Chapter 7

It was an hour or so later that Alejandro felt Diego's head move slightly, and saw his blue eyes waver open, then squeeze shut again as the awareness of his agony grew sharper. Alejandro sucked in his breath in amazement as he watched Diego try to block the acknowledgment of that pain from his face before he opened his eyes again.

Dios! How can he do that in his condition? He's not really succeeding, but if it's so important to him, I can't let him know I'm seeing through his efforts. Santa Maria, help me give my son at least that much. Please help me be half as strong as he is!

He felt Diego start to tense up again when he didn't immediately see Victoria. Quickly grabbing his son's shoulders to hold him still, he was determined to prevent the disastrous consequences that had occurred the last time Diego had attempted to move around.

"It's OK, son. Nothing's happened to Victoria. Relax. She'll be back shortly." I hope.

"Where…where…is…she?"

Alejandro hesitated before answering, and immediately found his wrist again imprisoned in Diego's grip. This time, however, there was very little strength in that grip. Alejandro fought to control the despair that threatened to show up on his own countenance, and forced a falsely bright smile onto his face.

"Ramiro and his men are gone. They left about an hour and a half ago. About twenty minutes ago we heard a lot of gunfire, maybe a half mile away. It's stopped now. I could hear military muskets. We think the bandits must have run into a patrol...probably one out looking for us. Victoria went to see if she can catch up with the lancers and get help."

"No! You…shouldn't have…let her…go! Too dan…ger…ous!" Diego started coughing again, and Alejandro propped his head a little higher as he wiped the blood from the corner of Diego's mouth again. His "smile" faltered just a bit.

"Diego, it had to be her. I'm old. I've been sitting here like this so long my legs are too stiff. I wouldn't have been able to move quickly enough to make it before the soldiers get out of the area. We need help now, son. We've got to get you to a doctor."

Diego's eyes met his father's in the most direct, intense stare Alejandro had ever seen Diego give anyone.

"Father…I think…we both… know…it's far too late…for a…doctor…to help…now." Diego coughed some more, and rested limply in his father's arms, his eyes holding Alejandro's.

O Dios! He knows he's dying. What do I say to him?

"Just hang on, Diego. Hang on. Please. Help should be here in just a few more minutes. Don't give up. Please, hijo, keep fighting."

I've got to keep talking to him. I've got to keep him awake!

"So…tired…too much fighting…too long…."

What?

"Diego, just listen to me. Let me do the talking, OK? Save your breath."

"Don't…like…to fight. Never…wanted…."

"Shhh. I know, son."

Santa Maria, why didn't I appreciate him more for what he IS, instead of always pushing him to be the type of man I was at his age? I never wanted him to have to be in the military. Why did I always complain because he didn't want to fight like a soldier?

"Diego, look at me, son. Listen to me." Diego's eyes locked onto his father's face. "I've found out more about you in the last twenty-four hours than I've learned in the past eight years since you came home from Spain."

Diego's eyes widened and Alejandro felt him stiffen again. What did I say to make him so nervous? He looks guilty, like he did as a child when we caught him doing something he knew he wasn't supposed to do! What is he so concerned about me finding out?

"It's OK, Diego. I don't know what you're so worried about me knowing, but whatever it is, it can't be anything so bad you need to worry about it now. Please let me say this, hijo.

"If I've learned anything from this nightmare, I know I've been badly mistaken about the type of son I have. I once called you a coward, Diego. You've no idea how many times I've regretted those words, but never more than right now."

Tears were streaming down Alejandro's face, and he made no effort to control them. Diego's face softened and he tried to reach up to his father, but Don Alejandro caught his hand and held it.

"Let me finish, please. I've sat here with you all night. You were feverish, and you were saying a lot of things you didn't even know you were saying." He's tensing up again. "Diego, all you could think about all night long was finding a way to get us out of here. Not to get yourself out. To get Victoria and me out. You would wake up, and there would be pure panic in your face at first. But only until you knew we were still here and unharmed." Alejandro forced a smile to his face again. "Well, actually I think you were a little more concerned about Victoria than about your old father, here.

"I know you love Victoria, Diego. She knows, too." A slight hint of a real smile crossed Alejandro's face at the range of emotions that Diego's pale face expressed after those words. "We'll talk about that later, son, when Victoria gets back. Right now, I need to tell you something that's very important to me."

He took a deep, trembling breath before he continued.

"Diego, you're not a coward. No coward would be so concerned for another person's welfare, and so unconcerned about his own, under these circumstances. You're a man who values peace, Diego, and peaceful solutions to problems. That's not the same as being a coward. I think I've finally realized the difference. I'm so sorry for taking so long to understand that, and for causing you so much pain over the years with my words."

Diego's mouth had been opening and closing as he tried to interrupt his father, but Alejandro hadn't let him until he was finished. Now he watched as Diego's own eyes filled with tears.

"You…you saw what…what I…let you see…, Father. I'm…so…sorry….all the lies….Never wanted…hurt…make you…ashamed…."

Lies? What lies? What is he talking about? Then the rest of what Diego was saying sunk in, and one word started echoing through Alejandro's horrified consciousness: 'Ashamed…ashamed…ashamed…ashamed!'

O Madre de Dios! Santa Maria, Madre de Dios! My son thinks I'm ashamed of him! The words flew out of his mouth. He couldn't have slowed down if his life depended on it.

"NO! Diego, listen to me! O Dios, son, I'm not ashamed of you! I'm so proud of you…of all of the things you've accomplished: the Guardian, the way you've raised Felipe, your intelligence….Son, I may not always understand you. I know that's come out as criticism far too often. You're so like your mother, Diego…much more than you're like me! Yet I keep trying to make you more like me.

"Hijo, you're all of the things I so loved about your mother. You're gentle, patient, filled with a love for the arts and for learning. All I've ever known is soldiering and ranching. I wanted you to know so much more, and then I complained because you don't love the same things I do. Can you ever forgive me for that?"

"You…you're…proud of me?" Alejandro fought not to break down completely at the sight of the desperate hope in Diego's eyes.

"Oh, yes, son! Oh, yes!" Diego's eyes closed, and he sighed peacefully. Then his eyes opened slightly again, and his frown was back. He tried to speak, but his voice was so faint Alejandro had to strain you make out his words.

"Victoria…where's Victoria?"

Alejandro could hear hoofbeats in the distance, coming closer. He glanced up at the window and saw Sergeant Mendoza and several lancers galloping toward the cabin, with Victoria mounted behind Mendoza. Gracias a Dios!

"She's coming right now, Diego. Mendoza's soldiers are here. You rest. Everything will be all right, now."

Victoria swung down from behind Mendoza and came running into the cabin. She dropped down beside Diego and took his hand. As their gazes met, Victoria gave Diego a tremulous smile, leaned down, and kissed him on the lips. It was the kiss of a lover, not the kiss of a friend.

Alejandro saw Diego's eyes widen. He cautiously allowed Mendoza to help him draw his legs out from under Diego and let Victoria take his place. Diego went into another coughing spell, but as soon as the coughing ended, he gave his father a tired smile and a grateful glance. Then his eyes met Victoria's, and it was immediately obvious, at least to Don Alejandro de la Vega, that everyone else in the room had ceased to exist for them.

Alejandro let Mendoza assist him to his feet, and stumbled into the other room, pulling Mendoza with him. He glanced back to see Victoria cupping Diego's cheek in her hand, murmuring something he couldn't hear. His son smiled, took Victoria's hand in his weak grip, and pulled her down toward him. Alejandro closed the door and left them alone.