Title: How do you know?
Author: LonelyNoMore
Disclaimer: Everything that you recognize is owned by the eloquent Mrs. J.K. Rowling, and those affiliated with her. I also mention the name of the famous Barnes and Noble, I don't know who owns it, but if I did, I would certainly give them all the credit in the world! I love that place! If you don't recognize it, it's mine, and I don't have much, though if JKR wants to use any of this (especially the Harry/Draco part HINT! HINT!) She is more than welcome to! After all, she created this lovely universe.
Rating: I am going to play it safe with an "R" or "M" rating for language.
A/N: Reviews! OMG! I got so many! Well, to be honest, someone…Char…went through and reviewed every chapter just to make me feel better! Some peoples kids, honestly. J/K. Anyways,
Twistedmaniac: I am so glad that I am not the only one addicted to slash; I just wish I could write it better! I love you too, and at least there is one person in the world that doesn't think that I fuck up everything that I touch. Thank you!
Meg Finn: I am so glad that you R&R (that was on purpose) Anyways as well, I'm glad you think it's a beautiful story as well! I would like more reviewers, but truth be told, I would write if only Char were to read it.
Someone sent a private email to me (honestly, isn't it easier to hit the little blue button in the lower left corner?) and told me that if you already read Anyways, that it ruins this because they know what will happen at the end. But I have a secret…It doesn't end there. If I kept going with Anyways, you would have known where this is going…so please give me some credit! I ended it just right for the one shot, any longer would have ruined the feeling of it. However, since I have the luxury of chapters here, you will finally get the ending, at the end of this story, not at the end of this chapter! Please! we are only about half way through! So, here is my latest installment…
Despite me messing up all the time, you don't hide, but say
"It'll be okay"
How do you know?
Ever since their engagement, Harry and Draco had been inseparable. Both wanted to surprise the other with some special element for the ceremony, but couldn't agree on anything. Draco thought that Harry should have a big, grand wedding, however he just wanted a small, more intimate wedding himself. Harry thought that Draco should have a large, elaborate wedding as a Malfoy, but kept wishing he could have something small with just some close friends. But neither told what they wanted, they just kept saying what they thought the other wanted to hear. The promise that Draco had made to Harry the first night Harry slept in Draco's room, was that he would make sure that everything was perfect, so he was going nuts with details trying to make it perfect.
"35 galleons for flowers! Are you people escapees from Saint Mungo's or what?"
"Sorry sir, for what you have requested, 35 galleons is the best we can do. "
"I think you crazy witches are out to get me, I know for a fact that Ronald and Hermione Weasley got the flowers for their wedding from you this past summer, and I know that they didn't pay a knut over 20 galleons. "
"That was summer time sir, flowers are more expensive in winter because it requires more work to grow them, and Mr. & Mrs. Weasley asked for cheaper flowers than what you are asking for."
"Flowers are flowers! Aren't they? Well, maybe I'll grow the damn things myself, how hard can it be?"
"Do as you like sir, but doesn't Mr. Potter deserve the very best, and it would actually be much easier for you to let us to do all that work for you, sir."
"Okay, okay, I will stop by later. But be forewarned. These bloody flowers better be the most exquisite, and beautiful things on the planet, and they all better be arranged exactly how I want them, or heads are going to roll. Got it?"
"We do have a 100 guarantee Mr. Malfoy. Your mother was always pleased with our work, and I am sure you will be as well, is there anything else I can assist you with Mr. Malfoy?"
"Just one thing, please, please do not call me Mr. Malfoy, that was my father, just call me Draco."
"No problem Mr. Ma…uh, No problem Draco, sir."
"Thank you."
"No, thank you sir."
Hermione couldn't help but shake her head as Draco hung up. She had been helping Draco, since she was on break from university, but Harry and Ron were still working on their Auror Training.
"That bad, huh Draco?"
"Vampires! I swear all florists are vampires! They are all out to suck me dry!"
