Inner Demons
Something about the couch beneath him feels very different from the one he remembers falling asleep on. At first, Sanzo thinks to dismiss such a strange and possibly ludicrous account on his part, but…he can't seem to shake the feeling that he is somewhere else. Rather than looking out over the room to check, he decides he would much rather get a few more minutes of rest, and starts to roll onto his side to dig into the back of the padded couch.
When he lands on the floor, one of the many discrepancies of this new couch is made quite blatantly apparent; on the other one, he had been facing the opposite direction. His miscalculation has therefore landed him face-first on the floor. Sanzo scowls, wondering what on earth has broken his fall that feels so uncomfortable and lumpy.
Lifting up slightly only to be met by a view of bare ankles from cut-off jeans, Sanzo is reminded just where Goku decided to camp out for the night. A look behind him confirms this since a pair of startled and--dare he admit it--pleased golden eyes are staring at him from between his own sprawled legs.
Sanzo scrambles off and gets to his feet with as much dignity and poise as he can muster, throwing an indignant look down at the boy when Goku lets out a giggle. Just as Sanzo is about to offer his first 'shut the hell up' for the day, a few muffled groans emit from behind him. Perfectly content to focus his attention elsewhere, Sanzo looks over at Gojyo and Hakkai, both roused now and sitting themselves up.
He huffs in annoyance. "Don't think you can keep being this lazy when we're back on the road." he says, arms folded neatly and eyes narrowed. He makes a point to not look back at Goku but hopes the monkey knows he is of course included in the command. "I am not spending another night in this place. I don't care how we manage it. We're getting out of here today if it kills us. Understood?"
Gojyo and Hakkai exchange skeptical looks. Finally, Hakkai turns back to Sanzo with his usual false smile. "Whatever our leader wishes, of course." he says, only too appeasingly.
"Yeah, we'll get right on that." Gojyo grumbles in addition.
Goku snickers behind Sanzo, but the monk ignores him. "Yes, you will. I am not being done in by a dream. You hear me!" he shouts at the ceiling, fully aware that no answer will come, but pleased with himself regardless. A few more huffs and stamping of feet and Sanzo has made his way over to his usual place against the wall, carefully avoiding the others' gazes.
With something resembling a sneer, Gojyo wonders just how Sanzo is going to contribute to them getting out of this place by sulking all day, but doesn't voice these concerns. Instead, he glances quickly at the clock on the wall and, seeing the time, gives a mighty groan. "Why the hell are we up? No sane person gets out of bed this early."
Apparently aware of his cue, Koryuu comes out of the bedroom just then, looking already showered and dressed, though no one from the group remembers him having gone past them to reach the bathroom. The group is reminded then that they are no longer in Gonou and Gojyo's house, even though the different surroundings had indeed been apparent to them when they woke up.
Pleased to have escaped any pain and awareness of their shift, the watchers all internally take this as the sign of a good day. Sanzo alone may be wishing for a quick flight home as a result to this good omen, but the others are content to imagine having something pleasant to see today.
The older Goku comes out of the bedroom after Koryuu. He is still dressed for bed, in nothing but a pair of striped boxer shorts, and looks half asleep, in some forced zombie-like state as he trudges into the kitchen.
Smiling in much good humor, Koryuu hands his companion a cub of coffee, having already added cream and three sugars. "You didn't have to get up, you know." he says, ruffling Goku's already tousled hair.
The older Goku takes a quick swig, grimacing a little since the coffee is still a bit bitter for him even with the cream and sugar. He blinks, slightly more awake now. "Sure I did." he responds, if a little delayed in his reaction. "I'm not going to the temple til tomorrow, so no work today. If I didn't wake up to see you off, I'd probably stay in bed til noon. I'd miss breakfast!" he adds with a sudden increase in volume.
Koryuu snickers. "Oh, the horror!" he says mockingly, clutching a hand to his chest. He laughs again, bringing his own coffee--cream, one sugar--up to his lips.
"Hey, like Mom always says, most important meal of the day." Goku grins, nonplussed. He makes a dash for the cupboards and starts rummaging, to Koryuu's great amusement. A few moments later the monkey emerges, proudly having acquired a few sweet bean buns. He tosses one at Koryuu, keeping three for himself.
The watchers look on as the pair eats and chats, still not entirely sure they understand why either of them has to be up so early. Only when Koryuu has finished eating, kissed Goku soundly in goodbye, and throws something rather like a messenger bag over his shoulder, do they understand a bit better.
When Koryuu gives his final bid of farewell, they understand a little more than they were expecting.
"Better get going. All those five-year-olds won't teach themselves." Koryuu smiles, offering a wave as he heads for the door. "I'll come home for lunch before afternoon class, okay?"
"Okay! Love you!" Goku calls.
Koryuu beams back at him from the doorway. "Love you too. Don't be a lazy slob all day, alright?" he adds with a wink, and is soon out the door.
The dim sounds of the older Goku's laughter, the reverberations of the shutting door, the sounds of stiff, breathless disbelief, all of it hangs in the air for several minutes before any of the onlookers know quite how to react.
Gojyo, mouth hanging open in a rather unseemly manner, is the first to speak.
