness! Her subconscious is a squirrel named Toshi."
"Nevermind then… Pigs and squirrels?" Dearka ventured.
"THOSE ARE SO CUTE!" she shrieked, knocking over all the others.
"Oww…" Dearka sat up and rubbed his ear. "Okay then… Comcast and AOL."
"What are those?"
"Good point. This is Japan. Umm… Sunflowers and trophies?"
"Trophies are shiny! Stellar likes them."
"Robots and drumsets?"
"Cool!"
"Pots and pans?"
"Stellar uses them in cooking class!"
"Bikes and pogo sticks?"
"Stellar has ridden those before!"
"What are you kids talking about?" a voice came from behind the anguished blonde. They all turned startled to see Mwu La Flaga, "Uncle" Gil and "Aunt" Talia, (the guidance counselors), and Raww Le Crueset, the principal. They all froze.
"Come on? Pogo sticks? What are you talking about?" Mwu grinned cheekily at their panicked faces. "Don't worry- we're not on duty." The guys stared up at their professors with wild eyes.
"We uh… we were just discussing umm… Methods of transportation! Yeah!" Shinn sputtered.
"With pots and pans?" Talia arched one eyebrow skeptically. "I don't think so."
"They were trying to teach Stellar about the Birds and the Bees!" Stellar gave the teachers a warm, sunshine filled grin, while the other's faces became ice.
"Ah… I'm going to walk away and pretend I never heard that…" Mwu began to edge away from the group before taking off running.
"For one I'm going to agree with that idiot," Raww muttered, before dashing away as well. Talia and Gilbert stayed put.
"You know Stellar, maybe we should tell you about that…" the woman began, unsure of anything else to say.
"Oh no! Shinn promised!" Stellar chirped. Gil gazed curiously at Shinn, who was hiding his ashen face in his hands. "But thank you for offering!"
"Alright…" Talia sighed, before grabbing Gilbert by his arm and dragging him away. He had been too determined to give the red-eyed boy a date for him to meet him in the office.
"I'm screwed," Shinn moaned once they had left. "Completely, utterly screwed."
"Yes, you are." Silver hair glinted in the sun, announcing the arrival of the one and only Yzak Joule. "Glad you finally figured it out, Asuka."
"Joule. You know Crueset was just here. Are you stalking him now?" Shinn growled.
"Good. You're learning how to talk."
"Oh shut up, man. This is tough." Dearka sighed.
"What is?"
"Coming up with different ways to do the Birds and the Bees talk for Stellar."
Yzak gave a trademark sneer. "Tch. It's simple. Cat and Mouse."
Stellar smiled once again. "Stellar likes those!"
Yzak stared. "Oh."
Dearka nodded solemnly. "Yeah."
"Not that it would matter anyway."
"Yeah- you prefer sniper rifles." A second voice chimed in.
"On second thought- you prolly could help her best."
"Rusty? Miguel? How'd you come back to life?" Auel asked.
"Magic, laddie, magic," Rusty winked.
"Sure…" Auel gulped.
"HEY!" Yzak burst, having recognized the sniper rifle comment from science class, "I DO NOT!"
"What about that earring then?" Miguel coated his voice with honey.
"What about it!"
"You mean you don't know?"
"What is it!"
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
"Shut up you two," the silver-haired boy growled in defeat.
"Yes, Commander Joule," Rusty mocked with a salute.
"What are you guys doing?" Kuzzey Buskirk and Sai Argyle seemingly vaporized from nowhere.
"Teaching Stellar about the Birds and the Bees," Shinn whimpered. Dearka looked as if he was on the verge of tears. "None of my examples worked! NOT EVEN THE FISH!"
Sai arched his eyebrow questioningly. Fish? "Ummm… there there?"
"We told you should've let us try, but did you listen?" Rusty's snide voice cut in through Auel's wailing.
"NOOOOO." Miguel finished.
"Shut up," Shinn hissed. "I won't let you corrupt her."
"Wait, you're trying to teach her about… it?" Sai gasped- finally seeming to grasp what was going on.