Hermione bit back a giggle,
"Well, you know Draco; the flowers you are asking for are rather expensive. I went for common flowers that I knew were easy to grow."
"I know Hermione, but Harry deserves the best, doesn't he?"
"Yes Draco he does, but like I had said before graduation, Harry isn't into material things Draco. "
"Mione, please, I just want to make this day utterly perfect for him. I want him to be able to walk into that hall, and have his jaw drop…I want it to be a piece of heaven here on earth. Just for him."
How was she to argue with that? She leaned over and gave Draco a big bear hug, as big as one as she could, seeing as how she was 6 months pregnant and already feeling over large. Draco didn't know what he would do without Hermione there to help him. She had been a constant source of inspiration and a good shoulder to cry on. He took advantage of that when she hugged him. She never knew why Draco cried when they worked on wedding stuff, she guessed it was because both of their parents were dead, there would be no family there, or more specifically it wouldn't have been a marriage his parents would have approved of. Draco never tried to dissuade her from these thoughts. He knew he wouldn't be able to tell her the truth. She was right in her guesses, it was sad that neither of them would have family to celebrate their wedding with, and no his parents would not have approved of his marriage to Harry, but that wasn't why he cried. He cried because he knew that he was being selfish. He knew that Harry deserved so much better. Harry deserved someone as clean and pure as himself. He lied the night Harry proposed to him, and hadn't told him what Mad-Eye had said. He didn't want to stir up any trouble for Harry. He wanted to make his life perfect. But the truth to it was, every time that they had sex together, Draco begged to be bottom, because when he was on top what Mad-Eye had said kept repeating in his mind. Every single time he thrust into Harry, a picture of another of his fucks was there, fucking his Harry. Every time, he would look into Harry's eyes, he would see someone else staring back, not him, but another of his one-night stands, that those images will haunt him forever. For that, he could never be sorry enough. He knew that Harry deserved someone with the same moral background that Harry grew up with. Someone who wouldn't fuck anything that moved. Even though Draco wasn't like that, and hadn't since he was with Harry, it was hard to deny that it was a constant reminder of just how hard he had tried to get Harry out of his head. All that, and none of it worked, just as he was drying his eyes, Ron and Harry apparated in.
"What's wrong Draco? Is everything alright?"
"Yes Harry, I'm fine, just getting frustrated is all. Bloody vampires are out to suck me dry!" Hermione was giggling, and Ron looked thoroughly confused, Harry just shook his head…
"That bad, eh? Who is it this time…last week it was Madame Malkin, the week before that was Madame Pudifoots, the week before that…"
"Okay you little wretch…I see how you are! I slave away tirelessly trying to make your wedding perfect."
"Our wedding, Draco. Our wedding."
"Yes, yes, anyways. I called the florists, and they want almost twice what Ron and Hermione had to pay! It's not fair!"
"Flourish & Bloom? Is that who you called?"
"Well yes, they are the best, and I always buy my books off her husband at Flourish & Blotts, and Hermione loved her flowers, and mother never had a single complaint about their work, and that's saying something."
"Okay, okay Draco, whatever you want."
"I just want your day to be perfect."
As Draco leaned over to kiss Harry, both Hermione and Ron started blushing. Hermione just smiled, as Ron looked like he was going to be sick, and cleared his throat, said his goodbyes, grabbed Mione and flooed back to the burrow.
"Works every time! I wish I would have known this in school! It would have saved me loads of trouble."
"Yes, but it would have given you loads of trouble. I'm pretty sure that had you done this to me before 7th year, Ron and Hermione would have hexed your lips off."
"True, oh well, at least I have you to myself for now."
"AH, yes…about that. You see Mad-Eye has called for some night training. He thinks that all us new recruits need some hands on in an actual situation, not a simulated one in a requirement room. So you've only got me for about 4 hours, then I have to go back."
"He's doing this on purpose you know. I know he is. He doesn't like me and you know it. And now when it's getting close to the wedding like this, he keeps pulling you back. I bet he's even tried to talk you out of marrying me."
