Aoi: Oh god, I'm seriously insane from writing this story. But anyways, I'm just warning you again that this story has some sexual humor. Another point I need to make is that there are a few parodies in this Chapter. And many thanks to my readers for actually taking the time to read this story.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own "Yu-Gi-Oh!". I do NOT own "Cat Woman". I do NOT own "Spider-man". I do NOT own "Dodgeball: The story of a true underdog".I do NOT own "Austin Powers: The spy who shagged me". I do NOT own "Run it" by Chris Brown". I do NOT own "Real BIG" by Mannie Fresh. I do NOT own "the Remix to Ignition" by R. Kelly. I do NOT own "What's your fantasy" by Ludacris. BUT I DO OWN CHRIS, TRISTAN'S GOOD FRIEND. I DO OWN THE IDEA OF TRISTAN'S FAMILY. I DO OWN THE IDEA OF THIS STORY, I WOULD HIGHLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T TRY TO RIP ME OFF. IF YOU LIKE SOMETHING YOU SEE...PLEASE ASK FOR PERMISSION TO USE IT AND BE SURE TO GIVE ME CREDIT. Thank you.

House Guest

Chapter Two: Breaking in the house

"Okay...Check it, Check it, Check it out. It's Santana again," was whispered in Seto's ear as he slept, "Steppin, Steppin, Steppin out...One of them Brand new big boy toys." This causing the young adult to turn over his sleep, flicking his ear slightly to get rid of the annoyance. "I do big boy things, I make big boy noise cuz...I know what girls want..." This caused his eyes to snap open, he quickly turning over to see Tristan staring at him.

"What the fu-"

"Finally you're up, Kaiba," The other brunette interrupted, "Now get out of bed!"

"Why should I," the CEO sleepily whined, as he pulled the blanket over his head, his view on the clock. Then it hit him...this wasn't Mokuba he was talking to, this was TRISTAN TAYLOR. So the night before hadn't just been a bad dream. This guy was seriously staying with him, a horrified expression began to slip upon the face of the cowering brunette.

"Come on, Seto," Mokuba said as he peaked under the blanket at his big brother. The raven haired, thirteen year old had already been up many hours with Tristan. They having enough time to plot.

"Mokuba...you've got to do me a favor," he whispered, trying to keep his voice low enough so that his "house guest" wouldn't hear him.

"Huh?"

"I need you to find his tape recorder...it has something on it, that I can't risk getting out to the media."

"How bad could it actually be?"

"Trust me...it's bad."

"Fine, I'll keep an eye out for it, but anyways...we're going out."

"You and Tristan!"

"No! He's not gay...and I didn't mean like that anyways. Seriously Seto, you need to get this whole homo thing out of your system. But seriously we need to go to Kaiba corp."

This caused the older Kaiba to sit up, staring at his younger brother in disbelief. Was he actually saying what he thought he was saying? He was surprised he hadn't been begged to go somewhere more summer like. Hiking, fishing or swimming were only a few of the things that popped in the CEO's mind that the raven haired teen could've suggested.

"Are you feeling alright, Mokuba?"

"Never been better," Mokuba grinned, "Now get dressed."

While the two brothers had been talking to each other, Tristan had made his way over to Kaiba's closet, the doors flinging wide open to reveal the taller brunette's wardrobe. The next following seconds were probably filled with silence from him. He was speechless. What could he say?

Once the Kaiba brothers left the house, Seto believing it wasn't a good idea to leave their home alone with Tristan, the other brunette slammed the door behind them. For a moment, he had no idea of what to do. He had the whole place to himself, everything was going according to plan. In a quick motion he whipped out his list of things he'd always wanted to do inside of The Kaiba Manor. The number one thing up there was to break out in song dressed like a rich snob. "Now where on earth am I supposed to find snobby rich clothes?" There was no way he was going to shove himself into Seto's leather...he honestly didn't know why a person would even bother.

Moments later, Chris arrived, he staring at the size of the house. Tristan simply laughed as the two started running about the house, simply because they could do whatever they wanted...since it was up to them to keep an eye on the house. The first thing the brunette decided to do was let all of the servants go home...they didn't need to be here anyways, it wasn't like they were going to tear up the place.

"House real-BIG," Chris shouted down to Tristan from the top of the stairs.

"Cars real-BIG," the other shouted back from a door way that lead to where Seto had kept his most prized cars.

"Belly real-BIG" was shouted from the guest of the guest, who just happened to now be in the kitchen staring in the refrigerator.