"A…teacher? Sanzo? To five-year-old rugrats? No fucking way!"
"And yet…that does seem to be the case." Hakkai puts in, rather amused with the whole idea to be honest. They have been given clues to suggest Gonou is also a teacher, and they know flat out what Goku and Gojyo do in this reality. It seems…justifying for Sanzo to be something so out of character.
Well, for Koryuu to be anyway.
Goku, for all his poise, doesn't look a bit shocked by the news. It isn't that this information hasn't taken him by surprise, but he much more quickly takes a liking to the idea and therefore appears rather pleased with the whole thing. Much to Sanzo's dismay and annoyance, of course.
The older Goku, polishing off the last of his buns, does not maintain his mirth for very long. Right before their eyes the recent expression of comfortable humor vanishes and the brunette looks strangely melancholy. The younger Goku, straightening with a jolt when his older self absentmindedly scratches his head a little too near his gold coronet, suddenly squeals.
The others turn to him in surprise, not entirely sure whether or not this is a sound of joy or horror. Truthfully, Goku isn't entirely sure which it is either.
"What's with you?" Gojyo asks, looking Goku over as if the answer to his question must surely be in plane sight.
Goku twitches, his hands hanging at his sides almost comically, like he should be doing something with them, but can't remember what. "It's tomorrow." he says breathlessly, voice a little cracked and eyes wide. He risks a look at Sanzo, not at all taken aback to find the monk staring at him. "You remember, Sanzo. Tomorrow. The other Goku said…tomorrow they'd be practicing. And…it's tomorrow."
"What are you talking about?" Gojyo is almost upset now, since the monkey seems to be ignoring him. "Practice what?"
Goku looks a little too tongue-tied for his own good. He tries a few times to find the right words but is more preoccupied than he would like to admit. He hadn't given this whole thing much thought before now because he didn't think they would still be here to see it. Now that they are…
Recognizing Gojyo and Hakkai are both expectantly awaiting some kind of answer to what Goku is babbling about, Sanzo tosses the older monkey a fleeting, nervous glance before giving an answer himself. "The older version over there said something about practicing taking his limiter off." he explains, sounding much more matter-of-fact about it than he feels. "Apparently they're trying again today."
At first Hakkai and Gojyo wonder if they have heard wrong. The mere idea of such a thing is so out of their sphere of thought, their minds do a mental double-take. The look on the younger Goku's face says enough; Sanzo is speaking the truth and a very harsh reality might be visiting them all very soon if such things really do come to pass.
Hakkai, trying to put on a brave and impassive face, gives Goku a little piece of mind by addressing his next question to Sanzo.
"And…they implies…?"
"Kougaiji. From what the monkey said."
"Ah. And they are trying this…practice…today?"
"Hn. Yeah."
"Mm."
Gojyo turns on his companion, dumbstruck. "Mm? That's it?" he says incredulously. "We're talking about willingly and purposely letting the chimp's evil twin out for a joyride, and you say 'Mm'! Are these guys unhinged!" He whirls away from Hakkai to gesture to the older monkey who is now solemnly heading for the bathroom to ready himself for the day.
"Gojyo…" Hakkai starts, a clear warning.
"I mean…well…" Gojyo takes the hint, catching out of the corner of his eye just how pale their own monkey has become. He quickly rethinks his resent outburst. "Not that it's…a big deal, just…they better sure as hell know what they're doing. Just to be…safe, ya know."
Well covered Gojyo, Hakkai thinks with only a touch of sarcasm. He smiles and shakes his head slightly, causing Gojyo to grumble a little under his breath.
Goku, not at all ignorant to his friends' tip-toeing, resurfaces from his own thoughts and looks to them with a smile that puts Hakkai's best mask to shame.
"Don't worry about me, guys! I'm just…a little curious, is all." he says brightly, a little too brightly really, and he knows it. He knows that no matter how real his smile might look, the others probably still don't buy it. He turns quickly to Sanzo. "I said I wouldn't ask to copy him, right? And I won't. I don't…need to prove anything."
"We didn't say you did, Goku." Hakkai speaks gently. "However, you needn't feign disinterest for our sakes. There has to be a certain…appeal to the idea."
Gojyo grunts unintelligibly.
"I mean to say…there is appeal to the idea of gaining control." Hakkai mends, flicking his gaze somewhat warningly at the kappa again.
Goku smiles, this time for real, and nods happily, feeling his friends understand him well enough for nothing else to need saying. A look to Sanzo though has him feeling a heaviness on his shoulders and a lump in his throat. Sanzo is not looking at him, focused more on an apparently fascinating spot on the floor, but the expression on the monk's face is a weak attempt at apathy. In truth, Sanzo is trying so hard to appear indifferent, he looks…pained from the effort.
For the briefest of moments Goku completely forgets he is still trying to wear the monk down. Looking at Sanzo and finding…pain, worry, and the struggle to appear as if none of these emotions are in him…has Goku wondering if he should perhaps hold back.
