Disclaimer: I disavow all ownership, creative or legal rights, and inspiration of Star Trek Deep Space Nine, any and all other Star Trek series, etc.
Note: contains reference (kind of a summary, actually) to my other story The Reilu Compromise.
Chapter 16
"I'm what!"
"Pregnant," Bashir repeated.
"That's impossible. I haven't been with anyone since Odo."
"Odo," he said, "is the father."
Kira gaped at him. "You can't be serious. That's completely...not possible."
"I would have thought so, but the evidence proves otherwise. As near as I can figure it, your...condition...resulted from Odo's morphogenic matrix coming in contact with your genetic material. I won't speculate on the circumstances."
"But...but I haven't even seen Odo in over five months!"
"There's no way to tell how long ago it happened," Bashir explained. "Her DNA is identical to yours, so we wouldn't have found it during your regular physical. She appears to be about the size of the infant changeling Quark sold to Odo. For all we know, she could be years old already."
Kira pressed her hand to her flat abdomen. Disbelief was giving way to amazement.
Vo'xa spoke. "We think it's developed enough to safely be born at any time."
"But, of course, we can't be sure," Bashir amended, "since this pregnancy has no precedent we're aware of."
She was no longer paying attention to them; her mind was racing. Odo said that changelings couldn't reproduce. If what Bashir told her was true, it could prove to be the salvation of their species. She suddenly remembered the vision the Prophets sent her: they told her this would happen. She knew the child's name as though it, too, had been bestowed by the Prophets: Cerunvic, ancient Bajoran for "Golden Light."
"Imzadi, I'm home," Nshevalth called as she entered the quarters she shared with her husband. It had been a long day. She realized Burnau might already have gone to bed, though he usually stayed up at least long enough to greet her.
No one answered. He was probably already in bed, or maybe something had come up at work that kept him late.
She went to the replicator to get a light dinner, then sat down at the small Betazoid mahagony dinner table and smiled at the centerpiece, a stylized glass replica of Andorian Twilight Lilies in an ancient Earth vase of a gentle grey-green color. Behind it on the wall was a pre-warp Orion tapestry depicting a scene from a creation myth. On a nearby shelf were replicas of ancient books and scrolls from various cultures. Burnau had always been a history buff, and what the Tzenkethi Autocracy disparagingly labelled a 'xenophile,' and his eclectic tastes reflected both these traits. She, in contrast, was a minimalist. Her contributions to their quarter's decor consisted of a layout that left at least twice as much empty space around a piece of furniture as it occupied, and a few small momentos she'd brought from Tzenketh, such as holophotos of her family.
These quarters definitely felt like home.
After putting the remains of her meal in the recycler, she went to the bedroom, where, she was surprised to find, Burnau was still awake, staring out the window.
"I thought you were asleep."
He didn't answer her. He didn't even move.
Nshevalth began to worry. "Burnau, what's wrong?"
He wasn't allowing her to pick up on his thoughts, which didn't happen often.
She moved to where she could see his face, which was tight with extreme concentration.
"Burnau?"
"Go to bed, Nshevalth."
She couldn't remember him ever speaking so sharply to her.
"Tell me what's wrong."
"I can't talk right now." His concentration was slipping. Nshevalth picked up on wisps of emotion.
"Please just tell me," she implored.
"It's the...the exobiologist from the Beta Quadrant. I touched her mind, Nshevalth...I saw her mind and now I can't get it out." He squeezed his eyes shut.
Burnau had told her stories of powerful telepaths suffering mental breakdowns from thoughts or memories that were too painful to confront. There were even occasional "sympathetic suicides."
"Give it to me," she said. "Let me carry some of it for you. Please."
"I can't do that."
Nshevalth lifted her hand to him. Though Betazoids weren't touch-telepaths, she knew from experience that physical contact could enhance the connection, and that it would break his concentration enough that he would automatically reach out to her telepathically, like a stumbling child grasping the hand of a nearby adult. The moment her fingers brushed his temple, she got a flash from his mind.
Bodies. Blood. Black. Red. Screams. Survivors falling to the ground, shrieking, praying for death. A stabbing sense of failure. Guilt.
Nshevalth had seen death and suffering, both in the war and in the form of public tortures and execution on her home planet. The striking thing about the memory was the emotion, the unquestionable certainty that every single death was her fault.
"What did she do?" Nshevalth asked shakily.
