(AN: This was, has, and forever will be the hardest chapter I have ever
written. Not so much as the length of this part, but the feel between two
people, and how to write this into two different or duel perspectives. I
have indeed met someone like I have described in the story and I do still
love her, but I did not get the opportunity to be with her as the character
in the story did. So I hope you enjoy this part because it has been a very
rewarding experience to have it come out so well.)
An Unavoidable Fate…A Startling Return
Four months later…
The time had gone by faster than expected, and Shane's mother had gotten well, but Shane still thought about how it was that she got sick in the first place. The doctors were still shocked when the virus no longer was within her body, but they shrugged and wondered what might have caused this…rouge germ to cause so much trouble. The fact that it was only within her a few weeks made it rather difficult to study, and considering the doctors did MASSIVE amounts of testing to make sure that nothing like it remained only disheartened them more. "I've never seen symptoms like them before either. It's like a new disease or something just appeared out of no where and then simply disappeared."
"Symptoms do not match anything known in my records either," a cold metallic sounding voice responded.
"Well of course not Windstrom, you never got to check a sample of the germs."
"True."
"Can you hack into the hospital's data base and tell me if they were able to acquire a sample of the germ?"
"I will try now…accessing hospital data base…searching…" Shane took a deep sigh and leaned back in his chair. He still thought about that last kiss he gave Jessie over four months ago. It still was like an aroma of fresh flowers in his mind. It was sweet, and yet, sad…he knew that she had a thing for Shane, but at the same time Shane realized that they would never see each other again. Then Shane had another thought. A slight smile escaped his lips and he mouthed out something. "Search complete. Records indicate a small a amount of research was done on the germ."
"Show me a compete analysis of all research they got on this little bug. I want to know what the hell it was." Windstrom spewed a bunch of charts, and text on the screen. Shane looked them over and rubbed his stubble of whiskers once in a while. Despite it being called a little amount of research, there were nearly 100 pages of it that Shane had to filter through. "Little research they have here," Shane said with a chuckle. He suddenly stopped and looked a little harder at something and said, "Windstrom can you get a closer shot of that photo right there?"
"Attempting…" the photo got a little closer and something that appeared to be a small coil of excess energy changed into a particle of solid matter was clearly shown.
"What the hell? Windstrom is that what I think it is?"
"I am unable to tell you what it is as I have no actual sample to cross reference it with."
Shane rolled his eyes and said, "Ok Windstrom, but do you have anything that LOOKS like that in your files?"
"Checking cross reference…"
Shane relaxed in his comfy leather chair once again and thought, "Man Jessie, if only we would have gotten more time to be together…there might have been a chance for us."
"Match found…"
Shane perked up and said, "What? Show me."
"Photo resembles a particle of energy in a solid state similar to…"
"The main weapon on my armour. Incredible…I've NEVER seen it physically inserting into a human body and kept like that before. But how could a particle from my armour be inserted into my mother's body? The armour hasn't been touched in nearly 3 to 5 years."
"Unknown at this time."
Shane snickered, "Windstrom that was not a question directed at you. I know you don't know how." Shane relaxed back and thought a little more. His mind was still a little hard to concentrate on things of such importance, but he was a young man, and he too did have feelings he wished he could express sometimes. His thoughts went farther back to before he had met Jess, and to another girl. One that he cared for more than he could physically and emotionally remember, but he also gave a slight laugh when thinking harder about it. "She made her choice. I moved on. There was nothing I could do about it." Shane sat up and decided that he had done enough research for the day and was a bit hungry. He exited the computer room via the portal that was always open and was taken to his room that existed in the real time/real world contingency. The other end of the portal where he had exited closed behind him, as it would be rather odd seeing something like a swirling vortex crackling with energy always open in the center of his room. His room was small and very relaxing to be in. It provided a sort of…get away from the world feeling that he felt nowhere else. Of course right now the only thing he wished for was the feeling that had been re-ignited in him to come true…it was like a small hole had appeared in his heart. A hole he thought he had patched up many years ago. He tried to shrug it off, but it was for not to be taken away. He laughed and realized that it was indeed the same way she and he had met last time. It was over boarding a plane that was taking him back from California. His portal watch had been left at home for the trip to California and he was unable to return to his native state without taking a means of normal transportation. It was the first time anyone had seen him in the sense that he was indeed leading two different lives. The first as Shane Jones…and the other…as someone completely different from his usual generous self in a sense. Her reaction was the same as Jessie's when he had to leave. However something was different about that encounter. It was because he had feelings for her too. Shane shook his head and murmured something silently trying to forget about that first encounter. "No, I'm not going to look back on that. I decided to move on…but…I still just wonder, what she's doing now. How she's doing now that we haven't talked in so long. Shane looked out of his windows and saw the darkness of night. The street lamp gave little light but it looked like it had been raining for sometime. The sight of rain, the sudden feeling that he remembered…it was like he was reliving some horrid dream that never came true for him. His mind started to fish through things and he fell on his bed like his legs had been taken out from under him. His mind was now acting like it was no longer going to take orders from it's own self. It wanted to remember those times…the times of the past. Shane's eyes slightly danced down to seal themselves from the light of his room, and he continued to remember all that had happened around his chance meeting of love.
"Shane…I…I don't want you to leave. I don't know how to put this in words, but all I can tell you is that I'll feel, like I'm losing a piece of myself if you go," a young girl with hair that ran to the middle of her back said. Tears were close in her eyes as anyone could tell, and her hands were near her heart like she was grasping for it not to leave her.
Shane stood there as the windows portrayed a gently falling rain much in the same way as her eyes seems to be raining with tears. The rain feel at a much faster pace than her tears, but the feeling of them both was the same. Shane opened his mouth to speak but could say nothing. It was like the rain was portraying his feelings as well, only he chose not to show them in as much detail as she. Finally he said something off the end of his breath, "I…"
The female's eyes widened in hopes of wanting to hear what she had been hoping for since her first actual jump of feeling for him. "Please Shane. I…I…" she looked down at the ground like she had done something wrong and felt it was all her fault.
Shane put his hand out and walked over to her wrapping it around her gently. "Shhh…don't cry. You didn't do anything wrong. It was never your fault to feel this way anyways."
The female looked up at Shane and replied, "How is it not my fault? I was the one who felt this way for you."
"How can you consider have feelings for someone a bad thing?"
"Because…how can you tell someone if you don't know how they feel back about you?"
"What if the roles were reversed? And I said that I didn't know how someone felt about me if I had feelings for them?"
The female's eyes were indeed full of tears, and she asked, "Shane…I'm serious when I say I don't want you to leave me. I'm afraid of what might happen when I can't see you, or…"
Shane tilted his head, "Or be with me?" The girl's face blushed and she looked down so as not to show her appearance to Shane. Shane made a meek smile and looked out at the rain gently coming down upon the runway. "Listen to me…I'm going to tell you something. No matter how far away I am, I won't leave you. I can't allow myself to leave you. I've learned a few things about myself that I never thought possible until I met you."
The girl looked up at him a slight smile crossing her face, "Shane…I have had other boyfriends in the past…I admit…but of them all…I can honestly say none of them has shown this much…kindness and said the things you have said about me…back to me."
Shane smiled and nodded, "I'm serious…I really think you are indeed an angel sent from heaven. I…will say that I'm hoping…you…are the angel I'm supposed to be with."
The girl hugged him tighter and she looked down blushing a little harder. "Does that mean you won't leave me?"
"I won't leave you. I promise you. I'm just as curious to see what it is about you that has made me feel so…wonderful inside."
"Shane…can…I…"
Shane smiled, "What is it you want to…"
The girl quickly moved her head up to his and placed her lips on his taking Shane by surprise. The kiss lasted for a few moments, but for Shane it felt like it had lasted many more moments than it actually was. Shane's lips were removed from hers and something inside him jumped. He pulled her mouth back to his and continued to work on it like a massager gently relaxing his or her client. "Last call for boarding flight 3189 from San Diego to Denver."
Shane heard the call and realized that he had to break off the kiss, but…he didn't want to. It was like without that kiss he would be missing a part of himself. So he did the next best thing. He finished the kiss and held her close to him saying, "Listen to me…I'll tell you something. Head to the park where you first met me around 3:30 tomorrow and there will be a surprise."
The girl looked up her whole face in sorrow, "All right, but I wish you had decided to stay."
"I never said I could. I have responsibilities just like the rest of the world. And I'm still in school just as you are."
The girl nodded her head against his shirt and said, "I know…but it's going to be hard without you here."
Shane smiled gently his eyes crying tears as well, "I know, it's going to be hard leaving you." He wiped away a few of her tears and slowly let go of her grasp to board the plane. After a few minutes she watched as his plane turned and headed toward the runway. Then as it started to become airborne she watched as it sailed away farther and farther from sight until…it was gone.
