Achilles Heel

She had always hated this time of the year and now she hated it more since she seemed to have been caught up in the romance of it all. But could this in fact turn out to be the perfect Christmas? S/M

Chapter One: Goodbye To The Sky, I Know I Can't Fly But I Feel Love

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, Without A Trace or the FBI. I do however own my imagination, my Muse, my insanity, my fangirliness and my dreams.

A/N:- I wrote the beginning of this way back in the middle of August but now's a respectable time to post it since the countdown has well and truly begun. I don't know how long it's going to be. Not an epic but not a one-shot. I haven't forgotten about CBD, I write some more to it every time I get a chance and it shall be updated in the not so distant future.

It was hard to find a place to stand where she wasn't in danger of being cornered for a festive kiss under the many sprigs of mistletoe that someone in Violent Crimes had found amusing to hang everywhere but she thought she had just about managed to find a safe place. Nestled in between the obligatory Christmas tree and the buffet table, Samantha stood with a glass of cheap wine in one hand trying not to look so out of place. She hated this time of year and the annual office Christmas party was just about the lowlight of the entire working calendar as it embodied everything that she hated about the season. It was made even worse this year by the fact that the Bureau had decided on coughing up the extra money to hire out a bar just off of Times Square to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the formation of the NYC FBI office. Now, three days before Christmas, Samantha involuntarily found herself spending the evening, and probably most of the night, standing in the corner of a bar that now resembled something like Santa's Grotto. Every possible inch of wall and ceiling was covered in decorations: Snowflakes were sprayed on all the windows, tinsel draped the doors and the window frames, baubles and mistletoe hung from the ceiling, glitter covered the chairs and tables, fairy lights lighted the bar and they had even gone as far as to cover the floor with fake snow. The DJ was playing Christmas music softly in the background whilst Agents mingled instead of danced on the dance floor. Nearly everyone was getting into the Christmas spirit wearing festive ties/earrings/hats and the young women from Accounts who sat giggling together in one corner had gone into high school girl mode, wearing incredibly short skirts and tight blouses trimmed with a touch of tinsel. No one seemed to care that the Bureau would only pay for the first drink and the alcohol was flowing freely. A couple more hours and the drunken antics of the intoxicated Agents would really start.

Samantha sipped her wine and brushed a clump of fake snow from her blouse. She had arrived at work that morning determined to get through the day without succumbing to the pressure of wearing something festive but when Danny had tried to make her wear a Santa's hat for the umpteenth time, she had relented and tied a strand of tinsel round her pony tail.

There were a lot of reasons why she didn't like this time of the year. As a child, her Dad had always spent the festive season drunk in front of the TV whilst her mother slaved away trying to work out how they were going to make the turkey breast split four ways. Other children would arrive at school in the New Year showing off the Christmas presents they had received whilst Samantha was lucky if she even got a stocking. Then as she grew older and moved to New York, the holiday became even more meaningless. It was a time that everyone spent with their families but it had been years since she had been back home. Maybe she was just a Scrooge but Christmas just always left her feeling even more empty and alone than she already felt.

A loud burst of laughter erupted from the other side of the room where a group of about ten young male Agents sat around the bar drinking, Danny and Martin among them. She could spot Martin in the centre, talking animatedly whilst the others laughed along with him and she felt the corners of her mouth twitch into a small smile. Martin was being his usual popular self. He was friends with nearly all of the other young Agents in the building and they all liked him, not because he was the Deputy Director's Son, but because he had the most engaging personality. He was friendly and fun and could always tell a funny joke or an interesting story and he was so genuinely nice that he had all the guys eager to hang out with him and all the girls flocking to his side. It was true. Martin was so charming and undeniably handsome that he seemed to arouse the attention of every female under the age of forty in the room. Even now she could see the bunch of girls in the corner eyeing him up and whispering to each other whilst she could barely get through a week without a female Agent on another team asking her whether she knew if Martin was single.

And though she would rather be dead that admit it to anyone, she was, inexplicably, jealous.