"I don't know. She tries so hard to push it from her thoughts. She tries so hard..." He trailed off. His eyes opened. He stared out at some distant star and concentrated on it like his life depended on pushing everything else from his mind.
Nshevalth stooped down to look at his face more closely. "Burnau?" she said.
He continued to stare. Nshevalth wasn't even sure he could hear her anymore.
Vo'xa didn't need to ask direction to the quarters assigned to her in the habitat ring; she had seen the layout of the station once, and now it was stored permanently in her Tenix implant. She was grateful for that, since it was deep in the night by the time she and the human doctor had finished creating the antidote to the nairait. The three former nairoids were resting in the Infirmary. They would be fit to return to duty in a day or two.
Vo'xa, exhausted as she was, smiled. She took great satisfaction from her work.
Ro watched her from the upper level. When she saw what turbolift Vo'xa was heading for, she got there first and waited for her.
Vo'xa stepped on to the turbolift with a polite smile to Ro.
"Habitat ring," Ro instructed the computer. She watched Vo'xa out of the corner of her eye.
"This place is quiet this time of day," Vo'xa observed conversationally.
"Yes." Ro finally gave the other woman a direct look. "You're the captain of that Beta Quadrant ship that came in earlier today, aren't you?" Her tone had started conversational, then became accusatory, and ended inquisitively. Ro realized she was nervous. For some reason, the alien reminded her of Captain Picard, and made her feel very young.
"Yes I am. My name's Vo'xa. May I ask who you are?"
"Ro Laren. I'm the chief of security for the station."
Vo'xa nodded to herself. "I had a feeling I would be meeting you at some point. I assume you've already acquainted yourself with the rest of my crew?"
"Somewhat," she answered carefully. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. One of my deputies has some concerns about one of your crew. He's a telepath…"
"Is this about Tairis?" Vo'xa asked, suddenly sounding more serious than she had.
"That's right," Ro confirmed.
Vo'xa closed her eyes. "I wish someone had informed me there was a telepath on board. There are a few Beids gifted with telepathy, but none of them have gone to work with BYSEV for years. I've heard unofficial reports that the Beid telepathic community has been actively avoiding Tairis."
"Tell me about her."
"I'm afraid there's not much I can tell you about her. Early in my BYSEV career, While I was assigned to a ship on a survey mission, we picked up an unusual distress signal coming from an uninhabited planetoid. When we went to investigate, we discovered a stasis chamber with an alien from an unknown species. It was Tairis. We had no way of knowing how long the stasis chamber had been there, and she never told us how she got there."
"And you trust her?"
"With my life and the lives of my crew. I've worked with her closely for longer than you've been alive." She paused. "I'm going to need her if we have trouble with the nairait. Maybe you should consider giving your deputy a vacation until this is over."
After considering it briefly, Ro accepted that that was the most sensible plan.
Kira couldn't sleep. She was still too dazed from the doctors' diagnosis. She decided to take a late-night walk around the station and ended up, almost by accident, in the quiet corner of Upper Pylon Three where she sometimes went to watch the Wormhole. It was quiet now, and no ships were scheduled for the next few days, but she could tell the exact point of the Wormhole's event horizon from the pattern of stars behind it.
Her hand drifted of its own accord to her stomach.
The Prophets were there. The Prophets who, months before, had given her a vision about the child she would have. And beyond the Wormhole was the Gamma Quadrant...and Odo.
Kira suddenly realized she wasn't alone. She looked over at one of the Beta Quadrant aliens--the Yniln, Ia Zh--who was standing as still as a statue, apparently meditating.
"I hoped I would have an opportunity to talk with you," he said without looking in her direction. His voice was soft, yet somehow powerful.
Kira studied his ghostly reflection in the window. His face was not blank of expression like a Vulcan's, but it gave no hint to what he might have been thinking. He reminded Kira uncomfortably of the vedek whose suicide prompted her to form a resistence when the Dominion occupied the station. At the same time, his mere presence served as a calming influence: he seemed so in control, so...unworried. It made her feel like she didn't have to worry, either. She'd noticed that about him when they were putting her in stasis: he hadn't seemed afraid either of her or for her.
"You said your gods sent you a vision that led you to contact us. The Prophets, you call them. Tell me about them."
"They live in the Celestial Temple, what most people call the Wormhole, and watch over Bajor. They guide us."
"What do they look like?"