The next day Shane was not his usual chipper self in school, and his friends did take a noticing to it. One of his friends asked him if he had not gotten enough sleep or had partied to hard. Shane nodded and told them it was just lack of sleep. He didn't want to tell them he had fallen in love…and couldn't sleep because he wanted to see the one he had fallen for so bad. It was indeed devastating to him to be so many miles away, and be so helpless. The one thing he knew however was that he had the means to be with her, and the ways to get to her. It was a bittersweet moment to understand, but he had to keep his emotions in check for just a bit longer. Finally the day had gone on long enough and school was done. Shane rushed home as fast as he could and showered quickly. The shower however felt well on his body as each of the warm jets of water hit him like the warm touch of his lover's hand. After about 5 minutes however he was done and headed back to his room to get changed into something a little nicer than his school clothes, but not to fancy. He checked his watch and saw it was only 3:45, but he knew that there was a possibility that she would arrive early. So he decided now was the best time to leave. He grabbed his watch that allowed him to use portals to one place or another and strapped it on his wrist. Finally he gave a quick wave goodbye to his mother and told her he was going out for a while to play some basketball. His mother smiled and waved back to him telling him not to be out too late. Shane could feel his heart pounding harder and harder every step he took. It was like he couldn't wait to be back with her in his arms holding her tightly against his body. When he had gone far enough out of sight of anyone or anything he opened a portal to the park where he and she had first met. The other end of the portal we hidden by some trees so no one could see him come from the portal. He looked around and instantly the memory of his first meeting with her echoed in his mind. Although their first encounter had to be at the fact of a yoma attacking the people at the park, it was indeed sweet from the start. He had no idea that she too, was leading a secret life as well. It was like she was able to understand the feeling of being normal, but at the same time understand that she was no longer alone. Shane took a deep breath and walked over to the trunk of one of the larger trees that was in pretty plain sight throughout the entire park. He looked at his watch and noticed it was only 3. Realizing that he still had lot of time left before her arrival, he decided to sit against the trunk of that tree and reminisce of the first time he had seen her. The day was just as nice out as it had been that first day. The only difference was Shane was there following a hunch that something was not right in this city, and we're talking the not of this world kind. He had taken caution to the wind but still acted as regular as he could without really trying to draw attention to himself. That was when the creature attacked. Without warning it killed a few people, and severely wounded others. People fled like rabid animal fearing for their lives. Only she was willing to stand guard and help defend as people tried to escape. Indeed it was surprising to see someone fight like they had more strength than a human, but what I couldn't understand was she was only 9 or 10 in appearance. Of course I rushed over and hid changing into my armour, but seeing her fight with that yoma…it was like a different thing was felt the first time I saw her. It sparked something within my heart. A…touch of warmth…that I had never felt before, and even though she was much to old for me, I…I wanted to see what it was about her that made me…feel this way. From that point on…it was odd. I made the yoma realize I had arrived and did my thing, but that girl did nothing in the way of trying to escape. She simply told me that it was nothing she couldn't handle, and of course I had to do my heroic rescue thing when she nearly got herself killed. She was different however…not like anyone else I had ever encountered. A free spirited soul shrouded in the body of a vibrant young girl. It was that overpowering sense of…finding the one, which must have kicked in. After that battle I just stared at her…as she did me. I don't know what she was thinking…but…it might have been exactly what I was thinking. She was pretty beyond her years, and age or not, I had the feeling that she was the one I wanted to be with despite only being a lad of 13. I did my thing of reviving the ones that yoma had killed, or at least attempted to revive, and headed away with a searing pain in my heart that leaving her was next to impossible. What luck when I met her again that night…at that same park. This time the feeling was more romantic than the time from earlier before. What she told me…it was incredible that I not know she was the same as I. She knew that I was not of this earth as she, but she was in tears when she said she was glad to have found someone like her that understood the pain of leading a double life. How could I not do everything in my power to make her feel better? At first…it was out of the sheer fact that she was realizing she was not alone, but then…the feeling changed, and was now one that I wanted to feel. I didn't want to feel alone. Things happened, and I realize that she was known as a Sailor Scout or something from Japan, and that she had a past that was indeed stooped in tales long thought to not exist, but that she had been reborn as a human here in this world to help protect it from whatever supernatural forces arose. Here I thought no one would even understand my plight or situation of leading a double life. She had been doing the same thing as I. Only she knew of her past and was much easier to interact with the normal humans of this world than I could. Perhaps it was a star-crossed love, or perhaps it was a whim of God's overwhelming power. I knew not but one thing. I feel in love with that girl and nothing could ever change that. A sudden jolt awoke me from my slumber and low and behold…there she was clinging to me at the base of that tree crying. Her eyes and facial features a mess, but clearly showing what is was she was happy for. A true love at first sight…or so I thought. We dated for a while, and slowly time moved on. She was now there to help defend the world with me, and our love grew, but one day she came to me with something that forever changed my heart. It made me realize that when you realize true love. It is something that will be known in the parables of time and space, not thought up from one end, and hoping perhaps from the other. She told me that she had fallen in love with another…a human of this world. What could I tell her? We had been going out for nearly a year, and each day I thought of her more and more. I thought of how much more I would do to protect her. What should I say? That she shouldn't leave me? That she was making a very…displaced decision in her life? I cast away my thoughts of sorrow and realized that it was for naught. She was a soul of free will, and as much as I thought I had tamed her, she was merely playing me for a fool for the time being and escaped when she had realized the fence could not hold her anymore. All I could do was simply smile at her and nod telling her I hoped for the best between her and her human. Inside of my heart I was devastated. The hole she had left in me was incredible. She gave me a last kiss good-bye and told me to never forget her. She was my friend forever, and that was what she wanted me to be for her. A friend. I watched as she walked away from me not knowing how she was feeling. It was something that forever made me realize that I could never love someone like her again…until I had seen and met Jess. Shane jolted himself awake and shook his head a little yawning. He put his hand to his head and moaned, "It was…only a dream. But that dream took place over 5 years ago. I'm no longer 14 and she is no longer a mere child. She has grown up." Shane looked outside at the darkness and realized he had been sleeping for quite a while. The rains had subsided, but Shane shook his head thinking that the rains in his heart were going to continue raining for a while, until he fixed the pain in his heart. His clock said 2:45, but it felt earlier in the morning than that. It felt closer to 4 or 5.
30 miles outside of Billings…
"Talk about the best time for that portal watch he gave me to break on me. I must be insane thinking that he'll remember me after all these years, and I never did forget him. I look back on it now and realized that I was young and impulsive in a way. It's been 5 years since we last talked even. Has he found someone else?" A slew of things raced through her mind and she remembered how she felt that fateful day when Shane had left on that plane for home.
"How can I not love him?" she thought as they simply stared at each other. She opened her mouth and said it as best as her heart could, "Shane…I…I don't want you to leave. I don't know how to put this in words, but all I can tell you is that I'll feel, like I'm losing a piece of myself if you go."
She watched as Shane stared out the window and wondered what he was thinking…about her, about everything they had been through. Eventually he turned his head back to her and said off the end of his breath, "I…"
"I what…I? I? I?" her mind raced wondering with answers she wished to have set in the place of the blank. "Please Shane. I…I…" she looked down at the ground like she had done something wrong and felt it was all her fault.
The next thing she felt was his arm around her body and the warm feeling that was associated with it. "Shhh…don't cry. You didn't do anything wrong. It was never your fault to feel this way anyways."
Her heart started to feel warm and relaxed and she looked up at Shane and asked feeling like crying, "How is it not my fault? I was the one who felt this way for you."
"How can you consider have feelings for someone a bad thing?"
"Because…how can you tell someone if you don't know how they feel back about you?"
"What if the roles were reversed? And I said that I didn't know how someone felt about me if I had feelings for them?"
Her eyes were full of tears and she cried, "Shane…I'm serious when I say I don't want you to leave me. I'm afraid of what might happen when I can't see you, or…"
Her whole heart felt like it was about to leave her and forever flutter away in a feeling of emptiness that would be felt if he did not stay.
Shane tilted his head, "Or be with me?" Her face suddenly blushed and she looked down so as not to show her appearance to Shane. Shane made a meek smile and looked out at the rain gently coming down upon the runway. "Listen to me…I'm going to tell you something. No matter how far away I am, I won't leave you. I can't allow myself to leave you. I've learned a few things about myself that I never thought possible until I met you."
She looked up at him a slight smile crossing her face, "Shane…I have had other boyfriends in the past…I admit…but of them all…I can honestly say none of them has shown this much…kindness and said the things you have said about me…back to me." Her heart still held on in her throat but she swallowed it thinking that it was true that no one else had made her feel this, happy this, loved, before.
Shane smiled and nodded, "I'm serious…I really think you are indeed an angel sent from heaven. I…will say that I'm hoping…you…are the angel I'm supposed to be with."
She hugged him tighter thinking, "He thinks I'm an…angel?" She looked down blushing a little harder and said aloud, "Does that mean you won't leave me?"
"I won't leave you. I promise you. I'm just as curious to see what it is about you that has made me feel so…wonderful inside."
"Shane…can…I…"
Shane smiled, "What is it you want to…"
She quickly moved her head up to his and placed her lips on his taking Shane by surprise. The kiss lasted for a few moments, but for her it felt like it had lasted many more moments than it actually was. Shane removed his lips from hers and then pulled her mouth back to his and continued to work on it like a massager gently relaxing his or her client. "Last call for boarding flight 3189 from San Diego to Denver."
