A/n: Wow, update. Yay for new chapter. This one is angst at it's best. Yay. I just came back from a Halloween party. I was a Slytherin student. It was amazing. Anyway, Happy Halloween.

To the reviewers: T. Riddle- School sucks, doesn't it? Thanks for your nice comments.

Kurama'sFoxyKitsune- I was having a bad day and then I read your review and it made me smile. You are the best. I love your support. Thanks so much.

Phabandphat- Jason Issacs is god. He is perfect as Lucius, I agree.

Hate's Just a Word

Chapter EIGHTEEN: Reunited

The two stared at each other. The conversation between Bellatrix and Narcissa seemed far away and very unimportant at that moment in time. Draco was in utter disbelief. What was Lindsay doing in his living room?

"Who's this?" Bellatrix asked, suddenly. The two snapped back to reality. Lindsay looked from Draco to Bellatrix. She immediately did not like her, but didn't say anything.

"This is—" Lucius started.

"My name is Lindsay Caldwell," Lindsay quickly said so that Lucius would not go on about how her family were the blood-traitors and she would end up dead. "You must be Bellatrix Lestragne. I've heard loads about you from Draco. Says that you're his favorite aunt. I must say, I respect your work as a Death Eater."

Draco looked extremely confused and bewildered. Bellatrix's expression twisted into a smile.

"I'm glad you've heard of me," She said. That whole family was conceited and self-centered. She gave a hard pat on Draco's back. "You're a wonderful nephew." She looked back at Lindsay. "You friends with Draco?"

"Oh, yeah. We used to go around the school and torture mudbloods for fun," Lindsay said with tons of emphasize. Draco seemed even more confused and surprised. He couldn't believe she said 'mudblood' the way she did. It didn't end there. "I heard you were there when Dumbledore was killed. You've got to tell me all about it. I wish I could have seen the look on the old man's face."

Draco's jaw dropped and the look on his face was similar to one of a deer staring down headlights. Lindsay was trying to get the point across that she was supposed to be bad. Draco hopefully got it. He was in shock, mostly, because she had said those things.

"Ooh, I like this once, Lucius," Bellatrix said. "Where'd you find her?"

"She was wandering in the house. She says she doesn't know how she got here," Lucius said. "But I think she will be staying for a while."

"She reminds me of myself at that age," Bellatrix said to herself, mostly. Lindsay wanted to show all signs of disgust, but just remained silent.

"Oh, Draco," Lindsay said. "You're looking kind of pale."

She approached him and leaned over. In a very soft, soft whisper, she said, "We'll talk later. Play along…"

She leaned back and looked at him. He still looked in shock.

"So, how'd you end up here?" He asked her.

"Oh, I don't know," She replied. "Just woke up in the dungeons, and had no idea where I was. Luckily, your father found me."

Draco started to mouth words. 'Does he know?'

'LATER' Lindsay mouthed back as clearly as she could. Lucius, Narcissa, and Bellatrix engaged in some conversation about the Dark Lord and Snape, but Lindsay was no longer listening. She and Draco were staring at each other.

"Draco, honey, show Lindsay to one of the guest rooms," Narcissa said. The two stopped staring at each other and looked at Draco's mother.

"Am I guest now, Mr. Malfoy?" Lindsay asked.

"We will treat you as a guest for now, but you are still being held against your will as far as I'm concerned," Lucius replied. "There's still more I want to find out. As for now, there are more pressing issues."

She gave a nod.

"Oh, and don't try to Apparate or Disapparate anywhere. You can't unless you're part of the Malfoy family," Lucius said. 'Well, that option's out…'

Just a few moments later, she was following Draco Malfoy to a different part of the mansion. He led her upstairs, and into a long hallway of many doors. He pointed to the first one.

"That's my parents' room."

He started to walk along and she followed. He pointed to another door.

"That's my room."

They walked just a few meters further and stopped at another door.

"This is your guest room," Draco said. He walked up to it, opened the door. She went inside the room and looked around. There was a lot of green and black. The room was plain, but quite big. A bed, a dresser, a bureau with a mirror, a wardrobe, and a table. Draco entered the room and closed the door behind him. He cleared his throat loudly, and she turned around. He had his wand out and it was aimed at her.

