AN- Another exciting chapter of Ultimate Battle. Hurrah. I would like to take another moment to plug my new website. www. Klyde. net. The ultimate in cool. We have also set up forums, so come sign up. Not to mention we are selling t shirts and stuff on the site, so be sure to browse around. So if you have any questions , (Yes, including those regarding any of my fanfiction), be sure to stop in and post. Anyhow, on with the show! Oh, and I don't own Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart- San Marcos, Texas- 8:05 AM

Gannon sighed as he entered the Wal-Mart. His mother had finally won. He had buckled down and got a job at a nearby Wal-Mart. Today was his first day as a cashier. He winced as his new boss handed him his blue smock.

"Now, Gannon. You represent the finest company in the world. Remember, the customer is always right. And you are always wrong."

Gannon nodded, trying to fit into his smock, which was several sizes too small. The warlock growled, using his magick to light the offending smock on fire. His new manager, Waluigi, sighed.

"Gannon, I understand at your last job, you were…" Waluigi paused, looking at Gannon's application. "A warlord and terror bringer. But things are different here at Wal-Mart. You can't just go around lighting things on fire."

Gannon's brow twisted in confusion. "What do you mean? We have to actually punch everything that angers us?"

Waluigi frowned. "No. We smile, and we give the customer what they want."

The warlock still didn't get it. "And what they want is a beating, right?"

Waluigi smacked Gannon on the side of the head. "No! They want good service, dependable prices, and a friendly shopping experience!"

"You sure they don't want just a little beating?"

"I'm positive. Now, here is your till. Go to register 10 and get started."

Gannon felt the urge to destroy the strange man in purple, but he fought it down. Mom will kill me if I get fired on my first day. I'm allergic to dying. So I guess I better just get this over with.

Grumbling, Gannon set up his register. With a snap of his fingers, the light above his head went on, signaling he was open for business.

Several minutes went by, and nothing happened. No customers, no problems. Gannon smiled to himself. I could get used to th..

"Hello! Are you deaf?"

Gannon pulled himself out of his thoughts. "Oh! How can I help you?"

Mario frowned. "I'm just here to pick up some beer." He slammed a twelve pack down on the counter.

Several minutes later, Gannon was once again staring off into space. I have a job, I have power, and I'll have money. Now, all I need is a woman.

"Hello? Are you open?"

Gannon snapped out of his daydream, finding himself face to face with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. Princess Zelda. Be cool, Gannon! Be cool! Make her laugh! He went to open a bag, but his hand got wrapped up in it, causing several minutes of agony. Zelda turned away, laughing slightly.

Not like that, you moron! Be witty!

Gannon coughed, throwing the bag behind him. "Well, those bags are just stupid. That's all." Real smooth, moron! Oh well… I'm gonna try to ask her on a date!

"Listen, do you…?"

"Hold on a second." Zelda cut him off, turning away. "Link, I'm over here! Hurry up!"

Gannon's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. Link walked up, a doofy look on his face. In his hand was a package of condoms. The hero of time put the condoms on the counter, turning red and laughing along with Zelda.

"Is that all?" Gannon asked in a monotone voice. Link and Zelda were completely ignoring him as they held each other's hand. "Ahem!" He cleared his throat. The two lovers spun around, remembering where they were.

Zelda smiled. "Oh, sorry. No, the condoms will be all."

Gannon frowned. "Ok. Four bucks."

Link handed over the money, the big grin still plastered across his face. Just let me get one good shot, I'll ruin that dork's smile good…

"Well, you folks have a good night…"

Zelda turned back toward Gannon and nodded. "Oh, we will." The two youths laughed out loud as they skipped off, still holding the other's hand.

Gannon shook his head, trying to clear his vision of red. "Son of a bitch… " he muttered.

"Excuse me?"

Gannon spun around. Ness was standing there, a small smile on his face. "How's the job going, Gannon?"

Gannon rolled his eyes. "Just great. Couldn't be happier."

Ness nodded. "Oh. Well, that's good…"

Why is Ness hesitating?

Ness smiled nervously as he put a six pack of beer on the counter. "I would like to um, buy this beer," he said as he tried to speak in a lower tone.

Gannon shook his head. "You have to be kidding me, Ness. You're like 10."

"Nuhuh! I'm like 26!"

"Sorry, shrimp. No ID, no beer."