"Draco relax, it's nothing like that. I swear! If it was, do you think that he'd have Ron and everyone else coming back as well? Come on Draco. I know he isn't exactly fond of you, but he would never do anything like that. He knows that you mean the world to me. He would never begrudge me the one thing that makes me happy."
"I wouldn't necessarily say that, but okay, as long as everyone else has to go as well, but I don't like it. We have so much to get done, and the wedding is only a little over a week away. I just don't want anything to happen to you before then."
"Draco you don't have to worry. Nothing could ever happen to change my mind. I love you."
"I know, but I don't know why. I'll run down to Barnes & Noble and grab us some coffee. You're going to need it if you're going to be out all night with that Mad-Ass Mooney."
"It's Mad-Eye, and yeah coffee sounds good. What would you like for supper then?"
"Mad-Ass, Mad-Eye, the idiot's MAD, does it make a difference? I'm not particularly hungry, whatever you want. Just remember if it's Chinese, nothing spicy!"
"Alright, no problem…don't forget I like my coffee"
"Black, I know! Have I ever messed it up before?"
"I guess not, just hurry up! I want some time with you too!"
Draco just shook his head as he walked out the door. Draco was glad that Harry was going through the Auror Training. It's something that he'd always wanted to do. But he didn't like it that Mad-Eye was given the head teaching position after the war. Just to keep the old coot off the street, and behind a desk, 'Yeah put him in charge of the new aurors, that's it' Draco thought bitterly. Ever since the ferret incident, though he knew it was a Mad-Eye wanna be, he still didn't like the man. Especially after their last encounter at Weasley's wedding. He was glad he hadn't told Harry what the old man said, in truth, the only person he could talk to about that stuff was Snape, and that old man was getting testy with his prodigy because of his choice of a husband. Snape had hoped he wouldn't have to see the bleeding hearted griffyndor again. He thought that was why Draco wasn't in schooling yet. Draco should have been in university studying potions by now, but because the ministry still had all of his inheritance tied up, he was unable to do so. But he had been postponing telling the truth. That without his inheritance, he Draco Malfoy, was near broke. He needed to talk to his mentor, and friend for something he never thought he would have to do, he would fire call him tonight after Harry left.
When Draco returned with their coffee's Harry noticed Draco was a bit preoccupied, but figured with the wedding and all coming up fast, it was to be expected. They enjoyed a nice leisurely supper of fish and chips. Harry didn't want anything that he might regret when out with Moody and didn't know where the nearest loo was. They cleared their dishes, and Harry drank some water as Draco drank some wine while they sat in front of the fire for a bit. This was one of Harry's favorite things. Just Draco and himself, sitting in front of the fire, relaxing in each other's arms, it was so peaceful, so serene, and yet so normal, that it amazed Draco how easy it was to please Harry when he discovered this. Sometimes they would sit in quiet contemplation, others they would discuss daily things, or wedding facts. It was nice.
Before Harry left he gave Draco a kiss, and told him not to wait up. Draco nodded with a smile on his face, and told Harry that he'd wait for him forever. Seconds after Harry apparated away, Draco was on his knees in front of the hearth.
"Severus Snape"
"Yes Draco, I hope that it is important for you to be interrupting me whilst I am at work?"
"Severus, do I ever interrupt you if it's not important?"
"Do you want me to answer that honestly Draco? Because if you did, I'm sure that you would not like the answer that I would give."
"Point taken. Now, how are things at the school?"
"Draco it's not been a week since we chatted, yes I am coming to your infernal wedding, and I will be civil with the Boy –Who-Lived-To-Annoy-Me. You knew that though, so what is wrong. I know you too well to pull this over me. Did that paranoid Moony get to you again? I swear if I could think of a way to get passed that coots defenses, I'd poison him, and that stupid little eye too!"
"Severus, as much as I would love to see that, and believe me love is too light a word for that, I just wanted to chat."