"No! Please God not when I'm this happy!" her heart cried out. She realized Shane had heard the call and realized that he would have to break off the kiss, but…she didn't want to. It was like without that kiss she would be missing a part of herself.
Shane finished the kiss and held her close to him telling her, "Listen to me…I'll tell you something. Head to the park where you first met me around 3:30 tomorrow and there will be a surprise."
"A surprise?" her mind raced through the millions of things that it could be, but each one ended with him being at that park holding her in his arms gently. She looked up her whole face in sorrow, "All right, but I wish you had decided to stay."
"I never said I could. I have responsibilities just like the rest of the world. And I'm still in school just as you are."
She nodded her head against his shirt and said, "I know…but it's going to be hard without you here." She thought for a second, "Hard? What am I thinking? Try impossible. How can I even consider surviving without him?"
Shane smiled gently his eyes crying tears as well, "I know, it's going to be hard leaving you." He wiped away a few of her tears and slowly let go of her grasp to board the plane. After a few minutes she watched as his plane turned and headed toward the runway. Then as it started to become airborne she watched as it sailed away farther and farther from sight until…it was gone.
After seeing it no longer exist in plain sight she whispered to herself, "My heart is…forever scared until I see you again…my love."
School…just what she needed to show everyone that something was wrong. It was bad enough Shane had left a scar on her heart, but now she would have to lie to her friends that nothing was wrong despite how red her eyes had been. She hadn't gotten a wink of sleep all night, and all she could focus on was that first and only kiss they had given each other at the airport. It was so…perfect feeling. It felt like when she had forced that kiss on him that her heart had gone down his throat and given a piece of itself to him as a reminder to never forget her. She perked up suddenly remembered about the surprise at the park. Her mind raced with questions as to what it was and she stared at the clock almost with a harsh scowl telling it to move faster or feel her wrath. The clock seemed to laugh at her controlling her life it would seem. It gave no inch or quarter to move faster and it tore her apart inside having to wait for it's long movements to add up. Somehow, she had managed to break free from time and school. It was 3 and she was already out the school doors as fast as she could. It was a 5-minute walk to the part on a good day, and the sunny weather guaranteed her a quick walk to the park. Her mind still raced viciously gathering many numerous ideas as to what her "surprise" would be. She looked at her watch and saw it was 3:10 when she had arrived at the park. Somehow it had taken her longer to get to the park than she had realized. She scanned the area slowly as to not miss any detail that might indeed be her "surprise." Maybe it was the fact that she felt him, or the fact that she caught him out of the corner of her eye, but she took off toward Shane and hugged him tightly like a lost teddy bear she needed to sleep with at night. Shane was taken by surprise and was actually sleeping against the tree. Her hug had awoken him, but instantly he knew it was she and hugged her back gently holding her in his arms. The feeling of withdrawal in her heart had subsided and she realized that she loved him more than she thought. She felt a love stronger than she ever had before. It was something that consumed her whole heart, but it also filled her up with love and joy. The mess of emotions in her mind subsided and she felt more at ease with his tender but firm grasp around her. Months passed and she felt her love for him grow and grow…but there was something else that she had realized. She had fallen in love with a friend of hers at school, and like her, they loved her back. Her mind was confused once more and she realized she had one of the hardest choices to make in her life. Stay with Shane, or abandon him and go with what her heart was telling her now. It hurt because she knew that her heart was saying go with her other friend. She would never love another like Shane again, but she knew that it time to move on, and find someone closer to her, more down to earth than Shane. So after many months of being with Shane she decided that it was time for a change. Her heart was fighting itself when she looked out across the horizon with him one last time. She could just feel his heart eating itself alive trying to bury the feeling of sorrow it had. Shane's face still carried that signature smile it always had, and she looked at the watch she had been given. It had meant so much to him to let her have it, but when she tried to give it back he told her that it meant more to him if she kept it. A way to remember him of sorts. Her mind was still confused, but her heart even more so. She smiled one last time, waved a good bye to Shane, and walked off not turning around to show him the tears that streamed from her cheeks over a decision of this magnitude.
She wiped her eyes and thought to herself, "It's been about 5 years since I saw him last. How could I let him…slip away? He always treated me so special. Like there was nothing more he wanted than to be with me. He never treated me bad, and every time something arose he was there to dry my tears. My other b/f wasn't all that much different…but when I found out…that he was cheating on me I was at a loss. I dated him for nearly 5 years, all the way through my freshman year, but I never thought he would want to do something as vile as cheat on me at an age so young and tender. I can only hope whoever he ends up with is ready for a life of pain and torture." The girl looked down at her clothes and laughed lightly saying, "Ok, so I'm going through pain and torture here, so I'm in no condition to speak." She moved along slowly and found herself to be a few miles closer than she had been when she had last realized where she was. "Just a few more miles to go." She was upset by the fact that she had to hitchhike over 1000 miles just for him, but in a way it was one of the obstacles she was willing to go through. If he gave her another chance…she would for sure realize that he was indeed the one she was looking for. Any man who had the common sense to tell a girl who broke up with them 5 years ago that they forgave the girl and did want to be with her even through all this time usually meant they loved them no matter what. Unconditional love. True feelings. TRUE love. She thought for a second and tears came to her eyes. Tears of suddenly remembering what it felt like to be held in his arms…or at least what she thought it felt like. It was like no other feeling in the world to her. She wiped away the tears and continued on down the road fighting to keep from breaking down and just saying forget it he would not take me back after how I broke his heart. Not to far up ahead was a small town that included a gas station with a motel next to it. The most likely explanation was the motel was for truckers on the road who preferred a good motel room to the calling of their own trucker beds. "Well now to just sneak into one of the rooms and get a few hours of shut eye before I pass out." She changed into her double identity and quietly undid the door to one of the empty rooms. Quietly she shut the door behind her and locked it then slipped out of her Sailor clothes and into the nice warm bed. It felt good to be in a bed, but for some reason it lacked a certain…feel to it. She looked to her right and could only imagine Shane quietly sleeping next to her, his firmly chiseled body calm and gentle and she scooted over like she was next to him, and gently…fell asleep.
Early the next morning…
The girl stirred a little and smiled turning over fully so she was face down. She suddenly opened her eyes and looked around realizing she was in the motel room for this morning. She yawned slightly and stretched showing her bare breasts as they gently moved with her every move. She looked over at her clothes and noticed they were still a bit wet from the shower she had been caught in. After realizing her entire body was indeed a bit…disheveled she decided that a shower was indeed in order. She moved over to the bathroom in the back end of the room and looked at the tub that was to give her relief from her dirty situation. It indeed looked relaxing and she turned the shower on closing the curtain and hopping in feeling the warm jets of water stream down the natural curves of her body. She suddenly realized that Shane had not seen her growth into a young woman, and that her breasts were no longer small and childish, but had grown into mature breasts that needed to be loved as much as the rest of her changing body. The shower provided a good distraction as the jets of water still splashed against her holding her relaxed. "Have I really changed though? Am I still not the same girl that fell in love with him 5 years ago?" She did a little pondering within her own heart and concluded that if Shane truly still cared that he would accept her for who she was and not who she had been with or who she had left him for. She slightly hugged her own body and was still afraid of the latter that could happen. What if Shane rejected her, and was not with another girl? One who she couldn't match up to? One whose breasts were bigger, and whose facial features were more tender than hers? She shook her head and discarded a little water that slowly moved down her face trying to forget such stupid things. If he had someone else he loved…she would accept that, and move on with her life. The sudden realization came that she had looked at a very narrow point of view and now her fears were starting to come closer and closer to her. She feared having come all this way to be…rejected. Again she shook her head and laughed lightly telling herself that Shane would never find someone like her again. Just a self-confidence booster, but that booster was only short lived. The warm water like her love for him the first time, slowly died out and she realized that she had done nothing more than mope in the shower for the better part of a half hour. She quickly found the soap and cleaned herself up before the water got any colder, and stepped out of the shower. A towel wrapped around her body she looked into the mirror at her still somewhat damp hair. It seemed to not know which way it wanted to go. It was like her heart of so long ago. It wasn't sure which way it wanted to go. It had two choices to go…one way was toward Shane, the other, was the way that caused more pain than she had ever felt before in her life. She looked down a little and felt like the pain of all the years of mistrust between her and her old boyfriend. How long had he been playing with her heart? How had she…fallen for him? More questions lingered in her mind still unformed or unreadable. She shook her head and sneezed. It appeared as though all this rain and crappy weather she had been traveling in was finally starting to take its toll on her. Her eyes were a little blood shot from apparent lack of sleep, and her stomach growled a bit as she had not eaten anything in a few days. She shook her hair a little more and moved it with her hand down to one side to make it look as presentable as possible before heading out of the bathroom and back to the bed. Her clothes were a little wet still from the rains from the night before but were dryer than before. She slipped back into her sailor outfit and tossed the towel on the bed for the cleaning crew. Cautiously she looked out the window to make sure no one was near before she slipped out of the room and dashed out across the open road ahead of her. When no one was coming from either way she quickly returned to her regular clothes and continued her trek across the vast valley that led into Billings. The road sign to her right said she was still about 20 miles out of town, but she didn't know if she was 20 or 200 miles away from his heart or even if 200 miles was a close guess. The feelings of doubt returned and she grit her teeth thinking about the times he made her feel happy. She wanted to feel like that again; happy, excited, vibrantly full of life, secure. The visions of all her happy moments seemed to play out in her head like a movie. It made her smile for one bittersweet moment of how the movie might not have to end with what she had now. It might be able to continue, in a chorus of colors that were so indescribable to understand unless someone themselves had lived in her shoes. She continued her vast journey down the highway still playing that movie in her head slowly like each moment was going to be the one that would last forever in her heart.