Goku swiftly shakes his head, feeling the weight of his diadem like never before. He ignores that though and takes a deep breath. His fear will not get the better of him, and neither will his worry or sympathy. Not when he has come so far. Just because he feels so…vulnerable suddenly…doesn't mean he can give up and let Sanzo drift away. He has to keep his head, keep his confidence, and keep pushing. Or he might lose all he means to gain.
"Better hope Kougaiji comes later, monkey." comes Gojyo's slightly strained voice. "Coz right now…I think we're heading out again."
Eyes widening, Goku turns to the kappa in dismay, but much as he wants to believe otherwise, it is clear what must be happening.
"Heh…ya know…doesn't really hurt anymore…" Gojyo says, sinking down, but looking more tired than pained.
Hakkai looks the same.
Goku too feels as his friends must, only laying down on the floor in preparation for the shift, not out of need as he used to.
Only Sanzo, the monk's grimace quite clear for the others to see, appears to still be having trouble.
Catching the blonde's eye just before his vision dims into darkness, Goku tries to smile in sympathy, believing beyond a doubt now that he knows what triggers that pain. Not just denial of truth, but denial of self. Denial of one's honest desires.
For Goku, his desires couldn't be clearer.
-----
"Please, Sensei!"
"Please!"
"Just one before naptime!"
"We'll be extra good!"
"Promise!"
Koryuu laughs, so genuinely it vibrates in his chest before escaping. "We're already behind as it is…but…I suppose you've all behaved well enough this morning."
A great round of exclaimed joy erupts about the classroom from the fifteen or so children, all the age of five and most of them little girls. They gather on the floor around Koryuu, their all too eager teacher, who sits himself down in a chair set up for story time. Beside this chair is a pile of books of course, but also…a guitar. Koryuu picks the guitar up and smiles down at the bright and shining faces of his students.
At this point, the group watching is so stunned into stupefied silence, they can do little other than stare on in fascination. They had awoken from their shift just as the children were first arriving. The classroom has a little plastic playset, a fake kitchen, dolls, an art station, and countless other things the children have eagerly played with since morning. Very rarely does any of their play turn into specified learning time, this being the first time any of them have been in school, but Koryuu had lead a rather rousing number game at the start of class.
The other blonde is so naturally open and comfortable with the children, those watching were reminded instantly of their first day in this strange world, when they had been more than certain Koryuu couldn't possibly be a likeness for Sanzo. Indeed, the man's wholly happy smile and countenance is more than they can watch for very long without feeling a need to look away.
For Sanzo, this problem is the most prominent.
"Now, if I'm going to give in this time, you'll have to help me out, okay?" Koryuu begins, his voice speaking in an overly eager and cheerful manner to grasp and keep each child's attention. He seems amazingly good at this. He looks out and meets the gaze of every child, not noticing of course that there is a slightly taller brunette sitting just outside the circle of students, and that three significantly taller men are standing nearby as well. "So, today we're going to sing one of our favorites. I'll go alone first time through, and then I want everyone to join in. Understand? Can you help me today?"
"Sure, Sensei!"
"Yeah!"
"We can do it!"
"Good. Now…" he strums experimentally on the strings.
Goku sits up eagerly on his knees, peering over the many little heads in front of him to get as much of a view of Koryuu as he can. He has all but forgotten the older Goku back at the house.
Gojyo and Hakkai are equally captured by the scene, but neither even thinks to turn a humorous look in Sanzo's direction, much as they could.
Sanzo, for his part, is grateful for that, because he does not think he can keep his composure much longer with this look-a-like acting so foolish and…sweet. Genjyo Sanzo is not sweet. He just…isn't. Judging by the glazed and adoring looks of the students--girls especially--it is more than clear that Koryuu isn't just sweet, he is sweet regularly and with gusto.
Koryuu strums again, starting an even and simple chord progression before at last opening his mouth for the first lines of his song: "Rain, rain, falling, falling, Mama's on her way," he sings, "Her umbrella keeps us dry and happy on our way…" He pauses, beaming bright enough that the students know they are meant to sing along now. "Ready, everyone?" he says, and then starts to play again. "Rain, rain, falling, falling, Mama's on her way…"
Listening to Koryuu's voice above the many little voices joining it is not quite the same as having heard him sing before. His voice is softer this time, gentle and welcoming. It carries with purpose and is so simple and smooth, even though he is singing an old children's rhyme, it is a pleasure to listen to.
Goku closes his eyes, willing back a laugh for fear of masking the sounds he can hear--both Koryuu and the children alike. To him, how Koryuu is singing with the kids makes the experience even more wonderful.
By the time Koryuu has finished leading the children in several rounds of the song, and when they are finally consenting to curl up on their mats for a nap, Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku finally find the nerve and ambition to turn and take in Sanzo's reaction to all of this. The fact that he is not even remotely scowling catches them all a little unprepared, but his somber face, looking so haunting somehow is enough to have even Gojyo forget words of mocking.
"Sanzo…?" Goku prompts, keeping his voice hushed, as if the dozing students might hear him and be roused.
Sanzo doesn't look at him. "It's nothing, I just…know that song." the monk admits quietly, also pressured to keep his voice low, or…perhaps…unable to make it any louder. His lips twitch, and if the others didn't know better, they would almost guess it wanted to curve into something other than a frown. "Koumyo used to…sing that rhyme. He said…every little boy and girl learns it in school. It never occurred to me…I was singing about a mother I didn't have."
