-1Quïnque
So often, we take for granted the aspects of life we have control over. However, what happens when those aspects slip out from our shaking grasp? Do we weep, do we try desperately to claw our way up the hierarchy of life to the rung of "control"?
Clive slowly opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling of his house.
Wait a moment, what am I doing at home? Did someone bring me here?
He shifted his head to the left and then to the right, looking around for any signs of his wife or daughter.
"Kaitlyn, honey?" groaned Clive, slowly sitting up and popping his neck with a pained grimace. There was no answer to his beckon. Taking in a deep breath, he slung his legs over the side of the bed and looked down at the hardwood floor.
Why do I ache so much? Did I sleep wrong? Was it all a dream?
"Catherine? Honey, are you there?" he inquired, standing up and walking toward the mirror, where his reflection looked blankly back at him.
I look like hell.
He blinked and ran a hand through his already tousled, sleep matted, hair. However, his reflection didn't mimic his actions and he stumbled back with surprise.
"W-what?" he uttered, watching in horror as his reflection stepped out of the mirror and stood stoically on the dresser, not molesting the various trinkets thereupon.
"Why do you look so surprised, it's not like I'm a ghost or anything?" mused the alter-Clive, dropping down to the floor gracefully with nary a sound.
"Y-you may as well be! What is going on? Where are my wife and daughter! If you did something, I swear I'm goin-" he was interrupted by a dismissive wave of the other Clive's hand.
"Relax, I did nothing to your wife and child; after all, they are my wife and child as well. I'm here to talk to you, not to upset you or to disrupt your "happy" life." mused Clive's alter ego, making sure to put a sarcastic emphasis on the word "happy".
"Look..." sighed Clive, removing his glasses and cleaning them with the lapel of his trench coat before placing them back on the bridge of his nose. " I know that the my life is far from happy, I also know that I've been both a poor father to Kaitlyn and, if possible, a worse husband to Catherine; I do not need you to state those painfully obvious facts. "concluded Clive, rubbing the bridge of his nose with irritation and then glaring at his other self with half closed eyes.
"Whoa, hey there, wait a minute! No need to get so huffy and puffy. Really..." sighed the other Clive, tugging at his string tie with a tight-lipped grin. "You're a lot touchier than me, that's for sure."
"What do you want?" asked Clive, opening his eyes all the way and tilting his head to the side inquisitively.
"Ah, see, that's where I reverse the question on you and ask you the self same thing. What do you want, Clive Winslett? To leave this mortal coil or to protect those you love from all that could harm them? You can choose only one; sadly enough, a specter does not make a great guard."
"Wait a moment, who said anything about dying, or even considering such a rash choice!" exclaimed Clive, walking toward his duplicate, popping his neck straight, and wringing his hands with anger, his steps becoming more eager and brash. Doppelganger Clive raised both of his hands defensively in front of him, the superior smile slowly melting from his scruffy face.
"Hold it, solider, I've no intention of fighting you. I'm here to help make things clear, in so saying, I am here to help you, not hinder or harm you. Now calm down, stand down, and stop wringing your hands like my neck is between them." mused the other sniper, dropping his hands to his side benevolently and nodding his head for Clive to do the same. Slowly and reluctantly, Clive followed suit and eyed his mirror image cautiously.
"Tell me what you want. My patience is running thin, I want to see my wife and child soon." glared Clive at the other, locking eyes with his reflection and straightening his back in an almost challenging manner.
"Yes, yes, I know all of that. But first, a simple question." offered pseudo-Clive, extending his arm, his palm pointing toward the ceiling.
"And what would that be?" huffed Clive, for some reason unnaturally angry.
"If you could turn back time and be with your wife and kid without having to rely on being a Drifter, would you? Now, think very carefully before you answer that, we have all the time in the world and I am in no big hurry.
Why did he have to bring that up? Sure, I would have loved to be with Catherine and Kaitlyn every waking moment but... Had I not became a Drifter would the battle against Beatrice concluded in a successful manner. Now that I think about it... the only reason we got through it was that we believed so strongly in one another.
"I... I do not know. I-I suppose, given the opportunity..." Clive's sentence trailed off with uncertainty, extracting a pleased smile from the other green haired man.
"It is just as I summarized; you are proud of your accomplishments, and, might I add, you should be. However, I feel as if you've lost sight of what you fought for in the first place. Now, be honest with me, and you can be because, as far as I know, we're alone: When you were fighting Beatrice, was surviving running though your head or were Kaitlyn's and Catherine's smiling faces running through it?" inquired the mirrored sniper, leaning against the dresser, a wisp of a smile drifting across his face.