"Everything real-BIG..."

When Seto and Mokuba finally returned home from work, they walked inside of the manor only to be completely shocked. What they saw caught them off guard on so many levels. Everything looked so...different. To the point it didn't even look like their home anymore, but more like the home of celebrity or someone along the lines of that. And not just any type of celebrity, but a gangster rapper. It was...different for the two Kaiba brothers.

"HEY KAIBA!" shouted down both the guests from at the top of the staircase, this causing their glance to be shifted towards the two. Mokuba's eyes had never been wider, sure he knew that Tristan was going to fix up the place...but like this?

"I see you were busy," the raven haired teen joked lightly as he started up towards the two. Once he actually facing the two, he tilted his head slightly at Chris. "So this is your friend? Chris is it," he asked as he held out his hand to the other, "I'm Mokuba Kaiba."

Tristan's friend only nodded as he shook the hand of the younger Kaiba, however he couldn't help but glance towards Seto. A few snickers sounding from him. This puzzled the younger brother greatly, he didn't understand what was so funny.

"Leather," the other brunette whispered to one of his hosts, "Chris didn't believe me when I told him that he wore leather."

"Wait, he doesn't know who Seto is...doesn't he watch TV? Doesn't he know about duels!"

"Never really cared," Chris simply answered, "It's all 'bout the races. Ya know the ones that technically aren't supposed to exist." A grin was left upon the face of the new friend.

"Wait...you mean the ones that are," Mokuba began, however quickly hushed himself to look around, before finally finishing, "Illegal? Drag races? Street races? Is that what you're talking about!"

Tristan and Chris were left speechless, the two actually looking frightened. "WHO TOLD YOU!" The brunette suddenly exclaimed.

"Isn't that what you were talking about?"

That question was followed by silence, the two didn't want Mokuba knowing about the races...even though they sort of already did. But they weren't going to admit, no...there was no way they were going to do that.

"Well I won't see you later," Tristan winked.

"Don'tchu wink at me," Chris snapped as he whacked the other upside his head, before leaving.

This whole thing left the younger Kaiba strangely suspicious. 'What the hell where they talking about?' he couldn't help but think to himself, as he watched Tristan retreat to his room. One thing was obvious...something was going to end up happening tonight, and he had to be there to see it.

"Seto," the younger Kaiba whined as he sat upon the bed of his older brother, watching him get dressed for bed, "They're planning something...I swear!"

"Sure Mokuba," he smirked as he pulled down his shirt into place, a slight yawn sounding from him.

"Doesn't this bother you?"

"Not really."

"Don't you want to find out what they're up to!"

Seto stared at his younger brother for a moment, moving towards him to ruffle his hair, "Did you ever think that you're just over reacting. Seriously Mokuba, there's no way that those two losers are in something as big as street racing. Besides, where are they going to get a car?"

"I dunno," the other replied as he sheepishly stared down at his hands, "Maybe you're right. I guess I just thought for once that things were really as they seemed."

In one of the guest rooms, Tristan stared at the clock, he was too excited. He simply couldn't wait. The eighteen year old had been trembling from excitement. It was all too unbearable, he just wanted to make time tick by faster...but unfortunately he hadn't learned to do that yet. Mokuba hadn't been wrong, he and Chris were planning to go to a street race, well...his friend was going to be in one. When the two were "improving" the house he had been telling him about the sport, and how you can win big money at the end...and how exciting it was. The only problem was that you had to bet your car, and one thing his friend didn't want to do was bet his own...that's where Tristan came in. His job was to take on of Seto's many cars, and bring it down to the track as proof they had it.

"Well, if you're not worried then I'm not worried," Mokuba grinned as he hugged his brother's body tightly, "Don't you like the way the house looks, Seto?"

"Not really," he flatly stated, "I don't even feel like it's my house...it makes me a bit uncomfortable."

"But could you end up liking it?"

"I don't think so."

"Oh...well, I'm sorry," the younger brother sighed, before leaving the room.

As the raven haired teen walked down the hall he couldn't help but scurry over to Tristan's door, he wanted to see for himself that it was nothing. Carefully he cracked it open to see that the house guest had already gone to sleep. 'Maybe he was right about Tristan.' So he shut the door and started walking towards his own bed room, before it actually hit him. There was something odd about the position Tristan had been sleeping in. In a dash he was back to the room, this time he actually going inside...making his way to the bed even.

