Aoi: Yes, another comedy by me. YAY! I was so inspired to start writing this fanfic while I was finishing up my Tea bashing one. But I'm just going to get one thing straight. This is NOT a TristanxSeto story. In my stories I tend to make Tristan the only Yu-Gi-Oh! guy who isn't gay. XDD

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh, I wish I did...but I don't. -sniffle- I do NOT own the name Gorillaz for a group. I do NOT own "Gold digger" by Kanye West. I do NOT own "In da club" by 50 cent. I do NOT own "Jesus Walks"Kanye West. I do NOT own "We be burnin'" by Sean Paul. I do NOT own "Kryptonite (I'm on it)" by Big Boi & Purple Ribbon All-Stars. I do NOT own "Spongebob". BUT I DO OWN THE IDEA OF TRISTAN'S FAMILY, MY MADE-UP CHARACTER, CHRIS... AND THIS STORY. SO I WOULD HIGHLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T TRY TO STEAL MY IDEA. THAT WOULD MAKE ME REALLY SAD AND PISSED OFF AT THE SAME TIME. I'M SORRY BUT IT'S TRUE...thank you.

House Guest

Chapter One:Searching, Running, Entering.

Ding Dong, sounded the door bell after the finger released from it. A cheerful smile upon the face of our favorite brunette, Tristan Taylor. It was a lovely June day, school being let out. The earth still being dampened from rain the night before, oh yes, to him this was a lovely day. At the sides of him there were bags of luggage, why? And why he was at Seto Kaiba's front door? These questions will seriously be answered soon enough.
Earlier that day, okay...last night to be exact. Tristan stared out the window, his chestnut colored eyes three times their original size, as the car drove away in the rainy darkness. "We'll trust you to find someone," his mother had said to him before she and his father left for a vacation. Right...he needed someone to stay with, but why bother people in the night when you have tomorrow? The teen decided to put it off till the next day when he'd be fully restored, and it would be easy to find a friend to stay with. After all, who could say no to him?
The next day, the teen walked through the door of the Game Shop. The bell dinging at the moment the door opened. The brunette looking very cheerful as he walked over to counter to see someone behind an opened news paper. Of course it was grandpa, he figured. "Hey Grandpa...you gotta sec?"

"Sorry Tristan, I'm very busy," the ancient, old man answered as he lowered his news paper, a smile upon his face.

Tristan about died at the sight of the old one, he must've gotten older since the last time he had seen him.

"Oh don't mind me, I'm not a morning person," the old man used as an excuse.

The teen simply nodding, he understood that some people weren't morning people, after all...neither was dad, but that was another story. Yugi's grandfather got up from his stool, and walked towards him. It obvious that age was getting to him since his vision wasn't all that good, his arms reaching for the body of the other.

"STAY BACK, OLD ONE," he proclaimed holding his fingers in the shape of a cross as he backed out of the game shop.

"Okay, come again," Grandpa answered, waving towards the dinging door.

"Who was that Grandpa?" Yugi suddenly asked as he walked through the door, his clothes rather ruffled, red marks on his skin. It was obvious what he had done the night before, and this morning...but because of his grandfather's bad hearing, short memory, and horrible eye sight...he could get away with anything.

"Who was who?" he answered reaching for a broom. Sometimes Grandpa would get in these moods...where he just had to clean something, even though it wasn't dirty at all. Usually he would pick the floor, since it was the easiest thing to find. And deep down inside he always thought it was dirty...and the fact that Yugi paid to get black colored tile to replace the old ones that were beginning to chip away, wasn't helping. And while he was at it, he got the whole entire place modernize, there was no need for people to look at the game shop and be able to guess that the store was being ran by an elderly man.

"The person who just came by," The eighteen year old explained.

"Oh no, I'm missing In the heat of the night, episode 4809, Yugi," he dropping his broom, shaking his grandson by the shoulders, "EPISODE 4809!"

"I get it Grandpa, I get it."

