I couldn't believe what he just said .At first; I stood there in shock, and then the hurt slowly begin to creep in. I felt like I had been slapped in the face. The way he had said those words-it had really stung me. The worst part of all? It was true. Every word. I wish I could say that they were lies, or exaggerations. Every terrible thing was the absolute truth.

The look on his face-that was something else altogether. He didn't even look angry. It seemed more like a twisted combination of hurt and disgust. I really felt like dirt when I saw him look at me like that. How could I make someone feel that awful? Especially the person I care about the most?

"Inuyasha, please, I-"

"I don't want to talk to you right now," he replied coolly, not even bothering to turn around. My heart sank. For the first time ever, I was praying for him to yell, or curse at me, anything would have been better than the silent treatment.

I was startled by Miroku's hand on my shoulder. I honestly had forgotten about everyone else who had been spectators to the ugly event.

"Give him some time, ok? I think he needs some space right now," he said quietly. I looked at all my friends. Kouga was still there too. There was an uncomfortable silence. I felt incredibly ashamed.

"Excuse me," I mumbled and took off. I didn't know where I was going. I just knew I had to get out of there.

'You bitch, Kagome' I thought to myself. 'That's what I am. I'm a complete bitch. I'm a terrible friend to Inuyasha, let alone-God! I don't deserve him at all…'

As twisting and deeply as I hurt, I didn't cry. I felt like crap, but I couldn't cry. I didn't deserve to cry. By now my head was pounding. 'I really screwed things up big time. He must hate me.' At that thought, my gut wrenched further. My head continued to pound as my body began to feel unbearably hot. A wave of panic swept over me, I felt like I was drowning. My body became shaky, then numb and the next thing I felt was the harsh thump of my back slamming into the ground.

Stunned, I slowly sat up. Nothing was broken, but I hurt like hell. I examined my right arm, whose sleeve had been torn by a sharp rock. It was bleeding quite a bit, which surprised me. I decided to tear the sleeve of at the rip, and tied it around the gash to soak up the blood. As I wiped some of the blood onto my skirt, I was reminded of Inuyasha's bloody nose after I had "sat" him. I couldn't help tearing up. Before I knew it I was sobbing. What if I had broken his nose?

"Kagome? What happened?" It was Kaede. She hurried as fast as her body would allow and sat next to me.

"I'm a total jerk! That's what happened!" She looked puzzled.

"I'm afraid I do not understand."

"Inuyasha and I had a fight. It's all my fault! And-and now Inuyasha hates me!" I erupted into another crying fit and Kaede put an arm around me.

"Now I'm sure it isn't as bad as it seems. Oh my-what happened to your arm?"

"It's nothing. Just my own stupid fault."

"Well come back with me and you can talk while I get you all patched up. Alright?" I nodded. Kaede was like a grandmother to me. When the world was falling beneath my feet, I would listen to her in a heartbeat. She also had a past with Inuyasha that went as far back as her own childhood. If anyone could help me understand him, it was Kaede.

"So just how did you manage to hurt yourself so much?" I tried to explain and she tried to understand.

"In my time, we call them anxiety attacks. It's not like a physical illness. It's caused by stress. I haven't had one in years…I used to get them all the time right after my father died," I told her.

"I had no idea, Kagome," she said, comforting me. I really wasn't trying to get sympathy. I honestly forget that I haven't told people. I tried to shrug it off.

"It's okay, really. It happened a long time ago," I said quickly before she asked anything more about him. It wasn't really okay, but I couldn't bear to drag up another painful memory at the time.

We reached her hut and she began to make tea. I told her what had happened, down to every terrible detail, and she listened intently, all the while bandaging my wounds.

"Kagome, Inuyasha is your first love-correct?" She looked me in the eye and I blushed. I had never openly discussed my feelings toward Inuyasha, but I had an obligation to be absolutely truthful with Kaede.

"Yes," I admitted quietly.