Billings…
Shane simply sighed and looked at his watch, as the hours slowly seemed to go by. Going to the mall did nothing to calm him, and even beating his favorite arcade game made him still feel a little…empty inside. He knew it was caused from all the things that had been going on in the last few months, and toppling that with his current state of emotions that he suddenly remembered, it looked like things would continue to spiral down until he could no longer stand it, he realized that the only way he could get out of this funk was to do what he did the last time he felt this way. Just move and realize there is nothing more that can come of it. Nothing more that could come of it? He sounded more like someone who had given up all hope in life than someone who had great amounts of faith, but he also realized that he needed to distinguish faith from the reality of the situation. The reality was that in a way for the second time he lost the battle of love. This time to Jessie, and because of time, and the first time…to the one he thought he would forever be with, because she fell in love with another. Shane shook his head a little and realized that his whole attitude was changing because of what had happened not to long ago…how much it made him feel like he did back then. Was he going to be the same great guy he had always been? Of course, he knew the only way to become friends is to be yourself and just act politely. So he had no intention of changing that aspect of himself. What he wanted to change was his feelings…about real love. He needed to just get over what had happened and focus on how to make his next brush with love last longer or maybe perhaps last forever. Entering one of his favorite stores he watched as one of the games being displayed on the TV showed a familiar scene of a guy and girl holding each other close. Shane's heart wretched at the sight and he tried his best to let the feeling pass over. After a few seconds it did subside and he watched as the game continued to show off its buy me persona giving a look at the graphics, feel, and flow of the game. Shane's gamers' instinct told him that it looked somewhat good, but shouldn't be pounced on until he saw more. After talking for a few minutes with the local crew on duty he checked his watch again and thought it was best to just head home and continue his research. He gave a good bye and left the store exiting the mall a few minutes later. The walk home was short since he lived near the mall, but the feelings that were beginning to escape were not ones he wanted to let be known at this exact moment if ever. He gave a hard smile and snickered thinking, "Bah, who needs women? I have everything I'll ever need. Plus with all the constant attacks, how can I live a double life and still find time to fall in love?" The thought engulfed him, but of course he knew that it was VERY possible to lead all that and more. It was his fear that caused him to reject the very idea of ever wanting it, yet he knew deep in his heart it was all he could think about. The idea of finding the one meant for him, and starting a family with that person someday. He wanted nothing more then to spend the rest of his days on this planet protecting the one he loved more than anyone else. That desire to protect ran deep in his veins, and coursed throughout his body. It was how he wielded his anger as Meta, and how he could control those emotions in battle. But after a few more minutes he could feel his grip slipping and his emotions began to cause a buckle in his eyes. "No…I'm stronger than this," he thought as he could feel the reign of emotion begin to take him over. He fought hard and contained his emotions until he reached his house. Once he was in his room he fell onto his bed and just cried. It was hard to keep it bottled up. It ate him up how both times he felt that way they ended suddenly and it was not what he wanted. He wanted something that he could feel for the rest of his life. Not something short lived and fleeting in his grasp. He looked up from his bed and could barely see through his crying eyes. Everything was blurry…like the feelings in his heart and mind. "No…I put that behind me. It was not meant to be in both cases. Neither of them were…but…if that's true, then why do I still feel something for the first? What is it? Why do I still feel like this…even after all this time? Why?" Shane shook his head and laughed a little trying to give a reason for why, but it was lame as hell. All he knew was that the pain he felt for her long ago had not gone away and it was like it waited holding on hope after all these years for her. Eventually he quit crying and checked the time. It was only 5 but it felt much later. Even the sky was once again heading towards rain and it looked much darker than usual. "It's going to rain once more. Like the feelings in my heart for her." Shane moved into his bed and fell asleep instantly from all the stress he had put himself through.
Many hours later…
"FINALLY I'm here!" the girl said as the rains continued to pound on her. "I'm just not feeling…*Achoo!* good." She sniffed and could feel her body starting to give on her. She turned the corner onto Miles and struggled to get down to the appropriate house number. It felt like forever getting to the house, but once she did she knocked on Shane's window a little hoping he would wake up. "Come on…please wake up…I'm freezing out here!" she thought. After a few minutes she fell to the right onto the concrete steps that led to the interior of the house. She gave some light breaths and her eyesight was blurry and fading. All she knew was that if she died here she would die in front of the house of the one she loved. That was all that mattered to her. She gave one final light breath and then lost all consciousness.
Shane moaned a little hearing the tapping and left his room and turned right out his door to get the front door wondering who the hell it was at 2 in the morning. "Better not be some damn cat…" Shane mumbled half awake. He opened the front door up and noticed a girl lying unconscious on his front steps. He blinked a few times trying to see better and when he suddenly saw her long hair his eyes grew wide in awe. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! AM I DREAMING?!" He thought and went outside touching her wet and cold body. "It is! But she's ill! Quickly you fool Shane! Get her inside before she dies!"
Shane picked her up gently and she moaned, "Shane…"
"Just hold on a sec there. I'll keep you safe." Shane got her back inside and got her out of her wet clothes and put her in a pair of his warm clean sweats, and sleep shirts. Then he set her gently on his waterbed and put the covers up over her. "I've got to be dreaming though!" Shane thought, "It's been…5 years almost…and she comes to see me now?" Shane shook his head and said, "Come on Shane she's in danger of dying, no time to have feelings for her." Shane slipped into his bed next to her girl and held her close trying to keep her warm as well and for some reason the urge to kiss her cheek got the better of him and he did it. It was cold and wet, but he felt like crying. It was like his wish had come true. The dreams he had dreamed every night on and off had come true. The one he cared for more than the world itself had come back to him. He didn't know why but he was so happy he could cry forever. He suddenly snapped out of it and slipped out of bed and grabbed a towel and slipped her long beautiful hair in it and set the end of the towel behind her head and slipped back in getting as close as he could holding her and trying to keep her warm. When he realized how cold she was he thought to himself, "Don't you die on me…I can't lose you a second time. I still love you." He looked at her pretty face despite being pale and cold he put his head next to hers and fell asleep still holding her close and trying to keep her as warm as possible.
Later that morning…
The rains had subsided and the girl in Shane's arms squirmed a little. Her teeth clattered a little as she was still cold, but she felt someone holding onto her. She turned her pale face over a little and through blurry eyes could make out a face. His face was a little soft looking, but he had some whiskers growing on his chin, and his hair was cut short. He looked so peaceful sleeping but at the same time he looked determined to keep his grip on her. She looked down and saw that she had been given a different set of clothes and that her old ones were on the floor in a pile over by the door. She felt…warm inside again. It was like she remembered that familiar touch of someone she knew. She noticed the bed was a little movable and it made slight waves with her movements. Her mind was still a haze and she didn't really know where she was. Her sight had cleared a little more and she looked around at the room. It seemed just as familiar as the guy next to her. It was like she knew where she was, but she just couldn't put 2 and 2 together at that exact moment. She looked around a little more and noticed the room was scattered a little but looked fairly homely and quaint. On the dresser beside the TV was a photo of someone. A couple smiling gently and cuddling up next to each other on what appeared to be this same bed. The girl was holding hands with him and appeared to be in heaven. "That…look familiar," she thought.
Shane moaned a little and stirred moving his arms a little. "Are you ok…" he didn't finish his sentence and feel back into sleep.
The girl smiled and felt a little warmer like he was her guardian angel put on this earth to protect her from harm. Her memory started to return and she looked around again once more and realized where she was. She felt much warmer suddenly and turned herself so she was facing the guy holding onto her. She blushed a little and kissed him on the lips gently holding him closer to her. "It's Shane…"she realized. "He's here…with me. He did everything he could to keep me warm." She could feel her eyes on the verge of tears and sniffled a little. She suddenly felt like she had been given new life and her limbs started to move a little more. Her head hurt a little bit and she moaned a little, but her eyes still remained watery. Shane moaned a little bit and moved his grip around. Something didn't feel right to him. He felt like he was grabbing onto another person, or someone else was on the bed. He moaned again and opened his eyes. His first view looked like an angel was lying beside him, and he smiled, but then he blinked and realized that the angel was indeed lying next to him. His eyes opened a little more and he saw her eyes in near tears. She sniffled a little and said to him softly, "You protected me again Shane…thank you."
Shane suddenly became more aware of his situation and realized that he a girl next to him in bed! His reflex action made him jolt up scared, but he looked back at the girl's relaxed and happy eyes and he realized who it was. "What…how? When…what…how did you get all the way here?"
The girl wanted to move up to his sitting position but he held her down and shook his head slowly. She sniffled again and said, "Shane, it's me…I got here by walking, busing, hitchhiking you name it I did it."