"No, Yugi...I don't think you do," he answered, his hands moving away from his grandson, "You don't understand anything...all you care about is those new fangled heart attack shows, with all the noise, and noise, and noise. The beeping and screaming and cursing and blood and sex and drugs and violence."

"You can't forget the action," Yugi added.

"WHAT ACTION!" he exclaimed, "What? People having sex on televison? Is that action? Those music videos showin' too much booty, not leaving any room for imagination."

"Right Grandpa," the tri-color haired teen awkwardly chuckled, "Aren't you missing your show?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," the elderly old man dramatically cried as he dropped to his knees.

Tristan lightly kicked a tiny rock as he walked down the dampened sidewalk. He needed a sign, a sign from god of where he was supposed to go next. That's when he noticed a tiny sheet of paper gently floating in the wind with all it's majesty, oh he needed it, he needed it more than anything...so he chased it. There was nothing wrong with the eighteen year old chasing the floating object which happened to be caught in an updraft, drifting farther and farther from him.
It kept floating until it finally landed on top the stoop of an old apartment building, the brunette running over to pick it up. Instead of reading it, he folded it neatly, and stuffed it into his pocket, patting it lightly afterwards.

So where exactly was he? Well, looking around he noticed that he was in a bad part of town...well that was what someone had tagged on the side of a building in a rather artistic fashion. Even the sign below it that said LEAVE OR DIE, looked very inviting to the teen.

"You live 'round here?" a voice suddenly asked, the voice of a local Tristan figured, he whipping around to see a man with a rather dark complexion...he was black in simplier terms.

"Uh...hmm...yes?"

"You live in dat buildin'?

"No...I'm sorry, I lied to you," he quickly apologized.

"T'aint right...you can't be lyin' folk, dumb shit" the other snapped.

"I apologize Mr...erm, what am I supposed to call you again?"

"Chris," he answered, managing to give a smile exposing one of his gold teeth.

"As in Christopher?"

"Man, you can't be callin' me by my first name like you's my mama," the male hissed as in a quick motion he had a gun up to Tristan's neck. Tristan didn't know how he got himself into situations like this...but it seemed as if it came natural to him. A straight face was the only emotion the brunette had. Chris noticed this as he removed his gun, lightly chuckling at the fact that the other wasn't crying or wetting his pants. He then lightly punching Tristan's arm.

"Man, you okay for a white boy," he laughed, "maybe we should hang out sometime or somethin'."

"Am I supposed to be offended?" Tristan asked as his brow arched slightly.

"No man, I'm complementin' you," he laughed even harder. "Well see ya sometime." And with that Chris walked off.

The feeling that was left inside of the other was sheer confusion, and bafflement, no matter, he had to go inside of the apartment building to see who he just remembered lived here. Joey Wheeler of course. But how was he going to get inside was the question, he had to be tactful.
Joey suddenly walked past him, inside of the building as he thought to himself. After a few seconds, the blonde poked his head out, only to make sure that he was really seeing who he thought he saw.

"Tristan?"

"Shh, shh white boy, I'm figuring out a way to be tactful," he commented.

"White...boy? Tristan, you sure you got ya head on straight?" the other eighteen year old asked as he lightly scratched his head, "Well, you comin' inside?"

The other only shrugged his shoulders as he followed.

Once inside Joey's actual apartment, Tristan took a seat on the old couch. It took him a while to get comfortable...but after a few minutes of alternating positions he was able to. Joey on the other hand, was trying his best to straighten up, picking up his father's beer bottles, which happened to be scattered about the place. Some not even empty, but the brunette was one of the few people that were actually allowed to see the place like this. To Joey...Tristan was like the brother he's glad he doesn't have...or something along the lines of that.

As old beer was being poured down the sink, Tristan suddenly remembered that he had a duffle bag and a rolling suit case with him. He quickly unzipping one of the pockets, pulling out a cd case. "Hey Joe, my dad got me another CD to give to you," he said as he held up the item, waving it slightly, "You know, since my dad works with the music people."