Sanzo looks up abruptly, as if suddenly aware he hadn't just beentalking to himself. He clears his throat, awkwardly avoiding any direct eye contact despite the three pairs so acutely trained on him.
"It's not important." he adds lamely, stalking off to find a more comfortable post, leaning against one of the walls. It might have struck the others as funny how he picks his feet up carefully around each child in his path, despite knowing he could walk right through them without trouble, but, somehow, it doesn't.
The others have no affiliation with the little nursery rhyme themselves--Goku would have had to hear it from Sanzo but never did, Hakkai didn't get quite the same education as most children having lived in a catholic orphanage, and the only schooling Gojyo received was from his stepmother, which certainly didn't include learning any loving songs about faithful mothers. They know their own lacking does not diminish them, but having it as an addition to Sanzo…somehow…makes the monk seem all the more human.
In more sense than mere species.
Goku doesn't even pass Gojyo and Hakkai so much as a quick glance. He gets up from his place on the floor, walks carefully around each child--just as Sanzo did--and does not stop until his feet have brought him within a few inches of his keeper. Sanzo has his head bowed and eyes closed, as if napping himself or meditating. The slight wave of tension Goku sees flit across Sanzo's jaw, however, proves the monk is aware of him standing there.
"Koryuu's really good with the kids, huh?" the monkey starts, beginning casually only for Sanzo's sake, and only because the tenderness of recent events has softened his brash determination to break Sanzo down. "I bet you could be that way too. If you weren't so freaked to get close to people, to be close, I bet you'd be…even more amazing at this than he is."
Violet eyes peek open, wanting to glare so badly, and feeling like failures for being unable to form one. "Hn." Sanzo huffs. "If that were true it would only be because--"
"You're used to dealing with kids." Goku finished with a smile, knowing the old joke and not being offended by it, much as Sanzo may have hoped for such a familiar reaction. "Yeah, I know, Sanzo. I'm a brat. I'm a stupid, annoying kid. I'm 18 and acting like it more than you can stand, but…you go ahead and keep thinking your way if you want. I don't mind. I'm not looking for you to change. Just for you to remember who you are."
Sanzo flinches, visibly, as if from some unseen blow. He forces his eyes to narrow, even if his expression still looks a little lost. "I'm not…him. I'm not." he says, hating how weak and unconvincing his voice sounds.
Goku just smiles. "I know you're not. And I just said I don't want you to be. I want Sanzo. Sanzo is just fine by me. But even Sanzo…forgets who Sanzo is sometimes." He takes another step forward, forcing Sanzo to press back into the wall to avoid sharing too much breath. "I want to know every part of you, Sanzo. The parts you hide. The parts you've buried. The parts that are a lot like Koryuu, and the parts that are nothing like him. That's what saying 'I love you' means, in case you didn't get it. It means I love you. Not him. You. Every last little part that makes you, you. Okay…?"
The moments that follow linger with such electricity, Sanzo keeps expecting Goku to lunge forward and claim another kiss. Goku is telling him flat-out what he wants, but he is not asking or seeking anything more than understanding.
Even Sanzo has to admit, that isn't the worst offer he's ever had.
"Hate to break the moment, guys, but…I think it's nap time for us too…"
Goku doesn't even blink. He had already started to feel the beginnings of the shift this time before Gojyo spoke, but he does not want to risk breaking the contact he has grasped.
Sanzo is looking back at him without contempt or anger or disbelief. There is still a little fear there, but that's to be expected. Still, Sanzo is looking and not looking away. So Goku holds onto this miracle for as long as he can, until finally, the shift forces him to the ground.
-----
Goku practically flies to his feet when he hears a knock at the door, causing him to sway slightly since the shift has only just ended, bringing them back to Koryuu and the other Goku's house. Thankfully, quick and vigilant hands secure him before he can stumble. Goku might have been surprised by Sanzo's action, but finds he is too pleased to have the monk's hands gripping his waist to care.
Flinching back as if shocked, it is instantly apparent Sanzo acted on instinct rather than intent, but even though the blonde is still playing into his fear, Goku can feel the coming glory of victory.
"Geez, Kou, I wish you would have come earlier. Kory might be home for lunch soon."
Goku whips his head to the door, seeing that his counterpart has already given entry to the owner of the knock, proving to be just who he expected.
Kougaiji.
"I would have been." the redhead explains, following behind Goku into the house. "Yaone had a false labor scare this morning."
The older Goku stops in his tracks, looking startled and a little guilty for having reprimanded his friend. "Really? Shit, man, sorry then. Just a false alarm though? No babies?"
Kougaiji smiles, apparently not at all bothered by the younger man's tense mood. "No babies. The suspense is driving her up the wall though. If Gonou doesn't win the bet for Wednesday, anyone who guessed tomorrow will probably be right. For Yaone's sake, I certainly hope so anyway." He laughs gently, so at ease, even though his own anxiousness to have the twins here and now is quite obvious.