"Okay," Draco said. Lindsay's eyes were on the wand. "Let's talk. Who are you and what have you done with the real Lindsay?"

She laughed. "I am the real one. Come on. Remember the time we went torturing the mudbloods?"

He did not find this amusing. "Okay, I'm going to give you one more chance to answer my question. Who are you and what have you done with the real Lindsay?"

"Draco, I am the real Lindsay," She said. He frowned.

"Prove it," Draco said. "Tell me something only you would know about me."

She sighed. "Okay, then. You went crying to Myrtle whenever the bloody hell you felt like."

"Everyone knows about Myrtle. You could have heard," Draco said.

"Fine. You get really angry whenever anyone insults your mother or father," Lindsay said.

"Anybody would," Draco said.

"I wouldn't," She said, crossing her arms. Draco stared, studying her, and then finally lowered his wand.

"That's true," He said. "So, why are you here?"

Lindsay reached into her pocket, and pulled out her wand. She pointed it at the door. "Muffliato."

"Good, now, no one will over hear us," She said as she pocketed the wand. She went and sat down on the bed. Draco took a seat in the chair that was next to the bureau. "I think, we need to go back to last night. For the first time in God knows how long, I was able to fall asleep peacefully. Yet, a couple of hours later, I was awoken by the shrieking and panicking Lavender and Pavarti. They said something about the Dark Mark and Death Eaters. I knew it had to be you. So, I came to find you in my pajamas, mind you. The next thing you know, I was stunned. When I woke up, I was here in a cell down in your basement in different clothes. I kind of wandered the house, and then I was cornered by your dear father. He recognized me and was ready to kill me. So, I decided that if I was exactly like him, how could he kill me? So, I fed him crap about 'mudbloods', 'muggles', and sucked up to him the best way I knew how. I told him good things about you and how I hated Dumbledore and Harry. He decided to let me live."

She paused and looked at Draco. He was trying to avoid eye contact, and so, she continued the story. "Your mother came and told us that Snape killed Dumbledore. You were supposed to do it, and she was worried that Voldemort…"

Draco winced. She looked at him for a second and rolled her eyes. "Excuse my language. She was worried that the Dark Lord was going to kill you. He obviously didn't. So, here we are…"

Draco was very quiet.

"I want to leave, but there's no apparition allowed in the house for me…" Lindsay muttered. "If only I could find the bastard who stunned me…"

Draco made a quiet noise. Lindsay looked at him.

"I stunned you," He said, quietly, and this time, he made eye contact. "You were always better at dueling, so I stunned you so you wouldn't get in the way. With the help of another Death Eater, we transfigured your clothes. And then I had other things to do—" Lindsay coughed and it sounded oddly like 'Kill Dumbledore'. "—so, I asked this Death Eater to take you somewhere safe so you wouldn't get here. I never in a million years meant here, but I guess the stupid Death Eater thought that this was safe enough. A closet would have been fine…"

She stared at Draco for the longest time. They did not speak or move.

"So, do you hate me?" Draco asked, softly. Lindsay stared at him. In her mind, she wanted to scream at him. 'How could you ask that question! You tried to kill Dumbledore! You're the reason I'm stuck here. You're the reason I have to be someone I'm not. You're the reason why I have to act like I'm Lucius or Bellatrix. They were right about you. You're evil. I bet you laughed when he died! I hate you! I HATE YOU!'

She did not say any of that. She glanced down at her lap, and her ring gleamed. That ring…

"I don't know," Lindsay said, quietly.

"Okay, I understand," Draco said. He stood up and looked at her. "You're the last person I want hating me, but if you do, then you do. I'm not going to hold it against you. I'm not going to tell them what you're really like. I'll play along. I don't want you to die. Just please don't shut me out."

She stood up and walked over to him. She stood only inches in front of him and looked him in the eye. His eyes were tired. He hadn't slept in days or something like that. His skin was extra pale. His hair hung messily from his head. He looked extremely tired, and it was kind of sad.

"Draco," Lindsay said, quietly, but sternly. "I want you to tell me everything that happened."

Draco's eyes widened in horror and he backed away, hitting the bureau as he did so.

"No," He said, shaking his head. "No, I'm not going to tell you."

"You are. You're going to tell me everything that happened. Everything you did, everything you said."

"No, I don't want you to hear any of it. I don't want you to hate me more than you already do."