Martin Fitzgerald had arrived on the team at a time when Samantha was just getting used to having a strictly professional relationship with Jack a few months after he had ended their affair. She had been blind to Martin's caring attentions instead choosing to console herself by getting involved in a dead end relationship with Eric Kellar again. But now, for the past few weeks she had found it harder and harder to concentrate on work when she was paired up with Martin and she bizarrely began to start to notice little things about him like when he hadn't had time to shave or the fact he would always be holding a half finished cup of coffee from Starbucks every morning when he came into work. Half the time she had no idea she was doing it until she would suddenly catch herself thinking about him outside of work and replaying conversations where he'd made her laugh in her head every night before she went to bed. She clearly remembered the moment when she realised she had feelings for her colleague: It was the night the five of them had gone out for a drink around Thanksgiving time and Martin and Danny had walked her home from the bar. She had hugged Danny with all the usual brotherly-sisterly banter and then there had been an awkward moment where she and Martin had just looked at each other until Martin had smiled his gorgeous smile and leant forward to embrace her and had whispered "Happy Thanksgiving." in her ear. It was then, in that split second when his arms had closed around her, that she realised that she never wanted him to let go of her. Samantha hadn't gotten any sleep that night. It was like her brain congealed every time she tried to think of something other than Martin. And the feeling scared her. It was totally new and different to anything she had ever felt before. Sure she had been attracted to other guys but it was usually just in a physical way, nothing deeper than lust or passion. Samantha had spent the first twenty-eight years of her life listening to other women talk about the goose bumps and the shivers down the spine thinking it was all nothing more than a myth until she realised that what she felt for Martin went way beyond just physical attraction. Every time he looked at her, she could feel the butterflies in her stomach go crazy and yet feel warm and empowered in his presence. Every time he would brush against her, she could feel a bolt of electricity run through her and then there were the little things he did that she never appreciated before that made her feel all gooey like when he brought her coffee or said something funny to make her smile. Every time she went home at night she would immediately miss him and for the first time in her life she was happy that she had to work late last week because it had meant she and Martin had spent two whole hours alone doing paperwork at the conference table.

At first how she felt made her feel silly and childish and she thought she would get over her stupid crush in a few days but now the whole thing terrified her. She never knew she could even feel like this and for the first time in her life Samantha Spade knew what it was like to not feel in control.

"For someone who's sworn never to get involved with someone from work again, you're staring at Martin mightily hard." Vivian said softly, coming up to her.

Samantha jumped at the interruption and turned to her colleague laughing nervously. "I don't know what you mean." She said, taking a sip of her wine to hide the colouring that came into her cheek.

"Oh come on Sam, it's like the rest of us don't exist anymore. You seem to be off in your own little world all the time when we talk to you but whenever he's around it's like he's the centre of your universe." Vivian said as they watched a young female Agent fall over after consuming too much of the free punch.

"That's not true." Samantha said defensively but when Vivian didn't say anything except smirk at her she turned to her worriedly. "Please tell me that isn't true."

Vivian laughed. "Don't worry I have to say you're quite sly about it. Men are so clueless about these things that I'm sure that even though they're FBI Agents, our three colleagues wouldn't have noticed anything."

Samantha rubbed her forehead with her free hand. "I don't know what's come over me. It's like all this stupid Christmas stuff has befuddled my brain."

"Well if it helps, I think Martin's a nice guy. You could do far worse." Vivian said, chewing on a carrot stick.

"What you mean is that I have done far worse." Samantha said with a small smile.

"That too." Vivian replied. "So can I take it from the constant staring and the fact you're so jittery around him that nothing's happened?"

"Of course nothing's happened. Do you think Martin's foolish enough to get involved with someone like me?" Samantha continued without giving Vivian a chance to reply. "Aargh, I don't know why I feel like this Viv. I don't want to feel like this but I just can't get him out of my head."

"Maybe you're in love with him." Vivian said mildly.

Samantha looked at her, eyebrows raised. "You know I don't believe in love."

Vivian shrugged. "I know."

Samantha watched as Danny started doling out Santa hats to the bunch of guys and hid a smile when Martin put his on inside out. "I'll get over it." She sighed.

"Really?" Vivian said doubtfully, not believing her.

Samantha shrugged. "I have to, don't I?"

"You could talk to him."

"And I could shoot myself in the head at the same time."

"You never know, he might feel the same way about you." Vivian said offhandedly, draining her glass and walking over to talk to some colleagues, leaving Samantha alone again.

