Words Left Unsaid
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Prologue
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing of avatar! It is a sad and devastating truth but with therapy I've been able to come to terms with the fact that Nickelodeon does in fact, have all rights to Avatar: The Last Airbender. Honestly, if I did own it, it would contain quite a few more scenes like the following… hehe…
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
On with the story…
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
It was dark, the moon was not out tonight so she had only the stars to light her way. She slowly sat up, her entire body tense and her ears alert. She gently pushed back the thick material of her sleeping bag and slipped her shoes on. Her heart began to beet against her chest; its pounding reverberating though her ears as she quietly crept away.
The further she got to the edge of their campsite, the more the dark seemed to engulf her, until all she could see was the faint light of dying embers through scattered branches. She turned away and made her way down a secret path.
The path was not really a trail, just a series of marks to be interpreted, although that was not a truly challenging task. A scrap of bark missing here, a burn mark there, most often both combined. It was a secret predetermined code, although in all honesty it would not have been hard for an outsider to decipher if they put a bit of thought into it.
There was a piece of bark violently torn from the trunk of an upcoming tree, a fresh burn mark present at the upper tip of the wound. She brushed her fingers against it gently. It was still fairly warm. She was rather glad it was his turn to find a meeting place; she wouldn't have wanted to scout out this particular island. It was far to crowded with trees and brush, too many rocks and they were a bit to far away from water for her taste.
Seeing another marking, this time torn horizontally with a burn marking to the right, she turned left.
The girl continued to walk without finding another mark right away. This didn't concern her at first, but after ten minutes of waking in the same direction she began to grow frustrated. Her long fingers began to fiddle with the loose bit of hair at the end of her braid. She turned around, intending to see if she might have missed his mark.
There was a rustling behind her, a hand clamped over her mouth and another wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her up against a hard, warm body. A cold metal belt buckle pressed into the small of her back, sending a familiar but affective sensation up her spine. She felt lips against her ear, hot breath slowly blowing from them. "Boo," he whispered. She could feel his face muscles tighten against the side of her face. He was smirking.
She turned in his arms and ran one hand over his pale face, the other sliding behind his neck; she stood on her tip toes and leaned into him brushing her lips against his ear as he kissed her neck.
"Were you trying to scare me?" she asked, her voice deceivingly innocent.
"Of course." He answered coyly, not stopping his assault of her neck.
"Well, it didn't work; you'll have to try harder next time." She rolled her head to the left, making her neck more accessible to him. He bit down on her tender flesh, not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to hurt.
"Really?" he asked slowly, brushing his lips up and down the side of her neck. He didn't wait for her to answer before continuing.
"Well, would this scare you?" He wrapped one hand around her back and the other under her leg, picking her up as he backed her up against a tree. He pressed his body into her, forcing his knee between hr legs. He brought the hand that had occupied her leg up to her hair and pulled on the ribbon that bound it. He let it fall loose, buried his hands in it, and yanked, hard.
"Ah!" She let out a surprised gasp, but she was smiling. She liked it when he was a little rough, and he knew it.
"Not quite," She answered defiantly before closing her water colored eyes and kissing him ferociously.
She forced his lips apart with her tongue, placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed away from him causing him to fall backward, bringing her with him. Her hand automatically slid up his neck to cup the back of his head as they fell. His hands tightened around her waist, keeping her on top of him. Their lip-lock never broke. Finally he rolled over, pinning her beneath him, both of his hands holding her arms above her head. Her legs wrapped around his waist forcing him to collapse on top of her. She arched her back and broke their kiss.
He let go of her hands and sat up. She followed him, sitting on his lap with her legs spread on either side. She began to unfasten his upper body armor. It fell away in pieces until only a baggy gray shirt was left. She pushed her self onto her knees so that her weight no long rested on him. Her hands slid down to the small space between their bodies and she undid the metal belt buckle that held his leg armor in place. The pieces fell away from his waist and limp against the sides of his legs.
She began to run her hands back around his neck as he did the same to her waist. He pushed her backward so that he was again lying on top of her. His armor completely fell off behind him so all he was left in were plain, grey training clothes. Again he pushed her arms aside and made as if to kiss her, but stopped just an inch away form her lips.