Kira almost smiled at the question that most Bajorans would find ridiculous. "They don't have a form we can comprehend. Those who have visions of them see them as people they know. Others call the Prophets 'Wormhole Aliens' and consider them powerful beings that exist outside linear time."
Ia Zh continued staring out at the stars. "I understand," he said.
"I learned a little about the religion of the d'Yniln from my vision," Kira mentioned. "Can you tell me what the words 'mathgrin' and 'theilkrCu' mean?" She remembered the words as clearly as if she'd just heard them.
"The Mathgrin is the political and spiritual leader of Yns. The Mathgrin is served by the theilkrCu--the priests. The theilkrCu apoint a new Mathgrin, usually one handpicked by the old one, upon the Mathgrin's death. The Mathgrin is forbidden to have children, and those who choose the path of the theilkrCu give up all hope of becoming Mathgrin. Some regard the Mathgrin as a living connection to the Cu, the lifeforce of the universe, from which we all came and will someday return to."
"And what is the Thilnhwag Affirmation?"
Ia Zh very nearly smiled in amusement. "Affirmations are the deep truths we contemplate while we meditate. the Thilnhwag states simply 'I am the universe.'"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I couldn't tell you what it means for you. We meditate to figure out what an Affirmation means to us individually."
"What does it mean to you?" she asked.
"Physically, we are made of elements that formed from the fusion reactions of stars," he answered smoothly. "So in a very literal sense, all lifeforms are concentrations of the matter of the universe. And when we die, the elements of our bodies are once again added to the building blocks of the universe. I believe the spirit, or animating force, or whatever you choose to call it, is equally literal and exactly parallels the matter and energy that compose who we are."
"I guess that makes sense."
"More obsessive Contemplators of Cu would disapprove of me sharing my insight with a nonbeliever who hadn't yet found an answer for herself, but you strike me as the kind of person who doesn't let others think for her. I know Beids would consider it irrational to jump to such a conclusion about someone I just met, but d'Yniln value irrationality, and we trust our intuitions." He continued to stare fixidly at the stars. Then, without a word in parting, he turned away from her and silently, gracefully departed.
Kira watched his reflection until he disappeared, then focused on the view outside the window. Space looked darker than usual, and the stars seemed closer. "I am the universe," she whispered experimentally. Superficially, it sounded like the most conceited sentence utterable. Kira had never had the luxury of thinking of herself first. Then her thoughts turned inward, to the changeling child she carried. At the moment, she was all the infant changeling knew of reality. Didn't that make her its universe? She went on to ponder how a changeling might interpret such a statement, how it related to Bajoran beliefs, and how different species drew different lines between their concept of self and everything else. Perhaps the d'Yniln didn't draw that line at all.
Her commbadge chirped, startling her from a train of thought which might have led to a valuable insight.
"Ops to Kira." It was Prynn Tenmei's voice. She sounded worried.
"Go ahead."
"We're getting some readings from the listening post in the Gamma Quadrant. You should see this."
Kira burst into Ops mere minutes later. "What's going on?" she asked bluntly.
"Not sure," Tenmei admitted. "We picked up a fleet of Jem'hadar ships approaching. For a couple of minutes we were afraid they're the first wave of an invasion, but they've set up a defensive parimeter around the Wormhole."
"Laas," Kira whispered.
"Captain?"
"The changeling Laas has been causing problems in the Dominion for months. He even sent Taran'atar to assassinate Odo," she explained. "He also tried to destroy the Wormhole. I'm willing to bet those are ships loyal to Odo. It looks like the civil war is about to begin."
"Captain," said Ensign Luth, "One of the ships just entered the Wormhole."
"Hail them."
"They're hailing us, sir."
With a curt nod, Kira indicated to open the channel.
Odo's familiar voice poored over the comm. "This is the Shkalek to Deep Space Nine. Requesting emergency medical assistance."
Kira tried to keep any emotion out of her voice. "Acknowledged. We'll beam your casualties to the Infirmary as soon as you're within range. What kinds of injuries can we expect?"
It was the Vorta Kalaran who answered. "Four Jem'hadar have extensive plasma burns, another one has neural trauma and severe blood loss."
The Captain nudged aside one of the ensigns and read off the console. "Your ship can proceed to docking clamp three. I'm giving you priority clearance."
"Thank you...Captain."
She had to smile at his show of formality by addressing her by her title. She knew no one in Ops was fooled.
