We're gonna party like it's ya birthday
We're gonna party like it's ya birthday
We're gonna party like it's ya birthday
C'mon shorty, party, it's ya birthday!
Heh heh.. just a rip off of 50 Cents song, with the words changed, cause… NEWS FLASH! It is my birthday! I turned yrs old… like I'd tell you… .
Any who… enjoy this special birthday edition.. got nothing to do with birthdays… but meh.
Here ya go:
"Hi! My name is Kai
Alexander Hiwatari and I am only 6 years old! I like-"
Just as
he was talking, Kai burst into the room.
"Who the hell were you talking to?" he snapped, but then rolled his eyes at Chibi Kai who stood in front of the mirror. Kai humphed.
"What are you doing?"
"Masturbating! " said Chibi Kai cheerfully. Kai's jaw dropped and he stared at Chibi Kai, his eyes almost popping.
"Wh… where did you learn that?" Kai finally managed to croak. Chibi Kai smiled happily.
"The funny old man in the toilet. What does masturbating mean?"
Kai opened his mouth and shut it a couple of times. He looked more then a little uncomfortable.
"Um…" he gurgled. "Er… ask Rei."
Totally unaware, Chibi Kai skipped out the door, leaving Kai to eye the mirror suspiciously.
"Rei?" asked Chibi Kai, entering the kitchen and pulling himself up onto the bench where Rei was cutting onions.
"Yep?"
"What does masturbating mean?"
There was silence as Rei stared at Chibi Kai. Then:
"Awwwww-ooooooowwwww!" as the sharp (very sharp) knife Rei was using slipped.
"So?" Chibi Kai prompted a pale, bleeding Rei. "What does it men?"
"A-ask Hilary," gasped Rei, saying the first name that came into his head.
"Hilary?" asked Chibi Kai innocently, entering the lounge where Hilary and Tyson were cleaning spare Beyblade parts.
"Yeah, sweetie?" replied Hilary. Chibi Kai smiled his most angelic smile.
"What does masturbating mean?"
Hilary's expression went from one of indulgence to shock to horror and back to shock.
"Are you serious?" she finally squeaked. Chibi nodded, completely oblivious. Hilary stared at him, a small, slightly terrified look on her face.
"What's up?" asked Tyson, looking up at them for the first time. Hilary's face cleared, as if she had just been thrown a lifeline.
"Ask Tyson," she said desperately. Tyson raised his eyebrows.
"Ask me what?"
"What does masturbating mean?"
Tyson gave Chibi Kai an almost parental smile, full of amusement and understanding.
"Well," he began, but was interrupted by Hilary standing up and fleeing the room, her hands over her ears.
"Masturbation is when you-"
This time Max interrupted Tyson.
"What are you guys doing?" poor, naïve (soon to be scared for life) Max asked.
"I'm teaching Chibi Kai all about masturbating," Tyson informed Max. Max's face portrayed his horror. He picked his jaw off the floor, slowly beginning to back away, the fear still evident.
"Anyway," said Tyson. "as I was saying. Masturbation is when-"
"DIE!" Max came running back into the room, brandishing the knife Rei had cut himself with. "DIE!" he screamed again, aiming at Tyson.
"Yes, Max?" asked Tyson with amazing politeness, given the fact that Max was bearing down on him with a kitchen knife.
"DIE!" Max's hand arched downwards, the knife plunging towards Tyson. Suddenly, Max disappeared with a 'voosh' sound. All that was left was small mushroom cloud of baby blue smoke. Think nuclear holocaust explosion, downsized by about 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000… Yeah, you get the point.
Tyson stared at where Max had been standing, and then ran out the room, screaming at the top of his voice. Chibi Kai followed him, begging to be told the meaning of the still yet to be explained word.
Rei met them in the hall, hands on hips, one hand bandaged.
"You two aren't doing anything wrong too, are you?" he asked in an accusing tone.
"No, why?" asked Tyson, scratching his head. Rei shrugged, sighing slightly.
"Nothing, just that Kai just trashed the mirror upstairs."
Speaking of the devil, Kai came running downstairs, his scarf flying out behind him. Behind him was Max, still brandishing the knife, intent on destroying Kai.
Kai dodged behind Rei, panting.
