Mario Tennis: MKA
Episode Seven– "Get Well Soon...?"
Toad is on a bus and is heading out to the hospital to visit the injured Toadette who bravely attempted to defend the MKA from the evil Yoshi goo-based clones, but during their face-off, was tricked and knocked out cold. Knowing that everyone is worried sick about the poor girl Toad sets out on an epic adventure full of action, suspense, romance, and fear. It is a journey like none other before it. Look out Link! A new warrior, Toad, is on the brink of being known for the best journey ever!
Bus Driver: Alright, we're here at the hospital. For god's sake, get off this bus and stop monologing about yourself!
Toad: Right.
Toad steps off the bus and enters the hospital. It then crosses his mind that Yoshi and Mario are supposed to be here as well. Determined to find them, he whipped out his Mushroom Messenger and messages them.
It wasn't long before Yoshi replied. He said that he was on the fourth floor. Toad put away his MM and stepped toward the elevator. He pressed the up arrow and waited patiently.
When the door opened, Toad saw that it was full of the elderly folk. They started exiting one-by-one... slowly...
About five minutes later, the fifth old person had gotten out of the jam. There were only fifteen more to go...
But Toad couldn't wait. He decided to take the stairs instead. While running up the spiraling staircase he received a message. It was his mom reminding him to take his constipation medicine. Ugh, she is so thick. He has been off that medicine for two years now! Frustrated, he ignored the message from his mentally looney mother and continued racing up the stairs.
Tired of monologing and running, Toad decided to skip this part and now he is sitting by Yoshi.
Toad: Heya Yoshi!
Yoshi: Yoshi:)
Toad: Where's Mario?
Yoshi: ...
Toad: He is with you, right?
Yoshi: Hummmmm... Bumm!
Toad: I don't understand. He went to wipe his bum? That's sick. What is even more sick is the fact that he came out of the bathroom to tell you he was wiping–
Yoshi: Yoshi yoshi– Wooooww!
Toad: ...
Yoshi: Dum, dum, dum... Ahhck! Ow-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa! Yoshiiiii!
Toad: He got hurt?
Yoshi: Yoshi:(
Toad: How? What happened!
Yoshi: grabs a tack and puts it on the floor. Pretends to step on it and cries in pain
Toad: Ouch!
Yoshi: Mm-hmm.
Toad: Then that must mean you haven't seen Toadette yet. Right?
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Toad: We should ask the nurse where she is.
The two walk up to a nearby nurse. She is middle-aged, and hating her life.
Nurse: What?
Toad: Excuse me old lady, could ya tell me where my friend Toadette is?
Nurse: Come here. she goes behind the desk, they stand in front Now what was her name again? blows out smoke from cigarette
Toad: Err, Toadette.
Nurse: typing hrrrm... cough cough Sorry kid.
Toad: What!
Yoshi: Whaaa!
Nurse: Der's no Turdette here.
Toad: No, no no her name is Toadette!
Nurse: typing Still nothin.
Toad: leans over counter What?
Nurse: Hey lil bugger! Piss off!
Toad: You idiot! You spelled Toedette! It has an A! Not an E! to self Or is that called a 'U'... no no, it's an E.
Nurse: typing Look, I still got nottin. Why don'tcha just go get yerself arrested or something so I never have ta put up wit cha again. cough hack choke
Toad: Are you retarded? You spelled it Toadatte this time! My god it isn't that hard of a name you know! Lemme do it!
Toad slips into the nurse's area from over the counter, spilling coffee into the keyboard causing it to go haywire.
Nurse: Omigod! Look what you did you little... what?
Toad and Yoshi are nowhere to be seen.
Nurse: You've got to be kidding me... blows out smoke
Head Nurse: Janice! What have you done!
Nurse: It ain't my fault ma'am! There was a weird-headed little kid and a yoshi here and they–
Head Nurse: Ha! Where would you find a weird-headed citizen in Mushroom Kingdom?
Nurse: Well... just about everywhere.
Head Nurse: That's it! You are fired!
Toad and Yoshi are running down a hallway.
Toad: It said she was in room 408 which should be... here!