Quietly he counted to three in his head before whipping the covers off of...Tristan. At that moment Mokuba Kaiba never felt so foolish...but, but there was no way that the person in the bed now was actually the same thing that was in the bed a few minutes ago...no way at all.

"No Mokuba, it's too cold," the brunette whined as he started whacking the younger Kaiba with his pillow.

"Gah, quit it," the other commanded as he dropped the covers so he'd be able to shield his face from the on coming pillow. "Tristan, I'm serious...stop it!"

"Get out, white boy," he suddenly commented as he snatched up the covers.

"White...boy? Whatever," the other huffed angrily before leaving the room. He didn't know how Tristan did it...but somehow he was one step ahead of him.

What actually happened to Tristan between the time that Mokuba left Seto's room and ripped the covers off of him:

Tristan had been so excited about going to the race that he had decided to just get dressed to go. But then he remembered the way Mokuba had been looking at him and Chris. He had those eyes...those eyes that just begged you to bring them with you. Oh how he couldn't resist those eyes...but deep down inside he knew that they couldn't bring the younger Kaiba. It angered him slightly that he would start to remember that small part of the day, but he couldn't let that get him down. NO, he had to stay excited.

Once he was actually dressed and ready to go, a tiny thought popped in his head. What if Mokuba came by to check up on him...since it was completely obvious he had wanted to attend from the start. That spelled out trouble in so many ways. It was up to Tristan to fool the thirteen year old...but how? With the oldest trick in the book of course. The ol' pillows under the blanket routine.

Right at the moment his door had been cracked open the first time, the brunette had been stooped down at the other side of the bed...the side farthest from the door. He holding in his laughter as the door had suddenly shut. Everything had been going according to plan. Now to carry out the last phase. So as quickly and quietly as he could he fixed his pillows, and pulled his night clothes over his other clothes. Ruffling up his hair even to make it look as if it had been messed up from sleeping of course. Then he positioned himself under the covers in the same manner that the pillows had been in. What a clever plan he had, and to think he came up with this whole thing just by remembering Mokuba's eyes. The way they kept staring at him.

The next step he had to carry out...was the sleeping step. He had to be completely quiet, slowing down his breathing even to make it seem more believable that he had been sleeping. It was only a matter of seconds till the other Kaiba was expected to come through the door. Once his eye lids finally relaxed to the point it didn't look like he was faking, the younger Kaiba snuck into the room. He just listened slightly to the sounds of the intruder's footsteps as they neared his bed. It was just taking all the strength inside of him to keep from laughing. Then the covers were whipped off, the brunette knew he was supposed to curl up from the cold. But then he remembered something, he was only wearing his night clothes over his other clothes...so it might've looked weird if Mokuba actually took the time to look him over. So he quickly picked up his pillow to whack the other out of the room, before he noticed anything incriminating.

However the intruder didn't leave, but Tristan already suspected that this would happen. After all who actually leaves because someone whacks them. He could only think of a hand full of people...but one things for sure, Mokuba wasn't on that list. So he decided to add something else. Confusion. At the moment the covers were dropped, he had quickly snatched them up. His first mission was complete...to keep the other from noticing his clothes. But how to confuse him. He had to think back for this. In these few seconds Tristan Taylor had a flash back.

Flash back

Joey suddenly walked past him, inside of the building as he thought to himself. After a few seconds, the blonde poked his head out.

"Tristan?"

"Shh, shh white boy, I'm figuring out a way to be tactful," Tristan had explained.

"White...boy? Tristan, you sure you got ya head on straight?" the other eighteen year old asked as he lightly scratched his head, "Well, you comin' inside?"

End flash back

For some strange reason, him calling people 'white boy' confused them...leaving them utterly speechless. It was just the thing he needed, but he had to add to it. He had to add an action...to trick his mind into completing. It was weird, it seemed if you insulted someone with a name they really didn't understand and didn't add an action to it...they would just stand there and stare...or try to beat you up. But if you added an action, there was a high chance that they would complete it. (I am not suggesting that anyone try this...I am simply making this whole crazy thing up as I go.) That being the reason Tristan added "Get out". The moment he said those words...he quickly added the phrase of confusion that he had learned from his friend Chris. It seemed he learned a lot of things from him over the few hours he had spent with him. He even learned words he wasn't aloud to say, and which ones he could. To Tristan...Chris was very wise, he was like a Budah, Yoda...or someone like that.

After this plan had been completed, he waited for the younger Kaiba to leave angrily. Oh yes, he was so smart. Another thing Chris had taught him was to stay one step ahead of your opponent...and that's what he did today.