"Do you also have feelings for Kouga?"

"No! Not at all!"

"But he has feelings for you that you seem to encourage…"

"I know…I just never thought of it that way…"

"Inuyasha is a strong half-demon. That is easy to see. However, inside lays a sensitive boy who is easily hurt. I see him try to push away that hurt with anger. If you really do love him, you need to understand his feelings as well as your own."

"It's just that when Kouga gives me attention, it makes me want that same kind of attention from Inuyasha. I think, 'maybe if he gets jealous enough, he'll act the same way.' Instead, I guess it backfired. Big time." I took a sip of tea.

"You should know by now that nothing good arises from jealousy. Have you ever felt jealous yourself? Has it ever helped you to feel better?" Feeling like a dirtbag, I looked at my hands. The answer was obvious.

"I can't help it. I know they only talk, but I can't help feeling jealous of Kikyo. I know, it's terrible. Here he is trying to be a stand-up guy and keep his promise to her, all the while standing by me, and I have this jealousy inside of me. I feel like I'm always in her shadow. Like I can never be as powerful, beautiful, or as smart as Kikyo. It eats me up inside. I hate feeling like this. "

"My sister was his first love. Nothing will ever change that. Had things not gone as sour as they did, they might have ended up together." My stomach tightened. "However, things happened. Kikyo died. You came into his life. He fell in love with you. Not because you remind him of Kikyo. It's because he loves you. I've watched this whole time. I've seen his feelings for you develop before my very eyes. He truly cares for you. You must be able to see that. You have to be able to trust the love he has for you, even if he doesn't always express it." She was right.

"I really appreciate all this, Kaede." She smiled.

"May I ask you a personal question? It is your decision to answer."

"Sure"

"Has Inuyasha kissed you yet?" I was blushing again.

"Yes-a few times."

"Oh my!" she chuckled.

"It doesn't happen to often-we really don't get much alone time. You know how it is. He kissed me today, though. And I ruined that too..." I said wistfully.

"Go on." Kaede prompted me.

"I came back from my time, and he was asleep at the well. He had been waiting for me. We had had a fight about Kikyo a few days before and that's why I left. I tried to pretend nothing happened at first, but once he brought it up jealousy reared its ugly head and I snapped at him. Like always, he comforted me and we made up. He told me he cared about me and he just looked so happy at that moment. Then he kissed me. It wasn't like the other kisses we've had before. It was really, um, romantic. I've never seen that side of him before."

"And?"

"I freaked out and "sat" him!"

"You weren't enjoying it?"

"I was! I don't know why I "sat" him! What is wrong with me!" I buried my head in my hands. Kaede gave me a hug.

"There there, now. It's alright to be afraid sometimes. I've seen you be very brave in some of the most harrowing situations. You need to realize that you don't need to be afraid of your feelings. Embrace them. People make many mistakes the first time they fall in love. It's all a part of growing up. The important thing is to learn from those mistakes and grow from them."

"I think I understand." Kaede let out a sigh and picked up her cup of tea.

"I remember the first time I met Inuyasha face to face. I was very young and had wandered a little too far into the forest. Kikyo was worried and told Inuyasha. He tracked me down by scent. It was a good thing he came when he did. I had met up with a demon that probably would have killed me if it wasn't for Inuyasha saving the day. I had been so afraid, but here came this handsome young hanyou, rescuing me. I thanked him, still crying and he said: 'Thank gods you're okay! Please don't cry. I'm going to bring you right back home, Kaede.' Few men, especially ones with demon blood, would have been so kind. Inuyasha is a truly good and kind person." I smiled, hearing the story.

"I don't know if he'll forgive me this time. The way he looked at me…It was the same look…" I began to cry again.