"He suddenly burst out of the WARDROBE! What the fuck is going on?"
Nobody had an answer, and Max launched himself at Kai, who ducked behind Tyson. Max ground to a holt, standing just in front of a cringing Tyson.
With a calm, totally insane smile, Max raised the knife.
"Bye-bye!" he caroled, his baby voice not matching his cold eyes. Just as the knife sailed towards Tyson and Kai, there was a double 'voosh' sound, and all that remained of the two boys was a dark blue miniature mushroom cloud and a completely black one, with a hint of flame red at the center.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Tyson looked at Kai.
"Where are we?" Kai swore and threw himself to one side, pulling Tyson with him.
"In the middle of a bloody busy ROAD!" he screamed. Even as he spun wildly around, looking for an escape, a two-ton truck bore down on them.
SMASH
SQUASH
SCREECH
Goodbye Tyson and Kai (A/N: hey, sorry, but that's the second time Kai's been hit by a truck…). The driver ran out of the truck, panicking. He was sure he had hit two teenage boys, but when he looked, all that was there were two very thin Uncle Toby's Roll Ups (A/N: TM R etc. I don't own…). The hungry truck driver picked them up and shoved them down his throat.
He was curled up on the side of the road, in absolute agony when the remaining Bladebreakers came upon him while looking for Kai and Tyson. They quickly took him to a hospital.
Later that afternoon, a tired looking nurse came out to see them.
"We're very sorry," she said. "But we weren't able to save him." She left the boys + Hilary, who filled in to pay their respects to the dead trucker.
To their amazement, Tyson was sitting in the hospital bed, looking like he'd just woken up.
"Yo…" he groaned. While the Bladebreakers stared, slack jawed and shocked, Kai came out of the bathroom, rubbing his arms looking disgusted.
"I… Just… Woke… Up… In bed… With… TYSON!" Kai gulped and rubbed his face, looking as if he was holding back his lunch.
"C'mon," said Max with a maniac glint in his eye. "Let's get you love birds home…" He was forced to run as an enraged Kai chased him from he hospital.
Back at the Bladebreakers house, Max looked himself in the dojo, forcing the others to gather around the door, wondering to his strange behavior.
The door suddenly swung open, and the group of teens tumbled in. Max was sitting in the middle of the room, in the lotus position, deep in meditation.
His eyes flicked open.
"Kai… I know where you live…"
Kai nodded. "Yeah, we share a house…"
"Kai… I know what you did last summer…"
Kai nodded again. "Yeah, we spent the holidays at a beach house… you were there too…"
"Kai… I know who you love."
Kai nodded again. "Yeah, I love – HEY! Wait a minute…"
Max grinned. "And know you're gonna DIE!"
The kitchen knife once more made its appearance, and once more made it's way towards a collision with Kai's heart.
Kai lent backwards, but he didn't need to. With a 'voosh' sound, Max disappeared, leaving behind him the tell tale mushroom cloud.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Kai cracked open an eye. He had a blinding headache. He stumbled to his feet, and headed to fridge. Behind him, Rei also staggered up.
"What happened?" Rei croaked. Kai opened the fridge. It was full of empty glass bottles. Empty glass Vodka bottles. Lots of them. All empty.
"I don't know," said Kai blankly. Tyson pulled himself to his feet.
"Where's Max?" he asked. Kai opened the cupboards in the kitchen. Out fell several or the empty, glass, vodka bottles. They smashed on the floor, but there were plenty still sitting on the shelves.
"I don't know," Kai said, sounding just a little nervous. He left Tyson and Rei to wake up properly and went into his bedroom. The mirror was smashed and Kenny was lying passed out on the floor. Chibi Kai ducked under Kai's legs, standing up in front of him.
"What happened?" Chibi asked.
Kai pulled back the bed covers to reveal more then a few of the empty Vodka bottles. Mixed up in the glass bottles was a pair of Rei's undies and a pair of Kenny's.
Kai shuddered.
"I don't want to know…"
Chibi Kai nodded, looking equally grossed out. He headed downstairs and planted himself in front of Tyson.
"What does masturbating mean?"
The end…. For now…. Well, fine, chapter 9… but not chapter nine, if ya get me…
Any way, R+R, then R+R… . I'm so funny…