Chapter Two: You Are My Highs And Lows From My Head To My Toes

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, Without A Trace or the FBI. I do however own my imagination, my Muse, my insanity, my fangirliness and my dreams.

A/N:- Essays, exams and then Christmas shopping. I know I should have finished this chapter sooner.

Thanks To: Lu78, Ariel3JLP, Riley Green, The NaggingCube, Babs6608, Cabooklover21, SusanWATfan, Pealee, Bdoney, Missusmesser, Jodie, WithoutATraceFreak, Alwayshope389, Sqully

Dedicated to: DeAnn because you're fantabulous.

Crap. They were standing right beneath a sprig of mistletoe. Samantha felt her heart pounding in her mouth and she automatically took a step back. "Oh, I ….." she said lamely. She knew she hadn't been able to hide the nervousness from her voice. Never had she wanted something more but she knew that her powers of resistance were slowing ebbing away with every minute she spent with him so she didn't think she would be able to resist turning an innocent kiss into something more. Martin watched her and gave her a smile. He looked so damn cute it hurt. Samantha could almost feel her pulse quicken.

"Don't worry, I'll let you off the hook." He said leaning forward reassuringly, giving Samantha a genuine stomach-wrenching heart-melting smile.

Funny how she managed to feel both disappointed and relieved in the same heart beat. Martin gave a soft laugh and touched her arm gently and before she could work out whether he didn't kiss her because a) He didn't see her like that, b) he didn't want to make a scene in front of all their work colleagues, c) he was afraid she would slap him senseless or d) – and she hoped it was d – he did see her like that but he was afraid that by giving her a platonic kiss it would reveal too much of his true feelings - the door of the bar burst open and a man walked in dressed in a Santa suit making significant grunting noises which could barely pass for the festive 'Ho ho ho.' Most of the agents looked at him and chuckled whilst those females who had clearly had too much alcohol stumbled up to him giggling.

Samantha shook her head absently. "It's so perverted." She mumbled absently.

"Only to those with a dirty mind." Martin said laughing, nudging her with his elbow.

She started, having forgotten he was still next to her and looked up into his grinning face. "Come on you can't tell me that you don't think it's perverted that the Bureau will pay to hire a dirty old man dressed up in a Santa's suit to provide the entertainment." She said, eyebrows raised.

"True." Martin agreed.

Samantha watched as the Santa moved his way around the room, handing out Christmas crackers as he went, jiggling his reindeer bells at the males and hugging and squeezing the females. "If he even tries to lay one finger on me I'm going to kick him so hard that his elves all the way back in Lapland will be able to hear him scream." She muttered.

Martin chuckled and laid a hand on her back. "Come on, let me buy you a drink." He said.

Samantha sense herself flush as his hand sent shivers all the way down her spine and up through the shoulder blades. He guided her back over to the bar and she thought he was leading her over to rejoin the guys but instead he moved over to the far side of the bar which was practically empty. She could feel her stomach doing flip flops and her level-headed self seemed to have disappeared right out of the window. She was vaguely aware of Martin drawing another stool up for her and that Wizzard's 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday.' was playing through the sound system as she struggled to get her head back in gear.

'He's your work colleague. He's so gorgeous. Nothing good can come out of it. He's such a nice guy. He's probably crap in bad anyway ……'

"I'll have a pint of Carling please and …." Martin turned to Samantha.

"A Martini." She said. "Thanks for this." She said as the barmaid brought over their drinks. "Anymore of that cheap wine the Bureau provided and I think I'll be sick."

Martin laughed and took a sip of his beer, looking at her contemplatively.

Samantha suddenly felt incredibly self conscious and looked at him nervously. "What?"

Martin shook his head. "Nothing." Then his serious face broke into a smile. "I guess I was just thinking how you looked positively terrified when Drew had pointed out the mistletoe."

Samantha froze. She had two options to confess her undying feelings for him or laugh and recite a rehearsed excuse. She chose the latter. "Sorry but I'm definitely not drunk enough to randomly start kissing my co-workers even if it is Christmas." She said laughing.