"What is it dear? Tell me"

"Right before my father died, I had a fight with him. I was only seven, Souta was still a baby. Dad was supposed to go on a picnic with me one day, but Souta was sick, so he had to cancel. I must have been jealous of all the attention he was getting. I threw a fit and I told my Dad that I hated him. That was the only time I remember the two of us not getting along. He gave me this look, like he was so disappointed and annoyed with me. He actually looked hurt that I would be such a brat to him. He told me that he couldn't believe how I was acting. I stomped off to my room and stayed there the rest of the night. When I woke up, my mother told me he had died in an accident on his way to work. The last time he looked at me was the worst look I've ever been given, but I deserved it. And that was the same look Inuyasha gave me today."

"Kagome, surely you don't think your father didn't know that you loved him? You were just a child, dear."

"Kaede, I have to go now. I have to see Inuyasha," I said urgently. "I have some things that I need to say to him."

"Of course, dear. But first, I insist you take a bath and change into some clean clothes."

"Alright."

Kaede handed me a silky, peach-colored kimono, delicately embroidered with flowers.

"Kaede, this is so beautiful." I was in awe. "I can't wear this, this is too nice!"

"Nonsense. It is very warm out still, and this is the most comfortable thing I own. And it looks as though it's just your size. It was meant for Kikyo, but she never got a chance to wear it. It would be a shame for it to go to waste." I gave Kaede a hug.

"I'm honored. Thank you.

After my bath, I slipped on the kimono. It really was a perfect fit. I felt a small twinge of sadness when I thought about Kikyo, never having the chance to use it. She led a brief, but difficult life. The burden of protecting the Shikon Jewel was a heavy responsibility. Kaede was right; Kikyo was Inuyasha's first love and I just had to accept that. There's always going to be a place in his heart for her, but he also cares about me, and I can't throw away something I've been lucky enough to be a part of over petty jealousy. As it was still hot out, I tied up my hair in a loose bun, and headed out to find Inuyasha.

Shippo was the first one I spotted when I found where the others had camped.

"Kagome! Where did you get that kimono? Huh! Are you going to make supper? It's a good thing you're back-Inuyasha won't stop pouting up there," he said pointing to a large tree, laden with thick, sturdy branches. "Wanna play something?"

"Not now, Shippo." I walked past the little fox-demon, my eyes were transfixed on the tree branch, where Inuyasha sat, eyes closed. He wasn't asleep, that much I could tell. I saw his ears twitch with every step closer I came to him.

Miroku and Sango had been talking nearby, but their chatter stopped when I approached. I made eye contact with them and looked to Inuyasha, and they both regarded me with a nod.

I was now standing next to the bottom of the trunk. I took a deep breath, but before I could exhale, Inuyasha spoke, eyes still closed.

"Did you have fun with Kouga?" he asked bitterly. "Because I spent some time with Kikyo." Sango and Miroku gasped and waited for my reaction. I managed to stifle the sharp pain inside my heart. After all, Inuyasha was the one who was hurting. "So did you come here to give me a few more 'sits'? Haven't had enough? Well, go ahead. I don't give a shit what you do."

"Inuyasha, give her a break," pleaded Miroku.

"Oh, right! I'm such a bastard to poor little Kagome! It's a good thing she has so many men to protect her because she's too innocent and pure to ever do anything wrong!" His voiced dripped with sarcasm. "So Kagome, after Kouga was done with you, did you have a go with the whole wolf pack or what?"

"Inu-Inuyasha," I started. My voice was trembling. "I could never be with Kouga like that. Even if you were with Kikyo. Even if you hate me. Because you have been and will continue to be the only one that I've ever wanted to be with. I don't think you even know what you do to me. I'll admit it; I'm scared to death to show my real feelings. Because I'm so afraid that if you realized just how deeply in love with you I am it would scare you away for good. I love you, Inuyasha. I can't hold it in any more. You can hate me for the rest of your life, but that's not going to make any difference; I could never stop loving you. You have my heart, Inuyasha. There's no one else I could ever give it to. You've done so much for me, and I've been just awful to you. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you. Please give me another chance. I love you more than you could ever know, Inuyasha."