"But how? You live over a 1000 miles away!"
"It's me Shane," her eyes continued to grow in tears until she placed her hand on his heart. "It's me Shane…I'm…Jennifer. The one you still love."
An Unavoidable Fate…A Startling Return
Four months later…
The time had gone by faster than expected, and Shane's mother had gotten well, but Shane still thought about how it was that she got sick in the first place. The doctors were still shocked when the virus no longer was within her body, but they shrugged and wondered what might have caused this…rouge germ to cause so much trouble. The fact that it was only within her a few weeks made it rather difficult to study, and considering the doctors did MASSIVE amounts of testing to make sure that nothing like it remained only disheartened them more. "I've never seen symptoms like them before either. It's like a new disease or something just appeared out of no where and then simply disappeared."
"Symptoms do not match anything known in my records either," a cold metallic sounding voice responded.
"Well of course not Windstrom, you never got to check a sample of the germs."
"True."
"Can you hack into the hospital's data base and tell me if they were able to acquire a sample of the germ?"
"I will try now…accessing hospital data base…searching…" Shane took a deep sigh and leaned back in his chair. He still thought about that last kiss he gave Jessie over four months ago. It still was like an aroma of fresh flowers in his mind. It was sweet, and yet, sad…he knew that she had a thing for Shane, but at the same time Shane realized that they would never see each other again. Then Shane had another thought. A slight smile escaped his lips and he mouthed out something. "Search complete. Records indicate a small a amount of research was done on the germ."
"Show me a compete analysis of all research they got on this little bug. I want to know what the hell it was." Windstrom spewed a bunch of charts, and text on the screen. Shane looked them over and rubbed his stubble of whiskers once in a while. Despite it being called a little amount of research, there were nearly 100 pages of it that Shane had to filter through. "Little research they have here," Shane said with a chuckle. He suddenly stopped and looked a little harder at something and said, "Windstrom can you get a closer shot of that photo right there?"
"Attempting…" the photo got a little closer and something that appeared to be a small coil of excess energy changed into a particle of solid matter was clearly shown.
"What the hell? Windstrom is that what I think it is?"
"I am unable to tell you what it is as I have no actual sample to cross reference it with."
Shane rolled his eyes and said, "Ok Windstrom, but do you have anything that LOOKS like that in your files?"
"Checking cross reference…"
Shane relaxed in his comfy leather chair once again and thought, "Man Jessie, if only we would have gotten more time to be together…there might have been a chance for us."
"Match found…"
Shane perked up and said, "What? Show me."
"Photo resembles a particle of energy in a solid state similar to…"
"The main weapon on my armour. Incredible…I've NEVER seen it physically inserting into a human body and kept like that before. But how could a particle from my armour be inserted into my mother's body? The armour hasn't been touched in nearly 3 to 5 years."
"Unknown at this time."
Shane snickered, "Windstrom that was not a question directed at you. I know you don't know how." Shane relaxed back and thought a little more. His mind was still a little hard to concentrate on things of such importance, but he was a young man, and he too did have feelings he wished he could express sometimes. His thoughts went farther back to before he had met Jess, and to another girl. One that he cared for more than he could physically and emotionally remember, but he also gave a slight laugh when thinking harder about it. "She made her choice. I moved on. There was nothing I could do about it." Shane sat up and decided that he had done enough research for the day and was a bit hungry. He exited the computer room via the portal that was always open and was taken to his room that existed in the real time/real world contingency. The other end of the portal where he had exited closed behind him, as it would be rather odd seeing something like a swirling vortex crackling with energy always open in the center of his room. His room was small and very relaxing to be in. It provided a sort of…get away from the world feeling that he felt nowhere else. Of course right now the only thing he wished for was the feeling that had been re-ignited in him to come true…it was like a small hole had appeared in his heart. A hole he thought he had patched up many years ago. He tried to shrug it off, but it was for not to be taken away. He laughed and realized that it was indeed the same way she and he had met last time. It was over boarding a plane that was taking him back from California. His portal watch had been left at home for the trip to California and he was unable to return to his native state without taking a means of normal transportation. It was the first time anyone had seen him in the sense that he was indeed leading two different lives. The first as Shane Jones…and the other…as someone completely different from his usual generous self in a sense. Her reaction was the same as Jessie's when he had to leave. However something was different about that encounter. It was because he had feelings for her too. Shane shook his head and murmured something silently trying to forget about that first encounter. "No, I'm not going to look back on that. I decided to move on…but…I still just wonder, what she's doing now. How she's doing now that we haven't talked in so long. Shane looked out of his windows and saw the darkness of night. The street lamp gave little light but it looked like it had been raining for sometime. The sight of rain, the sudden feeling that he remembered…it was like he was reliving some horrid dream that never came true for him. His mind started to fish through things and he fell on his bed like his legs had been taken out from under him. His mind was now acting like it was no longer going to take orders from it's own self. It wanted to remember those times…the times of the past. Shane's eyes slightly danced down to seal themselves from the light of his room, and he continued to remember all that had happened around his chance meeting of love.
"Shane…I…I don't want you to leave. I don't know how to put this in words, but all I can tell you is that I'll feel, like I'm losing a piece of myself if you go," a young girl with hair that ran to the middle of her back said. Tears were close in her eyes as anyone could tell, and her hands were near her heart like she was grasping for it not to leave her.
Shane stood there as the windows portrayed a gently falling rain much in the same way as her eyes seems to be raining with tears. The rain feel at a much faster pace than her tears, but the feeling of them both was the same. Shane opened his mouth to speak but could say nothing. It was like the rain was portraying his feelings as well, only he chose not to show them in as much detail as she. Finally he said something off the end of his breath, "I…"
The female's eyes widened in hopes of wanting to hear what she had been hoping for since her first actual jump of feeling for him. "Please Shane. I…I…" she looked down at the ground like she had done something wrong and felt it was all her fault.
Shane put his hand out and walked over to her wrapping it around her gently. "Shhh…don't cry. You didn't do anything wrong. It was never your fault to feel this way anyways."
The female looked up at Shane and replied, "How is it not my fault? I was the one who felt this way for you."
"How can you consider have feelings for someone a bad thing?"
"Because…how can you tell someone if you don't know how they feel back about you?"
"What if the roles were reversed? And I said that I didn't know how someone felt about me if I had feelings for them?"
The female's eyes were indeed full of tears, and she asked, "Shane…I'm serious when I say I don't want you to leave me. I'm afraid of what might happen when I can't see you, or…"
Shane tilted his head, "Or be with me?" The girl's face blushed and she looked down so as not to show her appearance to Shane. Shane made a meek smile and looked out at the rain gently coming down upon the runway. "Listen to me…I'm going to tell you something. No matter how far away I am, I won't leave you. I can't allow myself to leave you. I've learned a few things about myself that I never thought possible until I met you."
The girl looked up at him a slight smile crossing her face, "Shane…I have had other boyfriends in the past…I admit…but of them all…I can honestly say none of them has shown this much…kindness and said the things you have said about me…back to me."
Shane smiled and nodded, "I'm serious…I really think you are indeed an angel sent from heaven. I…will say that I'm hoping…you…are the angel I'm supposed to be with."
The girl hugged him tighter and she looked down blushing a little harder. "Does that mean you won't leave me?"
"I won't leave you. I promise you. I'm just as curious to see what it is about you that has made me feel so…wonderful inside."
"Shane…can…I…"
Shane smiled, "What is it you want to…"
The girl quickly moved her head up to his and placed her lips on his taking Shane by surprise. The kiss lasted for a few moments, but for Shane it felt like it had lasted many more moments than it actually was. Shane's lips were removed from hers and something inside him jumped. He pulled her mouth back to his and continued to work on it like a massager gently relaxing his or her client. "Last call for boarding flight 3189 from San Diego to Denver."
Shane heard the call and realized that he had to break off the kiss, but…he didn't want to. It was like without that kiss he would be missing a part of himself. So he did the next best thing. He finished the kiss and held her close to him saying, "Listen to me…I'll tell you something. Head to the park where you first met me around 3:30 tomorrow and there will be a surprise."
The girl looked up her whole face in sorrow, "All right, but I wish you had decided to stay."
"I never said I could. I have responsibilities just like the rest of the world. And I'm still in school just as you are."
The girl nodded her head against his shirt and said, "I know…but it's going to be hard without you here."
Shane smiled gently his eyes crying tears as well, "I know, it's going to be hard leaving you." He wiped away a few of her tears and slowly let go of her grasp to board the plane. After a few minutes she watched as his plane turned and headed toward the runway. Then as it started to become airborne she watched as it sailed away farther and farther from sight until…it was gone.
