Chapter 3

As if she had been the one to kiss me, I snapped away from her, completely mortified with what I had just done. No words came to me as I looked at her, so I said nothing.

She stared at me, unblinking. Then finally, she blinked a few times to restrain angry tears. With a sweep of her right arm, She slapped me across the face. And she slapped me hard. "Fuck..You.."

Then she turned and ran out of the room without another word, not even bothering to slam the door.

I ran my hands down my face in frustration. She was 16, Get a hold of yourself. That's illegal..

I heaved myself to my feet and put a hand to my stinging cheek. I deserved it. I was completely wrong.

I heard the door open, but before I could react to the sound, I was nearly knocked backward by Hermione, flinging her arms around my neck and taking me into a kiss where she could not be mistaken as the initiator.

I pushed her away slightly, looking at her in slight confusion. "Fuck you?"

"Yeah.." She said breathlessly. "And I meant it..."

I grinned, feeling my willpower fall through the floor as I took her into another greedy kiss.

This girl was mine.

I awoke the next morning as the sun flooded through my open green Venetian blinds. I had neglected to pull the curtains shut the night before.

Oblivious to the activities which occurred the past night, I sat up and stretched, looking about the room. Today was going to be a good day.

Well, it would have been until I saw the lingerie on the floor.

My head snapped to the left side of my bed and I saw Hermione, sleeping soundly, blankets pulled up to her neck. I looked down at myself and realized the only article of clothing I was wearing were a pair of boxers.

"Oh my god!" I yelped aloud, snatching the comforter over to cover myself. Upon seeing Hermione nude, I shoved the comforter over her again. "Oh my god!" I fell backwards onto the floor and landed with a thud.

Hermione awoke with a start, as I scurried around the floor to gather my clothing. I had slept with a student. This would surely mean my job. This was the end. Oh god. Oh god. Oh Christ.

She drew the blanket up around herself and leaned over the bedside and looked at me, yawning. "Good morning?" She put a hand over her mouth and mumbled an 'excuse me, glancing, nonchalant, to the clock on my night stand. "9:40..My am I glad for a saturday.."

I shook my head, getting to my feet. "Hermione.." I managed, shutting my eyes. I felt a headache coming on. "Did we...have sex?"

"No Professor." She said, jovial. A grin on her face."We just decided to take off all our clothes and have a slumber party."

"Oh..This isn't good.." I began dressing with the clothes that were sprawled across my quarters, my stomach wrenching itself all the while. "This isn't very good, Hermione." I met her glance.

She bit her lip and ran a hand back through her hair, messy and wild, but still managing to suit her. Her skin was so flawless in the sunlight and the memories of myself ravishing it the previous night began to come back to me.

"What should we do?" She said, becoming more meek.

I laughed nervously. "I don't know." And I wasn't lying. I never had imagined I would have ever put myself in a situation like the one I was involved in currently. I was so irresponsible, I couldn't believe what I'd done and whom I'd done it with. I'd taken many a woman to bed in my years, but never a student. That was wrong. So completely wrong. "I really don't know."

Images of me being arrested by the ministry began to play in my head, and at that moment, the real event taking place didn't seem so unlikely. In my own head at the moment, there was no way I was going to be able to get around being found out and prosecuted. This might as well have been the end of the line. The room seemed to get smaller every few moments. I ran my hands down my face and sat on the floor, contemplating what the next move would be.

"Don't you understand?" She said, reaching down to retrieve her shirt off the floor and pulled it over herself without bothering to put on her bra.

"I'm not sure I know what I am expected to understand at this moment." I replied, remotely bitter. This girl could cost me my job. I shook my head. It wasn't her fault. It was my own. I could have said no, and I didn't. This was my doing.

"I wasn't finished talking." She wrapped the blanket on my bed around her and walked over to where I sat on the floor. She bent down and made direct eye contact, something she was never quite able to do since I'd known her. She was a few inches from my face so she spoke quietly."You need to understand, that no matter what. We can't take that back." She leaned in and kissed my lips softly. "Do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

I studied her for a moment. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. She often was and I didn't like being in the wrong very often. "Not at all.." I sighed after a bit and stood up to sit on the edge of my bed. "We've got to talk once you're out.."

"I know we do." She replied, gathering her clothes from where they lay on the floor and disappearing into my bathroom, in the adjacent room. I sat there, trying to calm my nerves and when I didn't succeed, I swiped my alarm clock from off the night stand and onto the floor where the digital screen went black and no longer displayed the time.

