Chapter twenty-two: Follow the Fucking Spiders

None of them actually working, Barry, Lemo, Andrew, Andy, Emo, Nick and Don sat in last period Charms talking about the Chamber of Smells and the attacks,

"Drew and I got the book last night..." Barry said in a hushed voice.

"Book? What book?" Lemo asked trying to ruffle Barry's hair with her elbow.

"The book, the one that has the Polyscotch Potion in...The one that can get us to talk to Malfoy?" Andrew explained.

"Oh! That book..." Lemo nodded, understanding.

Everyone was still in a bad mood, Quidditch had been cancelled because of the attacks. Every team had lost at least one member. Seamus Finnegan got petrified near the swinging double doors to one of the corridors, Cescille Purarararara got petrified with her make up mirror in her hand and of course Louie. What wasn't surprising was that no Slytherins had been petrified,

"It's got to be Malfoy..." Andy said simply. There were murmors of agreement.

"Children?" Professor Flitwick squeaked from beside Andrew, causing all of them to jump and wave their wands about as though they were working, "I have some unfortunate news for you. Miss. Ranger has been petrified. She has been taken up to the hospital wing and been put with all the other victims. Also she had this paper in her hand, so keep it in safe incase it's important..." Flitwick stood on tiptoes to place the paper on the table in the middle of the stunned silence, he then turned back and walked back to his desk shaking his head.

"Oh no...Poor Mione!" Don cried.

"These attacks are just getting way out of hand!" Emo said sounding fustrated.

"AND the heir keeps leaving pointless fucking messages!" Andrew added, "Have you guys seen the latest one?" They shook their heads, "It says: 'I like toast' I mean why the fuck do we-" Lemo and Andy began craking up.

"Yea! Go toast!" Lemo cried.

"Guys..." Barry said interrupting Lemo and Andy as they began to sing an odd song about toast, "You might want to read this..."

Everyone turned to read the Mione's paper,

"Follow the spiders"

Advised by Hagrid - Groundkeeper

Andrew was one of the first to finish reading,

"Well guys guess we have a job to night..." Everyone's eyes caught sight of a long line of spiders heading towards the Charms window.

After a lot of consistant nagging, Andrew and Barry relised they couldn't convince the rest of the group to go with them to follow the spiders. Before they left under Barry's invisibility cloak, Don shakily gave them a can of fly spray.

"Uh...Thanks Don..." Andrew had said, giving the fly spray to Barry, "Quick, lets leave before they give us a fly swat..."

Now they were in the Forbidden Forest, still following a family of spiders in silence.

"So, you and Andy are cool again?" Barry asked, just making sure as Andrew kept his eyes on the ground in front of him.

"Yep."

Damn Andrew and his lack of words! Barry though angrily, he couldn't stand the silence that was usually filled in with Andy's and Lemo's crappy singing.

"So, you staying at Hogwarts for Christmas?"

Andrew grunted in reply,

"I dunno. My folks want me back now...Am's parents went to have a coffee with them and told them all about the Chamber of Smells and Mum just totally paniced - you know with me being muggle-born and everything..."

Barry's blood froze, of course...Andrew was a muggle-born, he could be petrified tomorrow for all Barry knew. And Emo was half blood...Andy, Lemo and Don were pure bloods, but would even that protect them? What if the heir decided they didn't really care who they petrified? Then they were all screwed...

"HOLY SHIT!"

Andrew's suddenly high pitched voice broke the silence of the forbidden forest, Barry looked up and saw why, he looked up to see the ugliest, mosthugeous (yes, I know that is not a word...)spider,

"Fuck on toast..."

Lemo looked at her watch for the hundredth time in five minutes. Barry and Andrew had been following the spiders for at least two hours now and Andy and her had stayed up waiting for them. Andy was also well aware of the time, in front of her she had charmed a huge flashing thing that said the time down to the second. Andy transfixed and chewing her nails as she watched the minutes digits slowly changing.

"You know...They're probably just fine...I mean their only insects. Where the hell could they lead them?" Emo asked trying to lighten her friends spirits. Andy finally seemed to crack,

"That's it! I'm following those fucking little shits too! I have to see if Barry and Drew are okay! Anyone coming!"

Lemo raised a shaking hand,

"I'll come..."

"If we're quick we can avoided Snape on his way to his nightly bathroom trip," Andy said standing up and rushing towards the portrait hole in search for her little six legged "friends", with Lemo in tow.

Spider silk bound Andrew and Barry tightly as they hung there,

"That's the second time this year!" Andrew said, laughing.

"Why the fuck are you laughing, you mad man!" Barry cried.

Andrew laughed some more,

"Sorry but it is kind of funny. And we have to die happy mate."