"Too bad. I want to hear it. I think for once, I deserve to hear the truth."

The two stared at each other for a long while. They were silent. Finally, Draco let out a sigh. He grabbed the chair, and pushed it out of his way. He leaned against the bureau and looked down at the floor.

"For the longest time, I've been trying to repair a certain closet in Hogwarts. Warrington was stuck in it a while, and that's when I found out that it was a pair. The other being in Borgin and Burkes, a store in Knockturn Alley…"

He started to tell her all that he had been doing, and had been using the Room of the Requirement for more than snogging. He told her when he finally got it fixed, and how he found the right time to bring the Death Eaters into the school. "I had Madam Rosmerta under the Imperious Curse, and we—" Then, he started to go into detail about the previous night…the night Dumbledore died. He told her how he finally confronted Dumbledore. He repeated their conversation almost word for word. It was sickening to hear, but she didn't say anything. He said it so remorselessly. He didn't hold back when he told her that he laughed and called him these things. The only thing that was keeping her calm was the fact that he didn't kill Dumbledore. He couldn't do it. Snape was the one who killed Dumbledore.

It turned silent. Lindsay could no longer suppress the emotions anymore. Tears started to flow from her eyes, and she made no sounds. Finally, she took out her wand and pointed it at Draco. She could tell the whole incident troubled him. What he needed was someone to be there for him… He had no one, and she couldn't do it. She saw what he needed, but she couldn't do it.

"Get out," She growled, pointing her wand at him. He just looked at her.

"So, you really do hate me?" He asked, softly. His voice was kind of quivering and he looked kind of sad.

"Just get out," She said, once again. He turned and left the room, closing the door. She let out a frustrated sigh, and laid down on the bed, stomach first. She buried her head under the pillow. She didn't hate Draco like she should have. She wanted to hate him, but she couldn't. She hated his Dark Lord and she hated his family for making him that way. She hated them all, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't hate dear Draco. She sobbed and cried for a little while, but realized she couldn't do it anymore. Not while she was in this house. She stopped crying and turned over. She looked up at the ceiling and stared for the longest time. It seemed that everything was surreal and nothing mattered anymore. Dumbledore's dead… There would be no more Hogwarts. This was a victory for the evil side, but she couldn't show that she cared. She had to be just like them…

She didn't know how much longer later, but she heard a knock on her door. She sat up as the door handle turned. Narcissa Malfoy stood at the doorway.

"Lucius requests that I help you get ready for dinner," Narcissa said. "In a Malfoy house, we dress nicely for dinner."

"Even in such…circumstances?" Lindsay asked.

"The ministry will not find us," Narcissa assured. "They don't know this place exists. It's unplottable and only findable to those who already know where it is. Now, Lucius asked me to provide you with clothes."

Lindsay gave a nod and got up. She followed Narcissa out of the room. They walked down the hallway, and stopped at one of the doors. Narcissa opened it to reveal one of the largest closets Lindsay had ever seen. They entered the room. A majority of the clothes were green and black. There was a good amount of red as well. Narcissa went over and picked out a black dress. She handed it to Lindsay, who reluctantly changed into it. She hated the dress, mostly because it was in this house, which she also hated. She hated all the Malfoys. She hated everything at the moment.

"It looks lovely, dear," Narcissa assured, as Lindsay stared in the mirror. She then started to make conversation, which Lindsay absolutely did not want to participate in, but ultimately, had no choice. "You're one of Draco's friends. Tell me, does he seem a little off to you? He's lucky, you know. The Dark Lord could have killed him. He didn't do his job."

"Well, the Dark Lord is very forgiving. I'm sure Draco is fine. He must be thinking about last night, that's all. He wish he could have done Dumbledore in, but he's learned for next time."

"Oh, I hope so. I think Draco's too young for this. Sixteen, well just turned seventeen… But, the Dark Lord has found use for my son. I wish I could be more proud, but I don't want to have to worry about his life as well as my husband."

Lindsay tried not to roll her eyes or even puke. She hated Narcissa's high-pitched voice and she hated pretending that she actually cared. "Don't worry as much, Mrs. Malfoy. You have your husband and your son, alive and well."

Narcissa seemed surprised that this girl was actually kind of comforting.