They head inside in a rush and see a silver-haired doctor and young nurse who stop discussing when they spot Toad and Yoshi. The two are not of the Mushroom kind, and resemble Mario and Peach (humans)
Doctor: I'm going to need it by tomorrow, Cassandra.
Cass: Yes, Miss Raine.
Raine: I'll be on my way then... excuse me, boys. leaves
Cass: Can I help you?
Toad: I... came to see Toadette.
Cass: Oh, you are a friend? I'm sorry but she's... uhh... sleeping.
Toad walks over to the motionless Toadette and stares at her face.
Toad: I thought she just got knocked out... how could she still be out cold?
Cass: We are keeping a very close eye on her. It is unusual for her to remain in this state... at least thats what my book says.
Toad: Huh? turns to Cass
Cass: Oh. I am Cassandra, I am currently a med student here at the hospital. I don't know much, but I am doing my best to tend to Toadette.
Yoshi: Yoshi?
Cass: Eh-heh ummmm...
Toad: He says he doesn't like untrained, know-nothing, loser medical students taking care of Toadette and that we need someone more experienced. Yoshi looks confused and shakes his head
Cass: Don't worry, I am under the support of Doctor Sage. She is more than experienced.
Toad: Oh... o-okay. Do you know when she is going to wake up?
Cass: No, but I'll contact you as soon as we have any news regarding to Toadette.
Toad: Okay. Thanks miss. C'mon Yoshi, lets go.
The two exit the hospital, where Mario is waiting.
Mario: Toad, you A-hole! You weren't going to visit me!
Toad: Hey! Your foot is better:D
Mario: All they did was put a band-aid on it. PFFT.
Toad: Toadette is still out. I don't know what to do about it.
Mario: Sheesh, you got attached to her really fast...
They get on a bus and head back for MKA.
Toad: How do you mean?
Mario: You've got a crush don't you?
Toad: What? Eww, no! No!
Mario: Haha, I was kidding.
Toad: Yeah, well I think Peach has noticed how you've been looking at Daisy lately.
Mario: Peach and I aren't an item. I can look at anyone I want.
Toad: You know she likes you Mario. That's mean to do something that you know will hurt her.
Mario: Oo... You are creepy when you aren't your usual goofy self...
Toad: I'm just worried about Toadette. She isn't supposed to be knocked out for this long...
Mario: She'll be fine. She's a tough little gal... thinks back to when Toadette beat the crap out of Luigi Yeah she should be okay.
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Toad: Hey, thats her Mushroom Messenger! You took it?
Yoshi: Dum! Waaah!
Mario: You're a weird little twit too.
Yoshi: Humph! starts toying with Toadette's MM
Toad: Hey! What games does she have on that thing?
Mario: Y'know Peach doesn't like it when people use those things for playing games... whips out his own MM and plays pinball
Toad: Oh c'mon, she won't know. Now lets see... Yoshi, scroll through the menu!
Yoshi: Ohhhhh! Yoshi!
Toad: Aww, she doesn't have any games.
Mario: She just got this thing not to long ago so she probably doesn't even know how to get games on it.
Yoshi's own MM shakes, again making the little guy leap up with a loud "WOW"
Toad: A message? For yoshi?
"Hey Yoshi, it's Chef. I need some help with groceries. Can you go pick up some eggs and cheese and give them to me at my house? I already checked with Peach and she said it was okay once you got out of the hospital. Thanks.
Chef
PS: How is Toadette? Wish her well for me!"
Yoshi: Giddy-giddy-gahooooooooo! 3
Toad: Aww man, you get to do something outside the academy again...?
Mario: Don't sweat it Toad! As long as we don't return we won't have to stay.
Toad: Oh... but... what about the others? They are busy rebuilding and–
Mario: Just do what I always do! Don't think about it.
Toad: Okay. Where are we going Mario?
Mario: Hmmm... you hungry Yoshi?
Yoshi: Whoooaaaaa!
Mario: Great, me too! Let's go to Hooters!
Toad: Uhm, am I... old enough to...
Mario: See well endorsed women in tight clothing? Of course!