"You know," he whispered, staring down at her, his eyes directly focused on hers, "we're crazy." For a moment he looked almost scared, as if he had just realized this to be true.
"Yes, well, it's not my fault you're busy being in lust with me." She responded smiling innocently. His hands slid up her arms so that his palms rested in hers and their fingers entwined.
"She it is." Her responded as his lips began to trail down the space between her small breasts, gently forcing aside her loosely bound shirt.
"How so?" She asked, her voice breaking as she closed her eyes and arched her back.
"Because, you kissed me first." His breath was hot against the newly exposed skin of her torso.
"You kissed me back," she answered, barely able to keep her voice steady. For a moment he didn't say anything. He continued to push her shirt aside until he reached her securely tied belt. He gave her belly button a small lick and pulled his body back up so that his face hung inches from hers.
"I wouldn't have kissed you first though."
"Then you're not in lust with me." She responded, half amused, half thoughtful. He let go of her left hand and brought his right hand up to the side of her neck, caressing it gently.
"I happen to have certain parts of my anatomy telling me otherwise," he growled dangerously. His golden eyes flashed somewhat playfully, somewhat desperately before he forcefully kissed her. Not allowing their kiss to break, he swung back up so they were sitting as they had only a moment before.
She rolled her hips around slowly, grinding them against his pelvis as he slipped his hands inside of her shirt and began to run them up and down her sides. He let out a low moan. One of her hands ran up the back of his neck and came around so that it held the base of his pony tail. For a moment she let her fingers fiddle with the red ribbon that held it in place before yanking on it, letting his hair fall free, just as he had done to hers.
Suddenly he broke the kiss and whispered, "My turn." He pulled his hands out of her shirt and away from the smooth curves of her body. He grabbed the light blue cloth of her shirt and he roughly pulled it off of her, leaving the tie that had held it in place around her small waist. Instantly as shiver ran up her spine. He began to do the same to her pants but suddenly, he stopped.
"What's wrong?" She whispered brushing her fingers against his cheeks.
"What if," he started, but then paused, looking down to the side.
"What?" She pulled back a little and pushed his chin up so that he would have to look at her.
"Forget it." He said angrily burying his head in the nape of her neck, sucking and tugging at her tan skin. It hurt a bit and she liked it. A part of her was tempted to do just as he'd said, to completely forget that anything was wrong with him. But the part of her that wasn't ruled by teenage hormones was worried about him.
She bent down, causing him to lose his contact with her shoulder and captured his lips with her own. After a moment she broke away and leaned into him, letting her forehead rest against his.
"Tell me," she whispered. It wasn't a demand, it was a plea. He ran his hands down her arms again and held her hands tightly between his, kissing and sucking gently on her finger tips.
"What if I'm not in lust with you?" He asked her, sounding both confused and angry. He glanced up at her, some unknown sadness flashing in his eyes, an anxiety hiding beneath the surface. The way he looked at her, it was almost as if he was pleading with her to understand. For a moment she didn't respond, just staring at him questioningly and then her eyes widened.
"What-" She cut him off, kissing him hard and passionately, in a way that she had never let herself kiss him before. She forced her whole body against his causing him to fall backward. After a moment she broke away from him, he just looked up at her in surprise.
"Let me ask you something first, 'kay?" She asked, smiling somewhat nervously. She began trailing kisses down his neck, finally allowing her head to rest on his chest. He laced his fingers through her long messy brown hair and tugged it upward, forcing her to face him. Again he looked almost scared; although it was obvious he was trying, probably on a subconscious level, to look frightening.
"What if I said, theoretically, that I was in love with you?" His hands fell away from her hair and he quickly sat up. She didn't fall off him though, just sat comfortably in his lap, her eyes not leaving his beautiful face.
"I'd ask you why." It was a whisper, almost so quite that she didn't hear. He didn't sound angry, he sounded afraid.
"And I'd tell you that the reason is simply because you're perfectly imperfect." He didn't say anything. He didn't' move. His body still was pressed against hers, but this time it was different; his hands didn't move to touch her, his lips weren't parted, he was completely rigid.