The next day Shane was not his usual chipper self in school, and his friends did take a noticing to it. One of his friends asked him if he had not gotten enough sleep or had partied to hard. Shane nodded and told them it was just lack of sleep. He didn't want to tell them he had fallen in love…and couldn't sleep because he wanted to see the one he had fallen for so bad. It was indeed devastating to him to be so many miles away, and be so helpless. The one thing he knew however was that he had the means to be with her, and the ways to get to her. It was a bittersweet moment to understand, but he had to keep his emotions in check for just a bit longer. Finally the day had gone on long enough and school was done. Shane rushed home as fast as he could and showered quickly. The shower however felt well on his body as each of the warm jets of water hit him like the warm touch of his lover's hand. After about 5 minutes however he was done and headed back to his room to get changed into something a little nicer than his school clothes, but not to fancy. He checked his watch and saw it was only 3:45, but he knew that there was a possibility that she would arrive early. So he decided now was the best time to leave. He grabbed his watch that allowed him to use portals to one place or another and strapped it on his wrist. Finally he gave a quick wave goodbye to his mother and told her he was going out for a while to play some basketball. His mother smiled and waved back to him telling him not to be out too late. Shane could feel his heart pounding harder and harder every step he took. It was like he couldn't wait to be back with her in his arms holding her tightly against his body. When he had gone far enough out of sight of anyone or anything he opened a portal to the park where he and she had first met. The other end of the portal we hidden by some trees so no one could see him come from the portal. He looked around and instantly the memory of his first meeting with her echoed in his mind. Although their first encounter had to be at the fact of a yoma attacking the people at the park, it was indeed sweet from the start. He had no idea that she too, was leading a secret life as well. It was like she was able to understand the feeling of being normal, but at the same time understand that she was no longer alone. Shane took a deep breath and walked over to the trunk of one of the larger trees that was in pretty plain sight throughout the entire park. He looked at his watch and noticed it was only 3. Realizing that he still had lot of time left before her arrival, he decided to sit against the trunk of that tree and reminisce of the first time he had seen her. The day was just as nice out as it had been that first day. The only difference was Shane was there following a hunch that something was not right in this city, and we're talking the not of this world kind. He had taken caution to the wind but still acted as regular as he could without really trying to draw attention to himself. That was when the creature attacked. Without warning it killed a few people, and severely wounded others. People fled like rabid animal fearing for their lives. Only she was willing to stand guard and help defend as people tried to escape. Indeed it was surprising to see someone fight like they had more strength than a human, but what I couldn't understand was she was only 9 or 10 in appearance. Of course I rushed over and hid changing into my armour, but seeing her fight with that yoma…it was like a different thing was felt the first time I saw her. It sparked something within my heart. A…touch of warmth…that I had never felt before, and even though she was much to old for me, I…I wanted to see what it was about her that made me…feel this way. From that point on…it was odd. I made the yoma realize I had arrived and did my thing, but that girl did nothing in the way of trying to escape. She simply told me that it was nothing she couldn't handle, and of course I had to do my heroic rescue thing when she nearly got herself killed. She was different however…not like anyone else I had ever encountered. A free spirited soul shrouded in the body of a vibrant young girl. It was that overpowering sense of…finding the one, which must have kicked in. After that battle I just stared at her…as she did me. I don't know what she was thinking…but…it might have been exactly what I was thinking. She was pretty beyond her years, and age or not, I had the feeling that she was the one I wanted to be with despite only being a lad of 13. I did my thing of reviving the ones that yoma had killed, or at least attempted to revive, and headed away with a searing pain in my heart that leaving her was next to impossible. What luck when I met her again that night…at that same park. This time the feeling was more romantic than the time from earlier before. What she told me…it was incredible that I not know she was the same as I. She knew that I was not of this earth as she, but she was in tears when she said she was glad to have found someone like her that understood the pain of leading a double life. How could I not do everything in my power to make her feel better? At first…it was out of the sheer fact that she was realizing she was not alone, but then…the feeling changed, and was now one that I wanted to feel. I didn't want to feel alone. Things happened, and I realize that she was known as a Sailor Scout or something from Japan, and that she had a past that was indeed stooped in tales long thought to not exist, but that she had been reborn as a human here in this world to help protect it from whatever supernatural forces arose. Here I thought no one would even understand my plight or situation of leading a double life. She had been doing the same thing as I. Only she knew of her past and was much easier to interact with the normal humans of this world than I could. Perhaps it was a star-crossed love, or perhaps it was a whim of God's overwhelming power. I knew not but one thing. I feel in love with that girl and nothing could ever change that. A sudden jolt awoke me from my slumber and low and behold…there she was clinging to me at the base of that tree crying. Her eyes and facial features a mess, but clearly showing what is was she was happy for. A true love at first sight…or so I thought. We dated for a while, and slowly time moved on. She was now there to help defend the world with me, and our love grew, but one day she came to me with something that forever changed my heart. It made me realize that when you realize true love. It is something that will be known in the parables of time and space, not thought up from one end, and hoping perhaps from the other. She told me that she had fallen in love with another…a human of this world. What could I tell her? We had been going out for nearly a year, and each day I thought of her more and more. I thought of how much more I would do to protect her. What should I say? That she shouldn't leave me? That she was making a very…displaced decision in her life? I cast away my thoughts of sorrow and realized that it was for naught. She was a soul of free will, and as much as I thought I had tamed her, she was merely playing me for a fool for the time being and escaped when she had realized the fence could not hold her anymore. All I could do was simply smile at her and nod telling her I hoped for the best between her and her human. Inside of my heart I was devastated. The hole she had left in me was incredible. She gave me a last kiss good-bye and told me to never forget her. She was my friend forever, and that was what she wanted me to be for her. A friend. I watched as she walked away from me not knowing how she was feeling. It was something that forever made me realize that I could never love someone like her again…until I had seen and met Jess. Shane jolted himself awake and shook his head a little yawning. He put his hand to his head and moaned, "It was…only a dream. But that dream took place over 5 years ago. I'm no longer 14 and she is no longer a mere child. She has grown up." Shane looked outside at the darkness and realized he had been sleeping for quite a while. The rains had subsided, but Shane shook his head thinking that the rains in his heart were going to continue raining for a while, until he fixed the pain in his heart. His clock said 2:45, but it felt earlier in the morning than that. It felt closer to 4 or 5.
30 miles outside of Billings…
"Talk about the best time for that portal watch he gave me to break on me. I must be insane thinking that he'll remember me after all these years, and I never did forget him. I look back on it now and realized that I was young and impulsive in a way. It's been 5 years since we last talked even. Has he found someone else?" A slew of things raced through her mind and she remembered how she felt that fateful day when Shane had left on that plane for home.
"How can I not love him?" she thought as they simply stared at each other. She opened her mouth and said it as best as her heart could, "Shane…I…I don't want you to leave. I don't know how to put this in words, but all I can tell you is that I'll feel, like I'm losing a piece of myself if you go."
She watched as Shane stared out the window and wondered what he was thinking…about her, about everything they had been through. Eventually he turned his head back to her and said off the end of his breath, "I…"
"I what…I? I? I?" her mind raced wondering with answers she wished to have set in the place of the blank. "Please Shane. I…I…" she looked down at the ground like she had done something wrong and felt it was all her fault.
The next thing she felt was his arm around her body and the warm feeling that was associated with it. "Shhh…don't cry. You didn't do anything wrong. It was never your fault to feel this way anyways."
Her heart started to feel warm and relaxed and she looked up at Shane and asked feeling like crying, "How is it not my fault? I was the one who felt this way for you."
"How can you consider have feelings for someone a bad thing?"
"Because…how can you tell someone if you don't know how they feel back about you?"
"What if the roles were reversed? And I said that I didn't know how someone felt about me if I had feelings for them?"
Her eyes were full of tears and she cried, "Shane…I'm serious when I say I don't want you to leave me. I'm afraid of what might happen when I can't see you, or…"
Her whole heart felt like it was about to leave her and forever flutter away in a feeling of emptiness that would be felt if he did not stay.
Shane tilted his head, "Or be with me?" Her face suddenly blushed and she looked down so as not to show her appearance to Shane. Shane made a meek smile and looked out at the rain gently coming down upon the runway. "Listen to me…I'm going to tell you something. No matter how far away I am, I won't leave you. I can't allow myself to leave you. I've learned a few things about myself that I never thought possible until I met you."
She looked up at him a slight smile crossing her face, "Shane…I have had other boyfriends in the past…I admit…but of them all…I can honestly say none of them has shown this much…kindness and said the things you have said about me…back to me." Her heart still held on in her throat but she swallowed it thinking that it was true that no one else had made her feel this, happy this, loved, before.
Shane smiled and nodded, "I'm serious…I really think you are indeed an angel sent from heaven. I…will say that I'm hoping…you…are the angel I'm supposed to be with."
She hugged him tighter thinking, "He thinks I'm an…angel?" She looked down blushing a little harder and said aloud, "Does that mean you won't leave me?"
"I won't leave you. I promise you. I'm just as curious to see what it is about you that has made me feel so…wonderful inside."
"Shane…can…I…"
Shane smiled, "What is it you want to…"
She quickly moved her head up to his and placed her lips on his taking Shane by surprise. The kiss lasted for a few moments, but for her it felt like it had lasted many more moments than it actually was. Shane removed his lips from hers and then pulled her mouth back to his and continued to work on it like a massager gently relaxing his or her client. "Last call for boarding flight 3189 from San Diego to Denver."
"No! Please God not when I'm this happy!" her heart cried out. She realized Shane had heard the call and realized that he would have to break off the kiss, but…she didn't want to. It was like without that kiss she would be missing a part of herself.