Ness's face fell. "But Young Link said you were cool. It's only this once…"

Now Gannon was loosing his temper. "I said no!'

Ness frowned. "Okay, fine. I guess I'm too young to drink anyway."

The young boy turned around, handing the beers to Popo. "I told ya he wouldn't do it…"

Popo nodded, walking up to Gannon. "I'd like to buy this beer."

The warlock rolled his eyes. "And this beer is for you?"

Popo smiled. "Uh, yeah. All for me. No vodka tonight! Tonight I drink beer!" he said in a very unconvincing tone.

Gannon frowned. "No way, pal. You're just gonna give it to that damn kid."

Popo turned to Ness and shrugged. "Sorry, kid. Better luck next time."

Dejected, Popo and Ness left the Wal-Mart. Gannon shook his head. "Damn that Ness. This job really blows."

"Everything going alright, Gannon?" Waluigi walked up to him, a concerned look on his face. "How's the day been going?"

Gannon shrugged. "It's not that bad. A kid just tried to buy beer, but otherwise it's going okay."

Waluigi nodded. "Alright. Just remember, the customer is always right. Unless they are underage." With that, the manager walked off.

Gannon looked down the aisle, and sullen dread filled his heart. Kirby was walking towards his register, with a cart that was more like a mountain of food. The creampuff couldn't even see where he was going because the food blocked his view.

"Can I help you…" Gannon was cut off as Kirby's cart smashed into the side of his register, dumping food all over the poor Wal-Mart employee.

After several minutes spent digging Gannon out of the pile of food, the check out began.

Beep

Beep

Beep

Gannon's arm was ready to fall off as he reached the end of Kirby's order. He let out a hoarse sigh as he leaned down on the register.

"Alright, ya little puffball. The total is six hundred and eighty dollars, forty two cents."

Kirby smiled, reaching into a little bag. He pulled out a small stone, handing it to Gannon.

The warlock looked at the rock, and then back at Kirby's expectant expression. He let out a small groan.

"Kirby, we don't accept rocks."

Kirby looked at Gannon with sad puppy dog eyes. He was on the verge of crying.

The puffball suddenly smiled, realization dawning on his face. How stupid of him! He took the rock back, pulling out a black magic marker. There were a few moments of rushed scribbling, and then Kirby handed back the rock with a big grin. Gannon took the rock, examining it with forced cheerfulness.

"Oh boy. You wrote $680.42 on the rock. How intelligent."

Kirby nodded, going to push the cart away. Gannon stepped in front of him, blocking the way.

"I'm afraid I'll have to call my manager."

Kirby looked at Gannon in fear, tears beginning to stream from his face. Gannon rolled his eyes as he signaled Waluigi over.

"What's wrong, Gann…!" Waluigi saw Kirby crying, and turned back to Gannon.

"What did you do?" He pulled Gannon to the side. "Why is that customer crying?"

Gannon growled. "He isn't a customer! He's a dumb creampuff that's trying to pay for groceries with a rock!"

Waluigi turned back to Kirby. "I'm sorry about that inconvenience, sir." He took the rock and smiled. "Of course we accept rocks with numbers on them here. You have a wonderful day, sir."

Waluigi smiled and waved as Kirby happily pushed his cart outside. Once there, he looked around to make sure no one was looking. Once he was satisfied, he turned to the cart and sucked it into his mouth. There was a moment of strain, and with a bit of force, he managed to swallow the cart whole. What my doctor doesn't know won't hurt me…

Back in the Wal-Mart, Waluigi was lecturing Gannon. "What part of "The customer is always right" don't you get?"

Gannon hung his head.

"If word got out that we made a customer cry, how much business do you think we would lose? A lot more than six hundred dollars worth, I'll tell you that much!"

This is insane… Gannon thought. And this is the most wealthy company in the universe?

"Now you get back to your register, and I don't want to hear another word about crying customers!"

As Gannon slunked back to his register, he let out a small sigh. "This job is really more trouble than it's worth. If only I was allowed to just cock back and blast someone. That'd make me feel better."

The warlock let out a sigh as Young Link strolled up. "Hey Gannon."

"What do you want, kid?"

Young Link looked around in either direction. "Hey dude, hook me up with some smokes."

Gannon rolled his eyes. "Beat it."

Young Link gave him an angry look. "But I thought you were cool!"

