The End

So what is this weather, and what is this darkness,
And why do I feel so alone?
And when will it snow, it's been raining for hours,
And why do I feel so alone?
And when I'm left at home, when you're with someone else I'm all alone.
You do not cheat me of my childhood

- "Alone" by Lisa Loeb

---The Beginning of The End---

It was raining. The dark clouds drifted lazily overhead as the raining thudded heavily against the ground. The chill of winter was almost unbearable. As Mitarashi Anko trudged thought the forest, she began to feel the cold creeping through her soaked clothes and clinging to her very bones. Her breath came in small wisps of steam, and her hands felt numb.

"It's been raining for hours." Anko complained. "When's it going to snow?"

Her sensei turned slightly, giving her an irritated look that she'd grown accustomed to. It was often directed towards others, but every once in a while, Anko found that chilly gaze on her. She basked in his praise, but it was so rarely given.

"You shouldn't complain." He said coldly in reply.

Anko sighed, and knew better than to try entice her sensei to speak more. And she knew his temperament well enough to know he wanted her to be quiet. They plodded along in the rain, which was pounding heavily on them, despite the thick trees to shelter them. From a distance, they'd have looked a sorry sight. One taller figure in front with his clothes clinging to his thin, almost skeletal frame, and trailing behind him a soggy and disgruntled little girl.

Of course, from such a distance, no one could see the slight pride and elegance that the man held himself with. They couldn't see how the young girl never stumbled or tripped, despite the complex root work throughout the forest, or that she tried to imitate the stiffness of the man. They would also notice that they did not seem to have any trouble with the mud or the rain. They could also have noticed that they were wearing much too little, and much too fancy clothing to be normal nomads or merchants. But then, who would have been fool enough to wander around in the middle of a heavy rainstorm, just to stop and analyze a couple bedraggled travelers?

"Orochimaru-sensei," Anko began, breaking the silence that had settled under the loud rain pouring down. "When are we going back to Konoha?"

Ororchimaru cast a sharp glance at his pupil, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "I said before, we're not."

Anko was silent again, which did not seem to bother Orochimaru in the slightest. If anyone were to ask his opinion, though they rarely did, he would say that Anko talked much too much and thought much too little. If someone were ask him what her good traits were, he'd inform them that she didn't have any. None that were noteworthy, in his opinion at least. But then again, this was why they never asked his opinion, because in his opinion, nothing was noteworthy. But if he must choose one, he'd say that she was a fair hand at assassinations.

Anko heaved another sigh unhappily. She hated the rain. She hated trekking through the rain. And most of all, she hated the thought that Ororchimaru was annoyed with her again. She should be used to it, but she always felt that those short moments of approval and half-compliments were worth the work. She wished she wasn't so annoying. But then again, to Orochimaru, everyone was annoying, anyway.

Anko couldn't help feeling his frustration with her. Jiraya's stundent had recently been named Hokage. Tsunade's student was quickly becoming a talented poison expert. But what did that leave Anko? The sad truth of it was, it left her close to nothing. But it didn't matter, since she had one thing she was better than any of them at, Orochimaru had made sure of that. She was the best at killing.

Orochimaru had always commented that they were too softhearted. They didn't kill, even when it was necessary. Anko made it a point to excel in this realm. After all, Shizune's poisons didn't make it into the cup without someone to pour it in. The new Hokage's bidding didn't get done because he went out and did any of the dirty work himself.

It had been a few more hours before they arrived at their destination. Orochimaru said it would be simple. He wanted some sort of scroll or something they kept locked up in a large mansion owned by a rich and powerful clan. Anko was to serve as a distraction, acting as if she had been sent to assassinate the Head of the Clan, while Orochimaru went off to do the real crime.

"Are we there, yet?" Anko complained, forgetting that she'd already annoyed him twice that day. The cold must be dulling her mind, she usually didn't forget things.

"Almost." Orochimaru replied. Anko noted that he didn't seem annoyed with her. He must be really interested in the scroll to distract him from reprimanding her for speaking while they were on a mission.