When the older Goku starts casting one too many anxious looks at the clock on the wall, Kougaiji suggests they get started. To the onlooker's surprise, they head straight for what they had all assumed was just a closet. Once the door is open wide and allowing the pair inside, however, they see that it is stairs leading down into a cellar. They follow without question.
The younger Goku leads his companions, right on his other self and Kougaiji's heels. He sees no need to hide his excitement, since he knows the others understand, but he is still adamantly thinking that no matter what he sees, he will never outright ask to do the same in their world. He never wants to put his friends in a position where they are afraid of him. Not unless there is no other choice.
Still, if this practice somehow pays off, even he will not deny--just as Hakkai said--the appeal to gaining that kind of power.
Hakkai and Gojyo are tentative, but want to be supportive of Goku in something they know must occupy so much of his mind most of the time.
Sanzo, the last to follow down into the basement room, is purposely quiet. His mind is buzzing with all Goku has said and done the past few days, especially most recently, and with the added mystery of this 'practice' session, he is disturbed by the urges in him to comfort and protect. He has never felt such desires towards Goku before. Well…not so obviously. Again and again, Sanzo's mind keeps going back to their kiss, unwillingly back to it, and he finds himself remembering something more than shock, more than fear and frustration. For the split second he allowed himself to kiss back, he had felt a distinct surge of--
Sanzo's thoughts are disrupted with a jolt. The others have stopped just in front of him and he understands immediately why. The basement holds nothing of importance really. Except for the chains on the wall, that is.
It is a rather sobering and disturbing sight to watch Kougaiji fasten Goku securely, as if this is nothing out of the norm for them. The tightness in the older Goku's face and jaw gives away his true feelings over the matter, but his determination outweighs the rest. Those watching are not all taken aback by that determination because their own Goku seems infused with it, unwavering in front of even his toughest challenge.
Sanzo's mouth twitches like it did before, but he forces himself to be still and focus, just as the others are so steady in their watching.
Although the cellar is dark, it is light enough to see everything clearly. Especially Kougaiji's clawed hand reaching up for Goku's limiter. "Same drill as always, okay?" the youkai says, his hand hovering just before touching the cool gold. "You ready?"
With a wild thrill of emotion, the watching Goku gives an internally shouted 'yes!' and realizes he would react the same if it were him chained to the wall. He would react the same to Kougaiji being the one asking, too, because…he not only respects the youkai prince, he would trust him easily, and perhaps…already does.
"Ready?" Kougaiji asks again, his voice just above a whisper.
The older Goku nods.
Everything blurs.
It is so sudden. In a moment the coronet is in Kougaiji's hand and he has stepped back, leaving a good space between himself and the changing heretic. A cry pierces the otherwise still basement, the sound turning wild and feral all too quickly as the cries become those not of Goku…but of the beast.
Seiten Taisei Son Goku.
The watching Goku looks on in morbid vigilance, never having seen the change himself. He finds he cannot look away, absorbed fully in every detail. The way brunette hair grows longer, longer than he has ever had it, even when Sanzo first found him. The way his ears stretch out to points, fangs grow in his mouth, claws so sharp and gleaming appear on his hands, and slits become the pupils of his golden eyes.
Nothing in the sight should be surprising really. Goku knows what youkai look like, and even though he understands that he is something different from a normal youkai, he always knew he would resemble very much the youkai he has faced. But the wildness there as the change completes and Seiten Taisei lifts his slitted eyes to glare, and growls, and strains at the binds holding him back…that wildness Goku was not prepared for.
"This is what I'm like…" he whispers, closest to the chained figure, but frozen to the spot, unable to even twitch. He watches as Seiten Taisei gives a mighty lunge forward for Kougaiji, straining his bindings, though not enough to get even a few inches from the wall. The desire to kill is so clear in those eyes, Goku shudders, and before he even realizes he has moved backwards, he feels something at his back.
A hand goes to his shoulder to steady him and then the body he backed into moves away, the hand lingering only enough for him to know it had been placed there not only out of obligation but because it thought to offer comfort.
Goku does not look back to thank Sanzo, but the monk's action is enough to leave him soothed, if only a little.
"You strain every time, but they're still not going to break. Every ward I could think of has been placed over those chains." Kougaiji speaks, though it is plain the figure he is speaking to is not listening, since Seiten Taisei gives another lurch forward. Kougaiji holds out the coronet and the heretic ceases his struggling. "That's right. Behave or this goes back on now. And I know you don't want that."
Seiten Taisei growls low in his throat, but does not renew his struggling. His eyes trail over Kougaiji, sizing him up. He does not look overly impressed but does remember that he is the one currently chained to the wall.
"Good." Kougaiji says, lowing the diadem out of sight. "Now, I don't know if you remember what goes on in these sessions, but we're going to pick up right where we--"
SLAM.
Six pairs of eyes dart instantly up the stairs. No one breathes or even thinks. They wait.
"Goku!" Koryuu's voice calls from the living room upstairs. "Hey, monkey, where are you!"
Seiten Taisei lets out a strange sounding hiss, and those with their eyes still trained on the steps wonder if it is because he has just been called a monkey, or because he recognizes Koryuu's voice.