My heart was pounding and it seemed to be in every part of my body. In my throat, my head, my stomach. Would the rest of my days be spent anticipating being sent to Azkaban for a careless one night stand? Though Hermione was right and there was nothing we could do to change what we had done the night prior, I only wished it could be as simple as she made it sound. What I'd committed was a crime. Statutory rape. I was a felon. Un-convicted, but a felon nonetheless. How would I be able to stand myself?

I finally managed to get up and get dressed while she tidied herself up as well, lying on my bed afterward, staring up at the forest green canopy. I hung my legs over the edge and crossed my hands atop my chest. Maybe this was all some kind of sick dream I was having.

The bathroom door creaked opened, and Hermione walked out, fully dressed, brushing out her hair with my brush. She gave a tired smile. "So how should we talk? There is much to be said.." She placed her brush atop my dresser. She walked over to sit beside me. " I'll allow you to speak first, if you'd like."

I used my arms to push myself up into a sitting position and looked at her. "Listen to me now, We can't do this."

She didn't have a reply at the moment, but I saw the gears turning in her head. A faint smile crossed her lips "Do you know what you said to me last night after we had made love?"

I shook my head to reply with a wordless no. The night before, only a few things were playing over in my mind when I thought back. Other than those few clips that seemed to be on repeat in my brain, most else that had occurred was a blur to me.

"Well.." She said softly, not looking at me, but looking at my hands instead. "You said many things. You told me I was beautiful.."

"You are beautiful." That came impulsively, as was the motion of me putting my hand to her cheek and stroking it gently. "You are."

She looked into my eyes. "You told me you loved me."

My heart sunk. I took in a deep breath, but didn't know what to tell her. I know a part of me meant what I said, but my declaration of love was also a product of lust. I couldn't tell her that, so I just looked at her.

"You don't have to say anything, I know we both said a lot of things we didn't mean.." I heard a break in her voice, as if she was about to cry. She blinked twice and cleared her throat. "But did you mean it? Even a little bit?"

I sighed. Why was it so hard to just come out and say what I wanted? I knew I had to sever ties with her, I couldn't let this continue, even if most of me wanted it to. "I can't allow myself to mean what I said.." I moved my hand from her face and took her hand into mine tenderly. More tender than I'd held anything in a very long time. "I can't let you put yourself into this situation. Don't you realize what could happen to both of us?"

She nodded and squeezed my hand with her own. "Why don't you stop running away?"

Well that was accusatory.

"I'm not, Hermione. I'm doing what is best for you!" I replied in a raised voice. I heaved a sigh. "I didn't mean to yell, but Hermione, This is illegal." I put my hands onto her shoulders as if it would allow her to better understand what I was trying to tell her. "I'm not running, I'm protecting you."

"What if I don't want protection?" She shrugged my hands away. "I think I am more than able to make my own decisions..." She trailed off.

"Why are you saying this?" I asked her, on the verge of desperation. "Why can't you let it go?"

Her eyes filled with tears and her voice was higher than usual when she spoke. "Because I need to know last night meant something and that I'm just not some slut." She looked away, but not before I saw a stray tear fall from her eye.

My heart fell even farther. I could only wrap my arms tightly around her from the side. I held her like that for a while. I could tell she needed to be. I felt protective of her, responsible. I felt guilty for making her feel used. I moved away from her slightly. " I'll think on it. We both should at least take the rest of the day to think on it."

She brought her eyes back to mine and a smile came to her lips. "You're right." She nodded and then whimpered. "Oh Severus.." She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly and buried her face in my chest. I held her a little tighter.

I was really stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Get yourself together lass." I rubbed her on the back. "I'll see you in detention tonight."

She laughed. "If that's what you even want to call it after last night." She got up from my bed, and I did the same. As we walked in silence to the door, she stopped half way and looked up at me thoughtfully. "Was I any good?"

I laughed, and bent down to kiss her. "You were brilliant." I held the door open for her. "I will see you tonight."

She touched my chest lightly. "See you." She then left.

I watched her walking away for a few moments, then slowly, shut the door. Exhaling heavily I put my hand upon the region of my chest she had touched, in absence of the warmth her touch brought.

Did I miss her already? No, I assured myself as I rubbed my tired eyes and looked out the window into the cliched late spring scene that was outside of it. Not short of one singing bird or dull or pair of young lovers strolling hand in hand.

I lay back on my bed again, unable to think.

I needed some rest before I lost my mind.

As if I already haven't.. With that thought, I allowed sleep to overtake me.