Thank you! Thank you! I'm finally allowed to update! was being mean to me (pout)!Well here is your warning that it might take a little bit for the next chapters cause I have no idea what I'm doing, I am now officially winging it! Yea! Round of applause! Special thanks to Tallulah for editing this and making it presentable! THANK YOU! I even made sure to use only one exclamation point!

Tallulah- thank you, it's nice to know someone loves me...glad you liked the last chapter and btw a creeper is the wheely thing that you use to slide under the car with, I asked someone so I could know what it was!

This chapter is dedicated to Tallulah

Standard disclaimers apply

Chapter 4

(Masago)

The first thing that I noticed upon regaining consciousness was the headache. It felst like my head had been chopped open with an ax and my brains were being scrambled about with a red-hot poker. Moaning loudly, I peeled open my eyes and three worried faces came into view; it took a moment for me to identify them as my brothers. Yuki was just still in his grease monkey clothes, but his usual condescending expression was gone. What had possessed me to do that? To so blatantly try and gain entrance to a guarded mind? I could have died.

"Thank God you're ok!" Raiden cried, hugging me hard causing my whole world to tilt and spin.

"Jesus Raiden! Let go of her! She's turning green!" Yuki pried him off of me and scowled at him as I fought to regain any scrap of composure, but everything was still twirling around me. I knew I was going to barf a split second before I lurched forward and spewed sludge all over Yuki. "Damn it! I help you and you freaking up chuck on me!" My response was a choked groan as I fell off my mattress into the puddle of puke on the floor.

"What happened?" Takeo asked, and I tried to find him in the room by using his voice as a locater but my brain was still screwed up so everything continued to dance about and I couldn't find him. "Sago?" He crouched down in front of me and I focused solely on his eyes to try and steady the world.

"Gawd…w'am I?" I slurred gripping his shoulder with one hand.

"You're in your apartment sitting in your own vomit," Takeo informed me wryly. Nodding slowly, I closed my eyes and leaned against him, fighting to right the damage I had wreaked on my brain. Kiriya's defense had been so strong that it had been like setting off a bomb inside my skull. Everything was gone, everything was dead.

What's wrong with her? Why is she so screwed up? Was it that punk at the shop? I'll kill him. Yuki's anger swamped me.

Why can't my family stay out of trouble? I hope Sago's ok, she really needs to be careful. She needs to get better quick, we need her help. Takeo's were next, mixing in worry and anxiety.

Damn it! Why did Sago have to get sick at the exact same time Uta goes on a hunger strike! Why can't we be normal! Raiden bombarded me and the intensity of all of their emotions made my stomach to churn as I fought to block them out.

Maybe I should just off myself? No one cares that I even exist. Damn bitch! Who does she think she is? No one leaves me! I can't be late! My kids will kill me! I can't believe that schmuck is cheating on me! MOMMA! Stop! Help! Oh God please help me! Send someone to aid me! I'm going to kill them all. Where is he? Why is he always late? Slice and dice, watch the blood flow. No more pain. AAAHHHH!

"MAKE IT STOP!" I screamed, scrambling to cover my ears even though I knew it wouldn't end the voices or visions. Tears poured down my cheeks; I couldn't stop screaming.

It was dark. There was nothing. They were all dead. It was my fault. If I'd only listened…if I'd only tried harder. It was so long ago…my family had lain dead at my feet while I had hidden to save myself. Why did I always survive?

"So you are Kaneda's grandchild." It was an old man with kind eyes, "I knew your grandfather and grandmother, they were wonderful people. Did they ever tell you about Akira or Yamagata? How about Tetsuo or Kaori?"

She's screaming. She's dying! There's nothing I can do! I'm killing her and I can't stop! HELP ME KANEDA! I can feel her pain! I don't want her to die! KAORI!

Beautiful children are running barefoot in a green field, laughing hard as their parents watch. I can't see them. They are happy, but at the same time sad. A cloud hangs over them. Their friends died, leaving them to take care of the two children. Eponine and Vincent, one named from a girl in a play that their mother used to love, the other named for a song she loved. Their father had been such a pushover.

It's Katashi, he's talking with Serenia at the bar, he's nervous because he has something he wants to give to her but he's not sure how.

"He killed Yamagata! He's dead!"

SOMEONE HELP ME!

"Sago! Oh God, Sago! Snap out of it!" I could feel them shaking me but I couldn't move, something was gripping me tightly, trapping me between visions and the real world. A sharp pain exploded across my face and suddenly I was back in my room staring up into Takeo's eyes.

"What the hell happened?" he demanded, all semblance of control over himself gone. What the hell is going on? She suddenly started screaming and then went silent. She was like that for about ten minutes, as stiff as a board!

"Nothing." I closed my eyes, trying to block the pain of my headache out but it was almost impossible to do. Spots of colored light danced behind my closed lids. My digestive fluids and lunch were seeping into my clothes and at that moment all I wanted to do was strip and then crawl back into bed.

THE HELL NOTHING HAPPENED! I reeled back with the force of the thought, losing my grip on him and falling back into another one of my sibs.

"How can we help you if we don't know what's wrong?" Raiden demanded and I was nearly blown over by the anger and hostility he was feeling towards me. He wanted to help and I was refusing to allow him and the others to. Everything was beginning to spin again so I closed my eyes.