She forced her body closer to his bringing his head rest against her naked chest and wrapping her arms around him tightly, as if trying to protect him. He slowly slid his arms around her waist and allowed him self to let out a deep breath that he hadn't know he was holding. She waited a moment, but finally continued.
"I'd tell you that I love you because no matter how infuriating you can be you always do something that makes me forget my anger. You can act immature and stubborn, but for every little flaw I find there are compensations. More than that because you let me see those flaws, which make you so human." She smiled as she brought her hand up to run it over the scar that covered his left eye.
"I'd tell you that I love you because you are my equal on so many different levels, but still you challenge me. I'd tell you I love you because you make me fell alive, because I feel like I don't have to hide any part of my personality around you. I can be completely free with you. Even if you don't like something about me you'll accept it, not try to change it, and I can do the same for you." She bent her head downward, burying her face in his soft black hair.
"But most of all," she continued, his hot breath coming out in short steady gasps against her breast, "I love you so much because you love me too." She finished as she gently ran her fingers up and down his back. She kissed the top of his head, her long wavy chestnut tresses cloaking both of them.
They remained like that for a few more minutes. Finally he let out a sigh and looked up at her. She stared at him for a minute and then he kissed her; at first it was passionately vicious, as if he was releasing every bit of anger, hate and hurt he'd ever felt. His hands ran up her back and he squeezed her upper arms tightly, pulling her toward him. Slowly the kiss became needy, desperate, and then gentle. He broke way, his hands loosening, but his lips not moving more than an inch from hers. "I told you we were crazy," he whispered.
"Yeah, we are, but I wouldn't have it any other way." He let go of her and pulled off his shirt. He smoothly wrapped it around her and lay down. She gently came to rest on top of him, her head nuzzled under his chin, and his hands casually resting at the small of her back.
"What are we going to do?" He asked, more to himself then to her, trailing his fingers up and down her spine.
"I suppose we're just going to have to keep hiding, after all, nothing has changed." He sat up abruptly and looked at her as if she had betrayed him.
"What?" He asked, in a frantic whisper, his eyes wide and panicked. She didn't answer right away, instead repositioning herself on his lap and letting her elbows rest carelessly on his shoulders.
"Well," she started calmly, "we've been doing this for months and I've been in love with you almost since the beginning, maybe even before. My being in love with you isn't going to change now."
His expression softened. He again brought his head down to nuzzle the nape of her neck, as if hiding for embarrassment. She bent down and began placing tender kisses across his cheek. She brushed her nose against his and smiled. His eyes were closed but he must have known she was smiling because he smiled too.
A small crack of a tree branch or twig could be heard in the background, as well as the chirping of crickets, but neither thought anything of it, it was peaceful.
After a moment she crawled off of his lap and laid down, her right hand supporting her and her left hand guiding him down so that he lay beside her. Her lips brushed against his, but neither made any further move. They just lay their in the other's loose embrace, it wasn't a cold night, the air was warm and the ground was soft.
After what must have been hours the girl opened her blue eyes only to find herself staring into the golden eyes of the boy beside her. "You know," she said, "we've got to go back soon, we've never stayed away quite this long. It's almost dawn."
"Yes, I know." He slowly sat up, crossing his legs and hunching over, his elbows resting on his knees. She sat right in front of him mirroring his position. His head fell forward as hers did the same and they came to rest like that, his nose nearly touching hers. For a moment they remained in that position but silently, gradually the girl stood up. Her hand did not leave his so he stood too. She reached up pecked him on the lips.
"Goodbye, for now." She whispered and began slowly walking back the way she had come.
One step at a time she reversed his marks. Part of her wanted him to try to follow her, to stop her from leaving. She took another step forward. Part of her wanted to go back to her brother and friend just as she had always done before and pretend that the encounter had never happened. Two more steps. Part of her wanted to be around no one, to just be left all alone to cry her heart out, for all the conflict and confusion running through her, all the misery and happiness. A few more steps. Part of her wanted to scream and let the whole world know what she was feeling, without care for what her brother would think or worrying about the war going on. Four more. Part of her wanted to feel nothing. Five or six more, she'd stopped counting. Most of her was filled with too much happiness to care about those other impulses at the moment. Seven, eight, nine more, she wasn't keeping track.