Barry couldn't believe what he was hearing,

"Drew, I say this in the most caring way...YOU'VE FUCKING LOST IT!"

"Indeed I have. Read any good books lately?"

"Oh dear lord..."

"I know! We should play truth or dare!"

"And how are we going to do dares?"

"We'll play truth!"

"Andrew, I don't want to be spending the last hours of my life playing 'Truth'" Barry said, as more huge spiders gathered around below them.

"I spy?"

"No."

"Chicken?"

"No."

"Gay chicken?"

"Hell no."

Andrew moaned in annoyance,

"Barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry! I'm bored!"

Barry ignored him,

"What do you think their doing down there?"

Before Andrew could reply a booming voice echoed through the forest,

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY DEN!"

"Uh...Barry and Andrew...We don't know..." Andrew said timidly as Barry lost his voice.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DO NOT KNOW!"

"We were told by a friend to follow the spiders..."

"WHO IS YOUR FRIEND!"

"Barry, I just told you that."

"NO! WHO TOLD YOU TO COME HERE!"

"Hagrid."

"HAGRID! YOUR A FRIEND OF HAGRIDS!"

"Yep."

"HOW IS HAGRID!"

"He's good...Apart from the fact he's been taken away by the ministry, because they think he opened the Chamber of Smells..."

"HAGRID DID NO SUCH THING! HE DIDN'T OPEN THE CHAMBER LAST TIME NOR DID HE RELEASE THE MONSTER THAT IS WITHIN!"

"You know about the Chamber of Smells?" Barry asked finding his voice.

"YES OF COURSE I DO! THEY ASSUMED I WAS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THAT GIRL! BUT THAT WASN'T ME!"

"What was it then?" Barry asked as Andrew kicked him,

"Don't push it mate..." he mumbled.

"WE SPIDERS FEAR IT! WE DO NOT SPEAK IT'S NAME!"

"Could, you just this once?" Andrew kicked Barry again.

"EAT THEM!"

"Great going dickhead..."

The pair caught sight of a way too big spider disappear once more into the shadows as smaller, but still huge spiders began climbing towards them. Then just as Barry and Andrew were saying as many swear words as they knew, (including other languages...) there came a loud roar. A roar that sound suspiously like the sound of a car...

A/N This next paragraph was written by Lemo, she wrote in English several months ago! lol

"Ow! Watch where you're pointing that thing!"

"But there are giant spiders in this forest! They could EAT us!"

"So? That doesn't mean you should curse everything that mo-"

"STUPEFY!"

"...That was a leaf."

Andy scowled at Lemo. "Oh shut up you."

Lemo stuck her tongue out at her friend. The glared at each other for a few minutes before their staring contest was cut short by a loud sneeze from Lemo.

"Well it wasn't my idea to come into the Forbidden-Fucking-Forest!" Andy snapped.

"Well I didn't tell our idiot boyfriends to follow the fucking spiders!"

"Yeah! It's all Haggis's fault!"

"That's Hagrid."

"Oh whatever, who cares anyway?"

CRACK!

Lemo whirled around. "What was that!"

"Now who's paranoid?" Andy muttered with a roll of her eyes.

"No seriously I heard some- EEEP!"
Lemo let out an uncharacteristic squeal and pointed into the trees.

Andy looked in the direction Lemo was pointing in and let off a similar squeal.

"Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God." she muttered backing into a tree.

Lemo was chanting a similar mantra. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

The two girls' stared wide-eyes at the sea of spiders, varying from chicken sized to the size of small elephants, swarming towards them.

"I knew something like this was going to happen!" Andy screamed, momentarily forgetting her wand and scrambling up the tree.

"You did? Why didn't you warn me!" Lemo shouted as she followed her friend.

Andy and Lemo climbed to the top of the tree and looked down at the spiders. They immediately wished they hadn't when they saw many of the smaller spiders already climbing up the trunk.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck." Lemo started her chant again,

"We're gonna die! We're dead I tell you! Dea- "Andy's ramblings were cut short by a loud honking voice.

HONK! HONK!

Lemo frowned. "Geese...?"

Andy looked into the distance and her eyes widened. "Is that a-"

"FLYING CAR!" Lemo interrupted.

(Indeed, there was a small blue car flying straight towards them.)

"Isn't that Don's dad's ford?" Andy thought aloud.

"And isn't that your boyfriend leaning out the door?" Lemo said joining Andy in her thinking.

They turned to each other for a second before looking back at the car.

"ANDREW! GET OVER HERE AND SAVE OUT ASSES!" Andy screamed.

"Oh god, we're going to be rescued in a FORD! I'd rather let the spiders get me!"

"SHUT UP LEMO!"