"I was having visions of the past, present and future." I muttered, knowing how they felt about this subject. "I had direct trauma to my mind, so I'm vulnerable." I thought she was over this phase. Why now? I thought she had gotten over this? What next? Great, another thing to deal with. Anger boiled up within me, and I nearly exploded and gave them a piece of my mind - if I did my brain would probably do the same thing. I hated it when they did this. They had never believed that I was psychic and it bugged the shit out of me.

"Ok, are you going to be all right?" Takeo was patronizing me and I wanted to throttle him. Maybe if I humor her she'll let this go and we can figure out what is really wrong. Maybe she's having a relapse. I gritted my teeth as I reined myself in and practiced control.

"Yes, I'll be fine," I snapped at them, cradling my aching head in my hands.

"Um…good, then." Yuki patted me on the shoulder. Thank God she's not going to go off on one of her rants. I can't handle it right now.

"Uta's gone on another hunger strike and we need you to get her off of it! She's skinny enough as it is," Raiden informed me and I pulled myself up to my feet using Yuki as my support. Damn Sago's getting heavy. What the hell does she eat, Uta weighs less than her. I don't want my baby sis to die!

"Why? Cause she wants us to quit the gang?" I would have raised an eyebrow at this but I knew it would intensify the pain.

"Yup." Raiden took my elbow and helped me over to the shitty little washroom in the corner of the apartment. Why does she do this to us? Being in the gang is our livelihood; we can't just give it up! I hope Sago can talk to her almost immediately, but I don't want to push her. She seems on the edge… doesn't look too good.

"Once I'm cleaned up I'll go and talk to her." I shook him off and shut the door in his face. "Get me a new set of clothes."

"Yes Ma'am." Bossy little thing. I was getting sick of all the commentary about myself. I know I'm not perfect but hearing every single criticism of myself was rather hard.

Twenty minutes later I was fresh and clean, sitting next to Uta a box of her favorite chocolates in my lap. It was wide open so she would be able to see and smell them. On the table next to us I had piled a bunch of fatty foods she loved and a couple bottles of her favorite drink. She was trying to ignore the food while she talked to me but I kept alluding to food and eating and every now and then I'd pop a chip or piece of chocolate in my mouth.

"What happened to your face?" That was the first question she had asked as soon as I sat down. I bet she got it in a bike fight! How can I get them to stop! I've got to stay strong! Why did she have to bring food?

"I got it fighting for the last bag of chips in the store." I told her as I ate a few, crunching them loudly for her to hear.

"Well, you shouldn't fight." I want some chips! No, vigilance! I must win! They have to quit.

"Yeah, well, I really wanted these chips and the only way to get them was to brawl with the testosterone pumped construction worker who wanted them as well." I thought the lie was pretty nice, cause if she knew half my face was bruised and swollen because of Raiden slapping me to bring me back she would flip.

"A construction worker? How awful! He could have really hurt you! You should be more careful!" Uta scolded me. Foooood. I'm so hungry. I want chocolate!

"Want a piece of chocolate?" I offered her the box. "They're absolutely delicious, aren't these your favorite?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid I must decline, I'm on a hunger strike," Uta coolly stated. CHOCOLATE!

"Why a hunger strike? Why not try something else?" I waved the box at her, tempting her, baiting her, waiting for her to latch on to the excuse.

"There is no other way." I could dismantle their bikes. I could steal the keys to the bikes. I could serve them bad food. I could…no, this is the best way. If I eat I'll prove to them that I'm not serious! I'm sooooo hungry! There is the possibility of starving them, which might work. But I told Raiden I wouldn't eat until he gave up the gang…I can't let them think me weak.

"Come one, you know you want some." I rattled a bag at her. God knows I want to but I can't give in. There are other possibilities. I think that those choice are the way to go because don't they always say in health that not eating can cause irreversible damage? I wouldn't want that. I should eat. I can eat!

"You're right Sago, I can take care of this problem differently, would you hand me that bag of chips?" Silently, I handed her the bag and watched her begin to stuff her face. It wasn't fair that she weighed less than me I was smaller than her. "Do you want anything?" She paused to offer me some of her goodies.

"Nah, I'm gonna head home." I stood up and gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the apartment. On my way out, Raiden picked me up and spun me around, thanking me from the bottom of his heart for getting her to stop. Giving him a wan smile, I left and was instantly assaulted by the thoughts every stinking person was thinking. Hurrying out of the building, I leaped on my bike and zoomed off to the one place where I knew there would be no one to bother me.

Haphazardly I swerved through traffic, tears of pain streaking down my cheeks from my headache that had never really gone away. Where I wanted to go was the site where it looked like a bomb had detonated a long time ago. My grandfather had told me once that he had been there when it had happened, but he had never told me what had happened. I seemed to be able to find peace whenever I went there, no matter what. It was like a safe zone that no one could penetrate. My secret hiding place.

Skidding into the middle of it, I parked and got off my bike. Everything was still the same from the last time. There had been a movement to clean it up and put apartments here, but the idea hadn't lasted long. It would have taken much too long. There was junk, trash and heaps of rubble everywhere. I did some research on my place once and found out that before it blew up it had been going to be a Olympic stadium. I was at a place where famous people would have been.

Scrambling up to the top of a heap of rubble I spotted a lone figure sitting in my usual spot. Anger filled me - this was my place and there was someone here. Staring at the person, I tried to figure out if I knew them but I couldn't really see them from my vantage point. Sighing, I moved closer and discovered it was an old man who was sitting there staring out into space.

It was the man from my vision. The one who had known my grandpa.

R&R...cause you know you love me! I'm soooo adorable! (Now I just need to learn how to punctuate...damn...)