"Liar. You've been crying, I'm not blind, and if it's not Moody then who? Potter? Weasley? Weaslette?"
"No, no, no. I just…it's just…shit. Severus, what I am about to say you will repeat to no one. Understand?"
"Yes Draco, though it's not like I talk to anyone other than you anyways."
"You know who I am talking about. Now, you know how the ministry was going to investigate all the gringott accounts of the death eaters. Even those who were dead?"
"Yes, and your fathers was one of them, I'm sure. It was supposed to be done by the time you graduated; it's your inheritance after all."
"Well, at least some one agrees with me. Anyways, they never even started the investigations. I had Kingsley look into it, and he couldn't figure out where it stopped. He said someone high up doesn't want me into that account or the manor. I could care less about the damn manor, I was just going to sell it anyways, but I am still unable to claim my inheritance."
"That's ridiculous. Did Kingsley find out who it was?"
"No. He said there was so much red tape surrounding my case he got lost in it. He said that while working on it, he heard some people saying it was because they still thought that I am a death eater. Can you believe that non-sense?"
"Can I believe it? Yes. Is it fair? No. Look Draco that is what I have gone through my entire life. I do not know what to tell you. This is the real reason you have not attended university isn't it? They should know about you and Potter, for shit's sake the engagement announcement that Hermione had put in the Daily Prophet for you and Harry told the whole world of your relationship to our illustrious savior. But I am sure that you have a sizable amount in your private vault that you will be able to sustain yourself with. Am I right?"
"Well, you see Severus, that's just it… I have been living off of it since the end of 5th year when father was incarcerated. I'm afraid that I am broke. I didn't want to tell Harry. I want our wedding to be perfect for him. He deserves it!"
"So of course you had to go and buy the best of everything I'm sure. Draco when will you learn? If there is one thing that I know about that insufferable git that you are going to marry he wouldn't care if you threw a wedding that Weasley could afford, he loves you Draco. No matter where you guys get married, the flowers that are there, the robes that you wear, or the way you style your hair…He loves you. Plain and simple."
"Severus, Harry deserves the best, does he not? After everything that has happened to him…losing his parents, growing up with those horrible muggles, me making his life miserable for nearly 7 years, and having to put up the publicity that he never wanted, he deserves this."
"If you are asking if I think if that is what he wants, I won't be able to answer you. Only he can. But yes, I suppose if anybody deserves it, it's you two. Now is that all?"
"Well, that's half of it. You see when I said I was broke, I mean broke. Do you think I could borrow some money to pay for the wedding until my inheritance is released? You know that there is more than enough to pay you back. It's not like you won't how to find me. Please!"
"hhhhhh…..did you ask Potter about this?"
"Are you nutters? I most certainly will not tell him. Will you Severus? Please! I want to pay for this on my own; I want to do this for Harry. "
"Draco, marriage requires trust. You know this. Why don't you trust Potter enough to tell him this? I want you to think about that. If money is still an issue, of course I will lend it to you. Just tell me why you don't trust Harry."
"It's not that I don't trust him! I just don't want him to go off half cocked down to the ministry and throw his name around and demand things. This is my mess and I want to clean it up! I don't need Saint Potter swooping in to rescue me. I am perfectly able to do this on my own with out the fucking savior of the world's help!
Snape saw someone apparate in behind Draco at the last couple of sentences, and decided to end the conversation before Draco would say anymore.
"Goodbye then Draco, I will see you tomorrow for lunch, Three Broomsticks at noon."
With that the floo closed and Draco found himself on Harry's hearth again. Why did he asking so many fucking questions? Couldn't he just say yes or no?
"Is nothing easy anymore?" Draco said aloud.
"I guess not." Draco spun around to see Harry standing behind him with a tear rolling down his cheek.
"Harry! You're back early. When did you"
"Stop it Draco, I heard enough. You know what. Fuck you. I never asked to be anyone's savior, least of all yours. So just let me the hell alone."