Shane finished the kiss and held her close to him telling her, "Listen to me…I'll tell you something. Head to the park where you first met me around 3:30 tomorrow and there will be a surprise."
"A surprise?" her mind raced through the millions of things that it could be, but each one ended with him being at that park holding her in his arms gently. She looked up her whole face in sorrow, "All right, but I wish you had decided to stay."
"I never said I could. I have responsibilities just like the rest of the world. And I'm still in school just as you are."
She nodded her head against his shirt and said, "I know…but it's going to be hard without you here." She thought for a second, "Hard? What am I thinking? Try impossible. How can I even consider surviving without him?"
Shane smiled gently his eyes crying tears as well, "I know, it's going to be hard leaving you." He wiped away a few of her tears and slowly let go of her grasp to board the plane. After a few minutes she watched as his plane turned and headed toward the runway. Then as it started to become airborne she watched as it sailed away farther and farther from sight until…it was gone.
After seeing it no longer exist in plain sight she whispered to herself, "My heart is…forever scared until I see you again…my love."
School…just what she needed to show everyone that something was wrong. It was bad enough Shane had left a scar on her heart, but now she would have to lie to her friends that nothing was wrong despite how red her eyes had been. She hadn't gotten a wink of sleep all night, and all she could focus on was that first and only kiss they had given each other at the airport. It was so…perfect feeling. It felt like when she had forced that kiss on him that her heart had gone down his throat and given a piece of itself to him as a reminder to never forget her. She perked up suddenly remembered about the surprise at the park. Her mind raced with questions as to what it was and she stared at the clock almost with a harsh scowl telling it to move faster or feel her wrath. The clock seemed to laugh at her controlling her life it would seem. It gave no inch or quarter to move faster and it tore her apart inside having to wait for it's long movements to add up. Somehow, she had managed to break free from time and school. It was 3 and she was already out the school doors as fast as she could. It was a 5-minute walk to the part on a good day, and the sunny weather guaranteed her a quick walk to the park. Her mind still raced viciously gathering many numerous ideas as to what her "surprise" would be. She looked at her watch and saw it was 3:10 when she had arrived at the park. Somehow it had taken her longer to get to the park than she had realized. She scanned the area slowly as to not miss any detail that might indeed be her "surprise." Maybe it was the fact that she felt him, or the fact that she caught him out of the corner of her eye, but she took off toward Shane and hugged him tightly like a lost teddy bear she needed to sleep with at night. Shane was taken by surprise and was actually sleeping against the tree. Her hug had awoken him, but instantly he knew it was she and hugged her back gently holding her in his arms. The feeling of withdrawal in her heart had subsided and she realized that she loved him more than she thought. She felt a love stronger than she ever had before. It was something that consumed her whole heart, but it also filled her up with love and joy. The mess of emotions in her mind subsided and she felt more at ease with his tender but firm grasp around her. Months passed and she felt her love for him grow and grow…but there was something else that she had realized. She had fallen in love with a friend of hers at school, and like her, they loved her back. Her mind was confused once more and she realized she had one of the hardest choices to make in her life. Stay with Shane, or abandon him and go with what her heart was telling her now. It hurt because she knew that her heart was saying go with her other friend. She would never love another like Shane again, but she knew that it time to move on, and find someone closer to her, more down to earth than Shane. So after many months of being with Shane she decided that it was time for a change. Her heart was fighting itself when she looked out across the horizon with him one last time. She could just feel his heart eating itself alive trying to bury the feeling of sorrow it had. Shane's face still carried that signature smile it always had, and she looked at the watch she had been given. It had meant so much to him to let her have it, but when she tried to give it back he told her that it meant more to him if she kept it. A way to remember him of sorts. Her mind was still confused, but her heart even more so. She smiled one last time, waved a good bye to Shane, and walked off not turning around to show him the tears that streamed from her cheeks over a decision of this magnitude.
She wiped her eyes and thought to herself, "It's been about 5 years since I saw him last. How could I let him…slip away? He always treated me so special. Like there was nothing more he wanted than to be with me. He never treated me bad, and every time something arose he was there to dry my tears. My other b/f wasn't all that much different…but when I found out…that he was cheating on me I was at a loss. I dated him for nearly 5 years, all the way through my freshman year, but I never thought he would want to do something as vile as cheat on me at an age so young and tender. I can only hope whoever he ends up with is ready for a life of pain and torture." The girl looked down at her clothes and laughed lightly saying, "Ok, so I'm going through pain and torture here, so I'm in no condition to speak." She moved along slowly and found herself to be a few miles closer than she had been when she had last realized where she was. "Just a few more miles to go." She was upset by the fact that she had to hitchhike over 1000 miles just for him, but in a way it was one of the obstacles she was willing to go through. If he gave her another chance…she would for sure realize that he was indeed the one she was looking for. Any man who had the common sense to tell a girl who broke up with them 5 years ago that they forgave the girl and did want to be with her even through all this time usually meant they loved them no matter what. Unconditional love. True feelings. TRUE love. She thought for a second and tears came to her eyes. Tears of suddenly remembering what it felt like to be held in his arms…or at least what she thought it felt like. It was like no other feeling in the world to her. She wiped away the tears and continued on down the road fighting to keep from breaking down and just saying forget it he would not take me back after how I broke his heart. Not to far up ahead was a small town that included a gas station with a motel next to it. The most likely explanation was the motel was for truckers on the road who preferred a good motel room to the calling of their own trucker beds. "Well now to just sneak into one of the rooms and get a few hours of shut eye before I pass out." She changed into her double identity and quietly undid the door to one of the empty rooms. Quietly she shut the door behind her and locked it then slipped out of her Sailor clothes and into the nice warm bed. It felt good to be in a bed, but for some reason it lacked a certain…feel to it. She looked to her right and could only imagine Shane quietly sleeping next to her, his firmly chiseled body calm and gentle and she scooted over like she was next to him, and gently…fell asleep.
Early the next morning…
The girl stirred a little and smiled turning over fully so she was face down. She suddenly opened her eyes and looked around realizing she was in the motel room for this morning. She yawned slightly and stretched showing her bare breasts as they gently moved with her every move. She looked over at her clothes and noticed they were still a bit wet from the shower she had been caught in. After realizing her entire body was indeed a bit…disheveled she decided that a shower was indeed in order. She moved over to the bathroom in the back end of the room and looked at the tub that was to give her relief from her dirty situation. It indeed looked relaxing and she turned the shower on closing the curtain and hopping in feeling the warm jets of water stream down the natural curves of her body. She suddenly realized that Shane had not seen her growth into a young woman, and that her breasts were no longer small and childish, but had grown into mature breasts that needed to be loved as much as the rest of her changing body. The shower provided a good distraction as the jets of water still splashed against her holding her relaxed. "Have I really changed though? Am I still not the same girl that fell in love with him 5 years ago?" She did a little pondering within her own heart and concluded that if Shane truly still cared that he would accept her for who she was and not who she had been with or who she had left him for. She slightly hugged her own body and was still afraid of the latter that could happen. What if Shane rejected her, and was not with another girl? One who she couldn't match up to? One whose breasts were bigger, and whose facial features were more tender than hers? She shook her head and discarded a little water that slowly moved down her face trying to forget such stupid things. If he had someone else he loved…she would accept that, and move on with her life. The sudden realization came that she had looked at a very narrow point of view and now her fears were starting to come closer and closer to her. She feared having come all this way to be…rejected. Again she shook her head and laughed lightly telling herself that Shane would never find someone like her again. Just a self-confidence booster, but that booster was only short lived. The warm water like her love for him the first time, slowly died out and she realized that she had done nothing more than mope in the shower for the better part of a half hour. She quickly found the soap and cleaned herself up before the water got any colder, and stepped out of the shower. A towel wrapped around her body she looked into the mirror at her still somewhat damp hair. It seemed to not know which way it wanted to go. It was like her heart of so long ago. It wasn't sure which way it wanted to go. It had two choices to go…one way was toward Shane, the other, was the way that caused more pain than she had ever felt before in her life. She looked down a little and felt like the pain of all the years of mistrust between her and her old boyfriend. How long had he been playing with her heart? How had she…fallen for him? More questions lingered in her mind still unformed or unreadable. She shook her head and sneezed. It appeared as though all this rain and crappy weather she had been traveling in was finally starting to take its toll on her. Her eyes were a little blood shot from apparent lack of sleep, and her stomach growled a bit as she had not eaten anything in a few days. She shook her hair a little more and moved it with her hand down to one side to make it look as presentable as possible before heading out of the bathroom and back to the bed. Her clothes were a little wet still from the rains from the night before but were dryer than before. She slipped back into her sailor outfit and tossed the towel on the bed for the cleaning crew. Cautiously she looked out the window to make sure no one was near before she slipped out of the room and dashed out across the open road ahead of her. When no one was coming from either way she quickly returned to her regular clothes and continued her trek across the vast valley that led into Billings. The road sign to her right said she was still about 20 miles out of town, but she didn't know if she was 20 or 200 miles away from his heart or even if 200 miles was a close guess. The feelings of doubt returned and she grit her teeth thinking about the times he made her feel happy. She wanted to feel like that again; happy, excited, vibrantly full of life, secure. The visions of all her happy moments seemed to play out in her head like a movie. It made her smile for one bittersweet moment of how the movie might not have to end with what she had now. It might be able to continue, in a chorus of colors that were so indescribable to understand unless someone themselves had lived in her shoes. She continued her vast journey down the highway still playing that movie in her head slowly like each moment was going to be the one that would last forever in her heart.