"Uh huh," the blonde commented from the other room.

"Yeah, I thought you would like Gorillaz or something," the brunette added, he knowing in his heart how kind and caring he was. Of course he was the perfect friend, more perfect than that Tea Gardner of course. It was all about sex to her, that's all she ever talked about. Besides, if he continued giving Joey CD's then there was a slight chance that he would forget about all the insults that he had given him in the past. Like the times he called him a monkey, an awful duelist or even a dueling monkey...the truth was that he didn't really mean it. And maybe, just maybe this could be an opportunity for bygones be bygones.

Joey suddenly walked out of the kitchen, he wiping his hands off on a towel as he glanced about the room. He being quite pleased at the way everything looked. The place actually looked decent, now to see how long it stayed that way. After taking the cd from his friend, he walked through another door, it being the one to his bed room.

"Joey," Tristan began, his voice trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"Ya need something?" he called out.

"Yeah, I kinda do...see, I need a place to stay for a while, and I was wondering if I could stay with you, ol' buddy, ol' pal."

"Sorry, Tristan," the blonde said as he walked out of the bedroom, back into the living room, "I'm gonna be stayin' at my mom's." He cringing at the word. It was a well known fact that Joey Wheeler was never on good terms with his mother. To the point where he was surprised that he actually was getting to stay in her house...but it seemed his little sister might've had something to do with that. Another reason he actually agreed to stay there for a while, other than the fact that he wanted to see Serenity, was because his father was going to be having a lot of his friends over...and Joey frankly didn't want to be here to see a lot of drunken, old men act stupid.

The brunette simply stood up at this, he nodding his head to his friend. It was a shame he wasn't going to be able to stay with the Wheelers. He actually thought that Joey's dad was cool. Sure he was drunk, but he would let you do about almost anything if he wasn't trying to beat you up.

"Hope ya find someone to stay with," the other grinned as he pulled up the blinds, making it easier for him to look down at the street below. All he had to do was wait for his mom to pull up.

"Well, good luck, buddy," Tristan laughed, giving his friend a thumbs up as he started walking towards the door.

A few minutes after he actually walked out of it, he walked back in. "Hey Joey."

"Yeah?"

"Do you know someone named...Chris?"

"Uh, I guess...I know he lives around here."

"Well, yeah...we're friends, and I think we should all hang out sometime."

"Oh...kay."

"Yeah, that's all I wanted to tell you," and with that, he was gone again.

As Tristan Taylor walked down the sidewalk he couldn't help but get very bored, sure listening to the sounds of cars passing by and dogs barking at you was pretty amazing...but it just wasn't enough. So he pulled out his ipod, placing the headphones in his ears, quickly flipping through the songs he had up there. Unlike a lot of his friends, he had a fascination for rap, gangster rap and r&b. It might've had something to do with the fact that his dad worked with rappers and such from America, or it was simply because he just liked the way it sounded...the world may never know.

Once the song actually started up Tristan started humming to himself, the eighteen year old couldn't help but tap his finger along with the beat as well. Finally he couldn't resist the urge no longer, he just had to sing along. It was his all time favorite song, Gold Digger by Kanye West.

"I know his dude's ballin but yea thats nice, And they gone keep callin and tryin," he started to rap lightly to himself, "But you stay right girl, But when you get on he leave yo ... for a white girl."

It was weird, the first time he ever heard this song was one time it played on his mom's car radio. But right when she moved her hand to change it, he whined lightly, "Mom...I wanna hear it." "Okay, Tristan, mommy's going to let it play," he had smiled to him in a motherly way before returning her glance to the road.
Up ahead, the house that he happened to be walking to could be seen. The home of Tea Gardner, how he really didn't want to talk to her. The truth was that he just ran out of things to say to that woman.
A deep sigh sounded from the brunette as he knocked upon the door of the two storied house of the other brunette. She opening the door moments later, looking around.