The sound of quick feet striking the steps reminds all of them that the door to the basement had not been closed behind them, and too quickly Koryuu appears at the foot of the steps, already looking somewhere between angry and fearful as if he knew the second he started down the steps just what he wound find at the bottom.
Kougaiji and Koryuu observe each other silently before Koryuu's eyes drift to the chained heretic on the wall. Seiten Taisei gives another growl and lunges to the side, suddenly desperate to break free and get at Koryuu as he had before tried to reach Kougaiji.
The redheaded youkai speaks quickly. "Don't be angry with him." he defends, his eyes looking sympathetic with understanding.
Keeping his eyes locked on the figure so desperate to reach him, Koryuu's face remains eerily melancholy as he answers. "I can be angry if I want to, Kou. It was his choice to lie to me."
"He didn't lie, he just--"
"Didn't tell me." Koryuu bites back, teeth practically grinding they are clenched so tight. "I know he doesn't like me to see him this way, but at least before he would tell me when you were going to try again."
Kougaiji sighs, careful to keep half his attention on Seiten Taisei at all times. "He didn't like how spooked you seemed after the last time, so…he asked me not to say anything. He wants to make progress before making you worry."
"That's no excuse."
Looking back and forth between the arguing men--well, man and youkai--Sanzo can't help feeling a certain justification in everything Koryuu is saying. He would feel the same after all. Goku is always so adamant about not keeping secrets, and as a rule Sanzo despises hypocrites.
Goku may or may not be on the blondes' side in this, but he certainly seems put off by Koryuu suddenly appearing. He seems to remember that Sanzo is in the room too, not just as a brief but welcome hand on his shoulder, but as a witness to this travesty of self. Goku is less disturbed than the older Goku might be, understanding that all his friends have seen him this way a number of times now, but…seeing it with them makes all the difference. He would rather no one was in the room.
What he wouldn't give for a moment with his other self--his real other self, fangs and all. That would be quite a meeting to be a fly on the wall for, he admits, and he imagines it would involve a lot of angry screaming from his end.
The anger in Koryuu seems to fade as he looks at the figure chained on the wall. He steps forward, expecting the renewed force of the creature's attempts to break free, but not upset by them. "I'm not leaving, Kou." he says, without even looking at Kougaiji as he speaks. "Goku's never let me stay, but this time he's not here to protest, is he. So I'm staying."
No sound issues from Kougaiji at all; he seems to have expected this to happen at some point, and the others wonder if perhaps he came late on purpose and not because of any false labor.
Koryuu advances a little closer. "So…what do you…do?" he asks, his voice hesitant now and whispering. Not once do his eyes leave the sight of Seiten Taisei's twisted and snarling face.
"Talk, mainly."
"Then he can speak?"
"Talking on my part. He can speak, I think, but…either he chooses not to or doesn't really understand it."
"So…what do you say?"
The watchers catch a little smile pass over Kougaiji's expression, though he suppresses it quickly. It is quite obvious he is pleased to have Koryuu there. "I try to see if I can reach him. Reach the Goku inside. See if he remembers me, if I can jog his memory by telling him things, anything that comes to mind really."
"And…does this…work? I mean, have you made any progress?" Koryuu truly sounds distant and faraway, his feet carrying him closer and closer to Seiten Taisei despite the heretic's increased struggling to get to him.
Another smile flickers. "Well…sometimes…I'm almost positive I see a little of Goku looking back at me. But…to be honest…it never stays long. A little longer each time maybe, but…I've been starting to think something bigger is needed."
For the first time since his initial look at the youkai, Koryuu turns to stare at Kougaiji. "Bigger? Like what?"
"Like…more than me." Kougaiji gives a small gesture for Koryuu to go ahead, though the blonde is somewhat stumped as to what he is supposed to 'go ahead' and do. "Just talk, Kory, and be careful. He'll understand you. I think he just doesn't get everything as clearly as he could. So you have to convince him."
Koryuu nods vaguely, perhaps more accepting of the task he has been given than most would be, but he turns back to Seiten Taisei and takes another step closer.
A truly desperate lunge this time, accompanied by a flurry of snarls, has Seiten Taisei very much in Koryuu's face. But the blonde doesn't even flinch.
"Knock it off." he commands.
The watchers are all startled, because the command sounded so much like Sanzo they are reminded rather harshly that Koryuu and their own blonde are indeed the same likeness.
Seiten Taisei too seems taken aback and his struggling stills, though not completely. He seems perplexed by the figure in front of him and sizes him up just as he did Kougaiji. Whether or not he is more impressed by Koryuu is difficult to say, but he does appear to be listening more carefully when Koryuu speaks again.
"I know you can understand me, monkey. So don't play stupid. You're not."
The watching Goku fights back a sudden grin; Sanzo has never once told him he is not stupid, and certainly not with the same force he usually uses when saying he is.
"Stop looking through me and look at me!" Koryuu shouts suddenly, though not at all desperately. He takes another brave step forward, bringing him closer to Seiten Taisei than any of the watchers have ever been without the proximity soon ending in a painful strike. "You know who I am, so tell me." Koryuu says, quietly now but just as demanding. "Who am I…?"