"You'll make a good wife, someday. I can tell," Narcissa said. Lindsay would have frowned, but she was looking into a mirror and that woman would see. "Now, come on along. Lucius expects us for dinner."

Lindsay followed Narcissa out of the room. They walked down the hallway and down the stairs. After walking through about a million more rooms, they reached the dining room. Lucius and Bellatrix were seated and in a conversation. Draco was resting his head on his propped up hand. He was obviously bored. Narcissa took a seat next to Bellatrix and Lindsay sat in the seat next to Draco, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Ah, we can start now," Lucius said. Lindsay half-expected some random 'let's thank the dark lord for food', but that didn't happen. A few moments later, house elves appeared with food and put it on the table. The three adults started to eat. Draco reluctantly got food and started to poke at it with his fork. Lindsay didn't want to eat, but she grabbed her fork, and forced the food into her mouth. She forced herself to chew it and then swallow it. 'Appearances…appearances… must stay alive…'

"So, Draco, are you friends with Miss Lindsay Caldwell?" Bellatrix asked. Draco looked over at her. He finally came out of his daze.

"Oh, yeah. We're good friends," He said, quietly. "Don't think I've ever seen someone who's hate for mudbloods matches ours."

"That's quite refreshing," Bellatrix said. "There are very few purebloods left… It's quite sad to see how many of them decide to actually associate with muggles."

She started to go on forever about that and Lucius and Narcissa would sometimes interject comments of agreement and addition. Lindsay tuned out a long time ago, and forced herself to eat. She looked over at Draco, who was staring at his food, and poking it with his fork.

"Aren't you hungry?" Lindsay whispered to him. He looked over at her, surprised that she was actually talking to him. He shook his head.

"No."

Lindsay shrugged, although she had no appetite herself. She continued to force food into her body. Draco didn't even bother. As the adults engaged in conversation, he took out his wand, whispered a spell, and all the food disappeared.

"Well, I'm done," Draco said, loudly. The three turned and looked at him. "I'm going to go to bed early. I've had an exhausting day and no sleep…"

"Very well, honey," Narcissa said. Lindsay tried to hide her look of disbelief. How could he leave her alone with these three? They watched him leave.

"He's acting so different," Narcissa said, after he was gone. "I'm worried about him."

"Oh, nothing to be worried about, Cissy. We're all like that at first. He's just not used to everything yet. He's just sad that he wasn't able to serve the Dark Lord fully," Bellatrix said. Lindsay held back a laugh. She doubted that was anything close to what he was actually thinking or feeling.

"Oh, I'm not sure…"

"Draco's a strong boy. He's fine," Lucius said, even though he had doubts about the abilities of his son.

"Will you talk to him?" Narcissa suddenly asked Lindsay. She looked at them. "I'm sure he'll listen to you. You're his friend."

"Of course, Mrs. Malfoy. I'll talk to Draco," Lindsay said with fake emphasize. She accepted the answer and went back talking to her husband and sister. Lindsay was able to use the same spell as Draco, and excused herself from the table. She wasn't sure if she was going to talk to Draco or not. She still had her feelings of anger at him, but at the same time, she wanted to talk to him. She walked up to the hallway of rooms. She walked past his parents' room, and then stopped at his. She stared at the door. 'Should I talk to him now…?' She wondered as she stared at the door. She raised her fist and started to knock on the door. She waited. A few moments later, Draco opened the door. He stared, slightly surprised to see her.

"What do you want?" He asked, bitterly. She stared, and tried hard not to lose her temper.

"Your mother asked me to talk to you," Lindsay said, calmly.

"Alright, I'll tell her with had a nice conversation," Draco said. He motioned to close the door again. Lindsay stuck her hand out, and held it open.

"You're lucky. The rest of them don't really notice how you're feeling. Your mother does and it'll only be a matter of time before the rest of them figure out what's bothering you."

"Good for them," Draco muttered.

"Now is not the time to be a rebellious teen," Lindsay said, sharply and suddenly. "Not when you're a Death Eater and working for your Dark Lord. I know you're dealing with certain feelings, but you can't go around brooding and being conflicted. You have to put on an act. Don't give them the chance to suspect you."

Draco stared at Lindsay for a while.

"And what do you care about me?" Draco asked, coldly. "You hate me, right?"