"Well, actually, she asked me about virginity first," Shinn supplied. "So yeah… I guess we are."
Kuzzey promptly wet his pants, and for once, so did Sai.
"Hey Kuzzey? Sai? You have a dark spot on the back of your pants. You didn't sit in a puddle again, did you?" a kind voice spoke from behind the pair. It was Kira, with Athrun right behind him..
"Teaching Stellar about the Birds and the Bees," Auel gasped out between his bawls.
"The horror the horror the horror the horror-" Miguel began to imitate Neider's possessed chant.
Kira blanched as Athrun's face turned paler than it already was. After regaining their dignity, the two best friends exchanged glances and nodded.
"This is more up your alley than mine, Kira," Athrun pointed out. It was true. Once, back in middle school, Cagalli made the mistake of asking them what their teacher taught them while the girls had to leave class. Kira was voted as the sacrifice.
Kira crept over to Stellar and patted her back comfortingly, "Listen Stellar. Dating is like fishing. Physical attractiveness is the bait and lure which snags somebody. Inner beauty is what pulls them in. Of course, physical attractiveness can also cause bigger problems."
"Stellar does not understand."
"Alright, let me put it this way. You have an ice cream cone-"
"Stellar likes ice cream cones! Except for pudding-flavored ones!" Her magenta eyes twinkled with pride, while the guy's eyes became clouded with confusion.
What. The. Hell. Pudding-flavored ice cream cones Unknowingly, they all thought in unison. Nicol and Sting shot Kira a look of reverence, and Yzak's azure eyes became shiny with joy.
"Ah… yes. You have a pudding-flavored ice cream cone… and say, two scoops of strawberry ice cream. Now when, uh, the ice cream man…" he trailed off, having noticed Stellar was bouncing in her seat.
"Stellar likes strawberry ice cream!"
"Oh. Chocolate then."
"Stellar likes that too!"
"Fine. Vanilla."
"Yummy!"
"Mint chocolate chip?"
"Wee!"
"Rocky road?"
"Yup."
"Cookies and Cream!"
"Uh huh!"
"… I know! Pudding-flavored!"
"Nah, Stellar likes that."
"Is there any type you don't like?" Kira pleaded. Stellar furrowed her brow in concentration for a minute then-
"Nope."
"GAH! That was the only way I learned it!" Kira shook his head and looked at his friends. "Sorry, I can't do anything."
"Can't do what?" Kira's eyes widened in surprise as he turned around to see a smirking Lunamaria Clyne. Her hands were on her hips, and the sunlight danced merrily in her eye, as if she was mocking them. A day a boy admitted her couldn't do something was a victory for all womankind, at least in her eyes.
"We're trying to tell Stellar about the Birds and the Bees," Shinn mumbled quietly, stumbling over his words.
"Sorry, didn't catch that. Come again?"
"We're-trying-to-teach-Stellar-about-the-Birds-and-the-Bees," Shinn practically shouted, getting the words out as fast as he could. It wasn't fast enough, the girl had understood. She narrowed her eyes and, without a word, snatched Stellar and dragged her away. For fifteen agonizing minute the boys paced, biting there nails, and, Yzak forbidding, pulled at their hair. Finally, Stellar came back.
Her eyes were peeled wide open, and she was twitching ever so slightly. Shinn walked towards her, anxious.
"Stellar? Are you oka-"
"DON'T COME NEAR ME! NONE OF YOU ARE COMING NEAR ME!" she shrieked, jumping back a foot. Shinn dashed back over to the others and hide behind Athrun. It was frightening when Stellar dropped her third-person speech.
Without warning the blonde girl sprinted away, and Lunamaria appeared where Stellar stood.
"You... are… cruel…" Rusty began slowly.
"Oh?"
"How can you strip her of her innocence like that!" His confidence returning.
"You scarred Miguel's brother, didn't you? Besides, I'm a girl." With that, she walked off, leaving a group of very confused boys behind her.
That was fun to write. Anyway, REVEIW! I need to know if I should have a LunamariaxRey paring, or keep light ShinnxLuna. YOUR VOTE COUNTS!