Clive stumbled back and sat down on the bed with a muffled thud.
"I-I do not remember. I remember wanting to get through it all to see them again but I don't think I thought of them during the battle..." he rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his face in his outstretched hands.
"Now I remember, I was thinking before the battle "I cannot lose, Kaitlyn's smile, Catherine's laughter, my friend's company, they all rely on me." and then we rushed off. I feel somewhat bad that they did not, once, cross my mind in the actual battle."
"Why does that plague you so? You know good and well that, had you lost either your focus or your cool, you would've been decimated along with your teammates. Am I correct in that assumption?" inquired the alternate man, walking over to Clive and putting his hand lightly on Clive's shoulder. Clive looked up at him with confusion rolling in his dark blue eyes.
"To be honest with you, I always thought that I should think about my wife and child over any of my missions, however, so many times they slipped from my mind and I was faced with a mission that held monetary value but little in the way of personal gain. That time I nearly quit the team I thought to myself "Aren't you forgetting why you fight? You almost lost them, does that not scare you." and, in truth, I was scared, scared to death. I thought that I had not only lost sight of what was important to me but also lost the people I cared so much about. But then..." a weak smile crossed the sniper's darkened face. "Kaitlyn reached out her small hand..." a small tear of pride formed in the crinkle of his eyes and he laughed a bit
" like an angel and set me right. She made me realize that the mission and her and Catherine could coincide and work harmoniously toward the ultimate goal. It's surprising how much smarter she is than me." chuckled Clive, removing his elbow from his chin and resting it sheepishly behind his head.
"But, ultimately, didn't you discover what truly mattered?" inquired the other man, sitting down beside him and looking at him intently. Clive nodded and locked eyes with his copy.
"Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, basically," started the other Clive, blinking a couple of times to break the intense gaze. "You've lost sight of things again and I'm here to set you straight instead of Kaitlyn. You see, when you disappeared from Filgaia you came here, Noth'ral, Filgaia's Fylgia, or Filgaia's mirror planet. When things are unresolved in one plane the other plane merges for a while and resolves the said issue by streaming the stream of thoughts branching from the divine mind. So, basically, I am a collection of thoughts, both yours and your loved ones. I'm am the personification of both you and every one else's perception of you... if that makes any sense." Clive let things set in before he spoke again.
"So, basically what you are trying to tell me is that you are me and the perception of me rolled into one. In so saying, you can see things from every point of view and know exactly what's plaguing me, right?" inquired Clive, dropping the elbow that was behind his head back down to his side.
"Well, that's part of it, yes, but, I'm confused too. See, as I said, I share your sentience and bits and pieces of the others, the problem, being of course, your problems are my problems too and there's only so much different view points can do before things become even more confusing. So, here's the question plain and simple. Would you give up drifting to spend the rest of your life with Kaitlyn and Catherine in total bliss or would you opt to keep drifting and let the longing build up to its peak before visiting them again and embracing them like there's no tomorrow? You see, it's true, absence makes the heart grow fonder but you have it in your mind that you want to be both present and absent and you can't do that, that's why you're so torn. So, ask yourself this Clive Winslett: What is it that will make you happy? It may sound selfish but the way of life is this "If you're not happy the others around you will not be happy. You see, it's all about the vibes you generate. True you would be happy staying with your wife and kid but there's something deep inside of you that wants to be free. Which is it Clive? Do you wish to be with your wife and kid and be bound to them? Or do you want to wander and then come back to them only when the longing is the strongest? While the second sounds the easiest, it really is not. Think about it." smiled the Fylgian sniper as he rose to his feet and looked down at his Filgaian counterpart.
"Looking for a shortcut can lead you astray." That's always been my mantra and the more I think about it the more I realize how much I have been deceiving myself. I cannot very well have the best of both worlds and I realize that, in the end, my wife and child matter more to me than my occupation. But, in all honesty, how can I say good-bye to my friends? True they are just my friends and should not matter as much as Catherine and Kaitlyn but still... my life was saved by them numerous times, I cannot just ignore that fact." pondered Clive, looking down at the clean hardwood floor, sighing a bit as he watched a light colored roach scamper across the floor. Fylgian Clive also watched the roach and sighed in an almost condescending manner.
"Nasty things, those roaches."