She stared at him, trying to keep calm. She couldn't lose her temper. It didn't work. She pulled out her wand and pointed it at him.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that," She snapped. "I don't want any of your crap. Oh no, you didn't kill Dumbledore. Oh no, you failed. You're still alive. Shut up and get on with life. I hate that—but I don't hate—" She started to think about it all. Dumbledore was dead… Draco was supposed to do it. Did it have to be like this? Could it have been different? Maybe if she was there for him. She never really was there, was she? Since the beginning, she made it clear that they were on different sides. And even though she cared so much, she still made the distinctions for what sides they were on. If only Draco didn't have to confide with ghost. If only he had someone there for him… like she was supposed to be. If she had tried harder, maybe, she could have helped him. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. He might have accepted Dumbledore's offer, knowing there was something there for him. She could have helped him. It didn't have to be this way…

Before she could stop herself, she was suddenly crying again. Everything had turned so dark so fast. She couldn't handle living in darkness, but Draco had been doing it for so long. She was the only thing that made him smile, but she ruined it and ruined him. Draco stared, taken aback. He suddenly took her hand and pulled her into the room. He closed the door with his wand, and sat her down on the bed. He sat down next to her, unable to look directly at her. She remembered how he could not handle her when she cried. He put his hand on her shoulder, lightly, and unsurely. She put her head in her hands and cried more.

"You know, you're the only person who really understands me," Draco said, softly, as she cried. "As weird as it sounds, I look up to you. You stand up for your beliefs. You were always strong and not afraid of anything. I hate to see you like this because the person who I think is strong can be weak sometimes. I know that I have some blame in this... It's unbearable to have the person I can talk to here, but hating me. I knew you would hate me. I didn't think I'd ever see you again, but you're here, and that makes everything so much harder."

Lindsay wiped her eyes and looked over at Draco. "Draco, look at me. I'm a mess. I hate myself right now. I blew off all of my beliefs in order to stay alive. I've lied over and over again to these people. I hate them, but I hate myself even more. I didn't stand up for what I believe in. I gave into my fear. I didn't want to die…" She stopped and looked away from Draco. "I hate myself because I can't hate you. I want to… but I can't. I shouldn't be alive, but I am. I need to make my existence worthwhile. I need to do something while I'm here… or I need to leave."

She looked back at him.

"I'll help you, of course," He said, quietly.

"No," She said, sharply. "You can't. I don't want you risking your life to help me."

"If that's how I want to risk my life, that's what I'm going to do."

"No, it's not. You're not dying over something stupid like an escape mission," Lindsay argued. Draco opened his mouth to speak, but changed his mind. He didn't agree with her, but there was no use arguing with her.

"Well, Apparition is out. You either must have a Dark Mark or have Malfoy blood…"

"Any other ways?"

"You'll have to get out of the boundaries of this property, and my father owns a lot of this land. He'll never let you go out. He wants to keep you in…"

"I wish I knew why…" Lindsay said, quietly. He looked at her.

"Well, you have to be careful around him, okay? He's a dangerous man. He has something in mind. He's going to want you to do something eventually or he would have killed you already," Draco said. "So, just watch out."

"Yeah, okay," She said. She wiped her eyes once more and stood up. She walked towards the door and turned to look at him. "I'll see you later, I guess."

"Yeah," He said, quietly. She opened the door, left, and closed it. She walked back to the guest room, and stayed there for the rest of the night. Luckily, Lucius and Narcissa did not decide to pop in and visit. She didn't sleep of course. She changed back into other clothes from that stupid dress, and laid down on the bed. She couldn't sleep. She was mostly afraid that Lucius would come and kill her while she was sleeping, although that was unlikely. He seemed to like dramatic things. Thinking was what Lindsay did the whole night. There was a lot to think about. She decided what she was going to do. She felt a lot of guilt for being alive… There were a lot of people out there who would have traded in their lives to stand up to what they believed in. She didn't, and so she wasn't going to waste her life. She was living with Death Eaters. She would act like she was one of them. She would respect them and gain their trust. She would learn all about them and the Dark Lord, and then she would reveal it all to their enemies. She might as well do something useful while she was in the enemy's home. The problem was Draco. It wouldn't be long before he figured out her intentions. She had to keep them hidden as long as she could. She couldn't risk him finding out. She didn't want him to tell them… He was on their side after all…