Chapter 5

Sara heard Greg's call and padded into the back bedroom.

"Not so loud, I have neighbors," Sara chastised, standing in the doorway.

"What—What happened?" Greg asked.

Greg had had a crush on Sara for a long time. She was beautiful, smart and cleverly sarcastic. And the fact that even the old sweats and t-shirt she was wearing couldn't hide her allure was making it hard for him to remember how he'd gotten over his crush. But the fact remained; he had gotten over his crush and it was because of Alex. He hoped nothing had happened.

Sara laughed. "Why do you look so worried? Don't you remember?"

Greg thought hard. "All I remember is drinking and talking about Alex."

"You mean you don't remember…?" Sara raised an eyebrow.

"We…?" Greg questioned, the worry on his face deepening.

Sara rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right!"

He let out a sigh of relief. "That's good."

"Hey!" Sara replied in indignation. "It wasn't so long ago you would have been ecstatic about waking up in my bed."

Greg swung his legs around and put his feet on the floor. He rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "I know, but that was before…"

"Before Alex," she finished his sentence.

He sighed again. "Yeah."

She walked over and sat on the bed next to him, mumbling, "Yeah, everything changed when she showed up."

"What?" Greg hadn't heard her comment.

Sara quickly responded, "That's exactly why nothing happened last night. We both…our hearts…" Sara wasn't sure how to explain.

Greg looked at her. "Yeah, I know what you mean." Then he looked at his watch. "Shit! I'm going to be late if I don't get home and get a shower."

"You'd better get going," Sara replied. "But, um, let's not tell anyone about this, ok?"

Greg stood. "Tell anyone about what?"

"Exactly," Sara said.

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As the door shut behind Greg, Sara let out a deep sigh. She'd lied to Greg about what happened, but he didn't need to know the whole truth. There really wasn't much to tell anyway, as she thought about it.

They had been having an enjoyable time at the bar. Greg talked about Alex and Sara talked about Grissom. They had shared pain in the same family. They were so lost in their conversation that neither was really keeping track of how much they'd had to drink.

After a few hours, Greg was getting sleepy and sick. Since they were closer to Sara's apartment she, in her inebriated state, invited him over to sleep it off. And he gladly accepted.

Once inside her apartment Greg asked to use the bathroom. She pointed him down the hall and then got herself a drink of water. She heard some water running, but wondered why Greg did reappear so she went to check it out.

She found the bathroom empty, but the door to her bedroom open. She walked in and saw Greg lying on the bed.

"Hey, this is my room," she informed him, slurring her words slightly.

He waved his arm in the air to dismiss her statement. Then he patted the side of the bed next to him and replied, "There's enough bed here for both of us. I'll be good, I promise." He clumsily crossed his heart to emphasis his promise.

She was tired, intoxicated and didn't feel like arguing. She pulled off her jacket and shoes and then lay on the bed next to him.

After a few minutes, Greg started to roll onto his side and so did Sara. They ended up face to face. They stared at each other for a moment and then something took over—probably the alcohol. They kissed.

Sara was surprised by the kiss; it was actually good. She'd always thought kissing Greg would be like kissing her brother, but it wasn't. It was tender yet firm and no one had kissed her like that in a while.

She, for a brief moment, entertained the thought of letting it go further. If his kiss was any indication, the rest would be very enjoyable. Plus, she knew, it would hurt Grissom and Alex. Well, she knew it would hurt Alex; Grissom would never let on whether or not it bothered him. And it would ruin any chance she may have with him. She also realized, it would hurt Greg as well and she didn't want that.

She pulled away from his kiss and got out of bed. She grabbed a pillow and headed for the couch. No more temptation for her. Greg just rolled over and went to sleep.

She shook her head at the remembrance. She couldn't believe she had actually considered sleeping with Greg. Had her life really gotten that bad? Man, I need a real date, she thought as she walked back to the bathroom. She needed a shower too before she went into work. She only hoped, as she got ready, that Greg wouldn't remember.

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Grissom sat in his office, staring at his name scrawled by an obviously agitated hand on an envelope. He saw the sad irony of the letter; it was one letter that had been his first word of his daughter and another that would have been his last. The hospital had found the letter in Alex's back pocket when she was admitted. When he came to see her, they gave it to him. But he hadn't opened it. He hadn't been able to bear to look at it for fear of the guilt it might contain.

He wasn't as oblivious to people's feelings as every thought he was. After Alex was cleared of the murder charges, Grissom could feel the strain in their relationship. He knew Alex was making an effort to forgive him and he thought he was making an effort to be there for her. It was now apparent he hadn't done a good job.

After picking Alex up and letting her go, he needed to look at the letter. He wanted to be prepared when—if—she returned. He slowly opened the letter and pulled it out. He read:

Gil,

I'm sorry I've been such a disappointment. I know all I've been since I showed up is trouble. I hope one day you might forgive me. I love you, but you deserve better.

Alex

Grissom removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was trying to fight back his emotions. The letter only contained four sentences, but it spoke volumes to his heart. He let out a labored sigh.

As he sat trying to contain his emotions, there was a knock on his door and he looked up. "What—what can I do for you, Nick?" He put down the letter.

"Hey Gris," Nick started, then noticed the expression on his face. "Is everything ok?"

"Everything's fine," Grissom dismissed Nick's concern.

Grissom had always thought highly of Nick. From the first day they started working together, Grissom had known Nick would go far. He was intelligent, personable and willing to learn. He also admired the fact the Nick had shunned his easy career from nepotism in Texas and struck out on his own. And now, after Nick had saved his daughter twice, he knew his esteem was well placed.

Nick paused for a moment, not knowing if he should push the issue. Ultimately he decided to let it go. He asked, "I was just wondering if you'd heard from Alex recently? I know she got out yesterday, but I haven't heard or seen her since," Nick responded.

Grissom furrowed his brow at the mention of Alex. He didn't know that no one else knew Alex had gone. "She left, Nick," he responded bluntly.

Nick paused again as his heart sank. She hadn't said good-bye to him. "Left?"

"She didn't tell you?" Grissom questioned, noting the sadness in Nick's voice.

"I didn't know," Nick responded. "When will she be back? She is coming back, right?"

Grissom didn't know how to answer because he didn't really know the answer. "She said she'd be back, but she said even she didn't know when."

"Oh, ok," he replied, disappointed. "Well, if you hear from her, let her know I was asking about her."

"It's the least I can do," Grissom responded and then Nick left.

Nick slowly walked down the hall, his heart breaking. He knew Alex hadn't been happy with him, but hoped it was just a passing phase. However, with the information Grissom just passed on, he wasn't so sure she'd ever forgive him. If she wouldn't even say good-bye to him, how could he ever expect her to love him?