"Hmm, I thought someone was at my door," she lightly said.

"I'm standing right here," he flatly answered.

"Hmm, It's like the wind is trying to talk to me."

"I'm seriously right here," he answered, getting more and more annoyed by the second.

"Oh wait...it's just Tristan," she finally acknowledged.

There was a moment of silence between the two. It obvious that the two just didn't have anything to say to each other. Tea didn't like Tristan, and he didn't like her...if you didn't know that then people would be asking where you were over the last few years of high school.

"Well, I guess I should be going," he finally said, wanting the silence to end.

"I think you should," she agreed before slamming the door.

As he walked farther and farther from her house, the male couldn't help but thank god. After all there was no way he was going to survive staying at her house. Besides, what on earth were they going to talk about? Sex with guys? Tristan's not gay! And that's the lifestyle he's sticking with.

Next friend on the list, was indeed Ryou. But before going there Tristan had to take the time to think. Did he really want to put himself in that position? He could just see it now, the whole night he would be watching Ryou's collection of Disney movies, and then that night he would have to listen to him and his yami make love...or at least that's what Ryou called it. He didn't want to listen to that...but he'd rather listen to that than go to Malik's house. Those Egyptians were insane. The two of them are seriously evil. The yami wanting to hump anything that moved while the hikari would watch, wondering whether or not to join or not.

Okay that marked the six of them off the list, yes six, since Ishizu and Odion lived with both Marik and Malik. They were the Ishtars after all.

Who else could he ask? And that's where we are now. Tristan ringing the door bell to Seto Kaiba's mansion. The door finally opening, he seeing the butler. Tristan looking up at him, giving a friendly smile.

"Hey, can I speak to Kaiba?" he asked.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Yes?"

"Then you may come in," the butler smiled as he let the brunette inside. The teen taking his luggage in with him. For a moment he was in aw at the size of the place. "Man, Joey wasn't kidding," he said to himself, thinking back to the many times his pal described sneaking it to prank Seto in the night...unfortunately every time he went he, meaning Tristan Taylor, was busy hanging out with his family.

The CEO of Kaiba corp just happened to be walking down the stairs to see the other inside of his home, he blinking slightly...confused. How on earth did he get past his butler! This beginning to anger him, his brows narrowing to the other. He mouthing several curse words as he walked slightly faster down the steps.

"What the hell are you doing in here!" Seto quickly snapped.

"Came by to ask if I could stay with you for a few weeks," he answered, "So can I stay with you for a few weeks?"

"You know what," he began, his glance coming off the teen, there was no reason for him to actually waste his time with him, "No...and I'm giving you to the count of three to get out, before I release the hounds on you."

"Yipe," Tristan squeaked as he quickly got out of the home.

"Well, I'm back where I started," he said as he hopped to the sounds of In Da Club, that played through the headphones of his Ipod.
It was now 8:00pm, and he still had no idea of where he was supposed to stay. He even stopped at burger world, to get a bite as he pondered to himself. Of course he kept his bags close to him, especially since he kept noticing an old man who had his eyes on it. Tristan kept his cd's in his bags, and it was obvious that the old man wanted them. The brunette couldn't explain it but there was something about old people that just made him a tad bit paranoid.

The moment he bit into his hamburger, the man went and joined him at his table...this really creeping him out. His eyes never leaving the other. The elderly man's eyes were small and beady like, their gaze never leaving him. While the man's skin was wrinkly, like that of a bull dog. His skin complexion was a bit like Tristan's, however not as light, maybe three ticks darker. On his head he wore a head scarf, it being covered in a rainbow. His eye brows were bushy snow colored, the teen guessing that the hair was probably the same. His attire was that of a white tight t-shirt that read off: "Old Nasty", it being tight enough to show his fatty wrinkles. Oh god, Tristan was afraid. What if the old man's eyes weren't on his bags...what if they were on him!