"Well, I guess I'm not. I don't give cigarettes to little kids. "

Link's face bunched up, and he began to sniffle. "B….b….but…"

"WAHAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Waluigi ran over with the fire of death in his eyes. "Another crying customer, Gannon!"

Gannon leaned back, resigned to his fate. Termination was beginning to look pretty good.

Waluigi kneeled down in front of Link. "There there. What's wrong, little man?"

Link dried his eyes and looked pleadingly at Waluigi. "All I wanted was some cigarettes, and the mean man over there wouldn't let me buy them."

Waluigi shook his head. "For shame, Gannon. Denying this poor boy." He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and gave them to Link. "There ya go, little guy. You have a good day."

Link ran off with the cigarettes, his tears turning into a smile. "Yay!"

Waluigi turned back to Gannon. "Can you give me one good reason why you didn't give that customer cigarettes?"

Gannon frowned. "Yeah. He was like ten."

Waluigi rolled his eyes. "That's not…." Suddenly realization dawned on him.

"Oh crap."

Gannon smiled as Waluigi took off in a sprint after Link. "Little boy! Come back!"

Several hours later, Gannon was growing extremely bored. Once again he found himself doubting the wisdom of working at Wal-Mart. His patience was thin enough as it was, and all these irritating customers were no help.

"Hello? Are you open?"

Gannon spun around to see Daisy with a small cart of goods. Finally, something simple.

Daisy gave him a small smile. "How are you today?"

Gannon smiled back despite himself. "Oh, uh… I'm okay."

"That's good. Only have a few things for you."

Daisy put a package of cookies on the conveyor belt. As Gannon went to scan it, her eyes went wide.

"I have a coupon for that!"

Gannon nodded. "Oh. Ok."

Bread.

"Coupon!"

Eggs.

"Coupon!"

Brownie mix.

"I have a coupon for that!"

Baby formula….

"Baby formula?" Gannon gave Daisy a lopsided look. "You don't have a baby…."

Daisy nodded. "I know. But I do have a coupon."

Gannon slapped himself on the forehead.

"Hello, good sir!"

Gannon rolled his eyes as Captain Falcon walked up. His skin was still scratched up from his fight with Luigi. He had a package of bandaids in his hand and a sheepish grin on his face.

"How's it going? I got in a fight with this guy in green overalls. He smashed me pretty good."

Gannon nodded, not really listening. Falcon went on.

"Well, afterwards, I found myself rather thoughtful. You know, like, how could I let this green guy win, you know?"

Gannon rolled his eyes. "Are you gonna buy something?"

The racer gave him a hurt look. "Fine. I just thought you'd be interested."

"Well, I'm not. What are you buying?"

Captain Falcon slammed the package of bandaids down on the counter. Gannon swiped it through the scanner, and with a little beep, the price came up.

"That'll be three dollars and sixty two cents."

Falcon raised an eyebrow. "Three sixty two? Are you sure?"

Gannon rolled his eyes. "It says it right here on the screen. We don't just make up prices."

"Well, the sign under it said three sixty eight."

Gannon gave his customer a funny look. "Three sixty eight? But that's more than…"

"Did I ask you for a math lesson? I'm telling you that the bandaids are three sixty eight, and you charged me wrong!"

Gannon had to bite his lip to keep from clobbering Falcon. He slowly counted to ten, cursed the stupidity of others, and changed the price.

Falcon took his bag and frowned. "You had best get on top of this little problem, chief." He said as he walked off.

That's it! This damn job isn't worth it! I'm gonna…

Marth walked up to the counter, a piece of clothing in his hands. "Excuse me? I'd just like to buy this pink sweater…"

"Gahhhh!" Gannon leapt over the register, charged up a warlock punch, and smashed Marth into oblivion. He let out a deep sigh, completely satisfied.

Waluigi walked up with an air of panic. "What did you do! He was a customer!"

Gannon sighed. Not quite satisfied…

One warlock punch later found Waluigi bouncing around the local Wal-Mart, his head alight with purple flame. Gannon smiled. "Now I feel better." He ripped off his name bag, burned it with his magick, and left the store.

AN- So there it is! Marth had a long run, but he has been eliminated. We are now left with Mario, Gannon, and Luigi as the three finalists. Wait a minute. Three? How will that work? Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of the Ultimate Battle! (And go to the website.)