Busdriver: Y'know Mario, you're a lot different in person. ⌐⌐
The bus stops and the three get off and start walking to Hooters.
Toad: Mario, I'm still a little nervous about this.
Mario: About what?
Toad: Hooters! Do they really have pretty girls? Do I look okay? Do you think they'll talk to me? What if one of them asks about what I want to drink? If I say milk will they slap me? OO
Mario: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I would love to see that!
Yoshi: Humph.
Mario: What do you mean I am being disrespectful towards the female readers? What are you talking about.
Yoshi: ...
Toad: Don't worry Yoshi, I won't say milk. I'll say... lemonade... no, thats bad too.
Mario: If it's that big of a deal just say water...
Toad: But what if the waitress is pregnant and on the verge of having a baby and she handed me a glass of water, but she accidentally dropped it on the floor and I would freak and say "The water broke!" and then she'd be rushed to the hospital and then... then... OO
Mario: GROSS! I'd demand a refund!
Toad: I think I worry too much... Okay, here we are.
Mario: Wow we walk fast.
Toad: No, we were on Yoshi the whole time.
Mario: Oh?
Toad: Yeah, I didn't know it either.
The three enter the restaurant and are greeted by a blonde who was, in Mario's words, "well-endorsed"... she happily seats them and hands the menu... Toad can't help but stare.
Waitress: We have some specials today so be sure to check those out! Now what can I get you to drink?
Toad: Hubba... uh... huh...
Waitress: Well hey there cutie! You know what you want?
Toad: OO... I, um, eh-heh... no... not... really... redness
Waitress: Awww he's so cute! What's his name?
Mario: Toad.
Waitress: I'm so sorry...
Toad: Oo?
Waitress: Eh-heh, anyway! What do you want?
Mario: Pepsi.
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Mario: Yoshi, she can't understand you.
Yoshi: ... Humph. points at Mario
Waitress: Two pepsi drinks, alright. And what about you?
Toad: points at Mario
Waitress: Alright! I'll be right back with your drinks! ;)
Toad: O-o-okay.
She walks away with a slight bounce in each step...
Mario: Man, she looks like she's only 18. Maybe you should ask her out sometime!
Toad: What! No!
Mario: Why not? She thinks you are cute!
Toad: But... but...
Mario: You're 18 so its okay!... Wait, how the hell are you 18?
Toad: I dunno. "He" just made it that way.
Mario: Thank god I am still the same age. Hahaha.
Toad: Mario, stop breaking the fourth wall. We're only allowed to do that in the "special" episodes.
Mario: Okay.
Toad: But seriously! There is no way I could do that... She's pretty. And she is a human like you. She'll never like me.
Mario: Pfft, the only difference between you and I is that thing on your head. And the fact that most mushrooms are smaller than humans... so go ahead!
Toad: I dunno...
Mario: You're new here aren't you?
Waitress: Omigod how did you know!
Mario: Because you are happy.
Toad: I like happiness.
Awkard moment.
Back at the MKA, Peach is outside with Luigi and the workers. Daisy had joined them as well.
Peach: Where is that stupid man! I sent Toad to go get him and they aren't back yet!
Daisy: This is so weird. Where could they all be? Maybe the bus isn't running today?
Peach: What a stressful situation.
Daisy: Stress? Then try this thing. pulls 'stress remover' out of purse
Peach: What's that thing?
Daisy: Its called a stress remover. You just squeeze the little guy on here and it is supposed to get rid of your stress.
Peach: Its just a blob of rubber shaped as a face on a little black podium.
Daisy: Oh, hold on. pulls out a miniature Mario hat and sets it on the stress remover
Peach: OH MY GOD YOU LITTLE TURD! squeezes the crap out of the toy and bashes it on the sidewalk
Daisy: See? It's working!
Peach: HAAAAAAA! throwing punches at the toy
Luigi: Hey, would you mind ridding your stress elsewhere?
Daisy: Ugh, you are such a prick. Alright. grabs toy
Peach: HEY! I'M NOT DONE KILLING HIM YET!
Daisy: You want it girl? waves in air
Peach: BARK BARK BARK!
