Chapter 8
As Alex drove, she figured she'd better call Nick to see if he was home. She looked over to her passenger seat where her cell phone normally was, however this time it wasn't there. Shit, where'd it go? She thought as she looked around, trying to keep her eyes on the road as well.
At one intersection where she was stopped, she turned on her overhead light to try and find the phone. She finally spotted it on the floor. After a few unsuccessful attempts, she knew it was out of her reach. She decided she'd just have to show unannounced and hope he was there.
Nick was home. He sat on the edge of his couch, his head resting in his hands. His body was shaking from his sobs. At this moment, he was too distraught to be proud. He just wanted to cry.
He'd been so hurt when Alex had attempted suicide. He never understood why she couldn't reach out to him. He tried to rationalize her behavior. He understood the stress a mind had to be under to want to cease existing. But he'd been there for her, or at least he had tried his best. And after everything, when she left without a good-bye, he couldn't bear it. .
Now she was back. He'd just started to be able to cope, to not let his own despair over come him. Here she was again, to threaten all he'd accomplished. And to top it all off, she'd gone back to Greg. After all Greg's doubts and empty promises, she still chose him. His mind flooded with all the fears and doubts he'd ever known.
In the midst of his tears, he heard a knock on the door. He didn't move to answer it. He didn't care who it was.
On the other side of the door, Alex could hear Nick's cries and it wrenched her heart. She knew she was the cause. She knocked again, this time calling his name. "Nick," she said softly through the door. "Nick, please answer the door."
Nick grew quiet at the sound of her voice. He knew it was her. He just didn't know if he could face her.
She knocked a third time. "Please Nick, I need to talk to you," she begged, her voice wavering with emotion.
Before he realized what was happening he was at the door. As much as he knew it would hurt, he needed to see her. He quickly wiped his eyes and opened the door just enough for him to fit in the doorway.
"What?" he shakily answered the door.
"Nick, I need to talk to you," she replied, taking a step to come in but he didn't move.
"About what?" his voice was steadier this time.
She looked him straight in the eyes, trying to read what he was thinking. "Can I come in, please?" she requested.
He hesitated for a moment and then he opened the door wider. "Sure," he exhaled.
He didn't hold the door for her, only walked into the apartment. She followed him inside and closed the door behind her. He didn't turn around; his back was still facing her. She touched his shoulder. This caused him to turn around and look at her.
"Nick, I owe you the biggest apology," she said, again looking him directly in the eye.
He seemed a little taken aback, like he had expected her to say something else. And he had. In fact, he'd expected anything but what she said.
"I, I was totally selfish," she paused, her eyes starting to tear. "You were—are—such a good friend and I just pushed you aside. When Greg and I talked about you—"
Nick's demeanor changed at the mention of Greg. He knocked her hand off his shoulder. He angrily retorted, "Instead, let's you and I talk about Greg. How's he doing? Happy that you took him back?"
Alex was shocked at his change in demeanor and confused by his statement. "Take him back?"
"Yeah, I saw you at the hospital, kissing," he sneered, his anger apparent on his face.
She started to say something, but stopped. "I kissed him on the cheek," she told him.
Nick shook his head, not believing her. "And you told him you loved him," his voice was once again shaky.
"Nick," she softly said. "Did you not hear the rest of the conversation?"
"I didn't need to hear the rest of it," he seemed disgusted at the thought.
She put her hand on his arm. "Nick, if you'd heard the rest of the conversation, you'd know why I'm here." She motioned for him to sit on the couch; he obeyed and she sat next to him.
She let out a deep sigh. "Ok, here goes. Yes, I told him that I loved him but—"
Nick looked down. He had to use all of his might to fight the tears he felt coming. She placed her hand under his chin, like he had done so many times to her, and lifted his head.
"But," she emphasized. "Only as a friend. He hasn't been there for me…not like you. And it was Greg who made me see how much I'd hurt you by my actions. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm so sorry." She stopped as her sorrow got the best of her.
After a moment, she regained her composure. "I've been thinking so much while in Phoenix and you were right."
"Right about what?" Nick asked.
"That day when you kissed me, I did feel something. I just didn't want to admit it. But Nick," she put her hand on his knee. "After everything that's happened I realized I need someone who believes in me, who trusts me, whom I can believe in."
She took another deep breath. "Nick, I need you. I lo—"
"Wait," Nick interrupted her, not knowing if he could, at this moment in time, handle what she was about to say. "This has all been so much. I need time."
Alex nodded in understanding. "I guess I should go, then," she said, standing up.
He stood too, confirming her inclination. She walked over to the door, disappointed. She turned the knob and started to open the door. But it slammed shut.
Alex was startled by the door's sudden movement. She turned and saw Nick standing behind her; he had closed the door.
"That's enough time," he told her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. Then he pressed his lips against hers. The kiss held so much emotion, that it overloaded Alex's senses; her heart stopped. When he pulled away, she exhaled, not realizing that her breathing had ceased as well.
She smiled and hugged him tighter. She put her lips to his ear and whispered, "I love you."
He tightened his arms around her and let out a sigh. He'd waited so long to hear her say that and it was everything he hoped it would be. "I love you, too."
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Epilogue
Alex was sitting on Nick's couch, flipping through a magazine. She was waiting on him to finish getting ready. It was their one-month anniversary and they were going to dinner.
"Are you ready yet?" Alex called to him.
He walked down the hall. "Almost."
She looked up to see how ready he was and let out a small laugh.
"What?" he asked, stopping at his place in the hall.
"I'm sorry," she giggled. "It's the moustache and the way you were walking down the hall. Cheesy 70's music started going through my head and I was about to ask how you intended to pay for the pizza."
Nick let out a laugh. "I'll shave it off if you really don't like it that much," he offered, walking into the bathroom.
She shook her head, still smiling. "It's ok, really." Then she mumbled, "I'm just jealous. I wish I could grow a mustache."
He poked his head out of the bathroom and cocked an eyebrow. "You want to grow a mustache?"
She let out another giggle; she didn't think he'd heard her. "Not literally, figuratively."
His questioned look deepened.
She decided to explain. "I just mean it's been hard to find a job after…everything. I can change my hair all I want, but I can't hide my face, not like a moustache or beard does. It's gotten so bad I've been thinking about changing me name."
Nick walked out of the bathroom. "To what?" he asked and then walked into the bedroom.
Alex spoke a little louder so Nick could hear, "Oh, I was thinking maybe back to Corbett or possibly Grissom. But I know if it was Grissom, I'd have to ask Gil first and I just don't know how to broach the subject with him."
She didn't receive a response from Nick, so she went back to flipping through her magazine.
A minute later, Nick came out of the bedroom and gave his belated response. "I was thinking about you changing your name, too," he told her, walking towards her position on the couch.
"Oh?" she replied, thinking he was joking.
"Yeah, I was thinking Alexandria Gillian Stokes sounded good," he answered.
Her hand froze in mid page flip. She turned to look at him. He was on one need beside her, holding a beautiful diamond ring. Her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped.
"Alex, will you marry me?" he asked.
She looked at the ring and then at the smile on his face and then back at the ring. There were so many things going through her mind.
"Is that a yes?"
She didn't realize she hadn't answered him. "Yes. Yes! Of course, yes!" she exclaimed.