Disclaimer: see previous chapters.
Checkmate
Chapter 16
Wufei was aware of sounds and smells but he didn't want to fight his way out of the fog of sleep to determine the exact sources. He didn't care. He just wanted to stay in the hazy, drug-induced sleep he knew himself to be in. Maybe if I sleep long enough, when I wake up, everything will be ok. I won't still be injured and Milliardo would be….
Wufei's thoughts were interrupted by Duo's loud and stern voice.
"What the hell is this!"
Wufei struggled to open his eyes and when he focused them, he was sorry he had. There was Duo, no, not Duo. Shinigami. Before him stood a very angry man with a blood encrusted dagger clenched in his fist, his eyes promising suffering to any who fall under their gaze. And at that moment, it was Wufei that was caught.
"He was here wasn't he!"
"Yes." Wufei sighed and pushed his way into a sitting position, his elbows propped on his knees, his head supported by his hands which were clenching fistfuls of hair. "He stopped by to talk."
"Damn it, 'Fei! This is not talking!" Duo slammed the dagger down on the table in front of Wufei, his eyes quickly scanning his friend's body for any signs of new injuries. "Were you ever going to tell me?"
"Of course."
"Was this your way of telling me! A bloody dagger on the table!"
"Maxwell…" Wufei looked up at his best friend and winced. Duo wasn't just angry, he was hurt. "I'm sorry. I was going to tell you when you got home but I was asleep."
"You should have called me. Did the base notify you when he landed?"
"No, actually." This fact hadn't occurred to him until just now. Which means Milliardo knew we would be looking out for him and he somehow managed to sneak in undetected.
"I'm calling Une."
"Don't bother. He's probably gone by now."
Duo stood there, his anger subsiding just a bit at seeing how much agony his best friend was in. "You don't have to tell me what happened. Just answer one question. Did he hurt you?"
Wufei just shook his head 'no'. Duo nodded and headed back into the kitchen to finish dinner. He'd lost his appetite but Wufei still needed to eat. As he stood there chopping cucumber, Wufei appeared, leaning heavily on the doorframe.
"What are you doing up? Get back on the sofa. You promised, 'Fei. No unnecessary strain."
"This is necessary." He looked at his best friend and he felt horrible for how he had treated him. "He came here to beg my forgiveness. He gave me the dagger and said I had the right to use it. And as he begged….on his knees….I drove the dagger into his shoulder. When I asked him to leave, he did, no arguments."
"'Fei---"
"You have every right to be angry with me and I'm sorry, Maxwell. I really am. I know I've been absorbed with my problems lately and that I've been a horrible friend, but--"
Duo crossed the kitchen and hugged Wufei to him, burying his face in the other man's neck. Wufei stood there for a few seconds in shock. Then he closed his eyes and brought his arms up to hug his best friend back, laying his chin on Duo's shoulder.
"Just shut up, ok? You're my best friend and you know I can't stay mad at you. I know you have a lot to deal with right now but I…..I just want to help you. That's what best friends do for each other." Duo stepped back and put his arm around Wufei's waist as the other man slung his arm around Duo's shoulder and the pair made their way back to the sofa.
Once Duo deposited Wufei on the sofa, he started to head back to the kitchen but he was stopped as Wufei grabbed his wrist. His hand slid down and held Duo's within his own as he looked up at the questioning lavender eyes.
"I know I've hurt you, Maxwell. And I swear I will never do it again."
Duo just nodded, unable to find his voice. As he looked down into the onyx eyes of his best friend, he fought with every ounce of willpower he had to keep from hugging him close and kissing him and confessing his feelings. I've got my best friend back. That's a start. I can be patient. He's worth it. Duo gave Wufei a smile and reluctantly pulled his hand free and disappeared into the kitchen.
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Wufei lay in the dark, staring up at his bedroom ceiling. I'm making the right decision. He rolled over and checked the clock. 3:28am. He'd been lying in his bed for the past five hours thinking about what to do about Milliardo. Finally, he'd come up with a decision. He would turn away from Milliardo. He would end his torture and just have nothing to do with the man. Despite Milliardo's determined words, he didn't think he would be able to ever accept Milliardo's touch again.
I'm making the right decision.