"Guess I'll just have to keep buying you drinks until you are then." Martin said amusedly.

Samantha almost choked on her drink and her head started spinning. She knew she was being stupid since Martin didn't mean anything by it – it was all innocent humour but it seemed like that even the smallest thing he said mattered to her nowadays.

Martin's grin faded and he looked at her concernedly. "What's the matter?" he asked, looking at her closely.

"I …." Samantha started but had no idea what she was going to say to finish off that sentence. She glanced down and then put on the calmest smile she could manage. "Nothing." She told him looking back up.

Martin held her gaze for a moment, making her feel decidedly nervous. Turns out she had good reason to be. Martin glanced over her shoulder to check that they weren't being listened to before he asked the question. The question she had managed to avoid answering for so long. "So, why do you hate Christmas so much?" Martin asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"Now there's a question." Samantha sighed. She ran her fingers over the rim of her glass, trying to decide how honest she should be with him. Everything about him encouraged honesty but she didn't want him to think she was a total loser.

Martin leant forward slightly. "We don't have to talk about it. Forget that I asked……"

"No." Samantha swallowed, looking at him. "It's okay. I just haven't had very good experiences of Christmas in the past and I don't really want to get caught in the build up and then have nothing at the end of it all."

"What makes you think you'll have nothing at the end?" Martin asked, his voice soft and caring.

Usually Samantha hated people pitying her but Martin wasn't patronising her, he was concerned and she was touched. She looked down into her drink. "Christmas is a great time for people who have family or for people who have family they can go home to. For everyone else, it just makes them feel even more alone."

"And you don't want to go home?"

"I closed that door a long time ago." Samantha sighed.

"So you'll be spending Christmas alone?" Martin asked worriedly.

"God no." Samantha exclaimed with a laugh that went on just a little bit too long. "I'm spending it at a friend's place." She stated but something in the look in his eye gave her the impression that he didn't quite believe her.

Thankfully, they were approached at that moment by the middle-aged Santa who obviously took note of Samantha's glaring and didn't attempt to touch her. Instead they had to sit through two of his appalling Christmas cracker jokes before he moved on.

"You know," Martin started, wondering if he should finish his question. "I'm going Christmas shopping tomorrow. I wondered if you'd want to join me?"

Samantha felt herself smile without realising it. "Yeah that'll be great. I need to pick up some things."

"Cool. Pick you up about ten-ish?" He suggested.

Samantha nodded and a smile formed on Martin's face as he held her gaze.

She felt like he was reading her and she seriously wished he wouldn't. Eventually he looked like he was about to say something when the group of guys came over to hassle him about doing something for New Year's. Samantha excused herself and headed outside for some fresh air.

She stood out on the balcony, watching the droves of people down below finish their late night Christmas shopping and wondered what had prompted Martin to ask her to join him shopping tomorrow. They never did anything together out of work and then all of a sudden he wanted to spend the day with her? Was he doing this because he pitied her or did he just want some help buying presents for his female relatives? She wasn't complaining, but she hoped it wasn't the former. She was dimly aware that the snow, which had ceased for a bit, was now coming down thick and fast and she shivered in her thin blouse. Coming out here without her jacket certainly wasn't one of her brightest ideas. Instead of going back in like the sensible thing to do would be, she tipped her head back and closed her eyes feeling the cold snow fall on her face. It was strangely therapeutic, allowing herself to lose herself in her thoughts so much that she didn't hear anyone come out and join her until he was right behind her.

"You know I've heard that if you stay like that long enough, you'll turn into a real life snowman." Martin said standing behind her and rested his hands on each of her arms.

Samantha started at his voice and the contact and twisted around, letting Martin's hands fall to his sides again. "Wow, you scared me." She said, laughing nervously.

Martin looked around as if he was expecting to see someone else out there. "What are you doing out here?" he asked curiously.

Samantha shrugged. "Just needed some fresh air."

"Half an hour's worth of fresh air!"