"Harry…" Draco never got to finish cause Harry disaparated again.
Draco figured that he should give Harry some time alone, so he left Harry's apartment and walked back to his own. He needed to clear his thoughts anyways. 'How much did Harry hear? I knew it. I knew I would fuck something up. I always fuck-up everything I touch. Why can't I just leave well enough alone?' Draco tossed and turned that night. He barely talked to Severus the next day at lunch, and probably had too much to drink. He didn't even say Hi to Hermione when he passed her in Diagon Alley paying off all the wedding bills. He wallowed in his flat. Draco didn't even bath or shave.
When Hermione came over for her usual Thursday visit to help with the final touches of the wedding, she was appalled. She nearly gagged when she walked into Draco's normally spotless flat, now filled with nearly full chinese containers, pizza boxes, Styrofoam containers and empty Barnes & Nobles coffee cups and liquor bottles were literally found on ever square inch of available space. What she saw next nearly broke her heart. She knew that Harry and Draco had a row about something, but Harry didn't talk about it, so she didn't think it was anything important. However, the sight of a drunken, unshaven Draco, still in the clothes she had seen him in last week, seemed to prove her wrong.
"Oh my god Draco! Are you alright? What happened here? How in gods name are you going to get married like this in just two days! Draco! Draco! Answer me." Hermione had to smack his face a few times to get him to look at her. When he did her heart went out to him. His normally beautiful silver eyes looked like a dull grey against the red sea of broken vessels in his eyes. He literally looked like he had nearly cried his eyes out. She sat down beside him and asked what had happened as she cradled him in her arms, pulling his face up to her chest. She began to cry with him. She made out a couple of decipherable words, like 'Moody', 'right', 'no good', 'leftovers,' 'trash', and worst of all 'Harry 'eserves better 'an me.' She shushed him and rocked him for awhile until he seemed to calm down a bit. She then went to his bathroom and found a sober quick potion went to give it to him, before thinking on it twice she turned around and grabbed a pain potion as well.
"Here, take these, they will make you feel better."
"Nufin' makes me feel betta. I fucked up again. Let's 'ear a round a'plause for the one man who fuck's up everyt'ing." Draco stood on his couch and started clapping for himself. After seeing Hermione's reproachful look he jumped down.
"You don't 'ave to be 'ere, weddin's off I s'pose." With that he broke down and started crying again. Thinking she could trick him, she grabbed an empty liquor bottle and dumped both potions in quick and handed it to him.
"Here drink this; you might as well finish it off." He looked at her with a surprised face, and took the bottle, sniffed it, then downed the whole thing. Sheer seconds later he glared at her smug little face.
"If you weren't pregnant I would hex you into next week. Why did you do that?"
"Well, you wouldn't answer me in a language that I could understand, and I want to know what you "fucked up" and why is it that you are telling me that the wedding is off when Harry hasn't told us anything about it?"
Draco perked up at this.
"He didn't say he was going to cancel the wedding?"
"No, but he didn't tell us what your row was about either, and…" she paused to look around the neglected flat…Draco feeling sufficiently guilty hung his head. "But it must have been something to cause all of this."
Draco just shook his head. How was he going to tell her?
"It's my fault. I fucked everything up, and now Harry isn't ever going to want to see me again. I should have known better"
"Draco stop pitying yourself right this instant. Now what do you think you messed up? I doubt anything bad enough to keep Harry away from you for long. When is the last time that you talked to him, he might have just needed some time to cool down. Draco, you have tried to talk to him, right?"
"No. Right before he apparated out of his apartment, he told me to just let him alone. So that's what I've been doing."
"Well, that explains why Harry's been brooding again. Look, why don't you just tell me what happened."