Daisy: Go get it! tosses away
Peach: RAAAAAH! runs after it. Daisy follows
Luigi: How freaky is that...
Wario: Hey green dude, we're taking a break.
Luigi: What? I am not paying you to lay around.
Wario: You ain't the one paying us! Besides, we don't get our money until the job is done... If its costing anyone to lay down it would be us.
Waluigi: So stop your barking!
Luigi: You think I like sitting here supervising you?
Wario: Supervise this! tosses a chunk of goo at Luigi
Luigi: Ewwwww!
Wario: Whaa hahahahaha!
Waluigi: Ahahahaha! Thatsa good one!
Luigi: You wanna play boys! Lets play a doubles match!
Wario: Thats fine with us! We'll thrash ya!
Luigi: Ha! You can't beat me!
Waluigi: Who's your partner, wimp?
Luigi: Hey, Miss Peach!--
Peach: I... punch... kill... punch ... Mario... falls asleep
Luigi: Ooooooookay, how about Daisy!
Daisy: Hmm? Okay... Oh, on second thought... hold on a sec!
Luigi: Errrrr, okay. We'll head over to the grass court.
The group sets up at the Grass Court... Daisy returns with Shy Away.
Shy Away: Oh oh oh, what a huge court.
Daisy: Luigi, Shy Away will be your partner!
Luigi: What!
Wario and Waluigi: Ahahahahaha! Whaa hahahaha!
Luigi: Eh... alright...
Shy Away: Oh oh oh, I hope we win!
Luigi: Me too.
Daisy: I'll go watch Smilax so you don't have to worry about him. Okay?
Shy Away: Thank you, Daisy.
Daisy: Have fun! And remember what I told you!
Shy Away: Yes!
Luigi: Alright... You're going to be up at the net. Just hit the ball when you can.
Shy Away: Okay.
Wario: We're serving first!
Wario serves the ball... but it is intercepted by Shy Away. Because Shy Away was not the determined recipient, Wario's team got a point.
Wario: Ahahaha! Stupid fairy! 15-0!
Luigi: Ahhh, Shy Away, only the person who is cross court from the server can receive the serve.
Shy Away: oh oh oh, I am sorry!
Wario serves the ball to Shy Away who is the the supposed reciever... however Shy Away lets it go and Wario scores another point.
Shy Away: Why didn't you hit it?
Luigi: Because that was yours...
Shy Away: Oh oh oh, how confusing!
Wario: 30-0 you losers!
Shy Away: 30 points? But you only scored twice, mister!
Wario: Duh, it goes 0, 15, 30, 40, and then game.
Shy Away: Okay. That's odd.
Luigi: Ugh... I'll never win...
Back at Hooters...
Waitress: So, are you guys, like, gunna order yet?
Toad: St-still choosing!
Waitress: When I said "Take your time" I didn't mean thirty minutes.
Toad: I have to use the bathroom! Yoshi, come with me. drags yoshi away
Waitress: ... sighs and sits
Mario: So... live around here?
Toad and Yoshi arrive outside of the two bathroom doors.
Toad: This is making me so nervous! Why is Mario doing this to me? Auuuuugh lets just try to relax...
Yoshi: Aurrrrrrrugh...
Toad: You really have to go to the bathroom? Well... okay... uh oh.
Yoshi?
Toad: Look at the doors... "Hooters... and Man boobs..."
Yoshi: Oo?
Toad: What the heck is a man boob?
Yoshi: chuckles
Toad: Well... I am not sure which one is the boys bathroom... lets wait a little.
Yoshi doesn't have patience and charges into the door labeled "Hooters" Toad chases after him.
Toad: Yooooooshi! What are you doing?
Yoshi: ... looking around ... WAAAAH! ;
Toad: No urinals... pink and white... more stalls and mirrors... a distinct smell of perfume! This is the strangest guy's bathroom I have ever been in!
Yoshi: Yoshi yoshi!
Toad: What?
An old lady enters.
Old lady: Heavens me! There is a boy in here!
Toad: Thats because you are a man boob ma'dam, not a hooter. This is the boys bathroom!