Sure Tristan loved gay people, all of his friends belonged to that community, but the fact that an old man...note old, old, old. (Remember...Tristan has a problem with elderly people...very important to remember). A slight whimper sounded from him as he quickly squeaked, "Check please!"

Back on the sidewalk, still uncomfortable about the situation he had just escaped. He needed to get shelter soon enough, anywhere...but where? "LORD, GIVE ME A SIGN!" He cried out, "FOR JESUS WALKS WITH ME, WITH ME, WITH ME." And that's when he saw it, Duke's game shop. Maybe this was his sign...but why Duke? Duke of all people? It started to rain. Tristan quickly putting his Ipod and headphones in his waterproof duffle bag. "I'm sorry God, I didn't mean to complain," he cried out...moments later the rain stopped.
The moment Tristan walked through the door, he couldn't help but look around at his surroundings. Posters were up advertising Dungeon Dice Monsters, even off to the side there was all the official merchandise. The brunette was quite impressed, maybe it wasn't going to be that bad staying with the one who was also after his love, Serenity of course.

Lightly he rolled his backpack around, holding onto his duffle bag as he walked over to the counter, glancing around not seeing anyone. This was...weird, since the shop wasn't considered close yet. But then again there was a note on the register counter that said: "Be back in a few". The male wanted really badly to find Duke to find off he could stay, it was already past 9:30pm. He was wasting entirely too much time.

The only thing he could think of doing was look for the raven haired teen, and that's what he did. Walking about the game shop, accidentally wandering into a dark hallway. "I don't remember ever getting a tour of this place," he commented as he couldn't help but wander in farther. Sounds could suddenly be heard. This really catching the brunette's attention, he wanted to see what was going on. The sounds were getting louder as he progressed down the hall. He able to see a door at the end which had a light shining underneath it. The sounds sounding more like moans, groans and laughs. This creeping him out more and more by the second as his hand moved to the knob. Everything inside of him was telling him to just back away...but curiosity had a spell on him it seemed.

In a quick motion he barged through the door, and to his horror he saw Duke Devlin and another man. He being completely scared, however acted like a deer caught in the headlights. Meaning he couldn't move at all. Both of the men looked over at the intruder. The raven haired male cowering behind his partner, he being a brunette like Tristan, with the addition of blonde spiked up tips. His dark colored eyes looked angered at the other teen as he felt Duke's presence moving behind him. What angered him most of all was that he wasn't ready to stop giving affection to his raven haired lover.

"I'll be going now," our star awkwardly chuckled as he thumbed the direction the door was in, before retreating.

"I hope you know you can stay with us as long as you need to," Yugi smiled as he watched Atemu stash Tristan's luggage into the closet. The pharaoh didn't look happy, there was no way he wanted any visitors at the moment. The brunette nodded, looking a bit uneasy at the room, he one bed.

"Uh, Yugi," he began, "Didn't the pharaoh used to have his own bed?"

"Yeah, but we got rid of it," the tri-haired hikari explained, "He didn't use it anyways."

His yami shooting him a playful grin at the statement, this only causing the other to blush heavily.

"Right," Tristan answered, drawing out his word, as he glanced away from the bed back to Yugi, "Then where am I going to sleep?"

"With Grandpa," Yugi simply answered. He not really seeing a problem with it, but decided to quickly add, "He snores...loudly."

"Not like we hear it though," Atemu chuckled.

The brunette only stared at the other eighteen year old and his yami. He really didn't want to know all of this, but then it hit him...he was going to have to stay in the same bed as Grandpa. An old man! If Tristan were physically mutate with the abilities of a dog...then he'd have his tail in between his legs right now.

Later that night, after he had been kicked out of the tri-colored haired males room, he slowly shuffled down the hall towards the room of their elder. He hearing slight laughter from the closed door that was behind him. It bringing a slight whimper from him. Sure he didn't want to hear that, but he would rather be under their bed than in the same bed as an old man.

