5. Night

My apartment occupies the penthouse on the 21st floor of an upscale apartment building in San Francisco, California. It's so different from New York, I can't stand it.

I miss my old life.

I miss my friends.

I miss my family.

I miss my job.

I miss my apartment.

Sometimes, I go up on the roof just to think, to be alone, and think. Sometimes, when I'm up there, I can just close my eyes, feel the cool breeze, and I can almost make myself believe I'm home in New York. Almost. One night, I was up there, and thinking. I thought about how it was the five year anniversary of closing a major case. After the case, Elliot, Olivia, Munch, Fin, Cragen and I went to Mulligan's for drinks. It was fun, laughing and joking and celebrating.

I remembered that as I sat up there. I closed my eyes, wrapped my jacket tighter around my shoulders, and pretended I was back at the bar, joking with my friends. I envisioned them, sitting on barstools, various drinks in front of them. It appeared they were all sitting in front of me, and I was watching the scene play out from an invisible point of view. I smiled, and opened my eyes. They disappeared, and I was left staring at the Golden Gate bridge, bright and shining in the night.

I looked out into the darkness, and I swore I could hear my friends laughs resonating through the sky from far away.

But maybe it was only a memory.


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