Old lady: My mistake! walks out
Yoshi: chuckles
Toad: C'mon just use the bathroom already. I hate waiting on people.
Yoshi: Hmmmm... :(
Yoshi shyly walks into the bathroom stall and uses it. He comes out.
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Toad: Eww wash your hands.
Toad and Yoshi return to the table.
Toad: Sorry about that... oh, she is still here. OO;
Waitress: Oh. My. God. Did you know he climbed to the top of this unfinished building and beat up a barrel tossing ape to save his girlfriend!
Mario: Yeah, well, it was nothing really.
Toad: Really? Peach never told me that one.
Mario: She... wasn't there...
Toad: O
Waitress: Did ya figure out what you wanted little guy?
Toad: Can I go to the bathroom again!
Mario: Wow this is taking forever. Look, uhmm... "Amee", my friend here... wants to have sex with you.
Toad: WH-WH-WH-WHAAAAAAT?
Yoshi: Aaack! falls out of chair
Waitress: Uh... I really don't think my husband would like that... Oh, my shift is over. So I am going to go now and let someone else wait on you. Okay? Later. rushes off
After the dinner, the three get back on the bus.
Mario: How was I supposed to know? I didn't think such a young girl would be married.
Toad: I never wanted to ask her out...
Yoshi: Hmmmm!
Mario: So... you need a girl.
Toad: Hah! I can get a girlfriend whenever I want.
Mario: Yeah right. You could barely talk in there.
Toad: It was awkward! They were barely covered...
Mario: And that's awkward how?
Toad: ... I wanna watch Nick Jr... :(
Mario: Hmm, maybe its because you've never been exposed to sex.
Toad: OO!
Mario: You're always watching kiddie shows so you never have seen anything sexual before which is why hooters was so awkward for you!
Toad: What, and you have?
Mario: Everyone has. Sex is everywhere. Although not so much in Mushroom Kingdom... when Luigi and I lived in america... I swear, there was tons of it everywhere you look.
Toad: Gross!
Mario: You've seen whats under Luigi's pillow, right?
Toad: No...
Mario: Viagra... chuckles
Toad: What's that?
Mario: Oh.. Right... Well, it's a... whisperwhisperwhisper
Toad: What kind of sicko thought of that? And why the heck would you ever buy it!
Mario: Wow. You're like, pure. I totally respect you now!
Toad: Whatever, just keep your sex away from me and my TV!
The bus stops at the MKA gates and Toad rushes off and heads for his room.
Mario: We'll see you later Yoshi. I know you got that chore to do.
Yoshi: Yoooooooshiiiiiii! waves
Mario heads for the MKA campus... he spots a snoozing Peach in the grass and decides to check on her.
Mario: Peach... You okay?
Peach: AHHH! OO
Mario: Relax! Its me!
Peach: Mario... you're back:D
Mario: Yeah! Sorry it took so lon–
Peach: Who the hell do you think you are! You scared the crap out of everyone! We've been waiting to hear from you all day and its like four o' clock now... somehow...
Mario: We were delayed... I was hurt on the way there so I've been resting in the hospital.
Peach: OH MY GOD! What happened? Was it Bowser!
Mario: ...Sure, I'll go with that.
Peach: Oooooooh! Well don't worry Mario, you go rest. I'll deal with Bowser.
Mario: Kay thanks bye. runs off
Peach: I'm going to give that Bowser a piece of my mind!
Over at the BKA, Peach rings the bell at the front gate.
Iggy: on screen Ehhhhh can I help you?
Peach: I wish to speak to Bowser. Is he here?
Iggy: Yes, but you can't get in without the password.
Peach: Password? Since when is there a password?
Iggy: Since today! Now try to guess.
Peach: Umm... "bwahahahaha!"
Iggy: Nope.
Peach: "I hate the Mario Brothers!"
Iggy: Nuh uh.
Peach: "That Peach is one fine mama!"
Iggy: That's next week's password.
Peach: Oh this is so lame! I need to talk to him! Just let me in!
Iggy: No lady!
Peach: Don't you know who I am! I am Princess Peach!