What finally helped Wufei make his decision was Duo. Having his best friend around for support made him realize that he had a happy life before he ever got involved with Milliardo and he could have that same happy life again.
I'm making the right decision.
He was realistic, knowing it would take some time, but having made the decision was already giving him some peace of mind.
So why am I still awake?
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Wufei grumbled as he sat at the desk, hunched over a bunch of paperwork Lady Une had delivered. He had agreed to review some documents while he was still in recovery. He hated not having something to do and he was glad his boss understood that.
"Are you still grumbling? Yeesh. First you grumble all the way to the hospital and then you grumble all the way home and now I find you grumbling over paperwork. Give it a rest, 'Fei."
Onyx eyes threatened a slow painful death but Duo just smiled.
"You can't scare me, Dragon. I'm Shinigami."
"I thought you had errands to run."
"Well, I thought you might miss me too much so I thought I'd hang out with you all day."
Wufei looked over at the smug grin on his friend's face and chuckled. "I appreciate your consideration for my feelings but I'll manage without you for a few hours." Wufei returned to his paperwork and Duo headed for the door.
"Did you ever think I might miss you too much?"
"What was that?"
"Nothing. See ya in a few!"
Wufei continued reviewing the paperwork, his work going much faster now that Duo wasn't there to bother him. It wasn't that he didn't like having Duo around. On the contrary, he was one of the few people he liked having around. But when he was trying to accomplish work, no one was tolerated.
A few hours had raced by and Wufei had made excellent progress when the doorbell rang. He let it go, preferring to concentrate on his work. When it sounded a second time, he got up to answer the door, grumbling under his breath.
"Yes?"
"I have a delivery for Mr. Chang."
Wufei eyed the delivery suspiciously, but signed for it and brought it into the house, setting it down on the table in the living room. He stared at it for several quiet moments, an envelope that accompanied the delivery in his hand, unopened.
The delivery was potted flowers. The container was plain white ceramic in the shape of an eclipse. There were three clumps of flowers in the container, all the same type, all a deep blue. Wufei recognized the flower as primrose.
He couldn't recall what meaning the flower had, but he had a feeling the letter in his hand would give him a clue. He took it out and read the fine script he recognized so well.
To My Dragon,
A wise man once told me that if you want to live a life without regret, then you should simply not live. I have lived, Wufei. And I thought I had many regrets. But after everything that's happened between us, those regrets seem trivial now. Never have I been as happy as when I am with you. It didn't matter if I was holding you in my arms or simply watching you during a conference. Your very presence makes me happy.
I finally found peace. You, my dragon, my love, gave me another chance at life that I am surely undeserving of. But now that I know how happy I can be in this life, I refuse to let it go. There is no life without you, Wufei.
Eternally yours,
Milliardo
Wufei stared at the piece of paper and the black elegant lines that made up Milliardo's heartfelt thoughts. No life without you….
"Milliardo….why are you doing this to me?"
Suddenly the lock clicked and in walked Duo.
"Hello!"
Duo went straight into the kitchen and when he didn't get a response he peeked out into the living room to see if Wufei was asleep. But he found the man sitting on the sofa, staring at some flowers. Those are new. Uh, oh… Duo walked out into the living room and sat down in the chair opposite the sofa.
"So who are the flowers from?"
Wufei just kept staring, a piece of paper crushed in his fist which was the only sign of emotion he was letting show.
"'Fei?"
"They're from Milliardo."
Duo looked from the flowers to Wufei and back again. Knowing Milliardo, those flowers had a hidden meaning and Wufei got the message loud and clear. Question was, how he would react. Faster than he could run the options through his mind, Duo watched in stunned silence as Wufei lifted the container and threw it against the wall, shattering the ceramic and sending a spray of porcelain shards and soil into the air.
Wufei didn't wait for Duo to say anything. He stomped back to his bedroom and slammed the door. Duo reached out and picked up the discarded crumpled note.
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Wufei quickly made his way to the monitor and requested a connection to Milliardo's office. He clenched his fists, trying to control his anger as he waited for the connection to be made. He was mentally berating himself for such a rash display of anger and for being careless enough to leave the note in the living room where Duo could read it.
"Chancellor Peacecraft's office."