Samantha put down her empty glass on the table and rubbed her hands together. She was never much of a sociable person. Nearly every male in the entire building had, at one point or another, tried to chat her up and at events like this she would regularly get winked or wolf-whistled at as soon as a drop of alcohol touched the lips of any guy hoping to get lucky. But she always ignored their leering and the way she could feel them mentally undressing her. The other female Agents hated her for the attention she got whilst the women in Accounting or reception tended to hate all the female Agents generally because they embodied everything they had aspired and hoped to be but couldn't because they had failed a physical.

To stop herself from staring at Martin, she turned her back on the group and focussed on the buffet table, munching on a couple of crisps, trying to ignore the urge to walk over to the group just so she could be near him.

At another outburst of laughter she turned back around and after hesitating for a second she decided that Danny's Christmas present made the perfect excuse for her to be able to talk to Martin legitimately.

Martin rounded off his story about the Christmas that nearly never was, and glanced around the room as his colleagues laughed and ordered another round. This was the most festively decorated bar he had ever been in and just seeing all the decorations brought a sloppy grin on his face. God he loved this time of the year. It made him feel like a little boy again, caught up in all the festive fun, counting down the hours until Christmas Day, hoping he'd find what he asked Santa for, wrapped under the Christmas tree.

He sighed, as his eyes came to rest on the one thing he really wanted this year and knew he didn't have a chance to get. She looked really miserable and had done all day. He knew she didn't like Christmas but he had no idea it was this bad. She had been keeping herself to herself since the start of the evening and had made no attempt to socialise or speak to any of the men who kept approaching her, offering to buy her drinks, which was odd, even for her. Martin had been about to head over when he had seen Vivian speaking to her and had decided to leave them to it. Vivian would know what to say to her better than he would fumbling over his words like a schoolboy. He saw her put down her glass on the table and glance over in his direction and he quickly averted his eyes and tuned back into Danny's tale.

As she approached a computer technician known as Drew, took off his hat and made a mock-bow. "Agent Spade, beautiful as always."

She hid a smile and rolled her eyes.

"Hey there Samantha. You still single?" called John from Forensics.

"And you're still an asshole." She replied with a smirk. The group of guys roared with appreciative laughter.

Danny pulled off his Santa's hat and pulled it on Samantha's head before she could stop him. She glared at him and walked up to Martin.

"Looks good." Martin grinned.

"Don't start." She said, shaking her head with a smile as she pulled the hat off and threw it back to Danny before turning back to Martin. "Can I have a word with you a minute?"

"Sure." Martin said, slipping off the bar stool and walking over to an uncrowded area near the window. As Samantha followed him, she could hear all his friends start to whisper not too quietly asking Danny whether there was anything going on between 'Fitzgerald' and 'Spade'. She rolled her eyes to herself and joined Martin.

"It's snowing heavily again." Martin said, pointing at the frosted window. "They say it's going to carry on snowing for the next few days."

"Looks like we're going to get that white Christmas then." Samantha sighed, thinking of the slush that would follow afterwards.

"You don't sound too happy about that." Martin commented with a smile. "Is it because it's snowing or because it's Christmas?"

Samantha looked at him. Damn he was perceptive. "Both I guess." She answered. "I just wanted to say that you know we were going to go half with Danny's present?" Martin nodded. "Well, I haven't had a chance to go and pick it up yet." She said. God that sounded lame. She half expected Martin to question why she had pulled him away from the group just to tell him that but he didn't.

"Oh, no problem." He said. "In fact I haven't even started on my Christmas shopping so I can pick it up tomorrow if you want." He suggested.

"If you don't mind?" Samantha said smiling apologetically.

"Course not. Man Danny's going to love us when he sees what we've got him." Martin said with a laugh, kicking the fake snow by his feet.

"I hope so. We're not spending $25 each on something he hates!" Samantha said, watching as Danny stood by the buffet table loading a paper plate with food. "Still, he deserves it. He's had a rough year."

"Haven't we all?" Martin said quietly, looking at Samantha pointedly.

She blushed slightly and looked away. He'd noticed and cared, was this guy too good to be true?

"Looks like Fitzgerald's a lucky guy." Drew said, interrupting them.

Samantha looked at him confused. Drew pointed upwards and she and Martin looked up to see what he was pointing at.

Crap.

A/N:- Thought that would be a good place to stop it. More fluff coming soon. I have essays and exams for the next two weeks so you may have to wait a bit for me to get the ideas out of my head and onto the computer.