"Yes, very nasty." agreed Clive, looking at his mirrored version's feet.
"You know, you don't have to disown your friends in order to stay with your wife and kid. There's always the option o-"
"Letting them stay with me? Is that what you were going to say?" butted in Clive. Fylgian Clive nodded his head and looked at his counterpart with irritation, trying to figure out what brought about such a rude interruption.
"Yeah, that would be one idea...," quipped Fylgian Clive in a slow, cool manner.
"Well, that idea would work if we weren't wanted." mourned Clive, closing his eyes and rubbing his temple. Fylgian Clive laughed and kicked Clive's shoe gently.
"There's a saying on Gaia, that is, the planet that your planet mirrors, that goes like this: "Hard rains rarely last and every lightening bolt is just a hint of promise to the sun's rebirth.. Or, something to that effect." the mirror image shook his head and continued "Regardless, what it boils down to is this: There is already someone studying that case and, trust me, their evidence will set you all free."
"What?" asked Clive, snapping his head up to look at his doppelganger, dropping the finger that was rubbing his temple down to his lap.
"Her name is Anah Lahn and she's a bright young woman. Her vibe in this world and yours is very strong and she has several facts already laid out on the table that pretty much guarantee your freedom. I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that you all are innocent... however; passion blinded by adamant faith can lead a person to do and say things that they normally would not do. " concluded Fylgian Clive, closing his eyes and resting his temple on his outstretched finger, his mouth set in a tired frown.
"Wait a minute, how did Anah find out about all of this? I've never heard of her before." stated Clive, standing up so that he was now looking at the other Clive face to face. The Clive from Fylgia slowly opened his eyes, blinked, and then stumbled back a bit in surprise.
"Whoa! Warn me before you get up in my face like that!" scoffed he, absently sticking his pinky halfway into his ear and rotating it around a couple of times.
"Oh.. sorry." quipped the Clive of Filgaia taking a couple of steps back and giving him an apologetic bow of his head.
"Hey, no problem, I understand that you're excited. As for Anah knowing about your predicament, let's just put it this way; angels don't always have wings and a halo, she may not look it but she is an angel to many... it doesn't hurt that she likes several people on your team and wants to see everybody happy. Also, she's been watching almost all of your missions, hence she knows what kind of people you are and, possibly, what transpired between you all and Beatrice." smiled Fylgian Clive, returning the nod of amity that Clive had presented.
"I see, so, if she's practically seen all of our exploits then she must have had some help and a very quick gun to boot. I really see no other way for her to have survive all of our encounters otherwise."
"Ah, that's where you're wrong, my dear brother. You see, first of all, she works alone, for if she worked with others it would take away from her charisma. Oh, and for the record, she prefers twin, serrated, daggers. She can hold her own, trust me.
"So she must be one tough customer, hm?" grinned Clive, slowly walking behind his alter ego, prompting a one eighty from his counterpart.
"She is, but you had best tell that Gallows fellow to watch his step around her. She likes him but she likes Virginia more, so, chances are, if he flirts with Virginia then Anah will see Gallows as competition and act accordingly. I doubt very seriously that Gallows would want to be on the receiving end of one, or both, of her daggers." Clive chuckled to this and shook his head.
"I will keep that in mind, because, chances are, if Anah is pretty then Gallows will surely try his luck to "score" with her as he always says." His alter ego nodded to this and tapped the side of his head with his index finger.
"And he wonders why he can not get a date... With vocabulary like that I suspect that many a woman thought of him as dull."
"Yeah." mused Clive as watched his alter-self walk back toward the mirror whence he came.
"Are you leaving so soon?" inquired Clive, watching as the Fylgian Clive stepped onto the dresser and placed his hand against the mirror. The Fylgian Clive nodded in affirmation and his hand sank through the glass as a body would through water.
"I am afraid so. I must attend to my duties on MY world. Oh, and, I also have to be home in time to read Kaitlyn a bed time story." smiled he, his body halfway through the mirrored portal. Clive's smile widened as he watched the man vanish through the gate...
"Heh. I suppose we two are not so different after all." mused the sniper as he looked around for the exit. However, the doors that normally lead out of the room was missing and the only way out seemed to be the window.
Very well, then...
With a smile, he threw a brush through the window and the tranquil outside scene shattered into a void of color mixed with the sounds of the past. But, this, too, was okay for he knew where he was going and where he was coming from. For the first time in his life, Clive Winslett understood his purpose