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They'd known. They had let them leave only to force them back. She hadn't expected all those Konoha ANBU to be waiting for her. She certainly hadn't expected them to put forth more than one squad to get them. Anko had killed them as they drew close, with quick and easy strikes. But they kept coming. They were a swarm of bees, stinging her with little pinches until there was nowhere left to sting. She was bleeding, she knew. She was hurting, she knew. She was dying, she knew. She wanted to cry, but she didn't.

Anko did not cry.

Not even as they bound her in chakra ropes and threw her into a prison cell in the castle. Not even as she felt that horrible feeling of failure stir growing in her stomach. Not even as she imagined the disgusted look Orochimaru would give her. Not even as she felt her blood pooling around her and her chest burning with the strain to breathe.

She was like a fish, gasping for air above the water. She felt like someone was stabbing shards of glass into her heart. Someone had stabbed her and now they were twisting the knife. The rain had kept her cold, and the fighting had not warmed her at all. Her blood felt like ice as it slid off her skin. It hurt.

But Anko was used to this pain. This physical pain, this pain that could only be felt with each labored breath she took, and each bare movement, and each uncomfortable rub of the rope. This was the outside pain. This hurt, this suffering, it was all on the outside. She was strong on the inside, on the inside it didn't hurt, no matter what they did; they couldn't make her hurt there.

There were two outside the door, guarding her. She was silent for a long time and so were they. There was silence throughout the whole castle. It seemed that all the shinobi crept silently, like true masters of their art. She heard a heavy thudding somewhere. Somewhere close. She didn't want to open her eyes. They were so heavy, her body was so tired, and when she closed her eyes, it all seemed to melt behind the soothing sound of the rain pattering against the bricks.

But she did open her eyes.

She saw Orochimaru staring at her in her cell, bound from head to toe in chakra strings, her weapons stolen. She saw that terrible look she'd imagined. The disgusted, disapproving gaze that was so blank and indifferent. Anko closed her eyes again. The feeling of humility in her stomach hardened. It made it clench like a thousand kills had not.

"You've been caught." He commented in the same voice he'd always use. "I expected better of you. Did you not use your curse seal?"

In truth, she had. She remembered the feeling of it stealing across her skin, the smell of her flesh burning. She remembered the rush of power and energy, the exhilarating thrill of seeing blood and death all around her. She remembered seeing in red Technicolor. She remembered hearing terrible, terrible laughter, only to find it erupting from her own mouth.

Anko bit her lip until it bled. Even that pain did not make her cry. Damnit, why wouldn't she cry? Maybe it was the pain, the lack of hydration, or maybe it was because she was frozen to the bone, but the tears would not come. Her cheek rested against the cool surface of the wall and she hurt. On the outside, she told herself. Just the outside.

She'd disappointed him. Again. Just the outside. Just the outside. Cut, bruises, sprains, and breaks. None of these had ever hurt so much. Her blood had formed a puddle around her. She couldn't feel her hands, but she knew there was blood on them. She couldn't see because her vision was growing blurry, but she knew that there was blood on her face. She couldn't move because she was bound, but she knew that the wounds could still bleed.

"Is it still raining?" Anko asked instead, but her voice sounded weak and hoarse. Weak.

"Yes." Orochimaru turned away. "I've a mission to complete first." He said coolly as ever. "I'll come back and get you later." And then he was gone...

It was a few hours before she realized that he was not coming back.

Somewhere the sun was shining. Somewhere children were laughing. Somewhere someone was smiling. But there was none of that here. There was none of that in the dark, damp cell, with the stench of blood and death crawling along the walls.

It was snowing.

And she hurt. On the inside.

She realized that her childhood had long left her grasp. Oh, how she longed to cling to it now. Of course, Orochimaru had always said she was full of silly dreams and nonsense.

---The End of The End---

AN: Hooray! This is one of my better Naruto pieces, I think. This is my interpretation of how Anko got abandoned by Orochimaru.

Disclaimer: I've put my disclaimer at the end, so I don't ruin the artistic beginning. I don't own Naruto. The song lyrics in italics belongs to Lisa Loeb.