The brunette quickly hopped out of his bed so that he could shut the door behind the Kaiba. He couldn't believe his plan actually worked, it was amazing. There was no way he could ever explain to his friends what he did a few seconds ago...he figured they wouldn't have been able to follow. After giving it some thought, he didn't think his friends really thought of him as being smart, except for Joey. It was as if Joey and Chris were the only ones who truly understood him. Moments like these made him wish that his blonde friend wasn't out of town, he knew that he would've enjoyed staying in Kaiba's house more than him. Tristan always wanted to see Joey's skills at tormenting Seto up close...and now was the perfect time for him to.

After giving all of this thought, he simply shrugged it off, that's life. In a quick motion he snatched off his night clothes, revealing the clothes he had put on earlier. It was almost time. He just had one more task to complete.

Quietly the male poked his head out of his room, looking down the halls...trying to catch sight of anyone. Perfect, no one was around. So he quickly tip toes over towards Seto's room, his eyes shifting slightly before turning the nob. His glance shifted slightly inside of the room, to see that the CEO had already been asleep, yes...yet another one of his plans were going smoothly.

It only took him a few seconds to actually get to the bedside of the other, he looking down at the brunette. The fact that he slept still slightly creeped Tristan out. No one was going to possibly believe this, that's why he suddenly pulled out his camera. Making sure to take off the flash, but moments before pressing the button...something occurred to him. Camera's make a very loud annoying sound right after they take pictures. Sure it only lasts for a few seconds...but it was still a sound.

This thought caused him to quickly place the camera back into the pocket of his jacket, replacing it with his camera phone. 'Much better,' he thought to himself as he quickly took a few pictures. To him...these snapshots were worth more than gold, plus now he had something to rub in Tea's face. He actually had pictures of Seto sleeping and she, who had been stalking him for years, didn't have anything. Well...at least he thought she didn't have anything.

Now to complete phase two. Tristan then pulled out a CD player to place underneath the bed of the CEO. This was going to be the best prank of all. He was going to play a song so quietly that he didn't even realize it was playing...then when he woke up it'd be stuck in his head. The perfect torture. Now to figure out what song to use. The male pulled the duffle bag, which had been slung over his shoulder the entire time, off onto the floor. Quietly he zipped it open, removing his cd case, opening it to expose the cd's within. Now he needed a song that would be funny to hear the orderly brunette muttering to himself, or at least humming. And what better song to play than an extremely dirty one, one that will leave him with perverted thoughts for days to come. That's the reason he put in his Ludacris CD, and turned it "What's your Fantasy". An evil grin upon the other's face as he pressed 'repeat'.

The CD started quietly playing, "I wanna li li li lick you from your head to your toes...And I wanna, move from the bed, down to the, down to the to the floor...And I wanna ah, ah, you make it so good I don't wanna leave...But I got to, let let me know wh- what's your fant-tasy" But that was only the chorus to the song. The entire song basically consisted of him telling the woman all or his fantasies of where he had wanted to have sex. Examples such as "On the beach with black sand, lick up your thigh then call me the pac man", "You in the bath tub with the candles lit you give it up till they go out" or even yet, "In the white house, tryna make them turn the lights out...champagne with my campaign, let me do the damn thang."

After the dastardly deed had been done, Tristan got up to leave the room, taking his duffle bag with him of course. Now it was off to the race, but first thing was first...he needed keys. But where on earth would Seto keep his keeps? Well since the brunette had already proven the night before that the CEO indeed talked in his sleep, he tip toed back over to the bed side. Trying his hardest not to laugh at the song that had been playing quietly.

"Hey Kaiba," he whispered, "Where do you keep the keys to your cars?"

Seto simply mumbled something before turning over, bringing his pillow closer to him...licking his lips slightly. Tristan blinked slightly at this, more scared than confused, but he couldn't let that stop him, he had a mission to complete.

"Kaiba..." he repeated as he prodded his shoulder, "Where do you keep the keys?"

"In a case," he mumbled, before lightly biting at his pillow.

'Please be dreaming about anyone, anyone else in the world except for me,' Tristan pleaded in his head before asking, "And where is this case?"

"In my office."

Once that statement had been said the brunette dashed out of there, not wanting to spend another second in there. The fact that Seto was human enough to get turned on...scared him more than Tea ever having a guy who liked her...it just wasn't right. It wasn't right at all.