Seiten Taisei looks confused. His fierce, golden eyes are still narrowed and angry, his face contorted, but the gears in his mind are spinning. He hisses, but there is no distinction in it. No words.
"Who am I?" Koryuu says more forcefully, stepping even closer, perhaps close enough now for Seiten Taisei's fangs to reach him if the heretic chooses to lunge forward again. "Who? You're not an animal, speak!"
Seiten Taisei growls, not appreciating this disrespect towards him but not acting on his anger either. Instead of surging forward he seems to be searching his mind. He strains only enough from his bindings to breathe in Koryuu's scent more easily, using the information to better form his answer if he indeed chooses to give one.
Those watching cannot deny they are a little surprised when he does.
"…Konzen…" the beast says, in a voice that sounds hoarse and unused, very much like his hisses and growls.
Having heard this name several times now, the onlookers are not entirely surprised, though it still makes them wonder, since none of them understand who Konzen is. They know quite well that it is a name used to address Sanzo--the merciful goddess herself and Homura both used it--but why it is a name for Sanzo still escapes them.
Koryuu looks equally perplexed.
"Wrong. That's not my name. Who am I?"
"Konzen…" Seiten Taisei growls again, angry at being corrected and looking ready to lunge forward at any moment.
"No. And you know I'm not. My name is Koryuu." the blonde say firmly. "I'm Koryuu."
A low growl escapes Seiten Taisei, much lower and more rumbling than before--a clear warning.
Koryuu sighs. He shakes his head, not knowing what more he can say. This creature's mind is somewhere else and doesn't seem too keen on understanding Goku's world. "Don't want to be convinced, huh, monkey?" he says, his voice more gentle now as he resigns himself to think of another tactic. Instinctively, he reaches out to run his hand over the top of the brunette head in front of him, but quick teeth snap in its direction. Koryuu flinches back. "Hey. I said knock that off. I'm not a threat. If I wanted to hurt you, I could. You're chained to the wall in case you didn't notice." He moves quicker this time, suddenly having his hand lost amidst those wilder brown locks before anyone can blink.
Seiten Taisei looks the most shocked, perhaps at the impertinence, perhaps at the speed, perhaps…at the strange feel of affection in that offered touch. But regardless of his surprise, he growls. Those watching think the sound is very different this time though, more like a confused purr.
Koryuu smiles at his apparent success and turns back to look at Kougaiji, his fingers still running through the heretic's long hair. "So what else do you--ah!" His head whips back, eyes wide in pain. In the second he looked away, Seiten Taisei took the opportunity to turn his head and bite--hard. Since Koryuu's sleeves had been rolled up, sharp fangs are now dug deep into the bare skin of his forearm.
Goku takes an unthinking step forward, but stops when he remembers there is nothing he can do. Just behind him, he can hear the varied gasps and shifting of his companions, all apparently filled with the same urge to do…something.
Being the one person who CAN offer aide, Kougaiji advances forward. "Rule one: never turn your back on him." he says, though there is little humor in his voice.
Koryuu holds up his free hand to stop the redhead from coming any closer. Though he is clearly in pain, he looks steadily into the triumphant gold staring up at him. His voice is even as he speaks. "It's okay. If this is what you think you need to do…fine." he says, willing himself not to show how his arm is throbbing. "I don't mind. Like I said, I'm not a threat to you. And I'm not afraid of you, either. Get that through your thick head, monkey. Because nothing's going to change that."
Goku smiles. He can't help it, he turns back to look at Sanzo just behind him and offers his recent upturn of lips. Sanzo doesn't smile back, but Goku wasn't looking for that. He just wanted to know if Sanzo feels the same way Koryuu does. The monk's expression clearly answers with 'like I'd be afraid you.'
Turning back to the scene, Goku is quite content with that knowledge.
Seiten Taisei, however, is looking confused again and not quite so triumphant anymore. Despite the blood trickling down Koryuu's arm, most likely filling the heretic's mouth, Seiten Taisei is the one looking a little scared now, if at least disturbed. Slowly, he releases Koryuu's arm, pulling his teeth back while keeping his eyes trained on the blonde the entire time. He licks at his lips to take in any traces of blood, but seems much more concerned with the man in front of him.
Struggling to maintain his appearance of apathy, Koryuu holds his arm with his other hand, but does not pay it much mind. Instead, he looks back into the gold watching him. "Thank you." he speaks softly. "See, you don't have to hurt me and I won't hurt you. There's no reason. I love you too much to ever want to hurt you, Goku."
Seiten Taisei tilts his head, as if trying to decipher what those words mean.
When Koryuu smiles and reaches out with his uninjured arm to stroke long, brunette hair again, the watchers see Kougaiji jerk forward, but Seiten Taisei doesn't even blink. He doesn't hiss, or growl, or try again for a bite, he just…looks. And in that moment the watchers see what Kougaiji had been talking about, something those who have seen Seiten Taisei before have only rarely glimpsed.
A little bit of Goku is looking out from behind those slitted eyes.
"The wards are only so powerful, Kory. We have to put this back on him now." Kougaiji's voice sounds strange, misplaced, as if his presence in the room had been forgotten. He steps forward with the coronet.
