Sorry this chapter is a little short, but it holds a lot of purpose in the story. It is VERY important. ok, so when you finish reading this chapter, please don't try and track me down and then kill me. this is the second chapter posted today i believe and that should make you guys really happy! happy! happy! happy!
So i will stop talking and let you get back to the wonderful story i have written for you all! Disclaimer: refer back to previous chapters.
Chapter 9: And the Wall Came Tumbling Down
"Bye mom!" Rory shouted as she reached her car.
"Bye babe! Give the new guy a kiss for me!" Lorelai responded. The last comment was referring to Rory's new boyfriend. Lorelai didn't know much, but what she had heard was that he was a good guy. And he had great taste in movies.
"I will!" Rory said. She then got into her car and pulled out of the driveway.
Lorelai walked back into the house to grab the baby monitor and then walked back outside to sit on the swing on the porch. It was where she had started to go in the last year whenever she had needed to think.
As Lorelai sat down, she pulled the blanket that had been laying there over her legs. She kept running the same thoughts through her head: to let him in or not to let him in. that is the question. She thought to herself. She was even joking to herself now!
"Lorelai?" she heard a voice in front of her. She hadn't been paying much attention to what was going on so she hadn't seen Luke pull up in his truck.
"Oh! Luke! What are you doing here?" she questioned.
"I, uh…I uh came to talk to you. I ran into Rory earlier." He told truthfully.
"You did? She didn't tell me." She said wondering why. Lorelai was too exhausted to fight Luke on this. If he wanted to be there then fine. She was still halfway in dream land still too. Luke sat down on the swing next to Lorelai.
"Oh, I thought she would, but anyways, I came here to talk to you about us and our…our son." He said. It took some effort to get out the last part.
"Luke, I really can't do this. I am too tired and I just need a break!" she said in a desperate tone. "I can't talk to you because it just adds to the exhaustion. I just…" she then broke down and started to cry. Luke didn't know what to do. Should he comfort her or would that be crossing the line? He decided that she needed him right now. After a year of bottled up feelings, she needed someone.
"Shhhhhh. I'm here." He said rocking her back and forth while stroking her hair. They stayed like that for about 3 minutes until Lorelai realized what was happening. She jumped up from where she was which startled Luke.
"No! Luke, I can't do this! I can't have you coming around here! You just need to leave and please don't come back" she said as tears rolled down her cheek. She couldn't help but to say those things. It was the only thing that would make this pain bearable.
"What?" Luke asked shocked at what he was hearing.
"Luke, just leave!" she yelled. Tears streamed down her face. She was having such a hard time telling him this, but she felt as if it would benefit her more in the future just to let him go; to make him go.
"What, NO! I will not! I did last time to give you space but not this time. Yes I screwed up last time. Yes I was the one who left, but he is still my son!" he yelled back. He was not giving up without a fight.
"Luke, do you know what it is like, waking up every morning thinking 'it is my fault my son doesn't have his father!'? Do you Luke because I don't think you do. I have had to deal with that for a year now! I have gotten used to it. I have gotten used to you being gone. And now you come back and you want back in because you have a son?" She yelled finally releasing all of the feelings that she had been feeling over the past year to their full extent.
"Luke, I can't stand to know that the only reason that you will be staying around is because you feel obligated to be there for our son. I have done this once, I can do it again. You being here causes so much…so much pain," she was now crying even more, "and I don't know if I can live with that pain. That pain is what has been keeping me up all of those nights. That pain is only magnified when you are around! I can't stand to know that you hate me, but yet are still here for our son! You don't need to be here Luke. Just go. Please don't make me say it again because it will only cause more hurt on both our parts." She said as she grabbed the baby monitor and walked past Luke and into the house. She went to slam the door behind her but it never did close. Luke caught it and chased her into the house.
"Don't you dare Lorelai! don't you dare cut me off from my son's life!"
"Luke, he wouldn't even know your face! He looks at me and he knows I am his mother. He looks at Rory and he knows that she is somehow apart of his life. God, he can even recognize Sookie's face! But not yours Luke, not yours." She said as she started to clean the house. It was the only thing she could do to keep from breaking down again.
"Lorelai, you know that I can't help that. Maybe if things had gone differently in the past.." he started but was cut off by Lorelai.
"If things had gone differently? If things had gone differently? Who the hell are you trying to kid! You Luke! You are the reason we are having this argument! And don't tell me it was me because I lied to you! Because even though I didn't tell you about that INNOCENT visit I had with Chris, you still did not believe me! I trusted you on everything Luke! I trusted you my body, my family, and my heart! You threw that trust in my face! You were too afraid to stick around and see what would happen even after that! You were afraid of what would happen in the relationship and you ran! You ran from me, at first just figuratively, but then you actually left town! Luke! I trusted you! I trusted you more than anyone else on this earth, and you took that and hurt me with it! Now you just want me to let you back in? No! Hell! No!" she yelled.
"Lorelai, if you had…" he started but then there was screaming heard through the baby monitor.
"Wait here. I'll be back to deal with you in a second!" she said as she rushed up the stairs to get the baby.
"Hey hun! Sorry mummy was being so loud. I didn't mean to wake you up." She said trying to get Jake back to sleep. After 10 minutes of it, she decided to take him down with her. She carried him down the stairs and into the view of Luke. Jake was still whining a bit and Lorelai was trying to calm him down still. She figured the yelling must have scared him.
"Hey, Shhhhhh. Mummy's here. I am so sorry. Shhhhhh." She said to the baby as he cuddled into her chest. Luke couldn't help but smile. Never had he seen Lorelai with a baby, let alone theirs. She was so calm and caring. He could see it in the way she and Jake reacted to each other.
"See this Luke," Lorelai said pointing to the child in her arms. "this is all I need. All he needs is me. Luke just go. I did once dream that you would come back and we would be a happy family," she said as she place Jake in the bassinet, "that me and you would argue about my coffee habits, we would go shopping , I would get to argue with you about dressing our child in a little flannel shirt and a backwards baseball hat, but I have realized it is never going to happen. My dreams and wishes were not only of you wanting to be a part of your son's life, but wanting to be a part of mine; a part of this family." She concluded. She had not said it in a harsh tone, or a sad tone, and angry, a happy, or any other tone you can describe through emotions. She had just spoken in a tone that was 'a matter of factly'.
"Now, Luke, please go." She asked him more than demanded. He simply just walked out. Out of her house, out her life. He didn't know what else to do. She wanted him gone and he knew he couldn't force his presence on her. He hated this. He wanted to wake up from that dream more than ever now. "Lorelai" he whispered to himself as he made his way to the truck.
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hey! so, i love to read your pretty pretty reviews! you know i read them because i respond to almost all of you! so, what do you think of this chapter? are you recruiting people for your angry mobs yet? If you didn't like this chapter, did you at least like the title? it's pretty snazzy isn't it? ok, so review. please give me feedback on what you liked and what you didn't like. i really like to see what you full opinion of my writing is. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!