It took him about ten minutes to finally find the office of Seto Kaiba. He would've found it a lot faster if he didn't have to be quiet and if there weren't so many rooms. It didn't make since to the brunette why would two brothers need such a big house, it wasn't like threw parties or had people over. To him it looked as if they were just trying to rub it in the faces of others that their house was bigger than everyone else's.

"So this is Kaiba's personal office," he commented to himself as he looked around for a key to the case, "Maybe I should've stuck around to ask where that was too...but there's no way, no way at all I'm going back in his room. I mean, there's no telling what he's going to be doing next."

Moments later Tristan was back in the office, he looking very terrified, he had witnessed a very terrifying thing that day, but at the same time he looked relieved. At one point of time Kaiba told him to go away, which meant that in the dream he had been interrupting something rather than being apart of it. This made him feel a little better, only a little.

The brunette simply walked over towards the mighty desk which was placed nearest the window, he taking a seat behind it. After taking one great spin he reached down and opened one of the drawers, removing a folder. Once this folder was in his hand it was only a matter of seconds before he snatched the key which happened to be inside of it. Such joy appeared in the eyes of Tristan Taylor as he stared at the key which he held up proudly.

Never before in one night had so many plans worked, Tristan felt so happy as he sat in the seat of one of the cars which had been parked in the underground garage. As he held tightly onto the key, he couldn't help but sing lightly to himself, "No more hopin' and wishin'. I'm about to take my key 'n' Stick it in da ignition." And that's just what he did, causing the car to start up. Everything was beginning to look more clearer as he drove the car away from the house...it was he who was now in control.

Tristan had freedom, and according to Cat Woman "Freedom is Power". But then again according to Spider Man and Uncle Ben, "With great power comes great responsibility." He had never been more confused. 'So does Freedom equal Responsibility,' he pondered to himself, 'But what if power is freedom from responsibility.'

During that drive, as he thought over movies he had seen, trying to figure out if what he was doing was truly the best thing...a voice started to talking to him.

"Is somebody there!" he quickly asked himself.

"Somebody?" the voice mimicked.

"Who are you?" Tristan couldn't help but ask, it was odd...but he could've sworn he had seen this conversation somewhere before.

"Don't play the innocent with ME - you've known all along!"

"Where are you?"

"Follow the cold shiver running down your spine..."

"But I don't have-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND FOLLOW THE SHIVER!"

So Tristan looked about in the car as he was driving, however tried his hardest to keep his eyes on the dark road at the same time. But it seemed that he couldn't think of anymore places that the person could be. " I'm right HERE!" the voice hissed from the mirror, Tristan shocked to see it was his own reflection.

"I don't understand..."

"You thought it was just coincidence - so many good things happening for you, over you, eh, Tristan?"

"No seriously, I don't understand...last time I checked I didn't have an evil spirit living inside of me."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WONDERING WHAT IT IS I WANT!"

"Okay...what do you want?"

"To do what you can't, to say what you won't - to remove those in your way..."

"But that's the thing, I do whatever I want...I say whatever I want, and no one's in my way."

"The Seto Kaiba thing...WE did that."

"WE!?"

"Remember that feeling you get when you're inside of that house?"

"Freedom..." he answered as he continued to drive, it seemed he was on auto-pilot or something to keep him from crashing.

"Bingo! Me - your greatest creation, granting you what you always wanted: power beyond your wildest dreams. There is only one who could stop us - or imagine if he should join us..."

"What Kaiba? Nah, I don't think he'd seriously try to stop me..."

"YOU MUST GET HIM TO JOIN US! I'M YOUR NEW BOSS, TRISTAN!"

"You can't be my boss! Nobody's my boss! I'm my own boss! I created myself!" Tristan shouted as he looked away from the mirror to continue driving. An angry expression still upon his face as he stared into the darkness of the road.

"But-"

Tristan suddenly whipped out a cross, holding it up to the mirror. "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"

And with that his reflection returned to normal, the car swerving slightly at the fact that Tristan had taken his full attention off the road...however he quickly gained control of the car once more. He retreating the cross back to his pocket. The same pocket that contained his camera, camera phone...and other few knickknacks.

Aoi: Okay, maybe I had...too many parodies in that chapter. XD, who knows. This story is basically allowing me to get out all the jokes I've ever really wanted to. So if you're reading this right now...I thank you. You honestly don't know how happy you're making me right now. But seriously...review. I love to hear from you guys. It helps me get a little in touch with my readers, and lets me know that you guys aren't just taking on glance at my story then turning away. So here's me again saying...review.