"Guess I lost track of time."

"God you must be freezing." Martin said, looking at her. And she was, he could tell. Her teeth were chattering which she was trying, unsuccessfully, to hide. He pulled off his suit jacket and draped it over her shoulders before she could argue.

"You don't have to …. I'm fine really …." She said, starting to protest but inwardly secretly touched at his gentlemanly gesture.

"If you're hiding out here to avoid the pervy Santa then I can inform you that he's left." Martin said grinning.

"Oh good!" Samantha said in mock relief.

Martin laughed and put his arm around her, guiding her back towards the door. "Come on, let's go in and defrost, I hear there's a Martini with your name on it at the bar ….."

……………………………

"Do you ever get to the point when you know you shouldn't have another drink if you want to wake up in one piece in the morning? Well, I'm at that point." Samantha said, leaning heavily against the bar.

"Really, already?" Martin grinned, draining his glass. "But you've only had five."

"Six when you count the champagne and all I've had to eat all day is a few crisps and dips." Samantha said.

"You sure you don't want another one?" Martin said, calling the bartender over. "I'll pay for it."

"Like you've been paying for all the other drinks this evening." Samantha said, giving into the need to sit down and pulling a bar stool over. "I already owe you so much."

"Hey, it's Christmas. My treat." Martin said, ordering another beer for himself. "Jack, want anything?" he asked, as their boss passed.

"Not for me thanks." He answered.

"What's this? Fitzgerald buying drinks?" Vivian smiled, approaching them.

"Speak now Viv or forever hold your peace." Martin said with a smile.

"A glass of house red." She ordered.

"And a lemonade for me." Danny added joining them.

"And you're standing your decision?" Martin asked, looking down at Samantha.

"Yes I am. I'm not going to embarrass myself in front of you guys." She laughed.

"Martin, you see that girl over there by the buffet table." Danny said, coming to stand next to Martin.

"Which one, there's like twenty." Martin said, looking over.

"It doesn't matter. I happen to know they're all totally hung up on you." Danny said, grinning.

Samantha felt her insides involuntarily tense up and she turned away, trying to tune into Jack and Vivian's conversation rather than Martin and Danny's but she couldn't help listening in.

"Do you even know them!" Martin laughed.

"They work downstairs, they're pretty and …. Well, you haven't had a date in like a year."

"Come on now, it hasn't been THAT long." Martin insisted.

"Whatever. I just don't know how you do it. You could have like, anyone in this room and you're sitting over here with your friends instead of going and talking to them."

"Honestly Danny, hasn't it occurred to you that I'm just not interested in having you set me up." Martin said, sipping his beer.

"I feel, it's my duty, as your friend, to make sure you're doing something with your lonely nights."

"Oh please!" Martin chuckled. "Why don't you leave me alone and go hassle Sam about her sex life."

Samantha turned. "Oh no, I see what you're doing Martin. Don't unload the budding matchmaker on me."

Danny grinned. Samantha would be an easier challenge than Martin since the alcohol had already brought her to a happy place. "So Sammy, how long has it been?"

"You're more delusional than I thought if you think I'm going to tell you that." Samantha said, glaring at her friend.

"Wow, that long huh?"

"Oh go to hell." Samantha mumbled.

"Or you could just go and talk to those female Agents yourself." Martin chipped in.

"Well maybe I will." Danny said, walking over to the buffet table confidently.

"Danny trying to set you up again eh?" Jack asked.

"Playing the matchmaker as always." Martin sighed.

"You know, that guy does have a point. How long have you been in New York and we haven't heard about one single date." Vivian said, glancing over at Samantha.

"The good thing about not sharing is that you'll have no idea when I am seeing someone and when I'm not." Martin said with a smile.

"Very clever." Vivian acknowledged before turning round to face Jack. "You know, you promised to spin me round the dance floor a few times so let's get to it." She ordered, leading him away.

Even through her tipsiness, Samantha didn't fail to see this as Vivian's way of giving her and Martin some more time alone together. She glanced over at Danny entertaining the ladies and laughed as Vivian hit Jack for treading on her feet. Everyone else seemed happily drunk.