Koryuu and Seiten Taisei are still staring at one another, but when Koryuu silently steps back, and even when Kougaiji moves to place the band of gold back on Seiten Taisei's head, the heretic doesn't protest.
All too soon there is a shudder and a soft cry, and then the older Goku is hanging limp from the chains, supported quickly by Kougaiji as he releases the young brunette and eases him to the floor. Koryuu is beside them in a second, taking Goku into his arms. He lifts the boy with ease, nods once to Kougaiji to indicate he can more than handle things from here, and heads for the stairs.
Kougaiji remains in the basement, checking over the wards on the chains, and perhaps stabilizing them for use another day. The watchers remain for some time as well, not quite capable of movement when what they have seen seems so very…impossible.
And far too tempting.
"That was dangerous and stupid." Sanzo says. His voice is not angry or biting, but his words leave no room for argument on the subject.
Goku turns back to him. "Yep."
"I mean it." Sanzo presses, assuming Goku means to contradict him.
"I know, Sanzo. Really stupid. On both our parts."
Sanzo opens his mouth to protest.
"Both their parts." Goku corrects, smiling weakly. He turns around fully, leaving Kougaiji and the chains at his back. "It's okay. I said I wouldn't ask. And I won't. I mean…if it really could be that way…if I could really…keep a little bit of me when I'm him…that would be great. But if the thought scares you too much--"
"Like I'd be afraid of you."
Goku fights back a grin at hearing the words he found earlier in Sanzo's expression. That was the reaction he was hoping for. "Right."
"And since we are not afraid," Hakkai puts in. "Perhaps we could try such a thing ourselves. With the right precautions, of course."
Eased somewhat from how he had felt before, Gojyo looks to Hakkai with mild skepticism, but soon decides to play along. "Yeah, I mean…it'd probably be the smart thing, really, in the long run. If we can control the little brat-with-fangs then…it might be a pretty handy weapon."
And it would certainly ease all our minds, the kappa adds to himself.
Goku would never have pushed for this on his own, but he is more than pleased to have his friends backing up his silent desire. It all comes down to Sanzo though, because Sanzo is the one he would most hate to hurt. Sanzo is the one he trusts to…take care of things…if they ever go wrong. Sanzo is the one…who matters most.
"Do what you like. I don't care." the monk says, offering permission in the only way he knows how. He meets Goku's steady gaze with some reluctance. "If we do this and you get loose or out of hand, I won't hesitate to shoot you."
"I know."
"I'm serious, monkey."
"I know."
"Do you?"
Goku's mouth is instantly open for another comeback, but he closes it quickly. Sanzo isn't just asking him if he understands, he's asking if Goku understands what having to shoot him would mean to him. The monk is using it as a weapon, Goku realizes, for just one more reason to turn Goku down in the end.
Sanzo would kill him, and will kill him if it comes down to it. As long as the monk doesn't love him, doesn't care, then it won't matter. But if Sanzo does love, does care, then…
"I get it, Sanzo. Really, I do. But you…you still don't."
One step…two…and Goku acts. He is through playing games, through waiting. His arms throw themselves around Sanzo's neck and he leans up until insistent lips meet the shocked and uncertain lips of another. Gojyo and Hakkai's sounds of dismay and surprise are drowned out by the action. Goku is kissing boldly this time, using his advantage of catching the monk off guard to slip his tongue past lips and teeth, tangling it with the waiting tongue of Sanzo's and pushing for as much as he can get.
Just as suddenly, the kiss is over, and Sanzo is standing quite alone and empty-handed while Goku is dashing up the stairs.
There is no precedence to know how to react, not when that was just done IN FRONT of Gojyo and Hakkai. When Sanzo has no choice but to look at his companions, who are both looking rather bemused and grinning like idiots, his wit and patience have reached an untimely end. Without so much as glowering at the others, Sanzo is soon bounding up the stairs after his charge.
tbc...
A/N: But what shall he do when he catches him? Hehehe. Favorite chapter coming up, I dare say, and then things shall start to unravel rather quickly. I might just make my goal of finishing this before returning home to the states. Yay! Well, this new system of responding to reviewers is hard for me. I'll try to be better and actually PM back when necessary, especially since some of you give such amazing comments each time that really help me (where would I be without Diva's nitpicking) but we'll see.
The song Koryuu sang to his students is indeed the translation of a Japanese nursery rhyme of sorts that I learned from my Japanese profesor. She learned it when she was young. It's as direct a translation as I could make it still keeping it rhyming. When it rains I still start in with a round of 'ame, ame, fure, fure, Kaasan ga...' but yeah. Hope you liked Kory being a teacher. It seemed so fitting, and I had that planned since the beginning. Okay, so maybe the song should have been a Chinese one, but that is always up for debate with Saiyuki related things. :-)
Sorry Gojyo and Hakkai are less in the spotlight again. The next chapter should be nice and evenly dispursed, I'd say. I'm especially pleased with the ending I have in mind, but you'll have to tell me. So...I suppose...there's about two or three parts left of this. Amazing, I know! Okay, then, keep being the wonderful reviewers you are and be happy I just gave you the longest chapter yet so quickly after the last update. :-) LOVE!
Crim