OK ppl—here is the movie version from Poo Poo's point of view.
The Poo Poo and the Pee
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, lived a princess named Poo Poo. She was smart, gorgeous, irresistible, and all that jazz. She desperately wanted to marry a handsome prince named Butt Head, but she could never find a time to meet and chat with him. But one lucky day, she saw an ad in the paper for a contest to marry Prince Butt Head! Boy, was Poo Poo delighted! She stuck the ad on the fridge with a magnet to be sure she wouldn't forget to go.
The day of the contest arrived, and Poo Poo got ready so quickly, but so attractively (a guy whistling, cuz he thinks shez hot, in the background). The rain outside was miserable, so she hired a coach and rode to Butt Head's castle in it. When she got there, there was an intensely long line up. She stepped inside the palace doors and Butt Head was standing there in his stunningly amazing and crisp, black suit. He looked sort of bored and agitated. When he saw Poo Poo enter, his eyes brightened and a glistening white smile spread across his masculine facial features. (By the way this is not a Crest toothpaste ad) (the last bracket thing wasn't supposed to be funny either, just thought you should know.) Poo Poo smiled flirtingly and batted her eyelashes ever so quickly, that one of her stinky eyes had pooped out and fallen on to the ground during the smell of the batting process. Poo Poo's brown coat of stench turned red around her cheeks (she blushed, basically).
Anyway, after she picked up the stinker (aka eyeball) and had safely put it back in place, she waved coyly to Butt Head. He barfed. He ran to the bathroom. But there were so many in the palace that he didn't know which one to use. He stood in the hallway dumbly for a minute, looking confused, but then he chose the farthest one, because he knew exercise made you FIT. So he ran three more steps to the elevator, forgot to press the button so he thought he was stuck in the elevator until he realized his stupidness. He pressed a button and said "Oh my!" gracefully as he raised and lowered a lock of hair.
The princesses (and one gay Prince) who had come to attempt to marry Prince Butt Head were each given a bed to sleep on. Each of the beds consisted of ten mattresses, and the Princesses had to sleep on them. The queen had secretly peed under the ten mattresses on each bed. She snickered quietly and arranged each person's sleeping plans. Poo Poo had to sleep on bed four.
In the morning, the queen asked each of the candidates (the princesses and the one gay Prince) how their night was. Each of them said it was marvelously wonderful, except Poo. When it came her turn (she was last) she said that it was horrible. There was something wet, squishy and yellow under the mattresses.
The queen knew that only a real princess could be that sensitive to feel the pee under the ten big mattresses. Therefore, Poo Poo got to marry Butt Head and they lived stinkily ever after. KOH