"We be burnin' not concernin' what nobody wanna say...We be earnin' dollars turning 'cause we mind de pon we pay...More than gold and oil and diamonds - girls, we need dem everyday...Recognize it, we pimpin' as we riding," he lightly sang to himself, yes...at the moment he had We be burnin' stuck in his head.

Slowly he walked inside the dark room, the sound of snoring could be heard, it was enough to send chills up his spine. He didn't want to do this...no one could make him do this.

The next thing he knew he was back in Seto Kaiba's mansion, his bed room to be exact. He having his bags with him of course. They were his gold after all. Before he could poke him he saw the twenty year old's mouth open to say something. Because Tristan's mother was a reporter, he learned at a young age that it is foolish to leave the house with out a tape recorder or video camera of some sort. So he whipped out his tape recorder, placing it close to the other's lips. Seto was indeed mumbling things...incriminating things...things that could ruin his reputation for the rest of his life and even in death. They were indeed, that bad.

"Hey Kaiba...do you mind if I stay here for a few weeks or something like that?" he quietly whispered to the sleeping male.

"Yeah, sure...whatever," he yawned as he turned over in his sleep, snuggling close to his pillow...trying to get comfortable.

This completely shocked Tristan, not the fact that he could stay, but the fact that Kaiba was actually sleeping like a person. He always secretly thought that he was a robot...yes a robot.

"Oh thanks," he smiled as he crawled in the bed with the other, "Hey Kaiba...um...could you move over alittle?"

"Sure," he said rather muffled like as he sleepily moved over so that Tristan could get comfortable.

"Hey Kaiba...could you get me a glass of water while you're at it?"

"Whatever," Seto answered as he sat up, hopping out of the bed, still asleep. Once he left the room, Tristan took his pillow, flipping it over to the other side. The cool side of the pillow. The CEO returned shortly with the glass of water, handing it to his "guest" before getting back in his spot, he not having a pillow to rest his head on. But he was so tired he didn't even notice.

"Yeah, I love sleep overs, Kaiba, don'tchu?"

"Mmhmm."

"Well, good night, Kaiba."

"Yeah...good night, Tristan."

After a few seconds Seto's eyes snapped open, he looking over at the other male sleeping beside him. He immediately kicking him out of the bed, Tristan's face hitting the hard wood floor with a thud.

"I be on it all night, man I be on it," Tristan rapped in a robotic like voice as he poked his head up, "All day straight up pimp...If you want me you can find me in da-"

"What the hell?" The other asked, he being caught off guard by the song, however soon remembered what he was about the say.

"Why are you in my house!" he growled, as he hopped out of his bed, switching on the light switch.

"Now Kaiba," Tristan began as he stood up, "Before you say anything-"

"GET OUT!"

The eighteen year old suddenly held up the tape recorder, pressing play. It was Seto Kaiba's voice saying, "Oh yeah, the things I want to do to him...I want to...to fu-" He pressing stop before the actual word was said.

"Yeah, Kaiba there's more," he smirked, "Now...you're going to let me stay here, and you're going to treat me like a guest, or my mom's company is going to get this tape."

"You're evil," the CEO hissed.

"What? My mom is a reporter, what do you expect?"

"Whatever...just get out of my room," Seto finally sighed, realizing that there was nothing he could really do at the moment. He had to figure out a plan though, there was no way he was going to be living with him, even if it were only for weeks. "Besides...there are plenty of other rooms in this place."

"Thanks Kaiba," he laughed as he walked out of the room with his bags, but had stuffed the tape recorder in his duffle bag before doing so.

Seto Kaiba couldn't help but slam the door behind Tristan Taylor. Hell was written all over this whole situation...and he knew that his summer wasn't going to be a good one.

Aoi: Okay people, I couldn't help but have a small parody to a Spongebob episode I saw. But anyways, tell me what you people think so far. Oh yeah, and please no flames.