"I need to speak to the Chancellor immediately."
"I'm sorry the Chancellor is unavailable at the moment. Would you like---"
"He'll become available for my call. This is Commander Chang."
"Yes sir."
Wufei only had to wait five seconds for Milliardo's face to appear before him.
"Wufei."
"I'm sorry I didn't make my stance clear when you were here. We are through."
"No. I won't accept that. You love me, Wufei. I know you do. I saw how conflicted you were when I kissed you. You just need to give it time."
"I wasn't conflicted, I was repulsed! I don't want you to ever touch me again!"
"People don't normally moan when they're repulsed, Wufei." Milliardo saw the blush and shock from his lover on the screen and he knew he was right. You still love me, Wufei. "You're hurt and angry right now, Wufei and you have every right to be, but please don't dismiss me or what we have together."
"Had, Milliardo!We were over the moment I lost consciousness. You almost killed me over the memory of a dead man! He's been dead for over four years. Let it go. Let me go!"
Milliardo's hands were clenched tightly in his lap and he was hoping Wufei couldn't see him shaking. He kept his voice and face as calm as possible.
"Let me ask you something, Wufei. If someone killed Duo, would it matter if you found them five days or five years later? Would you be able to control your anger and do nothing? I am not justifying what I did. I'm simply asking that you not dismiss me as some monster."
Wufei listened to Milliardo's deep, calm voice and the more the man spoke, the worse the pain in his chest became. He wanted to scream for the man to shut up, but his throat had closed up and all he could manage to do was disconnect the line. He sat there, unobserved, breathing heavily, body trembling. Damn you, Milliardo! Damn you for reducing me to this pathetic state.
Milliardo watched Wufei as his emotions started to overwhelm him, until he couldn't face him anymore and disconnected their call. As soon as the screen went blank, he whirled around in his chair and grabbed his wastebasket, retching. When the contents of his stomach were once again forced from him due to his guilty conscious, he laid his head on his desk, muttering to a man who couldn't hear him.
"Wufei….I'm so sorry….I told you…I told you I would do anything to get you back. And if I have to fight dirty, I will. I'm sorry I hurt you and I swear I'll never hurt you again. Just please….please remember how much I love you and how much you love me. I know you still love me. I just have to help you realize it again."
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A quiet knock sounded but Wufei didn't acknowledge it.
"'Fei?"
Another knock and another gentle plea. Wufei got up and answered the door to find a very worried Duo.
"Talk to me."
Wufei turned and went back into his darkened room where he sat down on the bed, head hanging low. He knew Duo would eventually seek him out after his display in the living room.
"I'm sorry, Maxwell."
"Don't be sorry. I'm just worried about you."
"I….I don't know what to do…..I made a decision. I made the decision to leave Milliardo behind. I couldn't possibly go back to him. Not after…." Wufei shook his head as if the action would somehow make everything clear. "But just now…..talking to him…..I'm so confused again…..I love..loved him so much."
Duo wasn't sure if he should something or not. He had his own opinion on the situation but he was certain Wufei didn't wan to, or need to hear it right now. He waited to see if Wufei was going to continue, but the man jus sat there. But just as Duo was about to say something, Wufei spoke up again, his voice quiet and almost monotone.
"What would you do if someone killed me?"
"Huh?"
"If someone killed me. What would you do?"
"'Fei, I….."
"I can tell you what I would do. If anyone were to ever harm you, I would track them down and kill them. Slowly. I would show no mercy."
Duo was shocked at the calm and cold demeanor of Wufei. Yes, Wufei was well known for his temper, but this was different. This was….sadistic. But at the same time, Duo knew how his best friend felt. And he would do the same. No force on earth would keep him from his quarry.
Duo hung his head and sighed. He could now see why Wufei was so tortured and confused. What Milliardo did to Wufei was exactly what they would have done for each other.
"But….Treize died years ago."
Wufei nodded his head silently. Duo moved to sit beside him and put an arm around Wufei's shoulders, their heads naturally leaning towards each other.
"I wish I could make it all better for you. But I think I understand now why you can't just turn him away." Duo turned his head and kissed Wufei's temple. "I'm so sorry, 'Fei."
To be continued….