Draco took a deep breath then told her everything. Everything about the investigations with his inheritance, with him being broke, to the floo call with Severus asking for a loan, which lead to their fight. Draco didn't know when Harry had apparated in, but apparently he heard something that he didn't like, and wouldn't even tell Draco what it was so he could explain. Hermione just sat there. 'Classic case of misunderstanding and lack of communication, typical new couple mistakes, that's what their problem is.' Her confidence however, did not rub off on Draco. She scooted him to the bathroom and told him to clean up, and she got her wand out and started cleaning his flat. It was only 2 days to the wedding, and she was determined to set things aright. As soon as she got Draco settled she would head over and ream Harry out for jumping to conclusions. 'Typical male of course, but still no excuse to what he's done to poor Draco.'
When Draco was done getting himself cleaned up, he admitted that he had felt a little better, but was dreading the task of cleaning his flat, he knew that it would take forever. When he stepped out of the bathroom he was amazed. The flat was spotless, and everything was in its place, right down to the last pillow on his bed. He wandered through the rooms, marveling at just how fast and how thorough Hermione was with her cleaning charms. He would have to get her to show him how to do those. He noticed a large garbage bag by the door that looked like it was over flowing, on it was a note.
Dearest Draco,
I am sorry that I could not do more to help, and I wish that I would have known sooner. I hope that you know that I am your friend now as well as Harry's, I guess I have been for some time now, but never had an opportunity to tell you. You truly do make Harry happy, and I can't wait to help you get ready for your wedding in just two days! I will be here bright and early at 7 am, and I want you showered and in your dressing gown ready to go by then. I will bring you your coffee. You as the bride are not to be seen before hand. Don't worry about anything, and if you need me, you know where to find me.
Love your friend,
Hermione Weasley
"Harry James Potter! I can't believe that you would do this! After everything that you guys have been through, you throw it all aside like a bad potion."
"Hermione, he called me the savior of the bloody world and said that he didn't need me! What am I supposed to think? He hates that title as much as I do, but apparently I pissed him off about something and I should have known because he was all quiet that night, I just thought that it was the stress of the wedding you know? Well I found out why, and I don't blame him. Who would want to marry the Boy –who-lived? All that publicity and all the attention, I guess it was too much. I should have known. I just wish he would have told me himself, and not let me hear him telling Snape of all people! God Hermione, Snape!"
"Harry would you listen to yourself. You said yourself that you overheard, but what if you only overheard part of it? Did you think about that? Harry, Draco hasn't showered in a week, he's been drunk and noteating and his flat was trashed and he didn't care! All because he thought that he lost you.He's broke Harry!He was asking for Severus's help to pay for the wedding.Broke! He wants you to have the perfect day no matter what. He's spent all of his money on this wedding, for you. His inheritance is still tangled down at the ministry and so he's been living off his own money he had saved. He's been living off of it since his father was incarcerated at the end of 5th year. Draco's been going nuts trying to keep this from you. He knows how busy you are and he needs to do this for himself. Snape had suggested you to help, but Draco doesn't want his money cleared because of you. He wants it cleared because he proved them all wrong about him. If you go down there, it will just prove what Mad-Eye has been saying all along…That he's just leftovers that you're helping to clean up. Let him handle this Harry. The only thing he has done to you is love you. He loves you too much to do that to you."
With that Hermione left her friend. Confident that she had gotten her point across, and that he would do what was right. She just hoped that she wasn't wrong. Harry thought long and hard about what Hermione had said. He didn't sleep that night, he walked around cleaning, did some homework, and when he realized that it was nearly dawn, he decided to go for a walk.
When Draco awoke that morning he had planned on going for his usual job and grabbing Harry's coffee and putting right outside his door for him, but when he went to walk out his door he almost stepped on a cup. He picked up the familiar Barnes & Noble cup and saw a note taped to it. He took a sip of the coffee, his favorite, double espresso with extra cream, chocolate shavings, and cinnamin on it. He opened the note and smiled. He walked back into his flat and placed it on the bathroom mirror.Then left to finish his jog. The note simply read.
I'm sorry. It will be okay. I love you.
HJP