"You know," Martin started, putting his arm around Samantha and looking over her shoulder. "I don't think Ms Spade is hating this evening as much as she thought."

Samantha smiled. "Maybe not. Or maybe I'm just good at pretending I'm having a good time."

"Oh no, I think I would know if you were lying."

Samantha looked up at him, startled by how close their faces were. "You sure about that."

"Positive." Martin grinned.

Samantha shrugged and took Martin's beer glass out of his hand and swirled the remaining liquid around before downing it.

"See, I knew you wanted another drink." Martin said, whispering in her ear.

Samantha shook her head, giggling and stood up, feeling Martin grab her arm in case she was a bit unsteady but she felt fine apart from a slight swaying sensation. "Okay then mister," she said, jabbing Martin in the chest. "What do I want to do now?"

"Dance." Martin said simply, reaching for her hand and dragging her over to where Jack and Vivian were.

"You obviously don't know me that well because this is definitely not what I want to do." Samantha said, but she couldn't help but laugh as Martin twirled her around to 'Rocking Around The Christmas Tree'. She was having fun and she could hardly believe it. And then there was the fact that Martin had practically spent the whole night by her side, ignoring every other female in the room. She knew he was just being her friend, trying to make sure she wasn't alone and miserable and she was just enjoying of having someone look out for her for a change. The song came to an end and she struggled to catch her breath through her laughter.

"You know, you're not as bad a dancer as you look!" she said to Martin.

"Still, better than being a worse dancer than you look." Martin grinned.

"That better not be aimed at me." Samantha said, pouting.

The DJ put on a slower song 'A Spaceman Came Travelling' and Samantha became all too aware that they were standing in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by couples pressed up against each other.

"I would never say you were a bad dancer." Martin said softly. Then he held his hand out to her, offering to dance this dance with her.

Samantha held his gaze for a minute. Just looking at him now, she imagined his arms around her, slowly moving down her back, their bodies touching ……….

"I really should be thinking about going home now if I'm going to be up in time to shop tomorrow." She said quietly with a smile.

Martin looked slightly disappointed but he managed to hide it well. "Yeah, me too. Share a cab?" he said, leading her towards their coats.

"Sure." She smiled, keeping her eyes on him, watching his every move. Doing what was right and what she wanted were two completely different things but she didn't want anything to happen between them which didn't happen when they were completely devoid of alcohol. Besides she knew Martin wasn't the kind of guy to sleep with his co-workers and she didn't want to make a fool of herself by even attempting to walk down that path.

They said goodbye to everyone and walked out together into the snowy night and straight into a waiting cab. As they headed down town, Samantha became agonisingly aware of how awkward the silence was between them after an evening of doing nothing but talking and laughing and she turned to him, only to find him staring at her. As they made eye contact, he gave her a soft smile and she was thankful that it was dark and he wouldn't be able to see the colour rise in her cheeks.

"Martin, I just want to say thanks for this evening." She said, breaking the silence. He looked at her questioningly. "I mean, making the party actually fun for me."

Martin smiled. "I don't think I did anything special, you did it all yourself."

Samantha laughed lightly and rested her head against the headrest heavily. They were nearing her apartment and she couldn't help but think that if she was with any other guy than Martin, she would ask whether he wanted to come in. But she wasn't with any other guy and she wanted more with him than just a drunken one night, even if that meant having to wait longer for it.

"I'll see you about 10 tomorrow then." Samantha said, as the cab pulled up outside her apartment block.

Martin nodded. "Goodnight Sam." He said, looking at her.

Samantha hesitated, holding his gaze for longer than necessary. She was finding it very hard to resist asking him in. Finally she opened the cab door and stepped out. "Night." She said quietly. She wondered whether anything would ever happen between them.

A/N:- Okay, I know you wanted them to kiss but .. but .. but … okay I don't have a good enough excuse. Blame it on my Muse. I'll go start on the next chapter.