Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or locations – they all belong to Squaresoft… as usual. -sigh-

Note: GOOD LORD. Has it really been over a year? Over two maybe? God... I am so, so sorry. I am a big loser. Hi, remember me? That person you hate because I never post? Hopefully the - not one, but TWO - new chapters make up for it a little? Maybe a little? -looks hopeful- Ah… who am I kidding. I can't make it up to you, but enjoy anyway?

Baby Steps

The brunette's dark chocolate hair softly lay about her face. Wavering candlelight played across it, and it shone, glinting with golden hues. Her pale, white face glowed with reflected light. Her serene face was solemn and plain, but the dark, contemplative eyes were full of thought. She stared unblinkingly at the ceiling, breathing in and out in a smooth, controlled rhythm. A cool, evening breeze sauntered in through the open window, and she stirred a bit, pulling the green utility hospital blanket up around her neck.

Squall watched silently as the slim figure turned on her side and faced the blank wall opposite him. Her perfect contour was accented by the blanket that draped around her, yet he felt no desire to reach out and touch her. He stood there, unmoving in the shadows. He didn't know how long. A minute or an hour, it made no difference. Thoughts whirled inside his head, and yet he was calm, both inside and out. He felt no pain, no happiness, but a kind of placid indifference, which he both understood and was utterly confused by.

He didn't know what to think anymore. Nothing seemed real… nothing seemed to make sense. Three days ago he would never have expected to see Rinoa like he had seen her on the 2F deck. Three days ago he would never have expected to carry her bloody, naked body from the shower to the infirmary. Three days ago, he had never knotted a noose. But everything had changed.

He wasn't angry with her. He wasn't angry with himself. Right then, he wasn't anything.

Rinoa shifted, turning to face him and let out a gasp. Her body flinched and her eyes widened, catching sight of him.

"Jesus, Squall, how long have you been there?"

"Not long," he replied.

He had no idea if that was true, but it was irrelevant. For a second, this basic exchange between them made it seem as if nothing had happened at all, as if the past three days didn't exist. For a second, it was just him and Rin, talking. But the second passed, and the pain rushed forward into Squall's thoughts as Rinoa struggled to sit up. When she finally sat upright, Squall was surprised at how little she was bandaged. She had gauze wrapped around her upper arms, and a small patch of gauze affixed to one cheek. The rest of her visible skin, while somewhat red and sore looking, looked almost completely normal.

Squall sighed inwardly. Modern medicine can heal the outer burns in a day… if only the inner wounds were so easily soothed. A shaky voice broke his thoughts.

"Squall?"

He looked up and met Rinoa's eyes. The deep browns and glints of gold in her eyes made them so beautiful, even as they were now, puffy, red, and filled with tears. Squall said nothing, and simply waited for her to continue.

"…I don't know what I can possibly say to you."

Nothing, he thought inwardly, turning from her and looking stolidly out the doorway.

"I've been incredibly foolish, and I've hurt both of us. I feel like an idiot."

Hurt both of us? He didn't want to hear about her hurt right then, not while his hurts still bled slightly through the newly-formed scab of his indifference. He took a few steps towards the door.

"Wait!" she cried out, placing a cold, smooth hand on his arm.

He turned his blank stare on her, waiting. She retracted her arm, looking almost abashed.

"I just need to say one thing. You probably don't want to hear it, but I have to say it."

She paused and searched his eyes for some reaction, some feeling, some sign of recognition. She was greeted by nothing. This filled her with dread, but there was nothing for it but to continue. She took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

She turned her wide, teary eyes to the floor, and Squall, unable to find any words, left without a word. Rinoa lay back on the cot, letting the tears flow freely, the salt stinging her cheek with each drop's passing.