Series: Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: OOC-ness, blood, possible implied yaoi, parenthesis, it's unedited, melodrama and major plot holes.
Summary: Trust is betrayed. Someone dies. Tsunade is upset. Jiraiya doesn't comfort. (possible NaruSasu) (slightly AU)
Author: Mewling
Title: Empty Comfort
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Empty Comfort
by mewling
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Tsunade's hands, for all that they're calloused and the fingernails are short and worn, are still the hands of a twenty year old. The flesh is plump and pliant (soft, too), the joints fluid and smooth. They're hands that have saved almost as many as they have killed, in a weird, morbid sort of balance.
Still, the fingernails are painted (they never used to be so blood red). Jiraiya thinks that these oddly vain and childish things Tsunade does are funny. He doesn't really understand; he probably never will. He watches Tsunade attempt to rub some of the blood off the face of the young boy, her hands equally drenched, and it's almost laughable.
Jiraiya had been there when he died.
He wonders if it counts as humouring her as he lets her fuss over him and murmur under her breath things no mortal could hear (that's probably her intention). Jiraiya, at least, doesn't need to worry about her going mad. Because, as he joked (at a time like this, even) to Shizune about an hour earlier, that happened a long time ago.
The funny thing (ironic, even), really is that the day is a really beautiful, clear autumn one. There's no dramatic backdrop of Thundering Rain, or Ominous Dark Clouds. There's just a hysterically sobbing woman against the blue sky and clear sun that shines through the open window.
Howls of pain (so sickening). He was human too, you know.
Tsunade loves all her villagers so much, like a mother. Even so, wasn't this over reacting (just one death)? Was this so bad, because of a betrayal of trust? Wanting to believe again, but being dishonoured?
The bed the boy's in is aggressively (almost blinding) clean. The dainty lace trim of the sheet contrasts, tucked up high to the chin (hiding a wound, no doubt) comically with the boy's fiercely masculine countenance. Jiraiya, who is far from a child (in body, at least), doesn't point this out. Tsunade's probably pretending the boy's just asleep, in colour changing sheets.
Arteries and veins, blood leaking down, wounded faster than he could heal.
It's been a long while, but the medics have finally stopped calling through the door, asking to take the body to the morticians. Tsunade doesn't deal with grief, with loss, very well at all (to make an understatement). Jiraiya had the time it took to bring the body back to deal the fact (and it hurts a lot, but he's he funny one, right?) whereas Tsunade can't deal with death even decades after the body is crispy flakes and shards of bone in a little urn (which is horrible thing to think, but it's true).
Jiraiya doesn't attempt to wipe away the tears which are dripping from Tsunade's eyes, nor does he try to touch the trembling hand that frantically smoothes the child's hair down. They've known each other too long, and he has too much respect (fifth hokage, even) for her to insult Tsunade with his empty comfort. After all, no one can really understand another person's pain.
When he looks at the corpse, it's one face he sees, not three.
But he can't forget the sight of her hands, digging through the ruptured flesh of his chest, picking out the bloody necklace embedded there from a horrible blow.
Jiraiya remembers that blow, sending the boy flying through five trees.
"You promised! You liar! Liar liar liar liar LIAR!"
The boy is dead before he hits the ground.
He leaves before Tsunade takes her anger out on the nearing moving thing (him). He unlocks the door and shuts it behind him. Tsunade's cries are now muffled. Something breaks against the door as it shuts behind him. It sounds heavy. And expensive.
Jiraiya pinches the bridge of his nose (some things never change, huh), feeling all his years like lead weights on his shoulders. He doesn't need to look to know who's there, leaning against the wall beside the door. Listening to Tsunade.
"She'll never forgive you, you know."
A heavy sigh. "I know…"
There is a pause. The silence that would have been there is filled instead with Tsunade's anguish. She's saying never again.
"…never…" echoes the voice beside him. A dismal tone.
Jiraiya breaks off his gaze out the window and glances at the boy; his body is hunched like a child (that's what he is really) that expects to be hit. Jiraiya notices, with mild disgust, he hasn't bothered to clean his hands (or doesn't want to). Feeling his eyes on him, the boy's shoulders curve even more.
"Why did you disobey her? She said, under no circumstances were you to…"
His head snaps up, and he levers himself off the wall. "Don't you think I know that? He was out of control. What else was I supposed to do?" The boy is pacing now, agitated and angry. His hands (sticky with congealed blood) are trembling as he pushes his bangs out of his eyes. "I didn't want to do it! Fuck, you were there, Jiraiya. You saw what happened."
Jiraiya remembers watching. Watching watching watching.
The boy looks distraught (who wouldn't). Jiraiya doesn't think he's ever seen the expression on his face before. Tsunade's quieted down (at last), and he begins to make his way down the hall. Jiraiya watches him as he passes.
"Wait!" he calls. The boy, a few meters from him now, doesn't stop. "One more thing."
Jiraiya turns so as to look at the boy's back. "Why did you give Sasuke the necklace, Naruto?"
There's no sharingan in those lifeless eyes.
Naruto freezes, bloodied hands shoved in pockets. "I thought…" he falters for a second, and tilts his head to look out the window. The sunlight silhouettes him. "I thought it was something you gave to people you love." (And trusted, Naruto, you know that?)
Jiraiya makes no attempt to follow Naruto as he scuffs down the corridor and out of the hospital. It's not like Jiraiya has ever been in love.
Instead, he re-enters Sasuke's room, where Tsunade is looking listlessly, with red eyes, at the blue sky outside. Sasuke was a boy Tsunade didn't even know. Jiraiya doesn't understand; he probably never will (1). He doesn't think it really matters.
"Sakura will be horrified." Tsunade's voice is hoarse, but muted.
Jiraiya nods slightly, althoughTsunade isn't looking. It's not like she's trying to make conversation.
"There's no one I can trust now, is there?"
Jiraiya doesn't answer. It's not like it was really a question.
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/END EMPTY COMFORT/
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A/N:
(1) Intentional repitition.
Okay, I know it made no sense, and it was horribly out of character. But this should answer most questions.
Q: Why is Tsunade (and Jiraiya) so upset if it was Sasuke who was the dead one?
A: Because for half of this story it was Naruto who was dead. Then I decided to change that, but all before was left the same.
Q: Why is Jiraiya so callous?
A: I discovered when he's not perving, Jiraiya doesn't have much personality. Heh.
Q: Why is Jiraiya/Tsunade/Naruto so out of character?
A: Because I suck. Does that make you happy, huh!
Anything else, I appologise for.
Please review.