Billings…
Shane simply sighed and looked at his watch, as the hours slowly seemed to go by. Going to the mall did nothing to calm him, and even beating his favorite arcade game made him still feel a little…empty inside. He knew it was caused from all the things that had been going on in the last few months, and toppling that with his current state of emotions that he suddenly remembered, it looked like things would continue to spiral down until he could no longer stand it, he realized that the only way he could get out of this funk was to do what he did the last time he felt this way. Just move and realize there is nothing more that can come of it. Nothing more that could come of it? He sounded more like someone who had given up all hope in life than someone who had great amounts of faith, but he also realized that he needed to distinguish faith from the reality of the situation. The reality was that in a way for the second time he lost the battle of love. This time to Jessie, and because of time, and the first time…to the one he thought he would forever be with, because she fell in love with another. Shane shook his head a little and realized that his whole attitude was changing because of what had happened not to long ago…how much it made him feel like he did back then. Was he going to be the same great guy he had always been? Of course, he knew the only way to become friends is to be yourself and just act politely. So he had no intention of changing that aspect of himself. What he wanted to change was his feelings…about real love. He needed to just get over what had happened and focus on how to make his next brush with love last longer or maybe perhaps last forever. Entering one of his favorite stores he watched as one of the games being displayed on the TV showed a familiar scene of a guy and girl holding each other close. Shane's heart wretched at the sight and he tried his best to let the feeling pass over. After a few seconds it did subside and he watched as the game continued to show off its buy me persona giving a look at the graphics, feel, and flow of the game. Shane's gamers' instinct told him that it looked somewhat good, but shouldn't be pounced on until he saw more. After talking for a few minutes with the local crew on duty he checked his watch again and thought it was best to just head home and continue his research. He gave a good bye and left the store exiting the mall a few minutes later. The walk home was short since he lived near the mall, but the feelings that were beginning to escape were not ones he wanted to let be known at this exact moment if ever. He gave a hard smile and snickered thinking, "Bah, who needs women? I have everything I'll ever need. Plus with all the constant attacks, how can I live a double life and still find time to fall in love?" The thought engulfed him, but of course he knew that it was VERY possible to lead all that and more. It was his fear that caused him to reject the very idea of ever wanting it, yet he knew deep in his heart it was all he could think about. The idea of finding the one meant for him, and starting a family with that person someday. He wanted nothing more then to spend the rest of his days on this planet protecting the one he loved more than anyone else. That desire to protect ran deep in his veins, and coursed throughout his body. It was how he wielded his anger as Meta, and how he could control those emotions in battle. But after a few more minutes he could feel his grip slipping and his emotions began to cause a buckle in his eyes. "No…I'm stronger than this," he thought as he could feel the reign of emotion begin to take him over. He fought hard and contained his emotions until he reached his house. Once he was in his room he fell onto his bed and just cried. It was hard to keep it bottled up. It ate him up how both times he felt that way they ended suddenly and it was not what he wanted. He wanted something that he could feel for the rest of his life. Not something short lived and fleeting in his grasp. He looked up from his bed and could barely see through his crying eyes. Everything was blurry…like the feelings in his heart and mind. "No…I put that behind me. It was not meant to be in both cases. Neither of them were…but…if that's true, then why do I still feel something for the first? What is it? Why do I still feel like this…even after all this time? Why?" Shane shook his head and laughed a little trying to give a reason for why, but it was lame as hell. All he knew was that the pain he felt for her long ago had not gone away and it was like it waited holding on hope after all these years for her. Eventually he quit crying and checked the time. It was only 5 but it felt much later. Even the sky was once again heading towards rain and it looked much darker than usual. "It's going to rain once more. Like the feelings in my heart for her." Shane moved into his bed and fell asleep instantly from all the stress he had put himself through.
Many hours later…
"FINALLY I'm here!" the girl said as the rains continued to pound on her. "I'm just not feeling…*Achoo!* good." She sniffed and could feel her body starting to give on her. She turned the corner onto Miles and struggled to get down to the appropriate house number. It felt like forever getting to the house, but once she did she knocked on Shane's window a little hoping he would wake up. "Come on…please wake up…I'm freezing out here!" she thought. After a few minutes she fell to the right onto the concrete steps that led to the interior of the house. She gave some light breaths and her eyesight was blurry and fading. All she knew was that if she died here she would die in front of the house of the one she loved. That was all that mattered to her. She gave one final light breath and then lost all consciousness.
Shane moaned a little hearing the tapping and left his room and turned right out his door to get the front door wondering who the hell it was at 2 in the morning. "Better not be some damn cat…" Shane mumbled half awake. He opened the front door up and noticed a girl lying unconscious on his front steps. He blinked a few times trying to see better and when he suddenly saw her long hair his eyes grew wide in awe. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! AM I DREAMING?!" He thought and went outside touching her wet and cold body. "It is! But she's ill! Quickly you fool Shane! Get her inside before she dies!"
Shane picked her up gently and she moaned, "Shane…"
"Just hold on a sec there. I'll keep you safe." Shane got her back inside and got her out of her wet clothes and put her in a pair of his warm clean sweats, and sleep shirts. Then he set her gently on his waterbed and put the covers up over her. "I've got to be dreaming though!" Shane thought, "It's been…5 years almost…and she comes to see me now?" Shane shook his head and said, "Come on Shane she's in danger of dying, no time to have feelings for her." Shane slipped into his bed next to her girl and held her close trying to keep her warm as well and for some reason the urge to kiss her cheek got the better of him and he did it. It was cold and wet, but he felt like crying. It was like his wish had come true. The dreams he had dreamed every night on and off had come true. The one he cared for more than the world itself had come back to him. He didn't know why but he was so happy he could cry forever. He suddenly snapped out of it and slipped out of bed and grabbed a towel and slipped her long beautiful hair in it and set the end of the towel behind her head and slipped back in getting as close as he could holding her and trying to keep her warm. When he realized how cold she was he thought to himself, "Don't you die on me…I can't lose you a second time. I still love you." He looked at her pretty face despite being pale and cold he put his head next to hers and fell asleep still holding her close and trying to keep her as warm as possible.
Later that morning…
The rains had subsided and the girl in Shane's arms squirmed a little. Her teeth clattered a little as she was still cold, but she felt someone holding onto her. She turned her pale face over a little and through blurry eyes could make out a face. His face was a little soft looking, but he had some whiskers growing on his chin, and his hair was cut short. He looked so peaceful sleeping but at the same time he looked determined to keep his grip on her. She looked down and saw that she had been given a different set of clothes and that her old ones were on the floor in a pile over by the door. She felt…warm inside again. It was like she remembered that familiar touch of someone she knew. She noticed the bed was a little movable and it made slight waves with her movements. Her mind was still a haze and she didn't really know where she was. Her sight had cleared a little more and she looked around at the room. It seemed just as familiar as the guy next to her. It was like she knew where she was, but she just couldn't put 2 and 2 together at that exact moment. She looked around a little more and noticed the room was scattered a little but looked fairly homely and quaint. On the dresser beside the TV was a photo of someone. A couple smiling gently and cuddling up next to each other on what appeared to be this same bed. The girl was holding hands with him and appeared to be in heaven. "That…look familiar," she thought.
Shane moaned a little and stirred moving his arms a little. "Are you ok…" he didn't finish his sentence and feel back into sleep.
The girl smiled and felt a little warmer like he was her guardian angel put on this earth to protect her from harm. Her memory started to return and she looked around again once more and realized where she was. She felt much warmer suddenly and turned herself so she was facing the guy holding onto her. She blushed a little and kissed him on the lips gently holding him closer to her. "It's Shane…"she realized. "He's here…with me. He did everything he could to keep me warm." She could feel her eyes on the verge of tears and sniffled a little. She suddenly felt like she had been given new life and her limbs started to move a little more. Her head hurt a little bit and she moaned a little, but her eyes still remained watery. Shane moaned a little bit and moved his grip around. Something didn't feel right to him. He felt like he was grabbing onto another person, or someone else was on the bed. He moaned again and opened his eyes. His first view looked like an angel was lying beside him, and he smiled, but then he blinked and realized that the angel was indeed lying next to him. His eyes opened a little more and he saw her eyes in near tears. She sniffled a little and said to him softly, "You protected me again Shane…thank you."
Shane suddenly became more aware of his situation and realized that he a girl next to him in bed! His reflex action made him jolt up scared, but he looked back at the girl's relaxed and happy eyes and he realized who it was. "What…how? When…what…how did you get all the way here?"
The girl wanted to move up to his sitting position but he held her down and shook his head slowly. She sniffled again and said, "Shane, it's me…I got here by walking, busing, hitchhiking you name it I did it."
"But how? You live over a 1000 miles away!"
"It's me Shane," her eyes continued to grow in tears until she placed her hand on his heart. "It's me Shane…I'm…Jennifer. The one you still love."