Kill Winchester Brothers
Author: 7sTar
Author's notes: I don't know if this is a fanfic. I have no other accounts of SN forums so I post it here.
Category: Humor
Rating: T
Warning: Maybe better to keep children away!
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Sam and Dean. I write this for fun. Please don't sue me.
1. Don't feed them, get them die of starvation.
You think this is the simplest way in the world to kill them? A) They feed themselves. B) Are you sure you can find a place where they can't break out or no one can help them out? C) Alright, you find a remote basement that nobody shows any interest in. Are you sure there's no Dr. Sanford Ellicott who scares you to hell instead of them? So the truth will go like this that they save your sorry ass and you reciprocate them a big French meal.
2. I'll burn them to death.
Gee, keep it in mind that the fire is the greatest pain in their pretty asses! Their mom and Jessica were both killed by the Celine Demon. So if you want to try your luck, go ahead, they'll kick the holy crap out of you before you close to them.
3. How about scaring them to death?
This will be one of the top5 jokes in 2005! Are you a Zombie? A Gargoyle? An ogre? Or a Stalker? Please organize a league of extraordinary demons. Sam and Dean will thank you very much because they can round up the whole lot.
4. I choose to curse them to be crushed by meteor rocks?
A good idea but the probability of this event is even less than that of getting Oprah to play Peking Opera. Probably Clark Kent will appear as the meteor comes, which depends on how many times you pray as well.
5. Let them die of illness.
Well, don't they look like as health as the last one on the earth to die of disease?
6. I have an idea. Get them electrocuted.
Hum, do you work in Fox River state penitentiary? Dean is so experienced to deal with cops.
7. I want to strangle Dean, wondering if the trademark cocky smirk is still on his face. And I want to lift Sam rolling him to the wall.
Even the Wendigo was not such a lucky dog. Can you leap over the fence as agilely as them? Can you run as fast as them? Or can you climb a building as easily as them? A cocky smirk and a sweet grinning are the gifts to you when they find you're the Jack of all trades and master of none.
8. Frame them sneakily, poison in their water or a stab in the back?
Warn you, distempered minds are easily possessed by spirits. At that time, speaking "Cristo" is no better than calling Sam and Dean for help.
9. I want to cut his throat when Dean's keeping yapping and slowly poke Sam with my knife, releasing the nervous in his mind when he's tortured by the nightmares.
You look like Mr. Hook Man who wants to help people by punishment. Dean is not yapping, he's just speaking and the nightmare, it's Sam's own business.
10. Shoot them.
You forget they're perfectly skilled in hunting. You can't kill two birds with one stone, can you? So the real version is: you lift your gun aiming at Sam, but before you pull the trigger Dean has punched you in the face, your gun is already in his hand. The boys always make a good team.
11.Don't miss every chance to murder them. Throw the plates and bowls to their faces when they have dinner. Goad my cat and dog bit their ankles. Hit Sam on the head from his back with a stick. Knock Dean with wine bottle after slapping him on the face.
Sorry, you have no such chance at all, or imagine in your dreams. Dean will catch the plates and bowls without stopping eating his steak. Sam is as cute as a puppy, your cat will be jealous of your dog because Sam more likes dogs. And are you long enough to touch Sam's head? Can you assure not fall in a faint of Dean's charming smile before you raise your hand to him?
12. Drown them.
You must have not heard of how they rescued Andrea in bathtub and her son in Lake Manitoc. "Play with me" game doesn't work for them because they are good guys, who didn't kill innocents and will never.
13. OK, why do I want to kill them?
Because they are more dangerous than any demon.