She was back at their campsite. She'd been running and hadn't even realized it. She took a deep breath. Her brother was still asleep, but her friend wasn't.
He was sitting on top of his sleeping roll, which had been neatly made up, tied in all the right places, but not yet rolled. He didn't say anything, but his eyes didn't leave her as she made her way back into the clearing.
"Aang…" she trailed off, not sure what to say. She wanted to ask him how long he'd been awake or if he'd followed her, how much he knew. But she couldn't say anything else. Her eyes were wide with fear. Suddenly none of the excuses that she'd already worked out in her mind, months before, just incase this very thing happened, seemed to sound good enough.
She continued to make her way toward him, her feet moving automatically. She sat down on her sleeping roll, which was next to his. She didn't look at him directly, but he continued to stare at her.
"Katara," he finally asked, "Where were you?" His voice was soft and innocent, childish.
"I," she paused, glanced up at him and let out a sigh. "It's a long story, one that I doubt you'd want all the details of." She glanced down to her right, remembering.
"Why don't you just tell me a lie?" He asked faintly.
Her head jerked up in surprise. At first she couldn't make her mouth move, the words couldn't form on her tongue; she couldn't only stare at him. "H-How long have you known?" She let out shakily. Her whole body was shaking, she thought that she would have been crying, but somehow was completely incapable of doing so.
"Well, I didn't know what you'd been doing, I still don't really. I know you've been sneaking off at night for a long time, but this is the first time I followed you." He answered his voice high-pitched and nervous, afraid of what her answer would be.
"Aang, I'm sorry. I didn't want you and Sokka to find out…" again she couldn't finish her sentence, her voice leaving her in the middle.
"Sokka doesn't know." He told her simply, his curious eyes following hers as they flickered back and forth.
"I know you're mad at me, I deserve it." She whispered, not letter he eyes meet his. A subconscious sign of being properly ashamed.
"I'm not mad at you." He told her quietly. She looked up at him; his head was hanging, his eyes were down cast and his hands were folded in his lap, his thumbs twiddling nervously. He was the perfect picture of misery.
"What are you going to do?" he asked her, still not looking up.
"I'm not sure." She answered him.
"Why'd you do it?" He asked this time looking up, he sounded more confident, hurt, but curious to. He sounded as though he needed to understand.
"It's a long story." She told him, feeling more guilty then she had thought was humanly possible.
"I have time." He responded simply, lacing his fingers together.
"I'll tell you, although, I doubt if you'll understand it all, I'm not sure I do." He nodded. "But first, will you tell me why you followed me this time, and not the others."
Again he nodded, bringing his hands up so that his chin rested on his laced fingers. "I didn't follow you right away, but you we're gone for a lot longer than normal so I got worried." She let out a small laugh in appreciation of the irony. Time, that had been the very thing she was concerned about, apparently her fears were correctly placed.
"You don't have to tell me. I trust your judgment Katara." He told her when she didn't immediately respond to him.
"I will, but just not yet. I'm not sure I'd be able to explain it very well… I don't understand everything myself." She closed her eyes as she spoke. It was so strange, the way she had so quickly transitioned into a different mindset. She was a different person when she was with Sokka and Aang, she was in a helpless against any negativity or emotional strain; it was the personality she reserved for them and she couldn't shake herself out of it.
"I understand. We should get so sleep." He responded, laying down on his sleeping role and turning away from her.
She copied his movements after snuggling into her own. Her fists held her blanket up to her chin tightly. She lay like that, completely stiff for at least an hour, sleep not coming to her. Finally her chin began to jitter and she let out a small gasp. She blinked and warm liquid leaked from beneath her eyelids. For the first time, in a very long time, Katara silently cried herself to sleep.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Okay, this is my first fanfic, I've read a few, but I'm not terribly experienced… I'm fairly new to Avatar fandom. I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with this; it kinda started out as a one-shot. I'm not sure if I'll just leave it as it is or continue it; if I do I've already got it pretty much planned out. I'll let you guys decide though. I'd appreciate reviews because, well, my cat thinks its great, but he's a bit of a partial judge (the tuna can I'm holding, might have something to do with it… ) Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!