"Kira to Infirmary."
"Go ahead."
"Prepare to receive four injured Jem'hadar. You might want to wake up Bashir." She made the mental note to give him some time off when the immediate crisis was over as recompense for all the overtime he was doing.
After the Shkalek docked minutes later (minutes that seemed excruciatingly long to Kira) she went to the Infirmary. Bashir and the regular nightshift doctor were working frantically over one of their patients, the Jem'hadar Kira recognized as First Rinak'vaka.
"Kira...Captain."
She turned to see Odo, standing next to Kalaran. She hadn't seen him in months, and had to physically restrain herself from running into his arms. "What happened?" she asked, nodding to the injured Jem'hadar.
"We were trying to negotiate a truce, but it was a trap."
"We would be dead if it weren't for Rinak'vaka," Kalaran added.
Bashir glanced over at them. "He'll recover, but if you had brought him in even an hour later, it would have been too late."
Odo's face relaxed with relief.
"I'll arrange for quarters for your crew while you're on the station," Kira stated. "It looks like your ship isn't going anywhere for a few days."
"They fired on us while we were trying to escape." He harrumphed. "And now I also owe my life to Weyoun; it's a very distressing situation."
Bashir chuckled. Kira gave him a sharp glare for listening in on their conversation.
"I'll...show you to your quarters," she said to Odo and Kalaran.
"If you don't mind," the Vorta said, glancing at Kira, then Bashir, then Odo, "I'd like to stay here. I do have some medical background..."
"That's fine with me," said Odo. He looked to Bashir, who nodded.
Kira and Odo walked through the silent Promenade. By this time it was close to the station's arbitrary morning. Kira was grateful that Bashir insisted in putting her on medical leave, so she wouldn't have to wake up early for work the next moring.
"Thank you again, Nerys," Odo said as they boarded the turbolift.
"Habitat ring," Kira said to the computer before turning to look directly at Odo. In the dim of the night lighting, she was reminded of the first time she laid eyes on him, in the Bajoran ghetto on Terok Nor. He had looked so...different to her then. He looked plain, easily forgettable in spite of his obvious otherness, unfinished. Now it was the face of the man she loved. "You know you're always welcome here, Odo," she said softly.
He looked at her searchingly. "What happened here tonight?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"It's almost morning, and you obviously haven't slept yet. You're still in uniform. I saw Ezri and Commander Vaughn in the Infirmary. Our sensors picked up readings from a ship of completely unknown configuration docked next to the Defiant. Something happened."
She didn't answer immediately. The turbolift came to a stop. Kira walked out with Odo following behind.
"Kira, I want to help."
"I know," she said. "It's just...I'm not sure where to begin." Or how much to reveal. Did she want to tell him about the nairait and his species' connection to it? If she told him about the visitors from the Beta Quadrant, could she avoid telling him that she had been in stasis until only a few hours ago, and why Bashir had released her? She wanted to tell him that part--desperately--but she was still getting used to the idea herself, and wasn't at all sure how to spring it on him that he was going to be a father. "Several months ago, we...I...There were reports about unexplained deaths and disappearances...We had reason to believe they were being caused by a parasitic organism that controlled the minds of the infected."
"Like the parasite attack that happened the last time I was here?"
"Like that, but different. This was harder to find, and harder to kill. We'd...never seen anything like it. It was undetectible to our scans." They arrived at her quarters. After the door hissed closed behind them, she turned to look at Odo. He was worried about her, she could tell. And he knew she was holding something back. "But we've recently had a breakthough. I think the crisis is almost over."
"Why don't you want to tell me about it? You're avoiding going into details."
"I'll tell you later. I'm very tired."
"No you're not. Which is in itself mysterious."
She smiled self-conciously. It amazed her how well he could read her. "I've missed you so much."
Odo decided the explanation could wait until later. The past few months had been so difficult: constantly watching Laas's forces, trying to figure out his next move, and quietly courting allies. So many times he found himself wishing Kira were with him, lending him her experience and strength. And now she was with him again. And she looked, if possible, more beautiful than ever before. He took a step toward her. "Nerys?"
She recognized the longing in his eyes, and stepped closer to him. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder. They didn't move again for over a minute, then Kira drew back a little and looked up at him. Their lips were centimeters apart. Odo closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being so close to her for a long moment before slowly closing the gap until their lips met.