Iggy: Okay! You can come in! the gates open
Peach: Finally.
Iggy: Just don't tell anyone else.
Peach: Hmm?
Iggy: The password! If anyone finds out its "I am Princess Peach" then everyone will be in here...
Peach: What kind of password is that... ah, well, I won't tell.
Iggy: Thanks lady.
Peach marches in the front building...
Peach: What in the... That creep! He totally stole my design! His front building interior is the same as mine! Grrrrrrrrr.
Peach finds the main office with ease and barges in to find Bowser in the exact same eye-popping office that Peach has.
Bowser: Hey! Princess Peach! You've come to join me at last!
Peach: Mario told me what you did to him!
Bowser: What? I didn't do anything to the twerp plumber today.
Peach: Lies! He was in the hospital! I even called and checked.
Bowser: As much as I'd love to see that man in a full body cast, I didn't do it.
Peach: What makes you think I'd believe you?
Bowser: Listen, girly, you better get out of my office or–
Peach: This is my office! You stole my designs!
Bowser: Gwahaha I know. I remember seeing that place and it was amazing! I love the glass wall behind the desk! You can see everything from here!
Peach: I know! Isn't it awesome?
Bowser: Totally!
Peach: Yeah, its so– HEY! Stop that!
Bowser: What?
Peach: Making me forget what I was yelling about...
Bowser: Uhhh... You were about to leave quietly.
Peach: I was not!...
Bowser: Okay.
Peach: ...
Bowser: ...
Peach: ...
Bowser: ...
Peach: ... ummmm.
Peach: ...
Bowser: ...
Peach: ...
Bowser: ...
Peach: ... Hmmm.
Bowser: ... yeeeeeah, you better go now.
Peach: Yeah, well, you are not off the hook from... whatever you're not off the hook for...
Peach returns to the MKA, very confused, and beats up the stress reliever. Soon, a sad Luigi returns to the campus with a cheerful Shy Away.
Shy Away: I can't believe I hit the ball!
Luigi: We lost...
Shy Away: Tennis is so much fun! I can't wait to start playing for real.
Luigi: Eh, just try not to be my partner again... you're too good for me. ;
Shy Away: Okay. Hee hee...
Mario spots Luigi and heads over to him.
Mario: Hey bro!
Luigi: Oh, hey Mario. Have fun at Hooters?
Mario: How did you know?
Luigi: Because you are that predictable. walks on
Mario: I am not! catches up to him
Luigi: You know Peach is about ready to kill you right?
Mario: No sweat, I already had Bowser take the blame. If she asks, just say I was held back by him okay?
Luigi: Heh, and how are you going to convince me to cooperate?
Mario! dramatic shock, a few soft notes play in the background
Cass: Miss Raine, please come quickly!
Raine: What is it?
Cass: It's Toadette! She's!
Raine: ... Oh... my... dramatic shock, more notes play
Chef: La-de-da-de-da... hmmm... Yoshi needs to hurry it up... If I don't get the ingredients in time something bad might result from my cooking... notes continue
Man: Amee!
Waitress: Oh! Ricky! You are here to pick me up!
Ricky: Look... Amee... We... have to break up.
Waitress: What? shocked expression, music gets more dramatic
Diane: Tom, it appears that our viewers... did not like our last story...
Tom: But... howwww... dramatic shock, close up on Tom's expression... cameraman chuckles... music plays
Diane: Kidding! XD YOU JUZ GHOT PUNK'D!
Whole news crew busts out with laughter and a pissed off Tom storms off the set in anger.
Toad: watching tv Tom... got... punk'd! O dramatic shock, music is extremely dramatic at this point
Store clerk: I am sorry sir, we are out of 2 milk.
Yoshi: WHAAAA! music
How will Mario get his stubborn brother to cooperate?
Will Yoshi make it to Chef on time with the correct ingredients?
Will Tom punk Diane back?
Does anybody care about Amee's problem?
And... What happened to Toadette?
Answers may be revealed in the next episode of Mario Tennis: MKA!
Comming Soon, Mario Tennis: MKA Episode Eight– Prized Surprises.