Chapter fifteen: Hanging out

Lemo and Andy walked down the corridor looking for Winston, (again).

"Really, Lemo! You should the little bugger a cage!" Andy moaned, holding a tapestry higher.

"I like to give him some space!" Lemo complained, looking behind a portrait.

"Lost something, ladies?"

Andy and Lemo spun around to see Malfoy - moustache free.

"Yea, the dead thing that was on your face..." Andy said quickly.

Malfoy ran his hand over his top lip,

"That cut deep, real deep..."

Lemo rolled her eyes,

"I'm sure it did..."

"It did!" Malfoy said pretending to look hurt, "I was going to tell you I found your vermin..."

"Winston!" Lemo said, her expression changing immediately, "What did you do to him!"
Nothing...Yet..." Malfoy said with a cruel smile.

"Hand over the weasel, Malfoy and no one gets hurt..." Andy said fiercely.

"No, Rose. That comment before really hurt my feelings...I think I'll treat the vermin to a nice barbeque! I've never tried cooked ferret before!"

"He's not a ferret, he a weasel," Lemo said through gritted teeth.

"Whatever...He has lots meat so who cares?"

Lemo burst into tears,

"Screw you asshole!"

Malfoy whipped out his wand, muttered a spell and suddenly Andy and Lemo were dangling by their ankles from the ceiling,

"Roberts, get a grip...I don't have the little shit. Have fun hanging upside down," Malfoy turned and walked off.

"He is the biggest dickhead I have ever met! And I've met a lot of dickheads in my life time!" Andy yelled wriggling about trying to move her feet.

Lemo heaved a sigh of relief,

"He doesn't have Winston..."

Andy let out an exasperated grunt,

"BUT WE'RE STILL HANGING UPSIDE DOWN!"

"Well, A feeling of deja vu..." Lemo said recalling being in the Weasel's kitchen in a very similar position.

"For you maybe, but remember I didn't get the pleasure of being dangled upside down!"

"Oh well..." Lemo grabbed a newspaper out of her pocket, unfolded it and began to read.

"Lemo, where the hell did you get that?"

"I took it off your beside table..."

"But, that's mine!"

"Andy, I know you nicked from Filtch, when he took you to his office this morning because you shaved Mrs. Norris..."

"I don't get it! I mean she'll grow it back!"

"Yes, your right. But you didn't need to paint her blue too though..."

"Blue is a great colour!"

"It doesn't matter what colour you painted-"

"Mrs. Norris is such a bitch though!"

"Yes, I know," Lemo agreed, "But it wasn't smart doing it when Filtch was just round the corner telling Drew to pull his pants up..."

"What was Drew doing with his pants down!"

"He was low riding, because he saw Filtch coming and knew it would distract him."

"Oh."

"Now shh, while I read..."

"The bloods rushing to my head!" Andy complained, rubbing her head, "Hey! It's Winston Lemo!"

"Where? Oh! There! Winton! Baby!" Lemo cried happily, "Come to Mummy!"

Winston stood below them, looking up at them with a scared expression.

"Winston! Get help!" said Lemo.

"Yea, that's really going to work..." Andy said sarcastically as Lemo ripped some of her paper and grabbed out a ball point pen, "Lemo, what the hell is that?"

"Muggle magic..." Lemo said as she began writing a message on the newspaper in the pen.

Andrew, Barry and Don sat with Nick trying to explain the potions homework. Unfortunately they all had their own ideas on how to do it and none of them were right.

"No! You put in the eye newt after it's simmered!"

"What the fuck? No! That'll make it blow up in his face! You have to wait until it turns purple, then you put in half the mandrake roots..."

"Uh...Guys, I'll ask Mione or Emo or Andy or Lemo when they come in..." Nick interrupted their arguing.

"Nick, it's under control, we'll be able to help you!" Andrew assured him, "Don, there isn't any mandrake in this potion!"

"There isn't? I thought we were making a revival potion?"

"Well, we're not."

"Hey, don't worry about it guys! I'll just go do my transfiguration homework..." Nick said turning to go up to the dorm.

"We can help you with that!" Andrew offered.

"We can, but you can't Andrew! We know how well you can do transfiguration..." Barry said laughing.

"Guys, isn't that Winston?" Nick said going up to Winston and grabbing the weasel, "There's a note...Barry! Andrew! Andy and Lemo are hanging upside down in the second corridor!"

"Two hundred and sixty-four bottles of butter beer on the wall! Two hundred and sixty-four! You take one down you pass it around, two hundred and sixty-three bottle of butter-" Lemo and Andy bellowed as Barry, Andrew, Don and Nick ran up to them.

"Guys! Winston found you! See Andy? I told you Winston could do it!"

"How long have you guys been here?" Barry asked, "You weren't in class last period..."

"We started singing our song from one million..." Andy said.

Andrew looked them up and down,

"Who did this to you?"

"Dracola..."

"Of course...Now, how do we get you down?"

"I know!" Nick said, surprising everyone, "My Nan used to always do this to me as a kid, so as soon as I got my spell book I looked up the counter-curse! Trezantê!"

Andy and Lemo dropped to the ground landing hard on the stone floor.

"Ow...My arse..."

"Thanks Nick!" Lemo said cheerfully, "Now, what did we have last period?"

"Potions."

"YES! We missed out on a crappy subject!" Lemo and Andy cried, as they began walking down the corridor. Together they turned the corner before the rest of them,

"HOLY SHIT!"

Barry, Andrew and Nick ran and ran around the corner Lemo and Andy had just turned.

"Oh my fucking god!" Barry gasped, looking at the bald, blue Mrs. Norris hanging from the light fitting.

"Is she..." Andrew asked in a hushed voice.

Andy tugged on Lemo's t-shirt,

"Uh...Guys, the dead cat is the least of our problems..."